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Church Experiences Now

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roadrunner

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So I still go church just to keep the peace. My wife is on me like a hawk watching as I don't bow before eating or go to bed. To make matters worse in church we are going through Abraham's life and we made it to Lot. Most atheists know that anyone who questions yahweh's moral compass will fall off the bandwagon at Lots story.

We did get a brief touch on how Lot, the saved man, offered his daughters to a mob of heathens. To make matters worse I accidentally laughed uncontrollbly when Lots wife was turned to a pillar of salt. It didn't help that our pastor said this and where he normally would have elaborated he simply looked up with a puzzled face and said "what a strange thing to turn her into" I couldn't hold back the laughing and I was the only one making the oinks and grunts that come from holding in a laugh. I immediately grabbed the program and drew one of those blue cylinders of Morton's. Salt with the girl in the yellow coat and umbrella. I couldn't get the image out of my head. The pastor saw me laughing and I sit very close to the front.

In the car I mentioned to my wife that the forgers must have fought over that one. I can see them now arguing that no one is going to believe that....SALT....seriously. of course wife as upset that I ways mocking the story. Then we joked and reenacted the event together.

 

Edited since smartphone word prediction sucks.

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I don't think I could sit through another church service. At least, not any Pentecostal service. I'm afraid I would have the same reaction as you did to Lot's wife becoming salt, and get a lot of hostile glares from everyone in the room.

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Reminds me of the cartoon where Lot is at the dinner table with his 2 children. One of the kids asks his dad to "Please pass the mom and pepper."

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Reminds me of the cartoon where Lot is at the dinner table with his 2 children. One of the kids asks his dad to "Please pass the mom and pepper."

 

I hope I never have to sit through a church service where anyone talks about Lot, because now I will only be able to think of this joke, and I might not be able to stifle the laughter.

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