Sorry to read about this. It must be very difficult to have a believer as a spouse. She is using emotional manipulation in a pathetic attempt to control you. If her apology was genuine, there won't be more incidents of this type. If there are, I would call her out for being insincere, at the very least.

That sucks so bad. Are you actually okay with your wife treating you like a recalcitrant two-year-old and manipulating you that way? It'd be really hard for me to contain my fury if my own spouse did that. I don't know what to think about her apology; as Deva's said, you'll know if it's genuine if she stops. But four attempts to strong-arm you in a row speaks to a fairly deeply-entrenched behavioral pattern. Good luck with her. That's just awful to hear about. Hope it gets better.

First of all, you shouldn't have said grace. You should just come out in the open, make it clear you don't believe, and you won't be coming back around. Secondly, the actions of your wife display a fundamental lack of respect, which is, obviously not really surprising for "Christians". In my own marriage things went quickly for bad to worse, and never got any better. I have beenn divorced for nearly 20 years, and these and similar conflicts have brought a good deal more misery into my life than anyone deserves. It's probably going to be tough. Discussions on this website are a very good way to gain insight and receive commiseration when things goo wrong in your life. It ain't easy bro!

I agree with MWLarry, you shouldn't feel like you need to keep the peace. SHE and her family are the ones that will make a big whoopity about it all and frankly, that is their own fault and no concern of yours. It is very snarky on your wife's part to purposely pick at you and push buttons then turn around and play the wounded woman after she instigated your hostility.

THAT is game playing, and you should make it clear it is not allowed in your relationship. Bringing your relationship difficulties over beliefs to the forefront of any public event is downright cruel and abusive, and she damn well knows it. Next time she cries about how hard it is, remind her how hard it is to trust someone with your love and respect when they throw you under the bus at family events instead of trying to be a family and have a good time. Ask her to dry YOUR tears.

Guys and gals you are right that I shouldn't have said grace but since there were other people there from her family that I don't want to let know yet I said it. Also I didn't feel it was the time or place to yell fire in a crowded theatre. I know I know. But I want to let the right people in on me first so they don't have to her it through the grapevine. It was mostly her family and the funny thing was that the grace I said was barely a step above good is great god is good....so when I finished breezing through a mindless sentence or two, they all slowly lifted their heads and looked at me like 'that's it?' you could have heard a pin drop. I really think she was genuine with her apology. I'm not naïve I know my wife she knows that she goofed.

Those were some super sucky things for her to do.  She needs to not be manipulative..ESPECIALLY not in company.