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Goodbye Jesus

NEWsong's Blog

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Looking At The Past Year



blog-0487497001357334532.jpgWhen I look back onto 2012, it will always "be the year" that I lived FULLY as an EX Christian.


In 2011, I began the deconversion process in March and found that I was "deconverted" by November. It was a turbulent year with my mom being diagnosed with 4th stage cancer at the age of 87, living several states away from me to where I had not already seen her for nearly two years when she passed away in Sept 2011. I had resigned from my full time employment and relocated and my son joined us in the summer and he began a new school in August. Amidst all the personal change and loss, I found that I could no longer believe and "be" a christian. I realized how I would have prayed and cried out to God for help when I realized that I needed to comfort myself because christianity did not comfort me. It did not help me cope with life's losses nor did it give me any answers to the reason that my mom died so quickly from cancer. I "let go" and let God do whatever He wanted to do in someone else's life. I was done "waiting upon the Lord" by the time that 2011 ended. 2011 was truly a year of GREAT CHANGE (deconversion that is).


2012 started with DEEP realization of my life situation without all the delusion and false promises that I had accepted from a buoyed up ego. I realized that though there was a VOID in my life, it was a GOOD void and that I was going to allow LIFE to fill up the places where I had lived in denial and delusion. I started feeling better about myself and who I am and what my "purpose" in life is all about. It is no longer connected to "what I believe" or "what I do" as much as it now depends solely upon "what I love".


I started enjoying my life so much more in 2012 and it will always be remembered as my FIRST WHOLE YEAR as a FREE THINKER; free of religious doctrine and dogma, free from the expectations and of others as well as of myself, free to "be me" truly for the first time in a VERY long time.


I would like to thank Ex-Christian Net and its members for "being there" for me and providing a place where others, like myself, who NEVER could have imagined that they would ever be an EX christian, could come and share and feel welcomed and accepted.


I look forward to seeing what 2013 brings me and I truly hope that each of you will have the love, joy, peace and conviction of heart that you desire in this coming year...and always.


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