Guest Zenobia Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Just curious, did any of you ever think... even for a little moment... that just maybe you would be one of the Two Witnesses? Come on, be honest. *blushes* I sorta kinda thought, just for a moment, once, that maybe I would be since I worked for a religious televangelist show. Fortunately I quickly came to my senses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I expected to find the second one any day. It is amazing how readily we throw our lives away at the first opportunity when we take all the jazz of xtianity serious. Revealed religions make people some of the most narcissistic bunch of dumb butts you will ever meet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhampir Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 House of Yahweh The leader, Ysrael Hawkins believes that he and his *dead* brother are, or at least will be the two witnesses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuaiDan Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 What are two witnesses? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted June 9, 2008 Super Moderator Share Posted June 9, 2008 I never thought I was worthy of a special purpose. I just wanted to do His bidding, whatever that might entail. Apparently, He wanted me to come to my senses and turn atheist. Who woulda thought? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 What are two witnesses? :whs: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I assume the Two Witnesses is from Revelations. They supposedly were preaching to the world, and killed publicly, and then resurrected by God's power, as a proof of God's existence in the last days. And yes, I did once or twice think that maybe, just maybe, I was one of them, but that lasted only for a few seconds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MathGeek Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I answered "What are the Two Witnesses" knowing full well what Zen was talking about. The concept gained noteriety with the rise in popularity of the Left Behind Series. I was only concerned with them when I read the novels. I put the series down and I never thought about them again. Truth be told, I wouldn't be one of the 144,000 other witnesses either. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JernJane Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 It is amazing how readily we throw our lives away at the first opportunity when we take all the jazz of xtianity serious. Not only that, but how ready we are to grab at anything that makes us feel special. I never truly believed I was one of them, but I did hope from time to time. I always wanted to be something major in God's plan. I wanted to be a hero, someone without compromise who stood for Christ against the Beast. Now I feel like the luckiest person in the world, just being alive. I love life and I love being good to people around me just for the sake of being good to them. I love not being motivated by fear or guilt and I believe true honour lies in being upright, strong and wise. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I was once sure that Brother Jimmy Swaggart and I were the Two Witnesses, but now I've come to my senses. Glory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 I voted Who are the two witnesses. I hadn't a clue. Even the reference to Revelation doesn't clue me in. I was spared most of the horrors of the Left Behind series. Don't think I could have handled them and I don't think my mother would have allowed them in the house. My church did not subscribe to the Rapture; saw it as a heresy of the worldly church that was afraid of the tribulation. I still can't see it any other way. We held to the scene described in Matt. 24. That was scarey enough. And if martyrs are needed, what about Peter and Stephen from the NT? No need for Jimmy Swaggert to swagger down the ailse of heaven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 If memory serves, the two witnesses only appeared after the rapture had taken place according to what the Baptist church taught. There were a reminant of people left behind who would be saved but at great cost to them (martyrdom, generally). I suppose I never thought myself or anyone I knew could be them, because the real christians were gone and the witnesses had to be some sort of reincarnated Elijah or Moses or some old testament prophet. Sounds bizarre in view of the fact that reincarnation is heretical to the Baptists, but that's how I understood it. Weird. Then again the whole rapture, tribulation scenario was weird. At the same time I was always afraid I wouldn't go at the rapture but I was always sure my parents would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dunany77 Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 I went through a phase of really obsessing about the end times and trying to read the news to figure out who would be the Antichrist and all that, and I really hoped I'd be left behind on purpose so I could go and preach the wurd to the masses. I wanted to be a son of thunder and call down lighting on the heathens heads or go toe to toe with a demon. But alas, 'twas but a dream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 Rev 11:3 And I will give orders to my two witnesses, and they will be prophets for a thousand, two hundred and sixty days, clothed with haircloth. 4 These are the two olive-trees and the two lights, which are before the Lord of the earth. 5 And if any man would do them damage, fire comes out of their mouth and puts an end to those who are working against them: and if any man has a desire to do them damage, in this way will he be put to death. When I hit puberty I was pretty confident this was about my testicles. mwc 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zenobia Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 Rev 11:3 And I will give orders to my two witnesses, and they will be prophets for a thousand, two hundred and sixty days, clothed with haircloth. 4 These are the two olive-trees and the two lights, which are before the Lord of the earth. 5 And if any man would do them damage, fire comes out of their mouth and puts an end to those who are working against them: and if any man has a desire to do them damage, in this way will he be put to death. When I hit puberty I was pretty confident this was about my testicles. mwc That's hillarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zenobia Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 Our Church didn't subrscribe to the rapture theory at all. We believed the members of our church, the 144,000, would be "taken away" to a place of safety. For some reason, our church believed this "place of safety" was Petra. I never quite understood where this came from... but I've been to Petra and it is a beautiful place. It was featured in the third Indiana Jones movie, in case no one else knows where in hell Petra is. It's in the country of Jordan. Here's a pic: Anyway, my memory of church doctrine is hazy since I left the church around 20 years ago... but I think after the 144,000 went to Petra, the Great Tribulation was supposed to begin and the Antichrist was supposed to do his thing and this would go on for 1,000 years or so and after that Jebus would come to earth to fix everything and I think that this was where the two witnesses came in. We always thought they'd be TV reporters broadcasting the return of Jebus to earth. Now that I've actually been a reporter for 15 years, it sounds pretty funny. I don't think it would get much coverage, to be honest. Unless Jesus diddled with his intern or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 Rev 11:3 And I will give orders to my two witnesses, and they will be prophets for a thousand, two hundred and sixty days, clothed with haircloth. 4 These are the two olive-trees and the two lights, which are before the Lord of the earth. 5 And if any man would do them damage, fire comes out of their mouth and puts an end to those who are working against them: and if any man has a desire to do them damage, in this way will he be put to death. When I hit puberty I was pretty confident this was about my testicles. mwc Did your testicles testify very frequently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 The Church of Christ (Christian) pretty much ignores the Revelation and pretty much considers the end times bullshit to be actual bullshit. Though of course they use more theological language to describe it. My Koine professor said that he was a pan-pro millennialist. That is what ever Revelation meant, it would all pan out in the end and that what ever it was he was for it. Therefore I never gave the 2 witnesses any thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 I was once sure that Brother Jimmy Swaggart and I were the Two Witnesses, but now I've come to my senses. Glory! Meaning that Brother Swaggart isn't the other witness? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 I was once sure that Brother Jimmy Swaggart and I were the Two Witnesses, but now I've come to my senses. Glory! Meaning that Brother Swaggart isn't the other witness? No, I'm afraid not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Did your testicles testify very frequently? They made witness of the Holy Spurt quite frequently... mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raul Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 I think,that it refers to two prophets,who were taken alive to heaven in OT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I voted "Who are they?" because there was no clear "no". After checking Wikipedia I now remember reading about them in Revelations. It is a memorable passage in that dastardly book. It never occurred to me that I'd be one of them. I've never read the "Left Behind" series. Perhaps one must have read that series to see it in that perspective. If your answer was any of the many versions of "Yes" AND you have read "Left Behind", could you comment on what you found you would have had in common with one of the Two Witnesses? Did the author create characters that come out of obscurity? Did the author create characters that are common everyday people? Or perhaps really realy holy people? When I read Revelations I picture people with great leadership/communication skills like, Moses/David, Winston Churchill or Lee Iacocca. That ain't me. So those observations lead me to wonder about the Left Behind books. Did the author employ subtle(yet ingenius) manipulation techniques to cause the reader to imagine themselves in the shoes of the Two Witnesses. Were you manipulated to think that way? You see... whenever I look at fundamentalist religion... I see brainwashing everywhere; its the only way to sell bullshit! Mongo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 You see... whenever I look at fundamentalist religion... I see brainwashing everywhere; its the only way to sell bullshit! Mongo I can't comment on your main questions because I never read Left Behind. But I saw a different take on "brain-washing." It was near the end of "Strong City." This kid grew up in the cult, then her mom left but the girl wouldn't leave. When the leader Wayne Bent, posing as Father Michael, predicted the End of the World the mother took her daughter home for fear it would be mass suicide. But the daughter went back. She told the interviewer a few days before the predicted End that, "Yeah, Father did wash my brain--he washed it of corrupt thoughts!" That comes from a minor who was induced to lie naked on "Father's" bed while he held her. She says it defiantly while sitting on a seat under a tree with three other teenagers and Father, holding hands with each other; all of it is very intimate. There was no suicide, according to the reporter, but there would be no more interviews. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramen666 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 :wtf: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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