Dealing With Woo At My Yoga Class

[2Honest]

Ok, so I started attending a yoga class recently. It is held at a woman's home about 5 minutes from where we live. I was really happy to find this class b/c we live in a very small Bible Belt town. So I was amazed to find this group of women who aren't Christians. But there's a problem...the class is part of a "Wellness Center" operated out of a converted shop building. Here's a description from their website: "____ is a Center for spiritual exploration & holistic healing without judgement or competition. We are a group of like-minded people from all walks of life enjoying life thru community in yoga, energy healing, shamanism and other modalities."

 

I've gone to 3 of the classes so far and before the class the women sit around and talk (most of them get there early). They seem like a fun group, pretty laid back and have a good sense of humor. But in their conversations, things have come up about their spiritual beliefs. For instance, the yoga instructor is of Native American heritage and is building a sweat lodge in her back yard. She talked about how she walked her property to find the right spot for it and why she felt "led" to build it on a particular site. Another woman commented excitedly about how the "spirit" led her to that perfect spot. Later on, a woman walked in and was all excited about this business deal she got that she'd been hoping for. She attributed her good fortune to the "energy work" she'd gotten at the center. She said that her colleagues left the voicemail about her getting the deal at the exact same time she was getting her treatment at the center. Some of the women were like, "oooohhh".

 

The owner of the healing center does something called "Reconnective Healing". I did a little research on it and it was started by some guy who is a former chiropractor. It just reeks of a scam. He sells dvd's and does conferences teaching others how to do this "healing method". She offered to "work on me" a couple of times, so last night I agreed to it (she does this free for yoginis). I chose to be open-minded - I figured hey, if it helps why do I care how it works? But I didn't feel a thing and had no improvement in my symptoms afterwards. She said it may take more than one treatment to see results. (Btw the "treatment" consisted of me lying w/my eyes closed on a comfy massage table while she stood next to me waving her arms around back and forth over my body. It apparently has something to do with a person's "energy field".)

 

The thing is, I really wanted to go into this whole thing with an open mind...but I wasn't really interested in any woo or spirituality. The belief system I came out of was VERY into woo, so that's a big turn-off for me now. I think part of that could be a knee-jerk reaction b/c I was hurt by my former spirituality. But the main reason it bugs me is that I see many of these people doing the same thing as people in Charismatic Christianity. They believe they can manipulate the outcome of life events through this belief system. They must suspend logic and reason in order to believe what they do.

 

So, I guess I just don't know how to go forward with this. The women aren't pressuring me, but they do invite me to these "healing weekends" and stuff. I really enjoy the yoga and can see that it will provide real benefits to my health. There is a guided meditation at the end of the class. But I know that meditation is proven to relieve stress and to be beneficial, and it feels great, so I have no problem with it

 

These women are all friends and they seem to want to welcome me into that friendship. I have no other friends since leaving church, so it would be nice to have friends again. But I guess I just don't want to be in a situation where I'm AGAIN the odd person in the room and the only one thinking logically and rationally. If I want, I can just show up for class and avoid the other stuff. But if I'm just going for the yoga, I could just do that at home w/a DVD and avoid the conflict.

 

On the flip side, I wonder if I'm being too "close minded". Is there something to this stuff that they're into? Should I put my reservations aside and just try it out? But wouldn't that be suspending all logic and reason, just like I did when I was a Christian?

 

 

<sigh>

[Guest Valk0010]

There is a difference between being open minded and having zero bullshit meter.

[blackpudd1n]

As a former pentecostal, it sure sounds the same to me- just with a different label. But they may be more open minded than the fundies to you being different. Why not just be open about where you are at and how you see things, and see where it leads? A friendship built on false foundations isn't a friendship.

[YellowJacket]

that's why I do yoga at the gym. the instructors are absolutely forbidden to introduce any woo, even tho most of them also teach at those "wellness" centers.

[Positivist]

The belief system I came out of was VERY into woo, so that's a big turn-off for me now.

~~~

So, I guess I just don't know how to go forward with this. The women aren't pressuring me, but they do invite me to these "healing weekends" and stuff.

~~~

These women are all friends and they seem to want to welcome me into that friendship. I have no other friends since leaving church, so it would be nice to have friends again.

~~~

On the flip side, I wonder if I'm being too "close minded". Is there something to this stuff that they're into? Should I put my reservations aside and just try it out? But wouldn't that be suspending all logic and reason, just like I did when I was a Christian?

Ugh. I totally hear you. I am totally anti-woo as well and I literally run the other way if something sniffs of woo! The woo from my past is all the same sort of garbage, in my opinion. I am reveling in positivism--the epistemic perspective that derives data from sensory input (i.e. not woo). I love knowing that there aren't energy fields, magic or other woo going on. I bask in the reality I see all around me. I am exploring the physiological aspects of spirituality through academic literature, to find how and why we, as humans, experience woo factors in a variety of settings.

 

So, I don't know what to recommend. Getting more woo is pouring salt into a wound for us. It's too bad this group tarnishes something as healthy as meditation and yoga. Would it help if you viewed their experiences in neurotheological or physiological terms? Maybe if we can recognize that humans get a neurotransmitter buzz from doing X, Y or Z, it won't matter what they call it or how they conceptualize it.

[florduh]

First, we can't say "woo" around here.

 

Second, is there something to it? No, but apparently you can talk yourself into feeling special for a while. Should you try it out? I wouldn't expect those people to set a trap or be as judgmental as the Christians might. It might be fun; I have friends with all sorts of strange, unfounded beliefs and it doesn't get in the way as long as we don't try to convert each other.

[2Honest]

First, we can't say "woo" around here.

 

Seriously? I didn't know that was an offensive term here. I just didn't know what else to call it. Sorry if I've offended anyone.

[florduh]

Seriously? I didn't know that was an offensive term here.

Well, it's not a law or anything. Some people see the word as derogatory to unfounded belief systems. Eventually you'll see a complaint about the word from somebody somewhere. Just saying.

[Thackerie]

It sure doesn't offend me. I believe in calling "woo" what it is. I just stay out of the Spirituality forum and out of discussions with easily offended people.

[2Honest]

Ugh. I totally hear you. I am totally anti-woo as well and I literally run the other way if something sniffs of woo! The woo from my past is all the same sort of garbage, in my opinion. I am reveling in positivism--the epistemic perspective that derives data from sensory input (i.e. not woo). I love knowing that there aren't energy fields, magic or other woo going on. I bask in the reality I see all around me. I am exploring the physiological aspects of spirituality through academic literature, to find how and why we, as humans, experience woo factors in a variety of settings.

 

That's been a relief for me, too. There is a part of me that still wonders about some of that stuff. But it was so exhausting to live a life of thinking about the "invisible" and trying to "interact" with it all the time. I think I'd rather spend my time learning about things that have actually been proven by evidence to be true.

 

Would it help if you viewed their experiences in neurotheological or physiological terms? Maybe if we can recognize that humans get a neurotransmitter buzz from doing X, Y or Z, it won't matter what they call it or how they conceptualize it.

 

Hmm, I don't know. I think the sticky part is knowing how to interact with people who's worldview is informed by their belief in something like that. What makes it so difficult is that I'm a very non-confrontational person. So I have a hard time voicing my opinion when I'm in the middle of a group that I know disagrees with me. Plus I'm better at writing than talking. I have a hard time explaining my position in person - especially if I'm outnumbered. So it just makes it tempting for me to avoid people who think differently. But I don't really want to be like that. I mean, I don't care if these women want to live the way they do. If it's working for them, then why should I care? Live and let live. But then, my next thought is "But it's NOT working for them! They're just delusional!". Agh!

[LivingLife]

If it's working for them, then why should I care? Live and let live. But then, my next thought is "But it's NOT working for them! They're just delusional!". Agh!

 

I hear you. IMO folk that diss xianity and go for something else as I succinctly put it, exchange one woo for another.

 

At least these folk do not live in wooistan and they don't seem to be wooish. They sure are not like trying to woo you into anything.

 

Probably this is the only place they share their stuff and probably what you see is the church aspect in this. I never felt the need to go for something else as my loss of woo once was enough. It is pretty hard to subscribe to this if you rationalise everything like we do.

 

As has been said relax and give it time if it means that you get to develop new relationships. Being a country hick, not by choice, this stuff is only in the cities here unless folk do it at homes and again it is mainly a girl thing if so.

[Positivist]

I think the sticky part is knowing how to interact with people who's worldview is informed by their belief in something like that.

~~~

So it just makes it tempting for me to avoid people who think differently. But I don't really want to be like that. I mean, I don't care if these women want to live the way they do. If it's working for them, then why should I care? Live and let live. But then, my next thought is "But it's NOT working for them! They're just delusional!". Agh!

Maybe it's just part of your growth stage. Coming out of lifelong Christianity, where everyone has a cookie cutter belief system, we have to learn how to have/be friends all over again. At least I did. I am trying to put myself out there so I can reclaim this part of my personhood. I attended a neighbor's party and they are HUGE into woo. We brought our djembe and vegetarian dishes. We got there and within 30 seconds I am greeted by two neo-hippies asking me what my astrological sign is. They were serious! LOL! So I told them and they prattled on about who I should talk to at the party and made guesses about me. Anyhow, they started a drum circle. People were smoking weed (not me!), dancing, and everyone else (12 of us) were drumming on everything from djembes to tupperware. And you know what? I have never felt so human in my entire life!

 

I admit I'm scared off by the Christian experiences of my past. I don't hang out regularly with woo*-type people, but the odd reference is OK. When people want to talk about woo*, I let them talk and I ask them questions (as a hardcore positivist myself). Often, when you scratch the surface, they admit that it might all be in their heads. You may find that oftentimes, people are not nearly as wedded to their ideas as fundagelical believers are. I think that makes a lot of difference!

 

*I didn't know woo was a bad word either, Florduh!

[Chikirin]

I went to yoga 3 or 4 times. At the end of one session they put on this music that sounded just like praise&worship music, except they were saying "Yo Guhh..." instead of "Jee-sus..."

[2Honest]

Maybe it's just part of your growth stage. Coming out of lifelong Christianity, where everyone has a cookie cutter belief system, we have to learn how to have/be friends all over again. At least I did. I am trying to put myself out there so I can reclaim this part of my personhood.

 

You are right. I want to be an open and accepting person and give myself the freedom to have a variety of experiences. And I DO need to learn how to be friends with different types of people. That's one thing that Ex-C has really helped me with, but I need "real-life" experience.

 

I attended a neighbor's party and they are HUGE into woo. We brought our djembe and vegetarian dishes. We got there and within 30 seconds I am greeted by two neo-hippies asking me what my astrological sign is. They were serious! LOL! So I told them and they prattled on about who I should talk to at the party and made guesses about me. Anyhow, they started a drum circle. People were smoking weed (not me!), dancing, and everyone else (12 of us) were drumming on everything from djembes to tupperware. And you know what? I have never felt so human in my entire life!

 

Love this story! "I have never felt so human in my entire life!" That really speaks to me. I think there is some growth that needs to happen in me - a new level of acceptance and love for people, maybe? And also the ability to trust myself and know I can be part of a group and still be my own person.

 

The truth is, I am an artsy/creative person myself and as a Christian I felt like I thrived on the creative aspects of our version of woo*. I learned a dance form that incorporated staffs that was actually really cool. We'd gather as a group and do free-form dance "in the spirit" and I absolutely loved it. Those are things that I miss about my spiritual days. So maybe there's a way for me to embrace the parts of this group that I connect with and just leave the rest? That seems do-able at this moment, but I know it would be difficult for me.

 

*If anyone has a better term for this, please tell me!

[Positivist]

I attended a neighbor's party and they are HUGE into woo. We brought our djembe and vegetarian dishes. We got there and within 30 seconds I am greeted by two neo-hippies asking me what my astrological sign is. They were serious! LOL! So I told them and they prattled on about who I should talk to at the party and made guesses about me. Anyhow, they started a drum circle. People were smoking weed (not me!), dancing, and everyone else (12 of us) were drumming on everything from djembes to tupperware. And you know what? I have never felt so human in my entire life!

Love this story! "I have never felt so human in my entire life!" That really speaks to me. I think there is some growth that needs to happen in me - a new level of acceptance and love for people, maybe? And also the ability to trust myself and know I can be part of a group and still be my own person.

 

The truth is, I am an artsy/creative person myself and as a Christian I felt like I thrived on the creative aspects of our version of woo*. I learned a dance form that incorporated staffs that was actually really cool. We'd gather as a group and do free-form dance "in the spirit" and I absolutely loved it. Those are things that I miss about my spiritual days. So maybe there's a way for me to embrace the parts of this group that I connect with and just leave the rest? That seems do-able at this moment, but I know it would be difficult for me.

 

*If anyone has a better term for this, please tell me!

Really, I think it's just a matter of getting out there. Hosting a neighborhood BBQ, joining your neighborhood/community association or another interest group, taking classes for fun (art related), or starting/joining a dinner club. We had the wickedest dinner club while we were still coming out of fundamentalism. They were people from work and their spouses. It was so much fun and the humanity of it was incredible. Not to mention the food! (My S-I-L found out about our club and didn't realize it was all heathens. She's like, "Oh, after dinner you could go and minister at the jail!" I was like, "Ummmmmm....it's not really that type of group...."). I have friends who meditate together at their home, and I've been invited but now they know I'm a recovering fundy who is afraid of woo, and they're OK with that.

 

Revel in your humanity, 2H. Enjoy the company of others because people are good (or at least interesting ) and because life is hard (and interesting).

 

It gets so much better!!!!!!!!!!

[jblueep]

Unless I read these people wrong, I think you can be honest about your "fear" of woo, and they won't reject you. Maybe that's the whole point of this experience for you...to assert what you think without rejection or reprisal.

[lunaticheathen]

At my (state magnet) boarding school, the head of residential life (dorm principle, essentially) thought yoga was a "cult", and didn't want cult activity on campus. Shit you not.

 

"New Age", or assorted amorphous pagan people can come off (and sometimes be) majorly flaky and "woo-woo", but they generally don't blast you with curses for not believing what they do.

 

Just be yourself, and if personality conflicts come up, such is life and people are strange.

[Guest Valk0010]

Unless I read these people wrong, I think you can be honest about your "fear" of woo, and they won't reject you. Maybe that's the whole point of this experience for you...to assert what you think without rejection or reprisal.

Is it just me or is it cute, that a husband responds to his wife thread on a website and they live together. heh

[jblueep]

Unless I read these people wrong, I think you can be honest about your "fear" of woo, and they won't reject you. Maybe that's the whole point of this experience for you...to assert what you think without rejection or reprisal.

Is it just me or is it cute, that a husband responds to his wife thread on a website and they live together. heh

 

I'm all about the cute

[Peace]

I think if there are other things you like about this group and experience and the majority of their conversations and interactions around centered around the w** then it might be helpful to just say "Oh I'm not into that kind of thing." or something similar. It might be that you just need others to understand where you are coming. I know I would feel that way and do feel that way since I am only in the process of leaving behind another group of people's preconceived notions about who I am and where I'm headed.

 

I attend yoga in a class with very little w** and enjoy it so much. There is a meditation center not far from my house and I've considered trying out some of their 'classes' just for the experience of connecting to other people and trying something new. I'm hoping they are open minded enough to let people just be where they are.

[owen652]

Wow, I am so struggling with this myself atm. As I speak my wife is out getting a 'reading' done at the local woo store. I so want to shake her and scream 'it's all horseshit, cant you see?' Obviously i'm not gonna do that, and she seems to need this at this point of her life (she left church same time as me). Very difficult to hold my tongue tho. As I explained in another thread, this has been exacerbated by the fact that she had a very strong physical reaction to a crystal, and although she protests otherwise, I think this has been the clincher for her. I really want to be open minded and non-judgmental, (i've been thinking bout doing yoga myself, and I believe there are real benefits to meditation) but I find it difficult when there is momey changing hands and the possibility of people being taken advantage of for their vulnerability. Obviously thats not the case for you, just sayin.

[2Honest]

Unless I read these people wrong, I think you can be honest about your "fear" of woo, and they won't reject you. Maybe that's the whole point of this experience for you...to assert what you think without rejection or reprisal.

Is it just me or is it cute, that a husband responds to his wife thread on a website and they live together. heh

 

I'm really glad you think it's cute! I figured people would be really annoyed by it so I try not to do it too much. (If any of you are annoyed - just keep it to yourself! haha)

[blackpudd1n]

I've spent a week on a hindu retreat, where they did all of this stuff. I just didn't do any of it, but I had a fabulous time. The owner was an eccentric german man, and cooked the most amazing Indian meal for me one night, and we had such interesting discussions. I have found that the people into this sort of new-age stuff are a lot more accepting of different points of view. And I've had some very interesting conversations with them. A lot see it as a personal journey, anyway- it's not exactly one-size-fits-all, and they still manage to get along even though they have different ideas.

[♦ ficino ♦]

Hi Agord, hope things are going better.

[ConureDelSol]

I'm a little worried about this myself. I finally found a Buddhist meditation group near me but they meet in a Unitarian Universalist church. I can't help but wonder if they go to church services as well. From what I've heard, Unitarians can be quite wooish.