Jesus Calms A Storm -- Wtf!

[amateur]

In the NT, there is a very short story about the disciples getting in a boat with Jesus, and Jesus falls asleep, then a big storm comes up, swamping the boat and scaring the disciples, who wake up Jesus who says, "Chill, guys.  I'll take care of this."  Then he calms the storm and the disciples are amazed.

 

WAIT ONE MINUTE!!!!  The disciples were men.  I don't know their ages.  Does anybody know their ages?  But they would have had to be between late teens and 60.  And what were a lot of the disciples before they followed Jesus around?  YES, THEY WERE FISHERMEN.  Now come on, people.  I do not know of a group of men who would admit to being "scared" to each other.  I just don't.  Men might FEEL scared, but they don't panic around each other and act scared and say they're scared and say, "Let's wake up the one sleeping guy because we are SO SCARED and we need help."  Men very rarely ACT scared, and probably close to never ACT scared when they are in a group of men.  Men very rarely ASK FOR HELP, especially in a group of men.  They were MEN who would have DONE SOMETHING, not just STOOD AROUND and ACTED SCARED and WOKE UP someone to HELP THEM.  And the biggie:  THESE MEN WERE PROFESSIONAL FISHERMEN, PROBABLY SONS AND GRANDSONS OF FISHERMEN.  Hello.  These men were PROFESSIONALS OF THE SEA.  These men had dealt daily with the vagaries of weather and wind and storms.  They would have grown up with grandfathers and fathers who spoke of harrowing storms and weather while out fishing, and what they did to overcome it, and how they won against the elements.  They were men who would have heard stories THEIR ENTIRE LIVES about storms at sea and how to overcome them.  They were men who would have spent their adult lives (til meeting Jesus) battling those elements every flipping day.

 

Why would professional fishermen, who had grown up in families of professional fisherman, be afraid of a storm that swamped a boat?  Why would men, strong red-blooded tough men who indeed had battled the elements daily in dangerous situations, suddenly forget everything they had ever known, indeed forget they had TESTOSTERONE, and as a group declare their fear to the one sleeping guy?

 

Any group of men I know in this life (and most men I know aren't out battling the elements every day to make a living, we're talking more like office workers) would NEVER admit to being afraid in that situation.  They would try (and maybe fail, but they would TRY) to get the boat to the other side, WITHOUT WAKING JESUS UP, because then, when they did get to the other side, they could crow, "YOU SLEPT THROUGH EVERYTHING, JESUS!!!  YOU'RE BUYING THE DRINKS BECAUSE YOU SLEPT THROUGH EVERYTHING AND WE SAVED YOUR SLEEPING ASS!!!"  And they would tell the story for years, embellishing the storm more and more, about how they got the boat safely through a horrible storm while their buddy, ol' Jesus, SLEPT through the whole thing!

 

Whoever came up with this story was just plain old stupid.  It's a stupid story.

 

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

 

[◊ crazyguy123 ◊]

Maybe the storm was worse than any storm humans had ever encountered before or since. It could have been so terrible that only Yahweh could have sent it. Maybe, just for giggles, Yahweh also sent a spirit of fear into them, so he could laugh at them as they screamed and cried like little girls, trying to wake up Jesus.

 

You've got to use your imagination, amateur!

 

[/sarcasm]

[amateur]

^^^Ha ha!  I also thought maybe, just maybe, god changed the disciples from big, strong fishermen, to scared, little wusses, running around, flapping their hands and screeching, "What should we do?  What should we do?"  And THAT was the miracle!!!

 

Now THAT would be a fun sermon to listen to!

 

 [/more sarcasm]

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Amateur, your insight absolutely terrifies me... wait, did I say that publicly?  Oh, shit...

[amateur]

Amateur, your insight absolutely terrifies me... wait, did I say that publicly?  Oh, shit...

Yes, you said it publicly.  I am feeling very proud of myself right now!  Crap, that's a sin, right?  

 

Actually, I've just spent a lot of time with guys.  Guys that DID STUFF during emergencies.  Yeah, they sunk a lot of boats because they didn't know what they were doing!  But guys DO STUFF and they never admit they DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING and that they are SCARED.

 

I like guys!

[Ravenstar]

I grew up on the coast - about 4 blocks from a marina, I've known a lot of fishermen (not in a biblical sense lol)

 

They are a tough lot. They also know NOT to go out when a storm is brewing.

 

Jesus found the dumbest fishermen in history.  

[sdelsolray]

Poor fiction remains poor fiction.

[chrisstavrous]

It was the perfect storm.

[Gamecock1973]

Not to mention that the "sea" of Galilee is a LAKE!  It's not like they were in the open water of the Atlantic or something.

[midniterider]

In the NT, there is a very short story about the disciples getting in a boat with Jesus, and Jesus falls asleep, then a big storm comes up, swamping the boat and scaring the disciples, who wake up Jesus who says, "Chill, guys.  I'll take care of this."  Then he calms the storm and the disciples are amazed.

 

WAIT ONE MINUTE!!!!  The disciples were men.  I don't know their ages.  Does anybody know their ages?  But they would have had to be between late teens and 60.  And what were a lot of the disciples before they followed Jesus around?  YES, THEY WERE FISHERMEN.  Now come on, people.  I do not know of a group of men who would admit to being "scared" to each other.  I just don't.  Men might FEEL scared, but they don't panic around each other and act scared and say they're scared and say, "Let's wake up the one sleeping guy because we are SO SCARED and we need help."  Men very rarely ACT scared, and probably close to never ACT scared when they are in a group of men.  Men very rarely ASK FOR HELP, especially in a group of men.  They were MEN who would have DONE SOMETHING, not just STOOD AROUND and ACTED SCARED and WOKE UP someone to HELP THEM.  And the biggie:  THESE MEN WERE PROFESSIONAL FISHERMEN, PROBABLY SONS AND GRANDSONS OF FISHERMEN.  Hello.  These men were PROFESSIONALS OF THE SEA.  These men had dealt daily with the vagaries of weather and wind and storms.  They would have grown up with grandfathers and fathers who spoke of harrowing storms and weather while out fishing, and what they did to overcome it, and how they won against the elements.  They were men who would have heard stories THEIR ENTIRE LIVES about storms at sea and how to overcome them.  They were men who would have spent their adult lives (til meeting Jesus) battling those elements every flipping day.

 

Why would professional fishermen, who had grown up in families of professional fisherman, be afraid of a storm that swamped a boat?  Why would men, strong red-blooded tough men who indeed had battled the elements daily in dangerous situations, suddenly forget everything they had ever known, indeed forget they had TESTOSTERONE, and as a group declare their fear to the one sleeping guy?

 

Any group of men I know in this life (and most men I know aren't out battling the elements every day to make a living, we're talking more like office workers) would NEVER admit to being afraid in that situation.  They would try (and maybe fail, but they would TRY) to get the boat to the other side, WITHOUT WAKING JESUS UP, because then, when they did get to the other side, they could crow, "YOU SLEPT THROUGH EVERYTHING, JESUS!!!  YOU'RE BUYING THE DRINKS BECAUSE YOU SLEPT THROUGH EVERYTHING AND WE SAVED YOUR SLEEPING ASS!!!"  And they would tell the story for years, embellishing the storm more and more, about how they got the boat safely through a horrible storm while their buddy, ol' Jesus, SLEPT through the whole thing!

 

Whoever came up with this story was just plain old stupid.  It's a stupid story.

 

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

 

The fishermen asked the carpenter to save them. Hmmm.

[midniterider]

In the NT, there is a very short story about the disciples getting in a boat with Jesus, and Jesus falls asleep, then a big storm comes up, swamping the boat and scaring the disciples, who wake up Jesus who says, "Chill, guys.  I'll take care of this."  Then he calms the storm and the disciples are amazed.

 

WAIT ONE MINUTE!!!!  The disciples were men.  I don't know their ages.  Does anybody know their ages?  But they would have had to be between late teens and 60.  And what were a lot of the disciples before they followed Jesus around?  YES, THEY WERE FISHERMEN.  Now come on, people.  I do not know of a group of men who would admit to being "scared" to each other.  I just don't.  Men might FEEL scared, but they don't panic around each other and act scared and say they're scared and say, "Let's wake up the one sleeping guy because we are SO SCARED and we need help."  Men very rarely ACT scared, and probably close to never ACT scared when they are in a group of men.  Men very rarely ASK FOR HELP, especially in a group of men.  They were MEN who would have DONE SOMETHING, not just STOOD AROUND and ACTED SCARED and WOKE UP someone to HELP THEM.  And the biggie:  THESE MEN WERE PROFESSIONAL FISHERMEN, PROBABLY SONS AND GRANDSONS OF FISHERMEN.  Hello.  These men were PROFESSIONALS OF THE SEA.  These men had dealt daily with the vagaries of weather and wind and storms.  They would have grown up with grandfathers and fathers who spoke of harrowing storms and weather while out fishing, and what they did to overcome it, and how they won against the elements.  They were men who would have heard stories THEIR ENTIRE LIVES about storms at sea and how to overcome them.  They were men who would have spent their adult lives (til meeting Jesus) battling those elements every flipping day.

 

Why would professional fishermen, who had grown up in families of professional fisherman, be afraid of a storm that swamped a boat?  Why would men, strong red-blooded tough men who indeed had battled the elements daily in dangerous situations, suddenly forget everything they had ever known, indeed forget they had TESTOSTERONE, and as a group declare their fear to the one sleeping guy?

 

Any group of men I know in this life (and most men I know aren't out battling the elements every day to make a living, we're talking more like office workers) would NEVER admit to being afraid in that situation.  They would try (and maybe fail, but they would TRY) to get the boat to the other side, WITHOUT WAKING JESUS UP, because then, when they did get to the other side, they could crow, "YOU SLEPT THROUGH EVERYTHING, JESUS!!!  YOU'RE BUYING THE DRINKS BECAUSE YOU SLEPT THROUGH EVERYTHING AND WE SAVED YOUR SLEEPING ASS!!!"  And they would tell the story for years, embellishing the storm more and more, about how they got the boat safely through a horrible storm while their buddy, ol' Jesus, SLEPT through the whole thing!

 

Whoever came up with this story was just plain old stupid.  It's a stupid story.

 

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

 

This story is about as likely as hearing "Yeah dude, I totally lost that fight. " :-)

[Bhim]

This is somewhat related to Amateur's comments in post #5, although maybe it deserves its own thread.

 

One thing that always made me feel uncomfortable about evangelical Christianity was that it seemed to be a highly effeminate religion.  Most contemporary Christian music is, for lack of a better term, girly.  It makes regular references to the worshipers feeling of love, gratitude, and affection for Jesus.  Jesus, likewise, is portrayed as every bit the feminine savior that artists have shown him to be for centuries.  And I don't think this is a distortion of fact (to the extent that there are any "facts" about Jesus), since in the Bible he likewise makes references to himself as a meek individual and a mother hen.

 

At my former church there were numerous ministries for single and married women.  Men's ministries, on the other hand, were focused on teaching men to serve their wives, families, etc.  Likely, this church recognized that the high divorce rate among evangelicals was indicative of the impotence of faith in Jesus to alter a person's life, and sought to stem this tide.  I was single then, and I felt that participation in these sorts of ministries was rather emasculating.  Why were these people trying to turn me into a family man when I wasn't even married?

 

In general, I feel that evangelical churches cater not just to women, but to a very specific category of women: namely those who either are or wish to be stay-at-home wives and mothers.  Now, I'm not even trying to address issues of women's equality or gender roles.  Rather my point is more fundamental: I am not a woman!  Nor do I wish to be.  At times I wondered what the hell I was doing in a religion that forces men to sing songs fit for schoolgirls and compels us to express emotions that are traditionally not associated with masculinity.  For a religion that regards male effeminacy as a sin, evangelical Christianity doesn't do much to create manly men.

 

Did anyone else get the feeling as a Christian that they were expected to be weak and docile?  Perhaps like the disciples in the boat?

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Bhim, you've just introduced strange thoughts into my mind about the title "son of man."

[pawn]

I feel like "more of a man" since rejecting christianity and embracing a naturalistic worldview. I now see myself as simply a prime age male human, who has successfully mated and reproduced and brings home my kill to the family.... A MANLY MAN.

 

No more Christian pacifist, effeminate preaching in my head.

[Bhim]

No more Christian pacifist, effeminate preaching in my head.

It's interesting, isn't it, that Christianity teaches so much male pacifism in daily life while simultaneously advocating for political activism with an aggressive foreign policy? And it's not just this. Christian men are likewise encouraged to sexually please their wives and watch football games with "the guys." It's almost as if evangelicals try to make token apeasements to masculinity to excuse the fact that the men are asked to sing "Open the Eyes of my Heart" and other feminine songs every Sunday.

[slave2six]

Realy? Why is anyone surprised? What are fishermen best at? Telling fish stories.

[amateur]

I agree that church is very often skewed towards a female, pacifist agenda.  I suppose that's to keep the leaders in control and the congregation stays the sheep?

 

It does seem in direct contrast to the OT, which reeks of testosterone.  "I AM MAD AT YOU!" yells god, then he destroys an entire town.  Or the world.

 

Then the NT is all "turn the other cheek" and "cut off your own hand."  What happened to the testosterone?  What happened to the god who DIDN'T TAKE SHIT?

 

I agree with Bhim on his points.  Men singing the "girlier" songs in church always looked weird to me.  And church is very much geared toward traditional married couples with the man working and woman at home.  When we got divorced, we were ignored, I think mainly because no one knew what to do with us as opposed to rudeness.  We no longer fit the mold.

 

I feel like "more of a man" since rejecting christianity and embracing a naturalistic worldview. I now see myself as simply a prime age male human, who has successfully mated and reproduced and brings home my kill to the family.... A MANLY MAN.

No more Christian pacifist, effeminate preaching in my head.

Pawn, you go and drag those mastadons home for the wife and kids!  You made me laugh!  

[pawn]

I feel like "more of a man" since rejecting christianity and embracing a naturalistic worldview. I now see myself as simply a prime age male human, who has successfully mated and reproduced and brings home my kill to the family.... A MANLY MAN.

 

No more Christian pacifist, effeminate preaching in my head.

Pawn, you go and drag those mastadons home for the wife and kids!  You made me laugh!  

 

Well today, I brought home Thai food and a bottle of Riesling....but it was about as dramatic as bringing home a Mastadon, since my wife was exhausted from caring for the kids all day, and she didn't have to cook.  I am man, I bring good food. 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

You know, I had never really thought about it, but I think this may have been one of the subconscious reasons I left the church.  Growing up on a farm and being around farming most of my life turned me into the quintessential "man"; and I think on a much deeper level I never really could deal with such things as:

 

Here I am waiting.

Abide in me I pray.

Here I am longing, for you.

Hide me in your love;

Bring me to my knees.

May I know jesus more and more.

 

Come live in me and all my life, take over.

Come breathe in me and I will rise

On eagle's wings.

 

god! I just puked on my laptop.  Sorry I need to clean this up.  Won't take but a moment...

[amateur]

And let's not forget meek and mild Jesus being led publically into bondage and torture at the hands of the soldiers.  The nails penetrating his wrists and ankles.  The sword thrusting deep into his side.

 

If that's not homo-erotic masochistic imagery, I don't know what is.

 

And the xians claim that homosexuality is an abomination.  Yeah, right.

 

 

PS  Redneck Professor:  give me ten minutes and I'll bring you to your knees!  Pawn:  And you can bring the food!

[Margee]

......you must remember that these same fishermen are also the ones who fell asleep on our savior the night  before he was to be crucified.

 

How in the hell did jesus pick such a fearful, lazy bunch??

 

 

[bdp]

I'm 50 and single, and never really had a true relationship with a woman.  This thread is really making me think about why I haven't been able to be successful in that arena.

 

It's also making me think that the hottest women on the 'net are right here at ex-C.

[amateur]

OMG, Margee, you're right!  The disciples did fall asleep on Jesus the night before the crucifixion!  All of them!

 

And Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss.  Really.  He could've picked anything.

 

I second the face-palming Jesus.

 

bdp:  We are definitely the hottest women ever!

[pawn]

Ex-christian.net...

Where the men are men, and the women are women.  And some are transexual, and some are gay, and its all OK!

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Amateur, WOW!