Dropped in to say Hi - and Thank You

[Insightful]

Hello Ex-C community!   I was active on the site back in the 2015-2017 range.  I still see some familiar names here and that is awesome.

 

I spent some time reading through the posts and discussions I was privileged to be a part of - and I was very moved by all of the love and support I received through such a confusing, at-times-painful, and formative time in my life.  Looking back, I don't think I fully appreciated the depth of support and meaning this community provided me when my change of faith left me with almost no one I could confide in or be authentic with.  Thanks also to the webmasters for preserving the many years of posts and discussions.

 

I hope you are all well.

 

Best,

Insightful

 

 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Good to see you again, Insightful.  I miss seeing your little light bulb icon on my feed.  Don't be a stranger. 

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

Good morning @Insightful

 

Its nice to see you again. It seems like I remember seeing posts of yours back when I first came here. Those first few years are some rough years. How have you been doing since then?

 

DB

[Insightful]

Thanks guys!  I'm doing mostly pretty well.  Covid had a silver lining for my family in that we stopped going to church (I went along for my wife).  Interestingly my wife has not asked to return and I'm so glad.  She doesn't speak much about where her faith is at but it seems like she's at least no longer fundamentalist... probably a fairly liberal Christian at most.  (Reminder: my devconversion nearly sank us).

 

My oldest daughter (16) is battling mental illness (a personality disorder) likely from her orphanage time before we adopted her but also I imagine from our jacked up Christian parenting for the first few years we had her.

 

What brought me back to ex-c was the recent thoughts and anxieties I've been having about death.  During my devconversion I came to terms *theoretically* with the strong likelihood of no afterlife.  But it only recently hit me *actually*.  Like my brain let me consider the harsh reality that I will one day *not be*.

And I don't like the thought...  not that I can change it.  I guess I'm trying to make peace with the actuality of my definite mortality.

 

I think that being a Christian for so long trained me to think that I had all eternity to live and now I'm like oh crap this is all going to actually end!  It would have been better to always know that from earlier on in life so that it wouldn't mess with me so much now...  

 

How are you two?

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

1 hour ago, Insightful said:

probably a fairly liberal Christian at most.  (Reminder: my devconversion nearly sank us).

 

I get it. My deconversion did sink me n my wife. ....... Ex wife. But we still live together in a state of perpetual relationship limbo. She has gone in and out of church since I deconverted. Like you, she stopped going for awhile during covid and things got better. Now she is going regular again and getting "closer to God", so we are having problems again. Its a constant roller coaster. To bad God isn't answering any prayers to bring me back to the fold....... oh well. Guess he doesn't like me.  

 

1 hour ago, Insightful said:

What brought me back to ex-c was the recent thoughts and anxieties I've been having about death.  During my devconversion I came to terms *theoretically* with the strong likelihood of no afterlife.  But it only recently hit me *actually*.  Like my brain let me consider the harsh reality that I will one day *not be*.

And I don't like the thought...  not that I can change it.  I guess I'm trying to make peace with the actuality of my definite mortality.

 

For me, I'm non-theist/agnostic so I still do hope for something. But as the old saying goes. "Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst." So I've made out plans for my final remains and I find peace in knowing that half of my cremated remains will be scattered atop the mountains in my area here in GA. I've always loved them and in death will become a part of them. 

 

The other half will be entombed with the cremated remains of my Dog's. Separate urns of course. 

 

So in death I will become a mountain and will be with all my Furry little friends. 

 

Also anyone can have peace in knowing that in many ways we do live on. Not physically of course. But in the minds of those left behind. Your influence in this life will last for eternity. There are things that you have done and said on this earth that have influenced others. And they will pass those influences on down the line in some capacity as long as humans exist. In that respect. We all live forever. 

 

All we can really do is make the best of this small window of life we have and live life to its fullest. As much as possible anyway. Don't focus to much on the unknown after this life. Just live. Thats all we can do. 

 

Best Regards,

 

Dark Bishop 

[TABA]

Hey @Insightful, count me as another one who is delighted to hear from you again!  I always enjoyed your contributions back in the day.  
 

Leaving Christianity does involve and even require a different way of looking at various aspects of life, no doubt.   Christianity dominated much of the world for so long that it came to seem as if answers to many of life’s questions could only be found in Jesus and in a theistic approach.  But that’s far from true.  Long before Christianity arose, human beings developed ideas and ways of living that are now again, thankfully, being rediscovered.  Greek and Roman philosophies like Stoicism and Epicureanism are undergoing a revival and they have much to teach us.  By the way, both philosophies were stereotyped - probably by Christians - as something much less sophisticated and appealing than they actually are.  
 

Writer Haris Dimitriadis has written several books promoting Epicureanism, including this one that focuses on coming to terms with and even embracing our mortality.  I’d recommend it to every ex-Christian whether they are atheist, agnostic or whatever.  You won’t find a better way to spend $2.99, I promise you!

 
https://www.amazon.com/DEATH-NOTHING-FEAR-Philosophy-Epicurus-ebook/dp/B07WRGSZ2D/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=BJTTMPK6A0RX&keywords=death+is+nothing+to+fear&qid=1676206841&sprefix=death+is+nothing+to+fear%2Caps%2C149&sr=8-1

 

 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

You see

My friend

Life may not necessarily be fair

But death treats all people the same

 

For in death there is neither rich nor poor

Neither strong nor weak

Neither great nor small

Death welcomes all into the equality of eternal silence

 

A mother dies giving birth

Death neither mourns the loss

Nor rejoices in the life anew

For death knows that both are fated to join him

When their time comes

 

Two soldiers die upon the field of battle

Death cares not for which side they fought

Nor how just they believed their cause

 

Death merely comes to collect his due in the stillness of the hour

And both the proud and the meek are brought low and humbled

As they gaze upon that far distant shore

Where we shall all meet

By and by

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

 @TheRedneckProfessor Thats pretty Good. Is that your own?

[TheRedneckProfessor]

42 minutes ago, DarkBishop said:

 @TheRedneckProfessor Thats pretty Good. Is that your own?

It is; but you're welcome to take it with you, if you have a use for it.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

7 hours ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

It is; but you're welcome to take it with you, if you have a use for it.

 

Thanks!  That is worth copying.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

I came after you left, but welcome back!  

 

I am 81 and getting close to winters door, and have mixed feelings about death.  Several experiences in life have tempered my anxiety about death.  One thing I believe is that humor can help.  It occured to me that there are some relatives I DO NOT want to spend eternity with.  And living in palaces and walking on gold streets is not my thing.  And if it is going to be like church services, singing the same songs over and over, with boring sermons every day, I don;t want to go.  

 

On a serious note, I know it is not real death, but I have known people who had near death experiences and each one said they were no longer afraid of death, and not all were christians.  And I watched my mother and grandfather die of old age, and both were ready "to go".  My Grandfather even wanted to get out of life several days before he actually died.  He wasn't in any pain---just tired of living.  Ha!  And there are days when dealing with the complexitites of old age and health problems, I am begining to understand.    

 

I have told the people here on the site, if I go before they do, and if there is anything on the other side of deaths veil, I will come back and tell them.  So stay tuned!

[TheRedneckProfessor]

1 hour ago, Weezer said:

 

Thanks!  That is worth copying.

I helped.

 

 

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

10 hours ago, TheRedneckProfessor said:

It is; but you're welcome to take it with you, if you have a use for it.

If I do use it I'll give credit to ya. It is really good! Thanks for sharing that

 

[Insightful]

Thank you, guys!  TABA - so glad you're still around

 

And thank you, Weezer, for your perspective on death.  I have read that we tend to fear death less in our senior years - it's comforting to know that's been true for you.  You made me think of something funny I read the other day:  "Dear Conservative Christians:  Getting to spend eternity with you people is not the selling point that you think it is!"