I Don't Like Christmas...

[Vendredie]

Xmas hasn't been the same for me since 2006. Really anymore it's just my mom's anxiety attacks and presents. It used to be a fairly religious affair too....

 

I don't hate Xmas though. I like the decorations and the (oddly enough, religious) music. I'm jsut sick of the constant "war on Christmas" bickering about whose holiday it *really* is. It's CHRISTmas, so obviously it belongs to the Christians... even if the birthday of the guy they worship was realyl in March. I actually like Christmas still. I don't celebrate Jesus but I do celebrate family and winter and no school for two weeks.

 

And the presents...

 

This year it's actually been easier to ignore, Probably because rampant capitalism isn't, well, rampant this year, so a lot of the true meaning* of Christmas is gone...

 

 

 

 

 

*It isn't the true meaning to me, but it is to everyone else, it seems...

[Guest Net Eng]

Don't you guys just hate the sickly sentimentality of Christians this time of year.

 

Tacked on the wall at work is a poem with begins:

 

"If you look for me at Christmas,

You won't need a special star,

I'm no longer just in Bethlehem,

I'm right there where you are,

 

( remainder deleted for the sake of your sanity)

 

Love,

 

Jesus

 

Makes you want to puke, doesn't it?

 

... I just did

 

Since my wife and I deconverted the stress level in the house is nil (so good news there). However, the general nastiness I see in the stores increase. So many people have this Norman Rockwell image of how the holidays should be. That causes stress and stress causes nasty behavior.

 

I'm with Par. Let's go straight from turkey to booze if people can't get over this xmas stuff.

[pitchu]

Since the years of my impoverished childhood I've detested this season on behalf of all penniless kids and their parents (who are becoming more numerous every year).

 

When I was eight I broke into a neighbor's storage shed to steal items to give as gifts to my siblings and my parents. Then I had to tell some whopper of a lie and live with the suspicious sidelong glances.

 

No kid... ever... should be made, by the dictates of a sick society, to feel s/he has no choice but to steal and lie in order to be a part of relentless and pervasive Merry-Fuckin'-Christmas!

[pitchu]

Hey!

 

I apologize. My damper of a previous post seems to have put a damper on the dampering proceedings.

 

Unintended consequences.

 

As the dreadful date draws near, we need the hate speech more than ever, now.

 

Please resume bah-humbug Grinch-fest!

[PocketAces]

Xmas has never had any real meaning for me. Even as a Xian it didn't mean much. So we supposedly celebrated Jebus's birth on earth. Big fuckin' deal. What turkeys and trees and gifts had to do with that I have no clue...okay we can make a pile of shit up to make ourselves feel better about it, but we should have stopped kidding ourselves.

 

My family isn't very big and never made a big deal about it. Thus, I never have as well.

 

When I was married it was just a stressful, depressing time for me. It was entirely about giving an insane amount of gifts to the kids. Just spending a shitload of money every year that would take months and months to recover from.

 

It was fun the first few years when the kids were younger and got all excited. After a while though it was just "too much". A few years ago my little girl got so much stuff...I almost felt sick...there was no "specialness" or "meaning" to any of it at all.

 

I feel like I should volunteer for something or other, but I don't know where and I don't want to just do it out of guilty conscience or anything.

 

I honestly wish I had a big family and that Xmas was this memorable time that we got together every year.

 

I just don't know how to celebrate it, I guess. Going to my parent's home for the Xmas week, but it's more for the company than anything. Not really certain how badly I even want to go.

i have never been a holiday type of person. my family was divorced so the idea of being driven to and from turned my liking of the holidays into something i could careless about.

 

then as i got older, it was just a time of year that it always seemed to be depressing. alone half of the time, family lives in different places. but at the same time, i did like in another way even as a kid.

 

my mom was a single mother, and couldn't afford the big presents. she would buy us things that we never asked for, but something she liked, or something she thought i may like. i loved it. every little gift she got meant a lot to me because it was mom's way of trying to make me and my sister feel special. then my dad did it last year.

 

then when i was engaged my ex-fiancee would do what her family does. give candies and she passed her family's tradition to us. our engagemend ended a year ago this month (i can't remember the exact date.) i don't miss her, or the relationship but its still in the back of my head as well as my mother being far away and my father being an hour from me. but i have plans with my dad.

 

what i miss the most is the family giving you things you never asked for, or even thought about ever getting for yourself, but they did it just because they wanted you to feel special. for some reason you began to love those gifts, more so than something you wanted, or something that you'd buy any other day. i try not to think about that its another year being single. i suppose its better than being far away from someone your involved with, but it always did help being with someone, working together on a relationship but what i would really like to have is someone i love and we give each other one big gift, kick back a couple of bottles of wine, and pin up a mistletoe above the bed, then her and i drive and see my father and my step-mother than at the turn of the month take a train and see my mother together.

 

oh well. i still plan on trying to have a good holiday this year. after i spend time with my dad, it'll be spent by myself, kickin back some irish whiskey and watching movies. fuck the Christmas Story, i'll pop in Oceans 11, 12, 13 and fuck Christmas songs. heavy metal will be blaring on the "blessed day".

[PocketAces]

Hey!

 

I apologize. My damper of a previous post seems to have put a damper on the dampering proceedings.

 

Unintended consequences.

 

As the dreadful date draws near, we need the hate speech more than ever, now.

 

Please resume bah-humbug Grinch-fest!

no reason to apologize. i'm not in a bad holiday spirit but if i would take a walk and look into the window of a family enjoying the holiday time, i'd give a slight genuine smile and throw my cigarette butt in their yard.

[PocketAces]

Don't you guys just hate the sickly sentimentality of Christians this time of year.

 

Tacked on the wall at work is a poem with begins:

 

"If you look for me at Christmas,

You won't need a special star,

I'm no longer just in Bethlehem,

I'm right there where you are,

 

( remainder deleted for the sake of your sanity)

 

Love,

 

Jesus

 

Makes you want to puke, doesn't it?

indeed. but since Jesus said he's right here, no wonder i got lost when i tried to follow that star.

[RisingPhoenix]

You know, there are precious few things I like about Christmas. For example, as a kid, I kept wanting to play with the Nativity-scene figurines we parked under the tree. Then again, I liked (and still like) getting the holiday-song lyrics all wrong. I was the kid who, during "Deck The Halls", would sing things like "break a window, pop a tire...set your neighbor's house on fire". My family was also the kind where we had Mary and Joseph as mannequins in our flower-shop window...little did anyone know that "Joseph" had boobs and a fake beard. (Cross-dressing dummies for the win!)

 

I always did hate giving presents, though. Okay, peeps. Here's the deal. You've barely seen these people all year, and now you're supposed to be all nice and act like you fucking know them and give a shit? And how are you supposed to know what they're actually gonna like? One of the best things ever: gift cards. Takes all the guesswork outta shopping.

 

The holiday never really impressed me, overall, and once I figured out about Santa (age--oh, about nine or so) it was really all over. I don't so much hate the holiday with a passion as I just don't care very much about it at all. It's shopping (which I hate) and overeating (which I really don't need) and so much phoniness (mucho hatred here) that I look forward to it only so I can take a day off from work. From what I've seen, the reality of a "White Christmas" is a bunch of stressed-out people who'd rather be chilling out or having a White Russian or getting laid instead of going through the motions year after year. That's what a lot of it is to me--going through the motions: setting up the tree, making some huge dinner, nodding and pretending that you're listening to Grandma when you're really angling for more cranberry sauce. There's supposed to be some kind of warm and fuzzy thing about getting the family all together, but it seems like I missed the memo on that one.

[TheSeeking]

When I found out Santa wasn't real, Christmas ceased to impress me.

 

I mean, what's the point?! I love the lights, decorations, and fires but it just dosn't seem worth it. I hate getting presents. Everyone asks what you want and you have to tell everyone something different when there is nothing you really want in the first place. And then there are the stupid little trinkents given when the person just dosn't give a shit. I hate buying them too. Is it just me, or does it never seem like any one enjoys the holidays? They're too busy going fucking nuts! Trampled at WallMart?!?! I'm glad you all feel this was because I was starting to feel guilty at my lack of enthusiam. =3

[mwc]

Everyone asks what you want and you have to tell everyone something different when there is nothing you really want in the first place. And then there are the stupid little trinkents given when the person just dosn't give a shit.

Top it off with after doing all this you wind up with a bunch of crap you didn't ask for anyhow and a bunch of resentment if you dare think of exchanging their ill-thought out gift ("But it's *better* than what you asked for!"). Blah. Don't ask if you don't give a shit to begin with. I'm not an obligation to be dealt with. Leave me be.

 

mwc

[BiMamaFeminAtheist]

Xmas has never had any real meaning for me. Even as a Xian it didn't mean much. So we supposedly celebrated Jebus's birth on earth. Big fuckin' deal. What turkeys and trees and gifts had to do with that I have no clue...okay we can make a pile of shit up to make ourselves feel better about it, but we should have stopped kidding ourselves.

 

My family isn't very big and never made a big deal about it. Thus, I never have as well.

 

When I was married it was just a stressful, depressing time for me. It was entirely about giving an insane amount of gifts to the kids. Just spending a shitload of money every year that would take months and months to recover from.

 

It was fun the first few years when the kids were younger and got all excited. After a while though it was just "too much". A few years ago my little girl got so much stuff...I almost felt sick...there was no "specialness" or "meaning" to any of it at all.

 

I feel like I should volunteer for something or other, but I don't know where and I don't want to just do it out of guilty conscience or anything.

 

I honestly wish I had a big family and that Xmas was this memorable time that we got together every year.

 

I just don't know how to celebrate it, I guess. Going to my parent's home for the Xmas week, but it's more for the company than anything. Not really certain how badly I even want to go.

See I do have the big family, and this year I'm not seeing them for the holidays. We all live in the same town, so that adds a certain amount of requirement/obligation guilt from their end, but I'm choosing not to let it get to me. I agree that presents are a pain. This year I only bought gifts for my two closest friends in their 20s and two little kids. One of them has her birthday on the 21st so she always gets screwed out of that by the Jebus-day anyway. And my son and I had our xmas last weekend. He and I (he's 3 btw) brought gifts to exchange with my single dad friend and his little boy. My friend didn't have the cash to get his son much this year, so I got gifts for both the boys and he wrapped them up and we told them the presents were from Santa. Santa is a totally new experience for me because I was raised very fundy and wasn't allowed to know about/get gifts from Santa.

 

I guess I'm just figuring out how to do xmas on the small scale. I spent under $100 on all the people I got gifts for, and most of that went to the two kids. I got a set of Andrew Jackson biographies for my single dad friend, because AJ is his hero and we stumbled across the books at this nifty second hand book shop and I knew he'd love them. I really like getting presents for people, but I tend to do it all year and without any special occasion. So I approached xmas the same way this year. I wanted to buy things for my son because I love him and I knew he'd like the things. Also this is our first year out of poverty since he was born, so I enjoyed getting to spoil him a bit. By "opting out" of the larger family event, I was able to avoid buying and receiving tons of presents no one could afford and save myself from the annual panic that is being around so many of the people who mistreated me my whole life. I don't know if any of this applies to you or is helpful, but I have definitely been seeing xmas from a different perspective this year.

 

On the actual 25th my son and I won't exchange gifts (we already did that) and we won't be stuffing ourselves on a feast or trying to navigate complicated family waters. We're driving out to the beach to play in some cold wet sand and chase seagulls. No midnight mass, no big to-do. We have a 3-foot prelit tree so decorating and undecorating will take up less than an hour of my entire holiday season. And part of me feels like I'm getting away with something by not buying into the hype this year, but mostly I just feel a release of major pressure.

[BiMamaFeminAtheist]

Even as a child I took major issue with Santa Claus. Weren't we only supposed to worship ONE god? How does worshiping this guy during Christmas help us remember what Christmas is supposedly about?

 

Hence why I was not told about santa as a child. I found out about him from neighbor kids and got my butt whupped for telling them all he wasn't real lol.

[ixolite]

I have no problem with Christmas. I don't celebrate it, I celebrate winter solstice like my ancestors. So, in my family on Christmas some of us celebrate Christmas and some winter solstice.

 

As a kid/teen I hated the church visits that were connected to Christmas, but since I don't have to go there anymore (no mass for me on 1st of Jan either ), the holidays are much more relaxed. In my family we never bought big presents, so that is no issue with me and only immidiate family get persents from me, other people get "only" some homemade stuff like cookies. That's what I enjoy most about this season, backing and getting to eat special christmas dishes, we only do this time of the year.

 

 

[Insanity personified]

I must be somewhat of an oddball here

 

I don't really mind christmas. I like the food and the weather (yes, I love the cold) but I loathe the rampant consumerism. The blathering over the "war on christmas" from the christian sheeple population doesn't help either.

 

overall, i'm just indifferent to the whole gig. I eat a lot...and that's really it

[Kurari]

I'm probably the lone weirdo in this, but I LOVE Christmas. I couldn't give a shit about Christ, but I actually grew up in an Atheist/Agnostic family so that was never important. This time of year was and is about the basic secular human values of being kind to one another, family, peace, joy, and celebrating what you have. This is something that's really important to me. I can't say I always had joyful Christmases. My family really aren't peaches to be around, and I got caught in the obligatory "Giftmas" crap as well and it was a miserable time.

 

It took me a while to break out of it, but I finally put my foot down and said "Screw it. I'm going to do what I want." I had a very long think about it, and deep down, I still truly enjoy this time of year like I did when I was little so I took with me the things I really enjoyed. I love giving gifts and I love decorating my home. I love Christmas tunes (not the usual stuff you hear in stores), and watching old Cartoon specials on YouTube. I'm usually adopted every year by friends for a big meal so I really don't have to do much.

 

But the point of it is I enjoy doing it. I don't spend it with my family, whom I don't like. I don't go overboard on food or cleaning or partying or hosting. I don't go out of my budget or even out of my means for gifts and I do it early. I only listen to the Christmas songs I like, which are usually obscure. And generally every years it adjusts to how much I feel like doing. I've dropped doing some stuff this year like Christmas Cards. I don't feel like sending them out.

 

This time of year really doesn't belong to anybody. It's been a religious and secular time of celebration for eons. People tend to think of it as "I have to do such and such activity to make it a holiday" so it's really little wonder that people get SO miserable because then it becomes an obligation. When something that is supposed to be fun and life affirming becomes an obligation, then don't bother. Tell your family you hate being around to stuff it and let 'em rant, leave the decorations in the attic, and stay home with a beer and a pizza.

 

If your just doing what makes life worth living to you, then that's all that needs to be done at this time of year, or any time.

[peejay]

Jimmy Buffett's birthday is December 25th, so I just celebrate that. My Christmas tree is full of margarita glasses, parrots, hibiscus flowers, sailboats, etc. Topped off with a beachcomber hat. I don't mind Christmas, but I'm still pretty new to this whole deconversion process. I reserve the right get cynical and pissy later on in life.

 

I have a small daycare so in my mind, Christmas is really for the munchkins anyway. Their little eyes light up when they see the tree. If they were my children, I'd probably change up the teachings to include the evils of consummerism, not being a douchebag while shopping, (yeah I said 'em both), and about giving to the community, helping people out whatever...that being said, it's so cute to hear the little almost two year old say, "PJ...kissmas tree!" Her sense of wonder amazes me. So I'm okay with buying my munchkins some toys and decorating a little. Hell, I'm even baking cookies later.

[jdog]

This thread is funny. I have had a laugh. I can identify with alot of what has been said. I have always got a bit depressed around christmas, and when I became an avid christian, that was it! Jesus was missing! But no.. I still got depressed and weired around the season.

 

This is my first christmas since my melt down deconversion, I have been wondering how I would approach this year, I was a bit apprehensive to what to do. Anyhow I still hate the jingly music in the stores, the tv commercials, the whole happy, oh so jolly everything is wonderful picture that it is painted.

The over spending, the obligation of attending social gatherings. etc.

 

Surprisingly though I am doing ok this year, well it may have to do with the fact I am on anti-depressants. LOL. We still got a tree, because we like the tree, anyhow it has pagan roots and it is the winter solstace right now. I decorated it and it looks so pretty, I love the twinkly lights. I decorated a bit, no sight of a nativity scene, no hint of jesus anywhere. I still sent greeting cards, but not ones with 'jesus is the reason for the season' and ones with bible versed in them, Yup that's what I sent last year. UGH!

 

I bought a turkey because I love my big dinner that I make. food is a great insentive. I still bought a couple of gifts because I was going to buy them anyway during the year. I feel alot more relaxed. I avoid the stores like crazy, if I have to shop, I try and do it early in the morning, there's hardly anyone around. I am playing regular music, no holiday stuff. I have just chosen to do what I want. No pressure.

 

We are actually going to a party New Year's eve, we haven't done that in a very long time. So yey. Totally different approach this year.

[jdog]

I forgot

 

England has the "Bah Humbug" club, members gather at the local pub, it seems to be catching on in other European countries too.

 

My dad sent me a photo of him wearing a 'bah humbug' hat on and he is pulling a grouchy face, too funny.

[Brother Jeff]

I LOVE Christmas! Always have. I have many fond memories of great Christmases when I was a kid - lots of great gifts and time with family members that I loved but rarely got to see. I still loved Christmas when I was poor and could only afford to give crappy gifts like cheap books or cassette tapes. It was still a time to be with loved ones and enjoy great food and great music, etc. I'm not rich by any means now, but what I love about Christmas is giving to family. I can hardly wait for Christmas morning! Except now it's not about what I get. The excitement is about what I am giving! Christmas morning is gonna be AWESOME!! Glory! And yes, I spent a lot of money this year, but that's a part of the fun! The fact that it will take me a few months to recover financially doesn't bother me at all. The joy of giving makes it all worthwhile.

 

It's like the sign in my mom's kitchen says: Attitude is everything... choose a good one.

 

Merry Christmas everybody! Glory!

[ClaraOlive]

Even when I was a Christian, I didn't care for celebrating holidays.

 

What I hate about Christmas now is that my family seems to become 10x more religious on Christmas Eve. I enjoy seeing my family on other occasions, but on Christmas it's like the torture chamber of Jesus.

[jackbauer]

It's a good thing this has been brought up because I'm starting to hate the gift demands too. I never know what to get people and am always afraid of looking like a fool. It's even worse when people want to get me something and I haven't thought of anything to give them. I don't even need, want, or expect anything from them, but here I am obsessing over whether or not I should give them something.

 

I will admit, I like Christmas. Mostly, the movies (home alone!), Christmas songs (though I'm getting tired of them too), decorations, family get togethers, and all that cheesy stuff, but I can understand how for many, Christmas is hell on earth.

[noob]

Jimmy Buffett's birthday is December 25th, so I just celebrate that.

 

Hooray for peejay! I love Jimmy Buffett and I love this idea. By focusing on Buffett’s birthday (which will include plenty of margaritas!) and an already scheduled trip next December, I should be able to slide through the holiday season next year without the usual angst. Why, I’ll even be able to sing “O, Holy Night” with real meaning! I mean… it’s Buffett!!!

[florduh]

Merry Buffettmas, noob!

 

Don we now our flip flops and sunglasses . . .

[R. S. Martin]

See I do have the big family, and this year I'm not seeing them for the holidays. We all live in the same town, so that adds a certain amount of requirement/obligation guilt from their end, but I'm choosing not to let it get to me. I agree that presents are a pain. This year I only bought gifts for my two closest friends in their 20s and two little kids. One of them has her birthday on the 21st so she always gets screwed out of that by the Jebus-day anyway. And my son and I had our xmas last weekend. He and I (he's 3 btw) brought gifts to exchange with my single dad friend and his little boy. My friend didn't have the cash to get his son much this year, so I got gifts for both the boys and he wrapped them up and we told them the presents were from Santa. Santa is a totally new experience for me because I was raised very fundy and wasn't allowed to know about/get gifts from Santa.

 

I guess I'm just figuring out how to do xmas on the small scale. I spent under $100 on all the people I got gifts for, and most of that went to the two kids. I got a set of Andrew Jackson biographies for my single dad friend, because AJ is his hero and we stumbled across the books at this nifty second hand book shop and I knew he'd love them. I really like getting presents for people, but I tend to do it all year and without any special occasion. So I approached xmas the same way this year. I wanted to buy things for my son because I love him and I knew he'd like the things. Also this is our first year out of poverty since he was born, so I enjoyed getting to spoil him a bit. By "opting out" of the larger family event, I was able to avoid buying and receiving tons of presents no one could afford and save myself from the annual panic that is being around so many of the people who mistreated me my whole life. I don't know if any of this applies to you or is helpful, but I have definitely been seeing xmas from a different perspective this year.

 

On the actual 25th my son and I won't exchange gifts (we already did that) and we won't be stuffing ourselves on a feast or trying to navigate complicated family waters. We're driving out to the beach to play in some cold wet sand and chase seagulls. No midnight mass, no big to-do. We have a 3-foot prelit tree so decorating and undecorating will take up less than an hour of my entire holiday season. And part of me feels like I'm getting away with something by not buying into the hype this year, but mostly I just feel a release of major pressure.

 

I love your story. It sounds like you are being you, doing the things that make you happy and the ones that are nearest and dearest to you. I can identify with so much of it, esp. the alienated family. I think many on exC identify with that. Today I did a bit of Christmas shopping. For the first time in years I felt like resurrecting a remnant of old family traditions to celebrate with goodies. Almost I bought myself a plate of fancy dogfood. It looked for all the world like the homemade candies my mother used to make but it was at the end of the petfood aisle. Two older ladies were walking by. I heard one of them say, "Oh, that's dog food."

 

I backed off. Then I realized that they weren't talking to me because they didn't know that I don't have a dog, but that was close! No dead horse flesh for my Christmas this year. I may be poor but not that desperate.

 

I got myself some carmel popcorn and a few other things. It's going to be me, myself, and I. Just like Graphicsguy. And possibly a few others on here who are so at peace with themselves that they don't need the distraction of large groups to celebrate the safety of home in a harsh world.

[noob]

I loved this thread last year! The trip to Key West definitely took the edge off of what I consider a most depressing time of year!

 

Merry Buffettmas to all!!!!!!!!!!!!