The Glad To Be Gay And Lesbian And Bisexual And Trans Thread

[Ameen]

"Sing if you're glad to be gay,

 

Sing if you're happy that way,

 

Hey...!"

 

--from Tom Robinson's 1976 song

 

 

 

So, why this thread?

 

Well...

 

...I hear so many terrible things about homophobia from so many sources...

 

...and even here there are so many links to the terrible things Fundie Christians say about and do to queers...

 

...and according to something pitchu posted this board may be around 25% LGBT (lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender)...

 

...and there are so many cool straight and asexual supporters here...

 

 

I just thought we needed one. (There is no LGBT smiley, so I am going to pretend that that is the Glad to Be Gay Smiley...)

 

 

I hope it hasn't been done before. I tried to check by doing a search for "gay" in thread titles, but since "gay" is only three letters long the board would not let me.

 

 

It doesn't matter if you are straight, asexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, something else, unsure, or unwilling to carry a label. Post something supportive, uplifting, fun, funny, or FIERCE here!

 

 

Here's a couple I had the fortune to walk behind for several blocks in Manhattan (New York City) last year. I don't know them, and I did not want them to see me taking a picture, so I pointed the camera without looking through the lens or using the viewfinder. The picture is not the world's greatest, and I have posted a doctored close-up as well.

 

I post it here because just looking at it makes me happy. They were two young people in love, oblivious to everything else around them, and, single and looking for love, I felt empowered simply walking behind them.

 

 

 

 

Here's my Swedish fantasy from a book on travel in Scandinavia. (In reality, the men you see are Swedish military paratroopers in training, heading to a sauna. I seriously doubt that this is a gay picture, as saunas are an important part of Scandinavian and Finnish cultural life--but that does not spoil my fantasy in the slightest... )

 

 

 

And finally, here are two of DC Comics' newest heroes: Batwoman and The Question. Both are revived versions of very old superheroes in mothballs--and the original Question was a man. The wonderful thing is that the new versions are openly lesbian/bi, and they used to be an item. Too cool!

 

 

[Crazycatlady]

That couple in Manhattan is absolutely beautiful.

 

 

[Neon Genesis]

I'm also glad to be gay and even if it was somehow possible to change your sexuality, I wouldn't change mine when there's no reason to not be gay and I'm happy as I am. Have you ever watched any anime (Japanese animation) Ameen? Many of their series have gay and lesbian characters. One of the first anime series I ever watched was Sailor Moon which has several gay, lesbian, and gender-switching characters in the Japanese version.

[Emme]

Hahahi, that's swedish butts alright!

 

Oops, I posted even though I'm technically straight. But anyway, I'm proud to be the friend of many gay, bi, trans-peeps.

 

The theme for this years Swedish Pride festival is "tema hetero" (theme hetero, duh), focusing on how the hetero norms affect the GBLT persons every day life, and it invites everyone, including the straight jackets, to come along and join. So I'm going too this year! Yay!

[Prysm]

Happily married and straight, but a supporter! Even when I was a sheep I really couldn't grasp why xtians felt they had the right to determine what constitutes a family just because they are the majority. That just pissed me off so much! Why do xtians make such a fuss about anyone outside of their perfect little box adopting kids? I only know one or two kids who have been adopted by xtian families, and usually they send away overseas so they can "reach the poor lost children of the world" rather than taking care of the ones right here. So they don't want to take care of them, they don't want anyone else to take care of them... they'd rather leave them in an institution! That's a horrible way to grow up! It's the same thing with abortion... they want to insist that everyone carry their babies to term then give them up for adoption, but who's going to adopt them? We were burned by the marriage ministry in our church that told me, essentially, that I was an evil feminist for not wanting kids and wanting to adopt if I changed my mind. UGH! Religion of love, right! Gay people can't love each other, gay people can't love kids who need a family, and if you're straight, you'd better reproduce your 2.4 right away.

 

One of the things I love about spending all of my time in the English department at the university is that homosexuality is perfectly acceptable there. I'd guess about 1/3-1/4 of the profs I know well are gay. We had our Thanksgiving party at the house of our graduate program chair and his partner, and it was a lovely evening. Someday the rest of the country will get over it too.

 

Remember the AFA getting worked up over the pepsi ad that supported homosexuality? My husband submitted a commercial for a contest that's sort of like that one in its support of the gay community... it was filmed at a gay bar too. I SO want it to win so that AFA and the xtians can see that their whining isn't changing anything. The sooner they accept the reality of homosexuality, the better. It's just like women's rights and slavery; after being forced to accept the way things are, eventually they'll concede the fight and move on. If you want to show your support that way, you can vote here.

 

At least gay pride is making strides, they're less hated than atheists! That will be the next minority issue to fight!

[Cracked]

[woodsmoke]

And finally, here are two of DC Comics' newest heroes: Batwoman and The Question. Both are revived versions of very old superheroes in mothballs--and the original Question was a man. The wonderful thing is that the new versions are openly lesbian/bi, and they used to be an item. Too cool!

Mmm, Red...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....Wait, what?

[florduh]

I'm old. I'm just glad to get wood for any reason. So far, it's still girls, but you guys have fun with whatever works for you!

[noob]

I don’t spend any time worrying about others sex lives. I’m very much a live and let live kind of person. So far for me it’s just guys! (These days... just old guys.) But… I sure do encounter a lot of women who kiss me on the mouth!!! I find it amusing.

[Amethyst]

This is a great thread but I wonder if it would be better in Sex & Christianity forum? Just wondering. If you want me to move it, let me know.

 

Wholehearted support here btw...who cares what people do in each other's bedrooms, as long as it's consensual?

[pitchu]

Ameen,

 

My 25% estimate was the roughest of rough estimates, but it stands to reason that a site like this would attract and keep a higher percentage of GLBT folks than one would find in the general population. (I don't need to spell out the reasons, do I?)

 

Something Ex-C can be proud of is the level of... "acceptance" isn't the right word... "Non-issue-ness" which exists here when it comes to human sexuality. We can probably thank our experience with Christian sex-obsession for this.

 

My own life is richly top-heavy with gays, Jews, and Jewish gays, for without them there would be no American theater. Wouldn't exist. Nada. Well, a little Sam Shepard revival here and there, maybe.

[I Broke Free]

Ameen, I love the photo you took. They are so cute. I remember my 20’s in San Francisco and the fun of walking by a handsome man and then turning to see if he would look back too. (Supermarkets were great for this too) I was pretty confident of which of the men were gay and it was great fun to find out how many times you could turn around and still find them interested. I am glad I have those memories. Nearing 50 and living in the sticks of New Hampshire does not lend itself to that kind of fun anymore.

 

I love being a gay man. If I could go back in time and pick my sexuality there would be no changes made at all. Being gay forced me to think outside the box and question anything and everything I was ever told or took for granted. Having a straight twin brother also allows me to see to some extent what my life would probably be like if I were straight. Although my brother is happy and has a good life, I would not describe it as interesting. He fears having his beliefs challenged and is uncomfortable with new ideas. I see so much of my younger self in him and feel that my life would be similar if I were not forced by being gay to question how to live my life.

 

Am I glad to be gay? I would say yes. I can also say without hesitation that I am damned proud about how I chose to deal with being gay. I live every day of my life as open about my relationship as any heterosexual would regarding their spouse. I never tell people “I am gay” I just treat my life and my relationship as though it was as acceptable and normal as anyone else’s and people seem to respond well to that. My partner and I entered into a Civil Union just over a year ago and today it was publicly recognized by our town’s annual report. It lists all the births, deaths and marriages for year, and now everyone on our street who may have been wondering will know for sure. That filled me with pride.

[hereticzero]

I'm Libertarian and I believe in letting everyone live as they choose to live. Even the babble says love is no sin. Then if love is no sin then peaceful activity between consenting adults should not be a crime nor a sin either. If love harms no one then neither does peaceful activity.

[Crazycatlady]

I love being a gay man. If I could go back in time and pick my sexuality there would be no changes made at all. Being gay forced me to think outside the box and question anything and everything I was ever told or took for granted. Having a straight twin brother also allows me to see to some extent what my life would probably be like if I were straight. Although my brother is happy and has a good life, I would not describe it as interesting. He fears having his beliefs challenged and is uncomfortable with new ideas. I see so much of my younger self in him and feel that my life would be similar if I were not forced by being gay to question how to live my life.

 

As an agender (no, I don't mean androgynous) asexual, I can totally relate to this. I certainly would not know myself as well if I hadn't been forced to question my gender and sexuality and figure it all out.

[OpheliaGinger]

I have a transsexual lesbian friend that I love dearly. Even though I lean mostly towards men, I do eye the occasional woman. Succulent boobs on a woman....hmm...now that's nice.

[Tabula Rasa]

Even though I consider myself straight, I've had a few homosexual thoughts, and to make things interesting more than a few involving women with both*ahem* female and male equipment.(The last part is the fault of browsing too much hentai manga. )

 

I'm glad that I have the right to choose. I might prefer women, but if I decide that I might like to date or sleep with a Sam as well as a Samantha, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's my body, and no one has the right to tell me what I can do with another consenting adult.(Or more of either gender)

[Tabula Rasa]

I have a transsexual lesbian friend that I love dearly. Even though I lean mostly towards men, I do eye the occasional woman. Succulent boobs on a woman....hmm...now that's nice

 

OpheliaGinger, I couldn't agree more!

 

[Ameen]

Wowzer!!!

 

So much good stuff to respond to.

 

@ Crazycatlady: More power to you, sister!

 

@ Phanta: ...and I'm a proud supporter of people who use the screen name Phanta!

 

@ Neon Genesis: I've seen little anime in my life, but I have read a lot of manga.

 

@ Emme: Have a blast!!! It sounds like a lot of fun.

 

@ Prsym: Just want to say that I have been enjoying your posts on this board.

 

As you know, I teach English as a Second Language in a university, and I would estimate that more than 1/3 of my colleagues in my HUGE department are lesbian and gay--especially lesbian. In addition, I have four bosses: a lesbian, a gay man, and two heterosexual women. (My department is divided into five divisions, and I teach for four of the five.) Well, this is New York... It's a very accepting place, and people do not socialize accoding to lines drawn by sexual orientation.

 

Further, we have a number of gay students, some of them on scholarship because of a deal between my univeristy and GMHC (Gay Men's Health Crisis). Most are quiet in class, but some are OUT with a capital O--which is really brave since they are in the U.S. via Visas that permit them to study here (only) and often come from nations like Taiwan, Colombia, Korea, Russia, Venezuela and so on--nations not known for their pro-gay sentiments. (It's another matter when a student from, say, Spain or the Netherlands is openly gay.)

 

Gay Arabs and Africans exist--I have even taught students from very conservative nations like Libya and Saudi Arabia--but if they are gay they definitely keep it quiet. And gay Iranians can be put to death in their country. (I don't know if this is still true, but in the past gay Iranians were automatically given refugee status and documentation by the U.S.)

 

I have been teaching in my current university for only three years, but I feel as if it has been a happy lifetime. In contrast, I taught in my previous university, a rather homophobic place, for eleven years. It is also in New York City--but in the boondocks. I have been so much happier these past three years.

 

Good luck on your husband's submission!

 

@ Douglas: bach at you!

 

@ woodsmoke: So, are you a redhead fetishist, then? I've met a couple in my life, and I find them--as well as all fetishists--fascinating. (My apologies if the way I phrased that is technical and insensitive. I just enjoy broadening my knowledge of sexual diversity by listening to people describe how things I never would have thought of turn them on.)

 

Oh, and I'm a fetishist, too. Super-heroes and spandex costumes are an instant turn-on. I don't know if that's nature or nurture--or both--though. When I was a kid, I was told that masturbating was wrong because I "used" people when I thought about them while masturbating. I thus began masturbating to super-heroes in comics, characters in literature, fantasy historical scenes, and so on. In my mind that was O.K. because I wasn't 'using' real people... Many of myy sexual fantasies still revolve around all that--although I'm fully functional in the real world as well!

 

@ florduh: Actually, Dr. House is kinda hot... (I totally get Dr. Cameron's crush from the first or second season.)

 

@ noob: Actually, same here. Years ago a woman I worked with who knew I was gay wanted to marry me, and she even told me that I did not have to be faithful. She thought I would be a good father, and she did not want to wait any longer to have kids. Ironically, she was very attractive, and I know a few straight guys who would just die if I ever told them who was willing to have me father her children the natural way... Out of respect for our friendship, I'd never reveal her identity. But it is fun to think about how these 'studs' would react... Hee hee.

 

We lost touch a while ago, but the last I heard she was seeing a guy--a straight guy!--from Long Island.

 

@ Amethyst: I appreciate the thought, and it is kind of you to offer. I just don't want this to be a sex-only thread. But... If there is interest someone can start a sister thread about same-sex sex in the Sex & Christianity section.

 

@ pitchu: Hey there! I knew it was only an estimate, but it got me thinking about starting this thread...

 

Oh honey, I have the biggest crush on a gay Jewish singer/actor atheist I met a little more than a year ago in my vocal class! (I'm a singer but not an actor.) We're becoming good friends, but he's taken and --oy vey!-- 12 years younger... I can dream, though. As a performer, he gets a lot of guys and gals throwing themselves at him. Part of the reason for our friendship, I believe, is my respecting him as a man with a brain and talent.

 

I am not at all a physical person and rarely touch friends, but he is a hugger--which means he initiates a big hug every time I see him. Once I actually went to one of his concerts when I wasn't in the mood; I just wanted the bear hug! (Why am I admitting this?!!)

 

@ I Broke Free: What wonderful memories! Thank you for sharing them!

 

I wish I had had experiences like that in my 20s, but even though I came out at 23 and had sex (and my first kiss) at 24 and a half, I still had religion hanging over me. I have always wanted a monogamous relationship, but I fled from any attachments for fear that Jesus would come along and make me leave a husband I loved. It's weird: Christianity made me seek non-emotional sex and non-attachment even though everything in me was screaming for commitment and one man only. It's embarrassing to admit that I have never been in a relationship. Maybe in my next 43 years I'll finally find Mr. Good Enough (since Mr. Right does not exist). Just the thought that it is still possible is empowering!

 

Like you and Neon Genesis, I would not change my orientation for anything. (Well, if I COULD choose, I'd be a bisexual woman... But in this life I want to remain as I am.) I, too, challenged everything because of my sexual orientation (and, I must admit, because of my OCD as well). I am the person I am now because of all that; the rest of my family is gung-ho Christian and not nearly as free to be who they are.

 

In addition, I believe that many heterosexual men are as emotional and sensitive as gay men, but too many get caught playing macho roles that distance them from the things that make them happy. That is so sad; liberated men are happy men regardless of their sexual orientation.

 

@ Heretic Zero: Love it! Great philosophy!

 

@ Ophelia Ginger and Tabula Rasa: I have never been with a woman sexually and have no desire to be, but there are times I have eyed a woman in a way that surprised me. I understand what you are saying.

 

One time someone asked me whom I thought the hottest woman in America. I said RuPaul. But seriously... As I have posted in another thread, I love Elizabeth Montgomery (Samantha on Bewitched), Nichelle Nichols (Lt. Uhura in the 1960s Star Trek), Terry Farrell (Jadzia Dax on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine), and Jennifer Aniston.

 

Before I get conked over the head, though, let me also say that I have been attracted to masculine, butch women with short hair and a normal woman's non-Barbie body. A woman who commands a room through charsima merely by walking in is very sexy regardless of what she looks like.

 

----------------------------------------------

 

And finally...

 

In the 1980s I had a close friend who had bad acne and pimples. Sometimes he would get very itchy and ask me to scratch his back. Pimples or no, that is something I knew I enjoyed too much. This friend is straight (and is still a friend), so I never tried anything else with him. But it did give me a clue. There were also some other clues, such as my only being sexually drawn to other guys...

 

Then came 1985, when I was 20. After years of simultaneously knowing and denying, I realized I could not be anything but gay when I went with my friends--including the one who needed his back scratched periodically--to see The Breakfast Club, then a new movie in theaters. After the movie my friends went on and on about Ally Sheedy and Molly Ringwald, and I gave the two lip service to fit in. Still, I had been unable to take my eye off Emilio Estevez. He was only a couple of years older than me, and there was just something so magnetic about those eyes...

 

And my Emilio crush still hasn't worn off 24 years later.

 

Here is Emilio Estevez as he was in the mid-1980s. (His last name is misspelled in the photo):

 

 

I also fell in love with Vincent Spano in Creator, also from 1985. This is a capture from my DVD, which I still rewatch every couple of years. Creator is my second favorite movie of all time, second only to the 1931 Dracula with Bela Lugosi.

 

 

No, Creator has nothing to do with God or religion. The title refers to one of the lead characters, a biology professor played by Peter O'Toole who is trying to create life in his lab; Spano and Mariel Hemingway are the other leads. The movie is about life, grief, relationships, and what really matters; it has a wonderful message many of you will appreciate. It also has some wonderful comedic moments.

 

Back to Vincent Spano...

 

The amazing thing about Spano is that he just gets hotter with age. Here he is in an episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit in his mid-40s in 2007. He had a recurring role in four episodes as FBI Agent Dean Porter.

 

He is not just a pretty boy, either. In my opinion, Spano is one of the most talented and underrated actors in the U.S. today...

 

 

And you? Those of you who are LGBT... Did any actor or friend suddenly fill you with a revelation?

[HelloWorld]

Supporter here.

 

Back when I was still a die-hard xtian in high school. I had a super huge crush on my best friend. He came out as gay in grade 11. I was one of the "love the sinner, hate the sin" types, so despite the fact that he was gay, we were still great friends and are to this day. I think his friendship was one of the best things that could have happened to me because it showed me that gay people are not all evil and dirty like they are sometimes made out to be by the xtian right.

 

Anyway, my 3 best guy friends from high school are gay. and one of my few female friends from high school is a lesbian.

 

I also found out a couple of days ago that one of my other friends is transgendered and lesbian. Sadly, he (she) nearly committed suicide because of it. But he (she) is getting counselling now, and I think he (she) wants to get a sex change. I would kinda like to go out and help him (her) indulge in his (her) newly accepted "female-ness" by going on a huge shopping trip.

 

One of my boyfriend's great childhood friends is a well-known, award winning drag queen. My boyfriend stood in his wedding, too.

 

I am actually considering making a donation and writing a letter to my university's LBTQ society. I want to apologize for my xtian ways.

[HelloWorld]

Oh yeah.

 

I am also very happy that I can now attend my gay friend's wedding (The one I had a crush on....if he gets married). Even as an xtian, it made me sad that I would have to miss out on that special day. I hope he asks me to be in the wedding party!

 

And my main reason for writing another reply to the thread...you mentioned that you are a singer. Well my friend is a singer, too. He is doing a Bachelor of Music in Voice. He is in a lot of the operas that his university puts on.

[Neon Genesis]

And finally, here are two of DC Comics' newest heroes: Batwoman and The Question. Both are revived versions of very old superheroes in mothballs--and the original Question was a man. The wonderful thing is that the new versions are openly lesbian/bi, and they used to be an item. Too cool!

Even though I'm not all that into American comic books, I would love to see a live-action Batgirl movie where Batgirl is a lesbian. I think that would be a really unique and inspiring movie besides the usual superhero action flicks. Plus, I think they need more superhero movies with lead female characters in general.

 

Oh, and I'm a fetishist, too. Super-heroes and spandex costumes are an instant turn-on. I don't know if that's nature or nurture--or both--though. When I was a kid, I was told that masturbating was wrong because I "used" people when I thought about them while masturbating. I thus began masturbating to super-heroes in comics, characters in literature, fantasy historical scenes, and so on. In my mind that was O.K. because I wasn't 'using' real people... Many of myy sexual fantasies still revolve around all that--although I'm fully functional in the real world as well!

Yay for fetishes! I also will masturbate to both live-action porn and animated/comic book porn as I find many anime and manga men to be hot. I also have a fetish. I'm an adult baby and I love to wear diapers and act like a baby. Although randomly, I think my sexuality played more of a role in my deconversion than my fetish did. I also posted this fetish thread awhile back in the sex and Christianity forum: http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?showtopic=27880

 

And you? Those of you who are LGBT... Did any actor or friend suddenly fill you with a revelation?

I'm a bit embarrassed by it, but one of the earliest crushes I remember having was when I was a teen, I had a crush on the characters Tommy and Jason from the old episodes of Power Rangers (the red and green Rangers). I always thought Tommy should have ditched Kimberly (the Pink Ranger) for Jason. ^^;;

[mahjong]

I love when we get to say how much we love gay. I'm not a lesbian, my mother is, and I have always gotten crushes on lesbian women. The dykier the better. I guess it's because I was raised by my mom. I'm also proof that lesbianism is not a choice, because I've often thought life would be better for me if I was a lesbian. But, as much as I have tried to think about kissing a woman, I just can't even bring myself to seriously imagine it. Sad but true! (I've had some great sex, anyway!)

 

When I was in my late teens and 20 I hung out with a group of girls. We went bowling, camping, dancing, to car races and had lots of fun. It took me nearly 2 years to figure out they were lesbians, that's how much I didn't get it. They all figured I just didn't know I was a lesbian. I just figured I found women that were way more fun than any of the other women I knew. My mom was not out then, but meeting my friends made her realize she was a lesbian. True story!

[HelloWorld]

It took me nearly 2 years to figure out they were lesbians, that's how much I didn't get it.

 

Mmm. Don't feel bad. It took me two years to figure out my best friend was gay. I didn't even get it when he started to wear pride pins to school and to volunteer at local gay and lesbian youth centres. Apparently everyone else in my school knew, and they were just waiting for the bomb to fall on me.

[Tabula Rasa]

Wowzer!!!

 

So much good stuff to respond to.

 

 

@ Neon Genesis: I've seen little anime in my life, but I have read a lot of manga.

 

Ameen, if you haven't read some already, you'd probably enjoy Yaoi, which is gay romance anime and manga. Neon can probably tell you a few titles you might like.

 

While I'm mentioning same sex manga, do any of you bisexual women and lesbians on the forums read and or watch any yuri manga and anime? And if so what are some of your favorites?

[Neon Genesis]

Never mind this post. I misread Tabula's post that it was about women liking yuri as I was going to recommend some shoujo-ai titles. ^^;;