How Do Atheist Deal With Death?

[Guest amazed]

Since atheist don't believe in life after death how do you deal with the death of a loved one? How do you cope with the beleif that you will not see that loved one again?

[bdp]

My dad died in 1988 - I almost never think of him anymore.

[godlessgrrl]

Depending on who it is that's died, I run through a range of emotions in dealing with it. I usually miss them terribly and am very sad that I will never see them again.

 

Knowing I will never see my loved ones after they die makes me much more certain to say everything that needs saying and to treat them with greater consideration while they are still alive.

 

Otherwise, death is a bummer, but is just part of being human. Happens to all of us.

 

Why do you ask?

[Guest amazed]

Why do you want to find out?

 

Phanta

I'm curious to see how an atheist deals with perhaps the most important issue of life. The issue of death is something all worldviews need to deal with at some time.

[Guest amazed]

Depending on who it is that's died, I run through a range of emotions in dealing with it. I usually miss them terribly and am very sad that I will never see them again.

 

Knowing I will never see my loved ones after they die makes me much more certain to say everything that needs saying and to treat them with greater consideration while they are still alive.

 

Otherwise, death is a bummer, but is just part of being human. Happens to all of us.

 

Why do you ask?

i'm curious to see if atheistic beliefs give hope or something else when a loved one dies. It appears that it would give no hope of ever seeing that loved one again. Within Christianity we do have the hope of seeing loved ones again. It helps to make death bearable.

[bdp]

Depending on who it is that's died, I run through a range of emotions in dealing with it. I usually miss them terribly and am very sad that I will never see them again.

 

Knowing I will never see my loved ones after they die makes me much more certain to say everything that needs saying and to treat them with greater consideration while they are still alive.

 

Otherwise, death is a bummer, but is just part of being human. Happens to all of us.

 

Why do you ask?

i'm curious to see if atheistic beliefs give hope or something else when a loved one dies. It appears that it would give no hope of ever seeing that loved one again. Within Christianity we do have the hope of seeing loved ones again. It helps to make death bearable.

 

Death isn't unbearable. I'm over the fact that I'll never see my dad again. Your notion of 'hope' is absurd to me.

[Mike D]

Once me and all of my loved ones are dead it won't matter, because we won't miss each other. We'll all be dead.

[Guest amazed]

My dad died in 1988 - I almost never think of him anymore.

I lost my dad a few years ago and think of him now and again. I do believe i will see him again. If it were not for the hope i have in Christ i would be quite discouraged and without hope. I would think atheism gives no hope on this issue.

[Guest amazed]

Depending on who it is that's died, I run through a range of emotions in dealing with it. I usually miss them terribly and am very sad that I will never see them again.

 

Knowing I will never see my loved ones after they die makes me much more certain to say everything that needs saying and to treat them with greater consideration while they are still alive.

 

Otherwise, death is a bummer, but is just part of being human. Happens to all of us.

 

Why do you ask?

i'm curious to see if atheistic beliefs give hope or something else when a loved one dies. It appears that it would give no hope of ever seeing that loved one again. Within Christianity we do have the hope of seeing loved ones again. It helps to make death bearable.

 

Death isn't unbearable. I'm over the fact that I'll never see my dad again. Your notion of 'hope' is absurd to me.

Do you think you would feel different if you lost a son or daughter (assuming you are married)?

[Guest amazed]

Once me and all of my loved ones are dead it won't matter, because we won't miss each other. We'll all be dead.

What about now? Have you ever lost a loved one that was close to you? How would you cope with this being an atheist?

[Mike D]

i'm curious to see if atheistic beliefs give hope or something else when a loved one dies.

Since Christianity teaches that the vast majority of humanity is going to be brutally and sadistically tortured forever and ever, it gives me great peace to know that nobody will have to endure something so horrific.

[ContraBardus]

So, the only reason you believe in God, is because he makes you 'feel better' about death?

 

I don't need to see my loved ones again when I die. They had an impact on my life while they lived, and I'm grateful that I knew them while I could.

 

I sometimes wish I could meet people who have died, not necessarily family, because they had an impact on my life as well. I'm not a huge fan, but I wouldn't mind having a small conversation with George Carlin or Richard Pryor. I know it will never happen, but they influenced me, and their memories have enriched and improved my life.

 

As was pointed out, Mark Twain [another person I'd love to sit and have a beer with] does indeed give the best argument for how I feel about death. I do not look forward to it in anyway, but I'm not afraid of it when it comes either. I have no wish to die, but to paraphrase what he said. I was dead for an eternity before I was born, and it didn't bother me a bit. Why would it be any different when my life ends?

 

I think you place too much emphasis on unnecessary motivations. There are plenty of other motivations for life outside of worrying or wishing about what happens when it ends. It's a distraction to living now, and a waste of time.

 

Yeah. I've got family I wouldn't mind seeing again and never will. They were there for me in my life though, and I'm the person I am because of them. They exist for me in my memories of them, and I don't need to look forward to meeting them again and having them pat me on the head after my life is finished.

 

I feel no need to have any sort of permanent or eternal impact on the universe. I don't need to exist forever, nor do I think doing so would be a good thing in reality. All things end, it's the way of the universe. I do not need to be permanent, and do not want to live forever in this world, or any other.

 

I hope I have an impact on those I leave behind, but see no reason to think 'going somewhere else when I die' is necessary or really important to this life. Belief like that does nothing to improve the quality of this life, and in fact detracts from it. It's false hope, and human vanity and selfishness to wish for such a thing. I don't think Christians really understand the implications of what 'living forever' could really be like.

 

It's just a shallow fantasy.

 

Also, Mike, great point. I'm with you 100% on that one.

[bdp]

Depending on who it is that's died, I run through a range of emotions in dealing with it. I usually miss them terribly and am very sad that I will never see them again.

 

Knowing I will never see my loved ones after they die makes me much more certain to say everything that needs saying and to treat them with greater consideration while they are still alive.

 

Otherwise, death is a bummer, but is just part of being human. Happens to all of us.

 

Why do you ask?

i'm curious to see if atheistic beliefs give hope or something else when a loved one dies. It appears that it would give no hope of ever seeing that loved one again. Within Christianity we do have the hope of seeing loved ones again. It helps to make death bearable.

 

Death isn't unbearable. I'm over the fact that I'll never see my dad again. Your notion of 'hope' is absurd to me.

Do you think you would feel different if you lost a son or daughter (assuming you are married)?

 

I'm not married, never have been, and have no intention of being a parent. Not sure why it would be any different than having lost my father, can't get much closer than that.

[Mike D]

What about now? Have you ever lost a loved one that was close to you? How would you cope with this being an atheist?

I miss the person and think about them on occasion, but otherwise I don't dwell on death too much. It's kind of pointless since there's nothing I can do about it.

[Shyone]

 

i'm curious to see if atheistic beliefs give hope or something else when a loved one dies. It appears that it would give no hope of ever seeing that loved one again. Within Christianity we do have the hope of seeing loved ones again. It helps to make death bearable.

Have you been to a funeral for someone you loved? Did you cry, or did you dance and yell for joy?

 

How a person lives and is remembered is their legacy.

 

Have you lost a dog? Do you think you'll see your lost dog in heaven? If not, does that make it unbearable?

 

There are several stages to grief, and from what I understand, Christians are not immune to grief. When I realized that there is no God, and there is no Never Never Land, I started looking at life, reality, and doing what I could for my family, friends, and other people. Of course, I've always been a humanist, so doing good for humans was my lifelong ambition. Medicine has been the vehicle for my humanism, and I try to give people all the life that nature allows.

 

Having lost my parents, I honor their memory by speaking of them with others who knew them and telling their stories. And sometimes others tell me about my parents - because I didn't know them before I was born, and I wasn't with them constantly. I miss them, and Christians will miss their parents as well.

 

Wishing to be together again is another way to think of missing someone. Wishful thinking does not make it so.

[godlessgrrl]

You're right, atheism offers no hope for an afterlife.

 

Some folks can't cope with that and prefer to adopt a belief in an afterlife as a measure of comfort. It's likely a false hope, but a very understandable one.

[Vigile]

Since atheist don't believe in life after death how do you deal with the death of a loved one? How do you cope with the beleif that you will not see that loved one again?

 

Just like you guys do, we morn.

 

Unlike you guys, we don't self deceive ourselves. You know, we're all grown up and stuff.

[Kuroikaze]

I lost my dad a few years ago and think of him now and again. I do believe i will see him again. If it were not for the hope i have in Christ i would be quite discouraged and without hope. I would think atheism gives no hope on this issue.

 

So? just because it gives you hope in no way suggests that it is true.

 

Scientology offers hope because they think Xenu is going to come and take them to his planet where they will live forever, but hope in crazy is still false hope.

 

I'd rather see reality as it is than believe in crazy things just to feel good.

 

How do I cope? Like most people I am sad, but eventually I get on with my life, like most people do. The person that died would not have wanted me to waist the only life I get mourning the loss of theirs.

[belladonna]

Once me and all of my loved ones are dead it won't matter, because we won't miss each other. We'll all be dead.

What about now? Have you ever lost a loved one that was close to you? How would you cope with this being an atheist?

 

All but one member of my family are gone. How do I deal with it? The same way I deal with life; it is what it is. Death is nothing more than the natural progression of life. I'm sure if I lost one of my children, my pain would be profound; no doubt about it. However, life is far more important to me than death, or the possibility of an afterlife.

 

Answer me this - if Christians are so convinced of an afterlife, why are so many so reluctant to let loved ones go? If you are sure you'll see them again, then, as painful as someone's death might be, there should be comfort in the fact that you know this person will be waiting for you. But I have seen Christians mourn far longer (and far louder) than a lot of non-Christians. Why is that?

[Dhampir]

Do you cry for someone who hasn't died, but whom you know you will never see again regardless? I mean, do you cry like someone just cut your arm off? To be perfectly honest, I don't think even most Christians in their heart of hearts actually think they're going to see anybody after they die. Why? Because their reaction to death is no different from anyone else, especially atheists. Typically, consolation with the idea that they'll see their loved one again comes around the same time they can be consoled by remembering the good times, and such. Basically, the worst of their anguish has passed by that point, and consolation is possible. It also means they don't really need to believe that they're going to see that loved one again.

[Midnight-mindwanderings]

We just had a post start up about this subject: http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?/topic/34731-atheists-and-death/page__pid__505237__st__0entry505237

 

Its hard, its always hard. Some of us deal with it better than others, and some of us still have ideas about possible afterlife.

 

My signature is "Death is the road to awe". Without death there would be no life, and in death we return and allow new life and new potential to grow. I doubt any consciousness survives death, but the body continues to exist and the memories of the living continue. Here is another quote "There are no happy endings because nothing ends." Our individual deaths are the continuation of a process that has been going on since time itself began.

 

Please read and let some of what we say sink in. You seem to have disregarded a lot of what was talked about on your other thread. But maybe you just don't respond much. I know you have many people to respond to. I hope you are asking for your own benefit and not ours though. I think about death an awful lot, to a morbid extreme perhaps, and I am sure many of us here have done the same. Everyone must one day face their own mortality and its better to think about before the very end. For many of us it was a core step in deconverting from Christianity.

[oddbird1963]

Since atheist don't believe in life after death how do you deal with the death of a loved one?

 

The usual stages of grief for starters. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression , acceptance. Remember the good times. Deal with unfinished business. Eventually, adapt to whatever "hole" has been ripped into our lives. Move on. Live with the memories.

 

How do you cope with the beleif that you will not see that loved one again?

 

It's best to ask yourself this question BEFORE you lose someone. Then, make sure that at each opportunity you have to be with them, make a memory that will be cherished. Have an experience that enriches you both. Let go of any resentments toward that person. Resolve any tensions or conflicts.

 

In other words put a finish to unfinished business now.

 

Otherwise, you cope with the belief the same way: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, etc.

 

 

Amazed, I hope you are really listening to the people on this forum and not trying to force-fit them into your own preconceived notions about atheists.

[Vigile]

[Guest amazed]

I lost my dad a few years ago and think of him now and again. I do believe i will see him again. If it were not for the hope i have in Christ i would be quite discouraged and without hope. I would think atheism gives no hope on this issue.

 

So? just because it gives you hope in no way suggests that it is true.

 

Scientology offers hope because they think Xenu is going to come and take them to his planet where they will live forever, but hope in crazy is still false hope.

 

I'd rather see reality as it is than believe in crazy things just to feel good.

 

How do I cope? Like most people I am sad, but eventually I get on with my life, like most people do. The person that died would not have wanted me to waist the only life I get mourning the loss of theirs.

On what grounds do you believe there is no life after death?

[Guest amazed]

We just had a post start up about this subject: http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?/topic/34731-atheists-and-death/page__pid__505237__st__0entry505237

 

Its hard, its always hard. Some of us deal with it better than others, and some of us still have ideas about possible afterlife.

 

My signature is "Death is the road to awe". Without death there would be no life, and in death we return and allow new life and new potential to grow. I doubt any consciousness survives death, but the body continues to exist and the memories of the living continue. Here is another quote "There are no happy endings because nothing ends." Our individual deaths are the continuation of a process that has been going on since time itself began.

 

Please read and let some of what we say sink in. You seem to have disregarded a lot of what was talked about on your other thread. But maybe you just don't respond much. I know you have many people to respond to. I hope you are asking for your own benefit and not ours though. I think about death an awful lot, to a morbid extreme perhaps, and I am sure many of us here have done the same. Everyone must one day face their own mortality and its better to think about before the very end. For many of us it was a core step in deconverting from Christianity.

I read and respond as much as i can given the limitations of these forums. Its quite easy to misunderstand people. Given that, how was facing death (if i understand you correctly) a core step in deconverting from Christianity? How did it lead you to become an atheist?