What Made Us Different?

[Thackerie]

... On the other hand, if you are a 'question authority' type you are not going to be happy with so-called fundamentalist 'truth', period, dot, now go home and shut up. ...

 

That was (and still is) me! I suppose this is why I never got very deeply into religion in the first place. But actually researching and studying the history of the Bible and Christianity is what sealed the deal.

[★ Citsonga ★]

Truth has been a top priority for me my entire life. Once I had enough tools through education to see what I believed couldn't possibly be true, my faith just disappeared. It's as simple as that.

 

I'm not sure I experienced cognitive dissonance. If I did, I didn't recognize it as such. My experience essentially started out with faith forced on me, tilting my scale all the way to one side. As contrary evidence built on the other side the scale, faith showed itself to be without substance. It was a painful experience, but I didn't fight it. I prayed hard, but I didn't try and rationalize.

 

It was pretty much the same with me. Although I would say that I did do some rationalizing, I did not see it as rationalizing when I believed it to be true. As painful as it was to go through deconversion, truth was (and still is) of utmost importance to me, and when truth undermined my faith, I had no choice but to let go of my faith.

[UpandOut]

There are two types of christianity they teach you at church: the fluffy nice parts that you want to hear (all animals go to heaven, you go to heaven immediately when you die and see all your loved ones), and the actual truth about the religion they learn at Bible College. My pastor and I were related, and I knew quite a bit about biblical history and loved theology. He'd sometimes slip up and mention stuff in sermons such as: you actually go into a deep sleep when you die and you do not go to heaven or the afterlife until after Jesus returns and it's not true to say that you go straight to heaven. However, when someone actually did die, he would quickly back-pedal and say "I know little Billy is in heaven RIGHT NOW with his puppy and his grandpa! PRAISE JESUS!" I started questioning the little things such as that, in full faith that if christianity was the right religion and Jesus the messiah, there would be nothing that I would find that would seem wrong, offend or anger me. I expected to find some comfort after reading the bible through myself a few times and answering all the questions I had about sketchy situations like this (and I asked my pastors and friends as well), but you can guess what happened. Everything unravelled.

 

I also greatly differed politically than everyone in the church, I was a democrat from a poor area that benefited from planned parenthood. I also had a gay cousin and most of my friends were bisexual. As someone that carries a fatal genetic disorder, I strongly support abortion and safe family planning. When sermons started turning from Jesus to supporting George Bush for the next election, I got quite upset.

 

Even now, years later I realize that he had to know what he was doing. He had to know the truth about the religion and was just dressing it up and putting a nice little spin on it to appease people. It sickens me to think like this about such a person I once looked up to.

 

 

 

[Galien]

what were the feelings you all went through before fully deconverting?

I left the faith primarily to escape cognitive dissonance. I could no longer reconcile the Christian worldview with actual reality. My rationalizer wore out. It's that simple.

 

Same for me, and I got sick and tired of watching christians treat people like dirt. Defeated the whole purpose in my eyes. But yes, the cognitive dissonance burnt a hole right through my brain. My concentration was shot so bad I could not read a book for nearly three years. Still have post traumatic stress disorder.

 

My faith was based on emotion entirely, once that was stripped away, there was nothing left.

[Ravenstar]

This is something I have wondered about also

 

In my case I think it was because I love to learn, I have a naturally analytical mind and a love of ancient history/archaeology/science.

 

I remember when I was in the church and hearing about how Noah's Ark had been found on Mount Ararat, at first I thought that was cool but then I began to read other reports about it.. which lead me to research the reality of a global flood..etc... and even though I am not mathematically minded I could see it wasn't possible. I began to study more ancient history and came across the Sumerians and the Egyptians, and how Greek thought influenced western culture..etc..etc..etc...and the idea that we all came from two individuals is just ludicrous... I guess what it finally came down to was that if a god existed and the Bible was true then science would be able to back it up... and that isn't the case, at least not so far that I can see. And 'hell', just can't rationalize it, at all. I justified it by being one of the "Hell doesn't exist, the lost just are destroyed' christians for a while , - then that broke down as well.

 

I really liked the 'feel good' stuff.. and I still believe that treating others as one would like to be treated is a solid moral value, but my sense of logic finally was unable to swallow the apologetics anymore. I also couldn't understand why Christians, in general, are no better people than anyone else - there should be SOME differences if they get all these blessings - It all felt dishonest, though it wasn't until recently that I had the knowledge to understand why it felt that way.

 

I've been lucky maybe that I am bit of a loner. I have never had any desire to be part of the 'in crowd'... maybe that was my difference, and my inborn desire for knowledge.(?)