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Emme
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Hi everybody. It's been a while.

 

Sorry to just burst in unannounced with questions, but I need u guys right now.

 

 

I've been given a diagnosis: Bipolar.

 

I'm trying to cope and keep coming back to religion and black-white thoughts.

 

Does anybody here have any experience you would like to share. I feel Christianity is connected to my disorder, but I can't clarify better.

 

Any takers?

 

Emme

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Yeah, I got experience dealing with a kid that has it. Bipolar is nothing to be afraid of. It can be irritating going through cycles of depression and euphoria. Read up on it as much as you can on the internet. There are drugs out there that can help, such as Abilify. Some people take Abilify and an antidepressant but I think that's a bit too much medication but I am no doctor. Many people go through life with it and do not know it. I am not crazy about any kind of medication. A person with self-determination to succeed in life may not need medication. Everyone with bipolar behaves differently.

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Oh boy Emme, do I ever understand.

 

I, too, have bipolar. And when I was diagnosed in February last year, I started questioning what was actually ME, and what was BIPOLAR.

 

Now, from my own experiences, and the experiences of my bipolar friends, there is one thing I have learned: If you're swinging back and forth between religion and non-belief, those awesome religious experiences that keep pulling you back are bipolar. Those visions, euphoria, the closeness you feel to God, the little messages you believe he is giving you through every day things- trust me on this. It's not god. You're not being enlightened. It's the gremlin in your mind, called bipolar, having some fun. And they're bloody mischevious gremlins, too. But that's all they are.

 

I have never heard of a single bipolar person saying bipolar makes them an atheist. But we all pretty much go through the religious delusions as part and parcel of mania. The worst the mania, the more intense the perceived religious experience will be. And people with no christian upbringing, who end up with bipolar, get the religious delusions, too.

 

Black and white thoughts are to be expected. The best way I describe it, when I am unwell, having an episode, it's like a regression to a child-like mentality. And children, in essence, are quite black and white in their thinking. They haven't developed to the point of appreciating all the shades of grey in life. I tell peoplethat, when I am in the midst of an episode, I still know my age. I still know I am a 26 year old adult. So don't talk to me as anything but an adult, or treat me as anything but an adult, because you will be met with the child-like petulance of the state I am actually in. Can a child manage money? No. So do not condemn me for my own inability to manage money in that state. Is a child impulsive? Yes. So do not condemn me for my own impulsiveness in that state. Does a child think of consequences? No. So expect some recklessness. I tell them to be patient with me, and have no more expectations of me than a child, but still talk to me as an adult. The mentality passes, just as each episode passes, and soon enough I am back to myself. The easiest way to deal with me is to chuck on my favourite DVD's, and make deals with me when I'm being difficult. Deals work really well with me, and many other bipolar people, because we feel as though there has been some negotiation, like we have had some say in a decision.

 

Now, what no-one prepared me for when I was diagnosed, was that you don't just take those tablets and everything's a-ok. Learning how to manage bipolar is a long journey. What no-one prepared me for is the amount of grief I would feel, the loss I would feel because of my diagnosis. Let yourself grieve your old life, because your life now is different. It's not over, far from it. But it will be different. And you need to allow yourself to grieve, because you won't fully accept your condition, until you have gone through the process of grieving. And you won't properly manage your condition, until you accept it. I went through a lot of denial, and a lot of hard times, until I grieved. And it was only when I finished grieving that I came to a place of acceptance. But there are still some days I struggle with it. And perhaps there always will be. We have a life long condition that likes to throw curve balls at us. Accepting bipolar as a part of me was was a concept I also struggled with, and sometimes still do. I'd rather say, this is me, that is it. But I have leaned that that thinking was futile, and only contributed to episodes, as I spent so much energy mentally fighting it, trying to be the person I used to be again. There is no cure for bipolar, neither can you fight it out of existence. It's a part of us. It makes us who we are. It contributes to our strengths, and our weaknesses. We see the world differently. And now, I'm glad I have bipolar. I don't want to be the person I used to be any more. I have my moments, but I am a far nicer person than I used to be. I care more about people. I am less judgemental, and more tolerant. I am stronger, because I have been to hell and back in my own mind, and come out the other side.

 

But one thing is absolutely crucial to your recovery, and that is your own determination to take charge of your own condition. I'm not going to lie to you. It's not an easy journey. But I will be here for you, if you want me to be. You can pm me as much as you want. I would most definitely like to be there for you. You can ask me any questions you want to. I may not always know the answer, but I have an excellent psych nurse, who I see every Tuesday unless she is away, and I can ask her. And trust me, I don't have a high opinion of the majority of mental health professionals. She's someone different.

 

So I hope I have helped you a little, and I really would love to hear more from you :) You can do it. Trust me, it is possible. xxx

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I was diagnosed as bipolar 6 years ago and put on Paxil and Lamictol. I went batshit crazy, attempted suicide twice, and finally quit taking the meds. Later found out I didn't have emotional problems. I'm diabetic. Thus my crazy emotional shifts were blood sugar problems and not serotonin levels in my brain. Anyway, through the magic of diet and exercise, I'm stable, healthy, and happy again.

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I was diagnosed as bipolar 6 years ago and put on Paxil and Lamictol. I went batshit crazy, attempted suicide twice, and finally quit taking the meds. Later found out I didn't have emotional problems. I'm diabetic.

Some studies have indicated that bipolar is over diagnosed. Some researchers even say as many as half are wrongly diagnosed. Considering the side effects of the drugs, a second and even third medical opinion would be prudent.

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Hi everybody. It's been a while.

 

Sorry to just burst in unannounced with questions, but I need u guys right now.

 

 

I've been given a diagnosis: Bipolar.

 

I'm trying to cope and keep coming back to religion and black-white thoughts.

 

Does anybody here have any experience you would like to share. I feel Christianity is connected to my disorder, but I can't clarify better.

 

Any takers?

 

Emme

 

Bless the LARD, Sister Emme! I am so thankful that the Spook of Kryasst who is also somehow magically Him magically caused me to view this topic!

 

I was diagnosed as bipolar (Bipolar II) in 1998 at the age of 32, but the illness had been there undiagnosed since I was a teenager.

 

Blackpudd1n is right about bipolar disorder and the religious experiences. They feel so real when they are happening, but it is indeed the illness talking and not god. I wouldn't be surprised at all if Christianity is connected to your having bipolar disorder. The brainwashing, indoctrination, fear-based psychological abuse and manipulation, false and damaging doctrines, etc... that is part and parcel of the Cult has the potential to do a tremendous amount of damage.

 

Take a look at Dr. Marlene Winell's posts about Religious Trauma Syndrome on the main blog. Those were a serious eye-opener for me. I don't doubt that I have bipolar disorder, but I can see the damage that extreme religious belief caused very clearly.

 

http://new.exchristi...ts-time-to.html

 

http://new.exchristi...a-syndrome.html

 

http://new.exchristi...o-get-help.html

 

My experience with taking meds has been mostly negative. The drugs simply don't work for me. Back in May of this year I got hit with the worst depressive episode I've had in more than 10 years and decided to try Lamictal after I got out of the hospital. We thought it might be working because I was feeling really good again and feeling stable but then got hit with another major depression about a month ago. So now I am back to not taking any meds. I'm still dealing with some mild depression, but nothing that can't be dealt with fairly easily.

 

One resource I am finding really helpful is Bipolar Disorder Magazine. Lots of great information and helpful stuff there.

 

http://www.bphope.com/

 

I subscribe to the digital edition and really like it.

 

Do as much research as you can. The more you know the better you will be able to manage your condition.

 

Hope that helps!

 

Glory!

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Now, from my own experiences, and the experiences of my bipolar friends, there is one thing I have learned: If you're swinging back and forth between religion and non-belief, those awesome religious experiences that keep pulling you back are bipolar. Those visions, euphoria, the closeness you feel to God, the little messages you believe he is giving you through every day things- trust me on this. It's not god. You're not being enlightened. It's the gremlin in your mind, called bipolar, having some fun. And they're bloody mischevious gremlins, too. But that's all they are.

 

I have never heard of a single bipolar person saying bipolar makes them an atheist. But we all pretty much go through the religious delusions as part and parcel of mania. The worst the mania, the more intense the perceived religious experience will be. And people with no christian upbringing, who end up with bipolar, get the religious delusions, too.

 

 

I went through that for 15 years! I swung back and forth between devout fundamentalist Christian religious belief and non-belief and bouts of severe substance abuse, and usually those swings lasted for months at a time. I'd be singing about Jesus and how awesome God was for a few months and then a few months later I'd want nothing to do with religion and I'd be drinking and drugging myself into unconsciousness almost every night for months at a time. I had visions during my believing times of wanting to be the greatest evangelist of my generation. I'd watch TBN (The Bullshit Network) and wish I could be doing at least as much soul-winning and divine healing as they were. The reality was that while I was well-liked in my church and I did sing solos frequently, that's the closest I ever came to being a Billy Graham. :rolleyes:

 

I should know that when I start really getting interested in spirituality and God seems oh so close that it's the illness talking and it's not really for real, but that is so hard to accept when the good feelings are flowing! I guess all I can do is try to be aware, painful though it is.

 

Sister Blackpudd1n, I know Sister Emme will appreciate your post, but I want you to know that I do too -- very much. Thank you!

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Brother Jeff,

 

I feel for you. For some bipolar people, the medication just never works, making it that much harder to learn to control this condition. Others have a very fine line between what will work and what won't, and even when they find something that will work, it will only work for so long before it just ceases to, for no apparent reason.

 

With myself, I take 2000mg of Epilim (Sodium Valproate) a day, and while it helps, I have discovered that environmental issues will make my meds stop working altogether. Stress impacts upon the meds ability to help; change of seasons throws me off; doing too much running around impacts on their ability to work; alcohol and drugs will always inhibit the effectiveness of the medication, so I just don't go there; not sleeping, even if I take the meds, will cause me to veer into the danger zone. So in my experience, medication helps- but I have to also be aware of how my lifestyle is influencing my ability to manage my condition, and take steps to ensure I'm looking after myself. so I no longer drink or take drugs. I try to deal with stress as best I can, and limit the amount of stressful activities I engage in. When I have a few nights of bad sleep, I have Seroquel in the cupboard, and I will take a low dose to ensure I get a good sleep, as much as I hate how groggy I feel when I wake up. I am aware that September, when it changes from Winter to Spring, throws me off, so I am careful to take extra care of myself.

 

I have been involved in a pilot programme here in Australia that has a revolutionary approach to dealing with mental conditions. I see a psych nurse every week at my doctor's practice, and there is a huge difference in the way management of these conditions is approached. In the mental health system, the professionals focus on the illness. However, this new approach focuses on the person as an individual and treats the whole person, holistically. The key difference in thought is that, instead of focusing on how, say, bipolar affects your life, they come with the understanding that it's not just bipolar that affects your life, every other factor in your life affects your ability to manage your condition. If you provide the support to remove some of the stressors the person will improve faster. And it's working. These conditions affect each of us differently, so a one-size-fits-all approach just won't work. Some people need help with learning to budget. Others have lost the ability to clean, so they organise a regular cleaner. Some people can't get the motivation to cook anymore. So they organise meals on wheels. If you sort out the things that pull a person down, then they can focus better on getting well.

 

What I really needed from my psych nurse was to understand what was going on. I needed answers that I just wasn't finding elsewhere. And I needed some perspective. I needed to know that it's okay to have a messy house, sometimes shit happens and you don't have the time to clean. I needed to know that I don't have to have it together all the time- no one else does. I needed to know that it is okay, that everything is okay, and that I will be okay. I still remember how fast I unravelled, and I do fear it happening again. My psych nurse has a lot more faith in me than I do in myself. But I'm sure it will come with time.

 

This new approach has helped me where the others failed. I gave my psych nurse curry the first couple of times I saw her. I wanted to believe someone could help me, truly I did. But I had not an ounce of trust for anyone in that field. and I was so angry and bitter about the bipolar blow I'd been dealt in life. She had to earn my trust before she could even begin working with me, and she did. She helped me overcome my anger, grief, and bitterness, and showed me that there was life beyond mental illness. A very sore point for me was I felt that I had lost my university degree, thanks to bipolar. But a few months ago, the idea of starting university came creeping back, and she encouraged me to give it a go. She told me I was at a point in my recovery where I was not ready for work again, but I was bored, and my overactive brain needed something to do, or else all the hard work I had done would start disintegrating. So I have signed up for uni again, this time completely online, through Open Universities. I think the course structure will work better for me- each unit is only 13 weeks, and they have four study periods a year, so I can do one subject per 13 week study period and come out with a degree in six years. My first unit starts in 18 days, and I am scared as all hell. But I'm going to give it a shot :)

 

Thanks for the resource, too, Brother Jeff, I will certainly look into it :)

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I was diagnosed as bipolar 6 years ago and put on and Lamictol. I went batshit crazy, attempted suicide twice, and finally quit taking the meds. Later found out I didn't have emotional problems. I'm diabetic. Thus my crazy emotional shifts were blood sugar problems and not serotonin levels in my brain. Anyway, through the magic of diet and exercise, I'm stable, healthy, and happy again.

 

I have seen a case of this myself, fluctuating blood sugar levels can create symptoms that mimic those displayed in bipolar. However, your reaction to the Paxil should have been all the indication needed to recognise that you did not have bipolar. One of the most common ways people are diagnosed is our unique reaction to anti-depressants. This is a common scenario: person comes in the psych ward, depressed as all hell. Okay, they give them anti-depressants. Within a very short time, I'm talking days, this formerly depressed person is manic as all hell. WELL, the professionals think to themselves, now we know what's going on: they're not suffering from depression, but bipolar. Get them off that shit, we've gotta start working out what medication WILL help them!

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Some studies have indicated that bipolar is over diagnosed. Some researchers even say as many as half are wrongly diagnosed. Considering the side effects of the drugs, a second and even third medical opinion would be prudent.

 

Actually, on average, it takes 10 years and 4 misdiagnoses before a person is finally properly diagnosed with bipolar. Not only that, but Bipolar Disorder Type 1 affects 1% of the male population, and 1% of the female population. The incidence of Bipolar Disorder Type 2 affects 1% of the male population and 5% of the female population. Both bipolar type 1 and type 2 have an under-lying genetic component, and both types are triggered by a traumatic event in the person's life; however, that being said, type 1 has more of an emphasis on the genetic component and less on an emotional trigger, whereas type 2 has less of an emphasis on the genetic component and more on the traumatic event.

 

what the research is showing, is that ALL people with a mental condition, regardless of what it is, have experienced trauma. That's not to say that every person who experiences trauma will end up with a mental illness; rather, it highlights the increased propensity for mental conditions to develop following a traumatic event. Some people end up with a mental condition as a result of pure trauma- there is not necessarily always a genetic component. This is something I have been looking into for some time, as I am the first in my family to be diagnosed with bipolar. That being said, though, while we did not seem to have bipolar in there, we did have epilepsy (my biological mother is an epileptic). I have noticed that many people who have bipolar also have epilepsy in their family, and a while ago spoke to a friend of mine who is involved in a research project at the University of Queensland (they're trying to isolate the gene that causes schizophrenia) about my observations, and she said that the researchers are starting to take note of the link between bipolar and epilepsy. Should such a link be proven, it could completely change the way bipolar is viewed and treated. While I was the first to be diagnosed with bipolar, my cousin's daughter, who is 16, is now showing early signs of it. I take comfort in that fact that my diagnosis, as hard as I had to fight for it, will make it an easier process for my cousin's daughter. I told my cousin to just document everything, so that, if the time comes, and I really hope it doesn't, she can walk in with her documentation, and say, there it is, everything I have observed, and by the way, my cousin has bipolar, hope it helps.

 

It is actually really hard to get a diagnosis of bipolar, or to get the professionals to agree on any diagnosis, for that matter. I went back and forth between schizoaffective disorder and borderline personality disorder for three years. At one point they told me there was nothing wrong with me, and told me to go get a job. Ha! By that stage I couldn't even read a paragraph, I was so sick. and I'd been reading The Sydney Morning Herald since the age of 8. OBVIOUSLY something wasn't quite right up there!

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Oh boy Emme, do I ever understand.

 

Thank you so much. It was like looking in a mirror. I'm taking your advice for sure.

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I'm so thankful for all your replies. I'm reading slowly, cause my energy is way down. You guys are awesome.

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I was diagnosed as bipolar 6 years ago and put on Paxil and Lamictol. I went batshit crazy, attempted suicide twice, and finally quit taking the meds. Later found out I didn't have emotional problems. I'm diabetic.

Some studies have indicated that bipolar is over diagnosed. Some researchers even say as many as half are wrongly diagnosed. Considering the side effects of the drugs, a second and even third medical opinion would be prudent.

 

I wish I hadn't waited to get a 2nd opinion. Taking those meds was the worst time in my life. It was like being behind the wheel of a two ton truck and having no idea who was driving. I watched in horror as my behavior alienated myself to everyone I knew and could do nothing about it until I stopped taking that stuff.

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Oh boy Emme, do I ever understand.

 

Thank you so much. It was like looking in a mirror. I'm taking your advice for sure.

 

You are most welcome, Emme :) drop me a line anytime you need to talk. There is so much to get your head around, and you're going to need as much support as you can get, because so many people just don't understand and won't understand what you are going through. And it's not their fault, either. They just can't understand, if they haven't experienced mental health issues themselves. I don't hold it against them, I just try to learn as much as I can and educate others with what I have learned.

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I was diagnosed as bipolar 6 years ago and put on Paxil and Lamictol. I went batshit crazy, attempted suicide twice, and finally quit taking the meds. Later found out I didn't have emotional problems. I'm diabetic.

Some studies have indicated that bipolar is over diagnosed. Some researchers even say as many as half are wrongly diagnosed. Considering the side effects of the drugs, a second and even third medical opinion would be prudent.

 

I wish I hadn't waited to get a 2nd opinion. Taking those meds was the worst time in my life. It was like being behind the wheel of a two ton truck and having no idea who was driving. I watched in horror as my behavior alienated myself to everyone I knew and could do nothing about it until I stopped taking that stuff.

 

Foxy, they really should have at the very least run some blood tests, and checked your thyroid function, too. What you went through was nothing short of negligent, reckless, and irresponsible on the part of the medical professional/s. And I am so sorry they put you through that with their careless actions. You did the right thing, seeking a second opinion. It is absolutely disgusting the lack of care you received.

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Emme, I don't have any experience or have anything to offer about your bipolar situation. I just wanted to say that it put a smile on my face to see you again! Hmmmm.... I might have to go revive xandermac's recipe thread in honor of your return. Take care of yourself and stick around. It looks like you can find a lot of good advice and support here. Hugs to you!

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There is a Simpsons episode where Homer travels to different parrallel Springfield universes and can't find his way back to the original Springfield. He eventually finds one that is all but identical, except that everyone has long snake-like forked tongues that they use to eat with. He gasps in horror for a second, and then resignedly says "Meh, close enough."

 

 

This summer I told my old pastor I'm not Christian any more, and also started taking a mood stabilizer, which has dramatically reduced my rage, but escaping black and white thinking takes a lot of practice.

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Brother Jeff,

 

I feel for you. For some bipolar people, the medication just never works, making it that much harder to learn to control this condition. Others have a very fine line between what will work and what won't, and even when they find something that will work, it will only work for so long before it just ceases to, for no apparent reason.

 

With myself, I take 2000mg of Epilim (Sodium Valproate) a day, and while it helps, I have discovered that environmental issues will make my meds stop working altogether. Stress impacts upon the meds ability to help; change of seasons throws me off; doing too much running around impacts on their ability to work; alcohol and drugs will always inhibit the effectiveness of the medication, so I just don't go there; not sleeping, even if I take the meds, will cause me to veer into the danger zone. So in my experience, medication helps- but I have to also be aware of how my lifestyle is influencing my ability to manage my condition, and take steps to ensure I'm looking after myself. so I no longer drink or take drugs. I try to deal with stress as best I can, and limit the amount of stressful activities I engage in. When I have a few nights of bad sleep, I have Seroquel in the cupboard, and I will take a low dose to ensure I get a good sleep, as much as I hate how groggy I feel when I wake up. I am aware that September, when it changes from Winter to Spring, throws me off, so I am careful to take extra care of myself.

 

I have been involved in a pilot programme here in Australia that has a revolutionary approach to dealing with mental conditions. I see a psych nurse every week at my doctor's practice, and there is a huge difference in the way management of these conditions is approached. In the mental health system, the professionals focus on the illness. However, this new approach focuses on the person as an individual and treats the whole person, holistically. The key difference in thought is that, instead of focusing on how, say, bipolar affects your life, they come with the understanding that it's not just bipolar that affects your life, every other factor in your life affects your ability to manage your condition. If you provide the support to remove some of the stressors the person will improve faster. And it's working. These conditions affect each of us differently, so a one-size-fits-all approach just won't work. Some people need help with learning to budget. Others have lost the ability to clean, so they organise a regular cleaner. Some people can't get the motivation to cook anymore. So they organise meals on wheels. If you sort out the things that pull a person down, then they can focus better on getting well.

 

What I really needed from my psych nurse was to understand what was going on. I needed answers that I just wasn't finding elsewhere. And I needed some perspective. I needed to know that it's okay to have a messy house, sometimes shit happens and you don't have the time to clean. I needed to know that I don't have to have it together all the time- no one else does. I needed to know that it is okay, that everything is okay, and that I will be okay. I still remember how fast I unravelled, and I do fear it happening again. My psych nurse has a lot more faith in me than I do in myself. But I'm sure it will come with time.

 

This new approach has helped me where the others failed. I gave my psych nurse curry the first couple of times I saw her. I wanted to believe someone could help me, truly I did. But I had not an ounce of trust for anyone in that field. and I was so angry and bitter about the bipolar blow I'd been dealt in life. She had to earn my trust before she could even begin working with me, and she did. She helped me overcome my anger, grief, and bitterness, and showed me that there was life beyond mental illness. A very sore point for me was I felt that I had lost my university degree, thanks to bipolar. But a few months ago, the idea of starting university came creeping back, and she encouraged me to give it a go. She told me I was at a point in my recovery where I was not ready for work again, but I was bored, and my overactive brain needed something to do, or else all the hard work I had done would start disintegrating. So I have signed up for uni again, this time completely online, through Open Universities. I think the course structure will work better for me- each unit is only 13 weeks, and they have four study periods a year, so I can do one subject per 13 week study period and come out with a degree in six years. My first unit starts in 18 days, and I am scared as all hell. But I'm going to give it a shot smile.png

 

Thanks for the resource, too, Brother Jeff, I will certainly look into it smile.png

 

I took Depakote (Sodium Valproate) for a while soon after I was diagnosed in 1998. It left me feeling drugged, zoned out. But the worst thing is that I attempted suicide with it twice, both times almost successful. I tried the stuff again a few years ago briefly, but again I just felt zoned out and I was uncomfortable having it around because... ya never know.

 

The seasons changing throws me off too. I know the seasons are reversed because we live in different hemispheres of the world, but here April means Spring and May means Summer is almost here. You would think I would be feeling GREAT, with the longer days, brighter sunlight, and much warmer temperatures. Instead I plunged into a major depression. I know it's an unpredictable illness, but that just doesn't compute for me. Wendyshrug.gif

 

I have tried Seroquel a couple of times, briefly. The first couple of times I took it, a few years ago, it made me very drowsy. I tried it again not long ago and a 50mg dose left me feeling sick in the middle of the night while I was up using the bathroom. I passed out twice and hit the sharp edge of the wall really hard both times. For whatever reason, my body just really doesn't like Seroquel!

 

head-to-wall.jpg

 

I don't handle stress well at all usually. I wish I could, but every time I take too much on like at school, I either fall back into substance abuse, start eating shit I know I should avoid like the plague, or just fall apart (depressive episode). Or, all of the above. The substance abuse and bad food choices just start the downward spiral going.

 

I still have strong urges to use. Being from Australia, I'm sure you've heard of Kava. I love that stuff!! I've tried the powdered stuff but it's like drinking dirt. I prefer the alcohol extract that is available here. Wow. It's expensive though, at $15 for a one ounce bottle. Dr. Rader (my psychiatrist) wants me to get into a substance abuse treatment program, but I don't know what they could tell me that I don't already know. I am willing to attend some AA meetings though, so that's on the schedule soon.

 

I'm glad you've had good luck with a holistic approach and found some good help. I have not had good luck either with the conventional medical establishment. Their idea of treatment mental illness seems to be, "Let's throw some drugs at it and hope for the best." If you are lucky enough to hit upon the right med(s) at the right dose(s), then that's great. But otherwise, it's not helpful. They also don't take into account food sensitivities, which often plays a significant role in causing symptoms. The naturopathic doctors I've seen have been more helpful to me overall, and they know about the food connection. What you eat has a huge effect on how you feel and how well your brain functions. That seems like it would be common sense, but it's commonly overlooked. Just the other day, while I was at a NAMI meeting, I watched this significantly overweight young woman chow down on all kinds of candy and chips and I'm thinking, "No wonder you feel like shit! Look at all the garbage you are shoveling into your body!" HELLO???? But of course I didn't say anything. Not my place. rolleyes.gif

 

Really glad you are getting back into school! Good luck with it! I hope to finish school myself sometime in the foreseeable future. I have a lot of college hours but I'm still about two years away from getting even a bachelors degree. Not many of the classes I have taken have been upper level credits. But hey, maybe by the time I'm 55 I'll have a degree. LOL I've taken several classes fairly recently at the University of Alaska Anchorage and I love the place. Hoping to be out there again soon!

 

I haven't worked in seven years. But I am giving some thought to trying out a part-time job, as soon as I can get stable enough and get my physical health in order too.

 

I'm reading a great book right now on managing Bipolar Disorder:

 

http://www.amazon.co...21073841&sr=1-4

 

The link goes to the "Bipolar Happens!" book on the US Amazon site, but you can hopefully find it there in Australia too.

 

Glory!

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Hey Brother Jeff :)

 

Sorry I can't write much in response, I have to get to bed. But I wanted to share with you this link:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Bipolar-Disorder-Insiders-Managing/dp/1741755468/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1321102088&sr=8-1

 

I call this book my bible, "Mastering Bipolar Disorder". it's a compilation of like 200 stories written by people with bipolar and their families. Every time I read it, I learn something new :) What I also love about it is that the stories range in size from a paragraph to a few pages, so it's easy to read when my brain is fuddled :)

 

I will check out your book :)

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I have a problem with talking to myself, I only realized it was a problem yesterday. I usually talk out loud to myself out loud during my commute, I thought it wwas a good thing, getting stuff off my chest, saying stuff to people I wish I had said years ago, etc.

 

So last night I'm driving and I felt like this is getting out of hand, let me see if I can refrain from talking out loud. I couldn't go 30 seconds! A thought would come into my head and my tongue would twitch and I'd be blurting out my thoughts! I bit down on my tongue, and if I had some tape I would have sealed my lips with it.

 

It took about 15 minutes of gently biting my tongue or extending outside my mouth as I drove, but I felt my head getting quieter and quieter and I felt much calmer.

 

I saw that talking out loud fuels the unwelcome thoughts in a bad way, so I have purchased some scotch tape and will be sealing my mouth with it for my commute on Monday.

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I have a problem with talking to myself, I only realized it was a problem yesterday. I usually talk out loud to myself out loud during my commute, I thought it wwas a good thing, getting stuff off my chest, saying stuff to people I wish I had said years ago, etc.

 

So last night I'm driving and I felt like this is getting out of hand, let me see if I can refrain from talking out loud. I couldn't go 30 seconds! A thought would come into my head and my tongue would twitch and I'd be blurting out my thoughts! I bit down on my tongue, and if I had some tape I would have sealed my lips with it.

 

It took about 15 minutes of gently biting my tongue or extending outside my mouth as I drove, but I felt my head getting quieter and quieter and I felt much calmer.

 

I saw that talking out loud fuels the unwelcome thoughts in a bad way, so I have purchased some scotch tape and will be sealing my mouth with it for my commute on Monday.

 

I read this a little while ago, and had a giggle to myself (no offense intended- I could just picture it all in my mind and it tickled my sense of humour).

 

So about 10 minutes later, I get up to make myself a cuppa, and find myself having a conversation with my cat, about how he lied to me when he told me he hadn't been fed (my fiancee had fed them earlier), when I could clearly see bikkies still in both their bowls, and I told him I was under no obligation to honour my promise to feed him then and there, because it was simply not time for dinner and he had lied to me. And THEN I started to admonish the two of them, because they had decided they didn't want their bikkies- they wanted their wet food, which is not on the menu until dinner. I told them they were the most spoilt cats I knew, they get the most expensive food I can buy, yet they turn their noses up at it because they suddenly decide they want wet food and not dry. And then I stopped, and thought to myself, good grief. I am not talking to my cats, I am having a full-blown conversation with them! And the worst part is, I do it so often that they meow whenever I pause to hear their response! But at least I didn't start the conversation with my cats- my cat started it with me! (This time, anyway :/)

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I have to disagree with HereticZero. Bipolar is a deadly disease that shouldn't be read about on the internet.

Get books written by a qualified doctors, and speak to others who live with the disease. I have had bipolar disorder for 20 years, numerous suicide attempts and my sister is dead from it. Take it seriously.

 

and yeah the religious experiences are part of mania....i go through it every month or so.

 

it's a lot more than irritating. it's debilitating.

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I was diagnosed as bipolar 6 years ago and put on Paxil and Lamictol. I went batshit crazy, attempted suicide twice, and finally quit taking the meds. Later found out I didn't have emotional problems. I'm diabetic. Thus my crazy emotional shifts were blood sugar problems and not serotonin levels in my brain. Anyway, through the magic of diet and exercise, I'm stable, healthy, and happy again.

 

good to hear. Unfortunately, I got it bad luck of being both diabetic and bipolar, and it's a wild wild ride!

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I have to disagree with HereticZero. Bipolar is a deadly disease that shouldn't be read about on the internet.

Get books written by a qualified doctors, and speak to others who live with the disease. I have had bipolar disorder for 20 years, numerous suicide attempts and my sister is dead from it. Take it seriously.

 

and yeah the religious experiences are part of mania....i go through it every month or so.

 

it's a lot more than irritating. it's debilitating.

 

What I found hardest in my journey, when I started learning how to manage bipolar, was that no-one prepared me for the ride I was in for. It was like they just thought, let's just chuck her on the meds and see how she goes. Until my psych nurse came along a year ago, and started explaining everything to me, I was in this constant state of bewilderment, wondering what the hell was going on. No-one seemed to understand how important it was to my ability to manage the condition to know the ins and outs. And I believe that fore-warned is fore-armed.

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I was diagnosed as bipolar 6 years ago and put on Paxil and Lamictol. I went batshit crazy, attempted suicide twice, and finally quit taking the meds. Later found out I didn't have emotional problems. I'm diabetic. Thus my crazy emotional shifts were blood sugar problems and not serotonin levels in my brain. Anyway, through the magic of diet and exercise, I'm stable, healthy, and happy again.

 

good to hear. Unfortunately, I got it bad luck of being both diabetic and bipolar, and it's a wild wild ride!

 

Did you get diabetes from the medication? If you don't mind me asking :)

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