blackpudd1n Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 You guys cheer me up. I bought a jawbreaker yesterday and today I tried to smach it with a hammer. That's my patience level right now. Oh and it did not work. Go to a charity store and buy old plates. It's very satisfying chucking them and watching them smash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PandaPirate Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 There's a book called SUGAR SHOCK and it talks about how Hypoglycemia mimics Bipolar Disorder. I also learned that M.D.'s recieve only about 1 hour of Nutrition during their 8 years in med school. Never, ever does a doctor ask me about my Diet, only my symptoms. I kept track of what I ate last week when I had a Mixed State episode that lasted nearly a week. There was coffee, chocolate, an entire 2 liter of Blood Red Orange juice (consumed in 3 hours) followed by a week of insomina. So, for the past three days I've stayed completely off sugar. Took a xanax yesterday morning and slept for 20 hours. I feel normal again. I'm going to change my diet now and see if I start feeling better because I'd rather not be at the mercy of a doctor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emme Posted December 7, 2011 Author Share Posted December 7, 2011 Just checking in. Panda, hows the diet going? I'm finally not manic, just depressed. Yay! Actually, it feels alright to be able to sleep and do nothing. I can't believe this is happening, but I'm trying not to loose my sense of humour. I guess it's possible to lead a "normal" life even thouh I'm now under the Bell Jar for real. Hmm. What did you do when you got your diagnosis? Doing nothing is damn boring i tell ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PandaPirate Posted December 13, 2011 Share Posted December 13, 2011 Diet is going fine but I did end up back in the hospital for five days. I had to get back on my meds, Zoloft, Trileptal and Klonopin. But Medicaid won't pay for my rozerem. Bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VacuumFlux Posted December 13, 2011 Share Posted December 13, 2011 I don't have bipolar and can't understand everything ya'll are going through, but I do want to offer some sort of supportive statement. I've got bad hypoglycemia that really messes with my head, and PMDD that occasionally triggers hypomanic episodes, and that is hell enough. I'm currently several months into a bad case a brain fog (seems to start after a few days of insomnia) and have a really hard time focusing at work. Sometimes I just wanna give up and start crying, execpt when I think about actually crying I'm too numb to remember what I was upset about. I hate the feeling that my own mind is beyond my control, and I think sometimes it takes me a while to get over an episode because I don't want to admit to myself just how bad I'm feeling. And there's no single thing I can do to make it better, I just have to learn to live with it and be careful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 I don't have bipolar and can't understand everything ya'll are going through, but I do want to offer some sort of supportive statement. I've got bad hypoglycemia that really messes with my head, and PMDD that occasionally triggers hypomanic episodes, and that is hell enough. I'm currently several months into a bad case a brain fog (seems to start after a few days of insomnia) and have a really hard time focusing at work. Sometimes I just wanna give up and start crying, execpt when I think about actually crying I'm too numb to remember what I was upset about. I hate the feeling that my own mind is beyond my control, and I think sometimes it takes me a while to get over an episode because I don't want to admit to myself just how bad I'm feeling. And there's no single thing I can do to make it better, I just have to learn to live with it and be careful. VF, you just described exactly how I felt all those years when I was really sick, with the exact same words I've used many times myself. I felt like there was a fog in my head, and I was lost and confused within that fog. I could no longer work out what was real and what wasn't, and I felt really, really dumb. And stupid. And completely and utterly helpless. They were the worst years of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 I lived with severe brain fog for years, so I can definitely relate. I am a very intelligent guy, but I thought at the speed of molasses back then and I felt really stupid, which meant that my already low self-esteem took some major hits. I'm not a saint about it but since then I have been eating a lot healthier, exercising, and I quit smoking nine years ago. All of that has helped tremendously! Glory! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 I'm not a saint about it but since then I have been eating a lot healthier, exercising, and I quit smoking nine years ago. All of that has helped tremendously! All of those accomplishments are things to be proud of. It's good to hear from you again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wester Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 It is best to accept any labels or diagnoses given to you by others with a healthy grain of salt. You are ultimately yourself and not the opinion of others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PandaPirate Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 It is best to accept any labels or diagnoses given to you by others with a healthy grain of salt. You are ultimately yourself and not the opinion of others. ????HUH???? Bipolar disorder is a chemical disorder of the brain. Not an "opinion" or a label. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted December 15, 2011 Moderator Share Posted December 15, 2011 I say this very softly. I often wonder if everyone had enough money, food, security, a roof over everyone's head, good relationships..... where you could totally be yourself, not so much responsibility, and a life without too much 'trauma' and chaos' - would there be as much bi-polar personalities as there is? I think being human makes you bi-polar........the way this earth is run anyway.......We do need a 'new kingdom', with sensible people running it...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I say this very softly. I often wonder if everyone had enough money, food, security, a roof over everyone's head, good relationships..... where you could totally be yourself, not so much responsibility, and a life without too much 'trauma' and chaos' - would there be as much bi-polar personalities as there is? I think being human makes you bi-polar........the way this earth is run anyway.......We do need a 'new kingdom', with sensible people running it...... Unfortunately, bipolar would most likely still be around, Margee. There is a genetic component to the condition, stronger in some than others. But in a perfect world, we would have access to good healthcare and support, free of charge, and would be accepted by the community at large, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 My aunt is bipolar. She has this tendency to stop taking her meds because she doesn't like the way it makes her feel. Then she goes into bad episode where she mumbles strange things and goes around trying to steal any medications she can get high off of. On one of her more recent episodes she threatened to cut a cop's head off with a samurai sword... The moral of that story? Take your meds, no matter how they make you feel. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 My aunt is bipolar. She has this tendency to stop taking her meds because she doesn't like the way it makes her feel. Then she goes into bad episode where she mumbles strange things and goes around trying to steal any medications she can get high off of. On one of her more recent episodes she threatened to cut a cop's head off with a samurai sword... The moral of that story? Take your meds, no matter how they make you feel. Yeah, I don't go to those extremes off my meds, but I do turn into a major bitch. I forgot to take some meds the other day, and by the afternoon I was being a right royal cow. After a while I went and saw my fiancee, told him I hadn't taken my meds, and he was like, "no shit!" lol. I'm not generally a bitch, so it's pretty obvious when I've missed a dose lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emme Posted October 17, 2012 Author Share Posted October 17, 2012 Hi guys, long time no see! Just wanted to tell you that I'm so greatful for all your replies. I'm doing much better. I'm stable though lightly depressed. I have trouble motivating myself to do things and take charge of my life, but at least I'm sane. Thank you for posting in this thread at a time when I really needed it! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Hi guys, long time no see! Just wanted to tell you that I'm so greatful for all your replies. I'm doing much better. I'm stable though lightly depressed. I have trouble motivating myself to do things and take charge of my life, but at least I'm sane. Thank you for posting in this thread at a time when I really needed it! Great to hear- I have wondered how you were Hope you continue going from strength to strength in your recovery Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wester Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." - Steve Winteburn I hate to nag, but it is just my opinion that Bi-polar is radically over-diagnosed, since I personally know about 2 dozen people who have recently received this diagnosis. And 25 years ago, and in all the intervening time, each of these individuals seemed rather fine and well adjusted to me. Sometimes it seems now that 1/5 to 1/4 of all humanity is now "bi-polar" or "depressed" or whatever according to the DSM psychologists who are the same people who advise the US government on how to torture Muslims at Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib. I have heard these biological claims so often that I wonder just how in the hell the human race was able to actually survive and pro-create for hundred of thousands of years with so many imbalances. I am not trying to denigrate or belittle your personal experiences, but my mother and cousin and brother and father are all now officially mentally ill - and they all signed off on it and accept the claim that they are somehow chemically imbalanced. But from where I am sitting it looks like a horseshit campaign by a bunch of greedy uber-capitalist fuksticks who are more concerned about pimping pills and taking hard-core advantage of people's insecurities with power plays and mind-fuks. I have been out of the USA for 10 years now because I think it is a deadly toxic society that amazingly mysteriously produces gigantic swaths of population on an industrial scale that are now miraculously somehow "chemically imbalanced". And I also believe that the states and "the west" in general are institutionally racist, misogynist, classist, unjust and hyper violent on a scale that makes Clockwork Orange look like Bambi. And that most of the people who could fix this situation are making to much money to do anything about it. And having grown up in the US and watched two of my best friends study and become doctors, I find the entire health "care" system to be completely and utterly corrupt - and to provide as much health and as much care as a BDSM torture chamber run by crazed cannibalistic sociopaths. But that is just me. I have been checking out these websites in order to try to deal with my family's problems http://www.madnessradio.net/ http://www.madinamerica.com/ http://willhall.net/comingoffmeds/ http://brucelevine.net/ http://theicarusproject.net/ And it has given me a helpful perspective and many things to consider. I do not mean to downplay or give disrespect to anyone else's experiences in any way. OK - cheers and good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen652 Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 ^^^ so..."it's all in your head you delusional pill-popping idiots. Cheers and good luck." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voice Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Hi everybody. It's been a while. Sorry to just burst in unannounced with questions, but I need u guys right now. I've been given a diagnosis: Bipolar. I'm trying to cope and keep coming back to religion and black-white thoughts. Does anybody here have any experience you would like to share. I feel Christianity is connected to my disorder, but I can't clarify better. Any takers? Emme Hi Emme. I haven't read any other replies yet, but I will. I was undiagnosed as a christian and it was a hell of a ride. Religion aggravates the condition, and visa versa. My brother, still a christian, told me something recently. He told me he and some others in his church were discussing the conversion to christianity of a bipolar person. My brother, having seen both me (bipolar type II) and my psychotic dad (bipolar type I) go over cliffs with religion, said to them that religion and bipolar don't mix; that this guy was better off not being saved. He's right. I must say I was proud to hear him say that. I drew a chart of my own manic and depressive episodes from birth to now, to try and understand patterns, triggers and other things. When I was a christian for 2 years there's a spike in mania that goes off the chart. It was the worst manic episode of my life and it lasted 2 years. It was also the most counter-productive of them all. Most of my manic stints are profoundly creative and insightful. Severe depression made it's way in by the end. My separation from the doctrines and prayer and all that was probably aided by a manic slant because I took the role of a prophet like Jeremiah or one of those. Thought I was a prophet. I acted and talked like one and took on the church elders. Now I know better, but at least it was an effective tool for getting out. I'll read the rest of the thread... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Babylonian Dream Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 I remember as a christian, I made my own brand when deconverting. I just knew I had the solution to all the worlds problems. I was going to, when I grew up, divide the temple mount between muslims, jews, and christians. I didn't know it wouldn't work, I was manic. It would be a nice idea though, far more of a reasonable idea than I've heard from anyone over there. Guess at my worst I was saner than alot of christians, muslims and jews with no diagnosis. I didn't quite think I was a prophet, just a visionary who knew the way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." - Steve Winteburn I hate to nag, but it is just my opinion that Bi-polar is radically over-diagnosed, since I personally know about 2 dozen people who have recently received this diagnosis. And 25 years ago, and in all the intervening time, each of these individuals seemed rather fine and well adjusted to me. Sometimes it seems now that 1/5 to 1/4 of all humanity is now "bi-polar" or "depressed" or whatever according to the DSM psychologists who are the same people who advise the US government on how to torture Muslims at Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib. I have heard these biological claims so often that I wonder just how in the hell the human race was able to actually survive and pro-create for hundred of thousands of years with so many imbalances. I am not trying to denigrate or belittle your personal experiences, but my mother and cousin and brother and father are all now officially mentally ill - and they all signed off on it and accept the claim that they are somehow chemically imbalanced. But from where I am sitting it looks like a horseshit campaign by a bunch of greedy uber-capitalist fuksticks who are more concerned about pimping pills and taking hard-core advantage of people's insecurities with power plays and mind-fuks. I have been out of the USA for 10 years now because I think it is a deadly toxic society that amazingly mysteriously produces gigantic swaths of population on an industrial scale that are now miraculously somehow "chemically imbalanced". And I also believe that the states and "the west" in general are institutionally racist, misogynist, classist, unjust and hyper violent on a scale that makes Clockwork Orange look like Bambi. And that most of the people who could fix this situation are making to much money to do anything about it. And having grown up in the US and watched two of my best friends study and become doctors, I find the entire health "care" system to be completely and utterly corrupt - and to provide as much health and as much care as a BDSM torture chamber run by crazed cannibalistic sociopaths. But that is just me. I have been checking out these websites in order to try to deal with my family's problems http://www.madnessradio.net/ http://www.madinamerica.com/ http://willhall.net/comingoffmeds/ http://brucelevine.net/ http://theicarusproject.net/ And it has given me a helpful perspective and many things to consider. I do not mean to downplay or give disrespect to anyone else's experiences in any way. OK - cheers and good luck I agree that depression at least is overdiagnosed. I also don't doubt that some not-so-awesome doctors like to go throwing around those diagnoses willy-nilly to make more money off their patients. I don't know if I buy into the whole scheme thing you seem to though. I don't think bipolar is quite as abused as a diagnosis. I have depression of a genetic variety (also linked to my ADD) and various anti-depressants have proven to help. My aunt has become drastically better after being on medication for bipolar. I think a large part of there being an increase in diagnoses is that our society is becoming more aware of the signs of these disorders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voice Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 I've also improved significantly with lithium. It's affect on me was so stabilizing that for the first two years I thought of it as sacred. The best thing about it is that it's one of the more abundant elements on Earth, and it super cheap. I get mine for $9.00/month at an outlet store like Costco, Sam's, if you're familiar with either of those. One pharmacy wanted to charge close to $100./month for it so I had to shop around. I shared your perspective for decades, DelSol. I still do for quite a few things, and I agree with you on how the pharmaceuticals industry covertly proliferates its interests. I don't have evidence to support this as I'm not a doctor, but I've come to believe that an amendment has been made to the vow doctors take, which includes a statement of loyalty and service to the pharmaceuticals industry. I denied I had any kind of condition, up until I was so severely depressed (just 3 years ago) that all I could think about was how to die and my parents intervened. Up until then people always had an opinion that I was, to quote, "kind of crazy", but no one seemed to know quite why, myself included. I got one opinion from a therapist, and two others from doctors. They all agreed. The doctor I worked with most tested me quantitatively and plotted me on a chart based on honest answers to questions about sleep patterns, appetite, relationships and sex drive, suicidal thoughts, exercise, goals, etc. My condition is genetic also. Type II bipolar's are usually the first-born offsprings of type I's. I'm first born, and my loopy dad is type I. Type I is characterized by much less depression and spats of mania that are severely delusional, approaching psychotic. Here's an example of where religion and bipolar don't mix, he flipped on a sort of Abraham complex, thinking he had to make a human sacrifice to appease God and save the world. Yay to being his first born. Type II is characterized mostly be severe depression with spats of mania. Type II mania can be anything from intense, productive creativity or spurts of super-motivation, to debilitating social anxiety and enflamed anger. During christianity mine became delusional. Like I said, it was the worst episode I've ever had. I've found some depression and bipolar support groups online, where it's plain to see that none of these people are mis-diagnosed. It's interesting to learn all the things we have in common. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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