Jesus Was A Pimp?

[mymistake]

The kingdom of heaven is like ten virgins waiting for a man.  The man told those virgins to keep their lubrication oil ready.  Five virgins did what they were told.  The other five didn't.  When the man showed up he slapped the five who didn't listen.  Then the man took the five who knew their place and they had one wild party.

 

Now all ya'all look out because you are the virgins and the Son of Man told you to be ready for him.  You go put on something nice if you know what is good for you.

 

-Jesus the Pimp

Matthew 25:1-13

[gseeker]

The kingdom of heaven is like ten virgins waiting for a man. The man told those virgins to keep their lubrication oil ready. Five virgins did what they were told. The other five didn't. When the man showed up he slapped the five who didn't listen. Then the man took the five who knew their place and they had one wild party.

 

Now all ya'all look out because you are the virgins and the Son of Man told you to be ready for him. You go put on something nice if you know what is good for you.

 

ROFLMAO, i am so putting this as my facebook status. My old church and christian friends will be enraged beyond belief!

 

-Jesus the Pimp

Matthew 25:1-13

[gseeker]

Lets look at motivation. http://www.answering-christianity.com/questions.htm

 

Now, if jesus didnt claim to be god as we were taught then why was he killed? I submit to you that jesus the pimp had some badass hoes and the the relgious leaders of the day (including Saul later renamed Paul) were lossing money because of that wet ve jay jay. They couldnt fight him face to face, after all he rolled around with a posee carrying weapons. Hell jesus himself was bad enough spitting on people throwing mud and even busting out his pimp whip.

 

So jesus dies but his hoes start a rummer that he came back to life, the party keeps going, then paul enters the scene. Mr. Buzzkillingsworth. He starts dirrecting the religion at the gentiles because the jews would not share a religion with the gentiles even if there were hoes. It was a east side west side kind of thang.

 

Then as if that wasnt bad enough, to insure that other hebrew men wouldnt sign on for the jesus experience he made christianity anti-sex.

[miekko]

 

 

Luke 8:1-3: Afterward [Jesus] journeyed from one town and village to another, preaching and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. Accompanying him were the Twelve and some women who had been cured of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, Joanna, the wife of Herod's steward Chuza, Susanna, and many others who provided for them out of their resources

 

 

 

Notice though, these prostitutes, his camp followers provided for him. We pretty much know that during that time period and the culture that there was pretty much only one kind of job that these woman would have been allowed to do to even provide for jesus.

No, we don't know that. We actually pretty much explicitly know women could take some other works - day labor on farms was probably a rather important source of income. We find that very notion mentioned in the OT, even. In a primarily agricultural society, this would not be much of a surprise and anyone who cares to think about it would realize this.

Ill have to look into that, however everything ive read so far states that women had no rights and werent workers in that society. Notice also that for them to suport jesus and his ministry i dont think a simple farmhands wage do too much.

 

What kind of expenses do you imagine they had? Expensive venues? Renting power amplifiers? Laser shows? 

 

Seriously though, the idea that women had no rights is a myth. Certainly, they had *fewer* rights than men, but they weren't entirely without them. In an agricultural society - like almost all societies around the mediterranean were - women obviously would do work in the agricultural activities. The Catholic Encyclopedia says (and I know it's not the most credible source, but bear with me): "The duties of a woman, as such and as a wife and mother, were heavy both physically and morally. The work in and about the home devolved upon her, even to the pitching of the tent, as also the work of the field with the men at certain seasons. The position of the man as father and as the head of the household was of course superior to that of the wife; upon him devolved the duty and care of the training of the children, when they had reached acertain age, as also the offering of sacrifices, which necessarily included the slaughtering of domestic animals, and the conduct of all devotional and ritualistic services." (http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02548a.htm)

 

Talmudic law - which granted was codified a few centuries later - gives women right to own property separately from their husbands. We cannot know how early this law was in effect prior to being codified though, as the rabbis generally resisted writing these laws down until Judah HaNasi. But we can find rights ascribed to women much earlier, see e.g. the goddamn bible. (E.g. exodus 21:10)

 

However, it's common both among Christians and atheists - for very different reasons - to exaggerate the lack of rights among women in NT times; Christian benefit from making the pharisees and judaism seem more cruel than they were. Atheists benefit from making Christians come off as not having improved much since those times. I would like to know where you've read that they had no rights, though.

[gseeker]

 

 

 

 

Luke 8:1-3: Afterward [Jesus] journeyed from one town and village to another, preaching and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. Accompanying him were the Twelve and some women who had been cured of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, Joanna, the wife of Herod's steward Chuza, Susanna, and many others who provided for them out of their resources

 

 

 

Notice though, these prostitutes, his camp followers provided for him. We pretty much know that during that time period and the culture that there was pretty much only one kind of job that these woman would have been allowed to do to even provide for jesus.

No, we don't know that. We actually pretty much explicitly know women could take some other works - day labor on farms was probably a rather important source of income. We find that very notion mentioned in the OT, even. In a primarily agricultural society, this would not be much of a surprise and anyone who cares to think about it would realize this.

Ill have to look into that, however everything ive read so far states that women had no rights and werent workers in that society. Notice also that for them to suport jesus and his ministry i dont think a simple farmhands wage do too much.

What kind of expenses do you imagine they had? Expensive venues? Renting power amplifiers? Laser shows?

 

Seriously though, the idea that women had no rights is a myth. Certainly, they had *fewer* rights than men, but they weren't entirely without them. In an agricultural society - like almost all societies around the mediterranean were - women obviously would do work in the agricultural activities. The Catholic Encyclopedia says (and I know it's not the most credible source, but bear with me): "The duties of a woman, as such and as a wife and mother, were heavy both physically and morally. The work in and about the home devolved upon her, even to the pitching of the tent, as also the work of the field with the men at certain seasons. The position of the man as father and as the head of the household was of course superior to that of the wife; upon him devolved the duty and care of the training of the children, when they had reached acertain age, as also the offering of sacrifices, which necessarily included the slaughtering of domestic animals, and the conduct of all devotional and ritualistic services." (http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02548a.htm)

 

Talmudic law - which granted was codified a few centuries later - gives women right to own property separately from their husbands. We cannot know how early this law was in effect prior to being codified though, as the rabbis generally resisted writing these laws down until Judah HaNasi. But we can find rights ascribed to women much earlier, see e.g. the goddamn bible. (E.g. exodus 21:10)

 

However, it's common both among Christians and atheists - for very different reasons - to exaggerate the lack of rights among women in NT times; Christian benefit from making the pharisees and judaism seem more cruel than they were. Atheists benefit from making Christians come off as not having improved much since those times. I would like to know where you've read that they had no rights, though.

As to my sources pretty much every site ive come across secular, religious, and anti-religious say the same thing over and over. If i said they had no rights im sorry, what i meant to say is that they had almost no rights and were one step above slaves, they were the property of husbands and fathers. If you had a robot, your property do work for you to whom does the money that robot made belong to? It would belong to you because the robot is your property. That is how women were viewed.

 

Men in that society were to always come first before the woman and if a job was availible i seriously dont think a woman would be hired before a man especially for physical labor.

 

Also you mentioned accurances in the bible of working women, does that mean you believe the bible is a source of reliable information? If so i would have to ask what you are doing on this site other than obviously trying to defend Big daddy jesus and his honor.

 

Please, i know this is a hard thing to ask but, please use reason and common sence. If men are given rights to work before women, how many women do you think actually got paying jobs? The women supported themselves, jesus, and at the least the 12 with him. Women were also primarily uneducated during that time period and if they could somehow find a job no man wanted to do it would be one with very little pay.

 

I dont know about you but even in this modern world i sometimes find it hard to put food on my own table much less try and feed 13+ people daily.

 

(That doesnt even take into account clothing and general cost of living)

 

There would be only one way for those women to make that kind of money and support that many people daily.

[gseeker]

HOLY CRAP IT SEEMS IM NOT THE FIRST GUY WHO FIGURED IT OUT!"!!

http://evangelicaltextualcriticism.blogspot.com/2012/09/was-mrs-jesus-pimped.html?m=1

[kolaida]

Jesus himself never even spoke against sex just adultery. Even when he spoke against lust the one time in the new testament the word for lust in greek actually means unlawful desire and that leads me to think that again he was speaking against adultery.

 

WHAT?!?! I was scared to even THINK about guys for the longest time for fear of committing the sin of lust!! 

 

 

 

Jesus himself never even spoke against sex just adultery. Even when he spoke against lust the one time in the new testament the word for lust in greek actually means unlawful desire and that leads me to think that again he was speaking against adultery.

 

So lust actually means desiring women that are already married, not single ones? If I had known that, it would have made things SO MUCH EASIER when I was still a Christian.

 

 

Tell me about it!!! 

 

At this point, I don't t think anything would surprise me. I've always thought, Jesus was ultimately human. Even if you ARE a Christian, you still have to accept Jesus was human and had functioning body parts. I always had trouble accepting Jesus never did anything sexual. I mean, he sounded like a popular guy (assuming he was real). 

[gseeker]

http://archives.religionnews.com/faith/beliefs/harvard-theological-review-gospel-of-jesus-wife-not-rejected

[miekko]

Also you mentioned accurances in the bible of working women, does that mean you believe the bible is a source of reliable information? If so i would have to ask what you are doing on this site other than obviously trying to defend Big daddy jesus and his honor.

 

.. That's a fucking nasty accusation based on no evidence whatsoever in favor of it! Those are almost fighting words there. Think about it, there are things we can learn from the Bible. Seriously. Loads of things. You have to be willfully obtuse not to realize that. Among the things we can learn from it - and in a sense the only things, really - are what attitudes and expectations and beliefs were held by the scribes who wrote these things. These scribes are very likely to use scenes from their daily lives to create their stories; I am pretty sure Leah and Rachel and the other women mentioned in Genesis never existed - but I do think the author was basing some of it off what women were expected to be doing in similar circumstances. By reading the biblical texts, we do learn things. Not the things that the author explicitly tries teaching us - that David killed so and so many, and that his heroes lifted their swords up and killed so and so many, etc - those probably are at the very least strong exaggerations or even just made up - but the fact that the authors thought those things were significant or that they had few or no qualms about mentioning women doing work - these are things that do tell us something! And these authors were influential on their culture in the subsequent centuries - so, for the authors of Proverbs, Ruth, the pentateuch, etc, their influence was probably seen at the time Jesus supposedly lived. 

 

Besides, you too are using the Bible as though it were a credible source here! If you believe it's a credible source, why are you here!?

 

If men are given rights to work before women, how many women do you think actually got paying jobs? The women supported themselves, jesus, and at the least the 12 with him. Women were also primarily uneducated during that time period and if they could somehow find a job no man wanted to do it would be one with very little pay.

Men were also primarily uneducated! But, as luck would have it, few jobs at the time required education.

In addition, there is the Jewish law of gleanings from the unharvested edges of the fields - any poor person could go and gather grain that had been left behind after the first harvest. This wasn't even something one had to be employed for, but could be done by anyone - including women. Also, middle eastern culture much like european culture divide the various kinds of tasks people do in female and male kinds - and there was a need for the female kinds of work as well. Apparently, just like in Europe, work with fabric and clothing seems to have been considered female work - see e.g. Proverbs 31:10 and onwards. 

 

"Please, i know this is a hard thing to ask but, please use reason and common sence."

 

 

 

I am doing so, way more than you, it appears! Please, I know this is a hard thing to ask, but try not being a prejudiced prick who assumes anyone who mentions the bible as some kind of useful source of knowledge is a full-on religious nut. Especially when you are using it just as much as a piece of evidence in a much less informed fashion.

[pandora]

He admonished the woman at the well to sin no more... so I assume that means Jesus wouldn't have actually orchestrated business for prostitutes.

 

Anyway, does it even matter?  I don't really care what Jesus did or didn't do... we will never know the truth.     I just take the good nuggets from the Bible and discard the rest.   I am indifferent to whether Jesus was gay, a pimp, or schizophrenic.  

[Thackerie]

Huh, I'd always assumed that the women who followed him around had family money. How else would they be wealthy enough to travel? Maybe they were widows. Or some of them were the disciples' moms. So I'd always looked at it as upper class women having a hobby. Never occured to me that they were making income as they traveled, instead of just spending money that they already had.

 

That's how I was taught. I don't know if it's true. But it sure makes more sense than speculating that Jesus was a pimp with a traveling road show.

[Thackerie]

It is common knowledge that Jesus hung out with prostitutes... but to actually purport he was the pimp seems a little preposterous.   I think back in this time that women were a little more independent in their profession, but I could be wrong.

 

Well, who ever wrote Psalms 31 -- which, I believe, long predates the New Testament -- certainly thought women could do a lot more than prostitute themselves:

 

Proverbs 31:10-31

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

¹¹ The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

¹² She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

¹³ She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

¹⁴ She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

¹⁵ She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

¹⁶ She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

¹⁷ She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

¹⁸ She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

¹⁹ She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

²⁰ She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

²¹ She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

²² She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

²³ Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

²⁴ She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

²⁵ Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

²⁶ She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

²⁷ She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

²⁸ Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

²⁹ Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

³⁰ Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

 

Speculating that Jesus was a pimp seems ridiculous to me.

[gseeker]

He admonished the woman at the well to sin no more... so I assume that means Jesus wouldn't have actually orchestrated business for prostitutes.

 

Anyway, does it even matter? I don't really care what Jesus did or didn't do... we will never know the truth. I just take the good nuggets from the Bible and discard the rest. I am indifferent to whether Jesus was gay, a pimp, or schizophrenic.

Prostitution wasnt againt rabbanical law, as a matter of fact it went hand in hand with a lot of religious institutes.

[gseeker]

 

 

Huh, I'd always assumed that the women who followed him around had family money. How else would they be wealthy enough to travel? Maybe they were widows. Or some of them were the disciples' moms. So I'd always looked at it as upper class women having a hobby. Never occured to me that they were making income as they traveled, instead of just spending money that they already had.

That's how I was taught. I don't know if it's true. But it sure makes more sense than speculating that Jesus was a pimp with a traveling road show.

And for a while you believed a man was god, born of a virgin and died for the sins of all mankind.......

[gseeker]

 

 

Also you mentioned accurances in the bible of working women, does that mean you believe the bible is a source of reliable information? If so i would have to ask what you are doing on this site other than obviously trying to defend Big daddy jesus and his honor.

 

.. That's a fucking nasty accusation based on no evidence whatsoever in favor of it! Those are almost fighting words there. Think about it, there are things we can learn from the Bible. Seriously. Loads of things. You have to be willfully obtuse not to realize that. Among the things we can learn from it - and in a sense the only things, really - are what attitudes and expectations and beliefs were held by the scribes who wrote these things. These scribes are very likely to use scenes from their daily lives to create their stories; I am pretty sure Leah and Rachel and the other women mentioned in Genesis never existed - but I do think the author was basing some of it off what women were expected to be doing in similar circumstances. By reading the biblical texts, we do learn things. Not the things that the author explicitly tries teaching us - that David killed so and so many, and that his heroes lifted their swords up and killed so and so many, etc - those probably are at the very least strong exaggerations or even just made up - but the fact that the authors thought those things were significant or that they had few or no qualms about mentioning women doing work - these are things that do tell us something! And these authors were influential on their culture in the subsequent centuries - so, for the authors of Proverbs, Ruth, the pentateuch, etc, their influence was probably seen at the time Jesus supposedly lived.

 

Besides, you too are using the Bible as though it were a credible source here! If you believe it's a credible source, why are you here!?

 

If men are given rights to work before women, how many women do you think actually got paying jobs? The women supported themselves, jesus, and at the least the 12 with him. Women were also primarily uneducated during that time period and if they could somehow find a job no man wanted to do it would be one with very little pay.

Men were also primarily uneducated! But, as luck would have it, few jobs at the time required education.

In addition, there is the Jewish law of gleanings from the unharvested edges of the fields - any poor person could go and gather grain that had been left behind after the first harvest. This wasn't even something one had to be employed for, but could be done by anyone - including women. Also, middle eastern culture much like european culture divide the various kinds of tasks people do in female and male kinds - and there was a need for the female kinds of work as well. Apparently, just like in Europe, work with fabric and clothing seems to have been considered female work - see e.g. Proverbs 31:10 and onwards.

"Please, i know this is a hard thing to ask but, please use reason and common sence."

 

I am doing so, way more than you, it appears! Please, I know this is a hard thing to ask, but try not being a prejudiced prick who assumes anyone who mentions the bible as some kind of useful source of knowledge is a full-on religious nut. Especially when you are using it just as much as a piece of evidence in a much less informed fashion.

Fighting words? Its okay, i promiss not to turn the other cheek. You got me, i am using the bible as a source, of course to christians it the ultimate authority and im using it to discredit christianity and jesus, you on the other hand are using it for yourself as a credible source of information. Id recommand you read some of Dr. Bart Ehrmans work to see how worthless the bible really is. Its not even worth the paper it is written on unless you want to roll a joint with it.

[gseeker]

 

 

It is common knowledge that Jesus hung out with prostitutes... but to actually purport he was the pimp seems a little preposterous. I think back in this time that women were a little more independent in their profession, but I could be wrong.

Well, who ever wrote Psalms 31 -- which, I believe, long predates the New Testament -- certainly thought women could do a lot more than prostitute themselves:

 

Proverbs 31:10-31

King James Version (KJV)

 

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

¹¹ The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

¹² She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

¹³ She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

¹⁴ She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

¹⁵ She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

¹⁶ She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

¹⁷ She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

¹⁸ She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

¹⁹ She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

²⁰ She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

²¹ She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

²² She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

²³ Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

²⁴ She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

²⁵ Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

²⁶ She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

²⁷ She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

²⁸ Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

²⁹ Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

³⁰ Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

 

Speculating that Jesus was a pimp seems ridiculous to me.

Wrong time period, or would you like someone to read how women were treated 200 years ago and think thats how women are treated in this day and age.

[mymistake]

 

 

Speculating that Jesus was a pimp seems ridiculous to me.

 

 

Yes it's ridiculous.  Christ didn't even exist in the first place.  He never did anything at all because he wasn't real.  My interest in this exercise is just looking at how the poorly-written New Testament leaves itself open to nearly any interpretation.

[gseeker]

 

 

 

 

 

Speculating that Jesus was a pimp seems ridiculous to me.

 

Yes it's ridiculous. Christ didn't even exist in the first place. He never did anything at all because he wasn't real. My interest in this exercise is just looking at how the poorly-written New Testament leaves itself open to nearly any interpretation.

Thank you!!! Finally someone gets it. If christians can interperate the NT to say that jesus is the son of god come to save us from sin, then i can interperate the bible to say that jesus was a pimp who became the super pimp of the hebrews and died because he was costing the sanhedrin too many followers and money. Hopefully such an interpretation will help discredit christianity.

[Thackerie]

 

 

 

Speculating that Jesus was a pimp seems ridiculous to me.

 

 

Yes it's ridiculous.  Christ didn't even exist in the first place.  He never did anything at all because he wasn't real.  My interest in this exercise is just looking at how the poorly-written New Testament leaves itself open to nearly any interpretation.

 

 

Oh. Well, OK then. I guess he fooled me, and I thought he was trying to posit this as real, academic research. Carry on.

[gseeker]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Speculating that Jesus was a pimp seems ridiculous to me.

 

Yes it's ridiculous. Christ didn't even exist in the first place. He never did anything at all because he wasn't real. My interest in this exercise is just looking at how the poorly-written New Testament leaves itself open to nearly any interpretation.

Oh. Well, OK then. I guess he fooled me, and I thought he was trying to posit this as real, academic research. Carry on.

No but i need to try and make it look like academic research so keep throwing out objections so i can figure out how to talk around objections and if you can throw me somethings historical or scriptural that i can use to support my "theory",

[gseeker]

I dont know if its funny or sad but i do have a few people in my hometown believing that jesus was a pimp now, however they have still refused to drop thier son of god who died for our sins part. Lol So now in thier minds it the pimp who died for our sins. Lol

[kolaida]

 

It is common knowledge that Jesus hung out with prostitutes... but to actually purport he was the pimp seems a little preposterous.   I think back in this time that women were a little more independent in their profession, but I could be wrong.

 

Well, who ever wrote Psalms 31 -- which, I believe, long predates the New Testament -- certainly thought women could do a lot more than prostitute themselves:

 

Proverbs 31:10-31

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

¹¹ The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

¹² She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

¹³ She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

¹⁴ She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

¹⁵ She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

¹⁶ She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

¹⁷ She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

¹⁸ She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

¹⁹ She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

²⁰ She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

²¹ She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

²² She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

²³ Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

²⁴ She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

²⁵ Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

²⁶ She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

²⁷ She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

²⁸ Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

²⁹ Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

³⁰ Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

 

Speculating that Jesus was a pimp seems ridiculous to me.

 

 

Good old Proverbs 31! I was homeschooled for a couple years, had to memorize and be tested on it. A few years later, had to attend a Woman's Bible Study based on the chapter. This is supposed to be THE thing Christian women are supposed to emulate. I never got it, because frankly my mother never acted this way though she seemed to think she did. I wish I had tried a little harder to emulate HER instead of this stupid chapter. Might have actually gotten me somewhere in life.  

 

 

Also, on another note, pretty sure history itself says that women had little rights in the New Testament age. I mean, pretty sure it's not a secret. Just because a woman could work in fabrics or sew some clothes doesn't mean she had rights. I mean, women in the States could do that in the 1800s and they didn't exactly have nearly as many rights as men. 

[Joshpantera]

Funny stuff. Adding to this theme we may consider that the Jesus myth as midrash could have been oriented to play out this way. There's a lineage of named prostitutes in the OT leading into the Jesus story.

 

Back during the Monica Lewinsky scandal my grandfather was convinced that it was a Jewish conspiracy aimed at going after the leader of the US. He was an old cuss of a sailor and I just laughed the whole thing off as part of his dated anti-Semitic attitude. But then he started coming out with evidence of the Bible painting a picture of Jews throughout history (or Biblical pseudo-history rather) intentionally sending women in to bang some King or Leader in some type of pre-meditated action against the said leader. Abraham even pimped out his sister / wife to the Pharoh of Egypt which makes it all the more bloody obvious. Also Ester and many more examples. So this started turning out funnier and funnier the more I let the old man ramble on and lay out his case.

 

And you can follow this theme right into the lineage of Jesus and see how if the writers actually did intend for these female followers to be prostitutes providing money or whatever for Jesus, then it ties right into the same midrash and OT quote mining that the rest of the Jesus myth utilizes. If this is true then certainly there was some intention given by the writers towards seeding the story with 'Jewish ho's for Jesus...' 

[miekko]

Funny stuff. Adding to this theme we may consider that the Jesus myth as midrash could have been oriented to play out this way. There's a lineage of named prostitutes in the OT leading into the Jesus story.

 

Back during the Monica Lewinsky scandal my grandfather was convinced that it was a Jewish conspiracy aimed at going after the leader of the US. He was an old cuss of a sailor and I just laughed the whole thing off as part of his dated anti-Semitic attitude. But then he started coming out with evidence of the Bible painting a picture of Jews throughout history (or Biblical pseudo-history rather) intentionally sending women in to bang some King or Leader in some type of pre-meditated action against the said leader. Abraham even pimped out his sister / wife to the Pharoh of Egypt which makes it all the more bloody obvious. Also Ester and many more examples. So this started turning out funnier and funnier the more I let the old man ramble on and lay out his case.

 

And you can follow this theme right into the lineage of Jesus and see how if the writers actually did intend for these female followers to be prostitutes providing money or whatever for Jesus, then it ties right into the same midrash and OT quote mining that the rest of the Jesus myth utilizes. If this is true then certainly there was some intention given by the writers towards seeding the story with 'Jewish ho's for Jesus...' 

You should definitely read a midrash sometime. They are quite different from what you seem to believe they are like.

[Joshpantera]

The gospels are midrash, quote mining the OT, and various other things. I'm just stating a very well known understanding and relating it to the usage of Jewish prostitutes in the OT and why that tendency may have transferred over into the NT, along with everything else from the OT that transferred over...