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Goodbye Jesus

Speaking In Tongues?


Stephen_Richard_Webb

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Something just occured to me - those idiot televangelists that "speak in tongues" aren't even portraying the passage in the bible [bable?] where the disciples are speaking to each person in the crowd in their native tongue while actually speaking in their own...I think its more like a decent representation of the story where god confounds the one language of man making his words sound like lunacy - the speaker may know what they are saying [or do they?], but the crowd sure as hell doesn't. If the bible god is real, then I guess we can look forward to every one of them drowning in a flood, or maybe their bath tub, or even in the baptismal?

 

-Just a thought, what do you guys think?

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I used to speak in 'tongues'... so did my wife. I've seen people get taught to just make nonsense syllables and tell themselves it's a 'tongue'. I've heard people whose tongues were, fr'instance, "dee dee dee dee dee dee" over and over. It's all emotionalistic bullshit. I've been in the presence of 'preachers' trying to convince a crowd that they were preaching in 'tongues' (not a sentence or so; the WHOLE sermon). I could get anyone who wanted to believe that shit to just start babbling and convince them it's 'tongues'. In fact, I used to do just that as an evangelist for the Lard. Me and the Spook was good buddies back then. What a crock of shit it all is.

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It is a matter of psychosis really...you believe that it will happen, and thus it does. If it were really a matter of coming from some god, it would be impossible to do without the assistance of the holy ghost. I personally, can speak in the same "tongue" that I did when I was a pentecostal. I can today say "yantala shy iskaraba boroto kasai" any time I want and sure enough, people would believe that I was speaking in tongues. I did it because I felt that the Spirit was leading me to do so back then, but now, I see that I did it because my mind wanted to believe that I had been taken over by some holy diety's power.

 

I have a former friend who is still in the desceptive way called pentecostalism and anytime he gets excited, he speaks in tongues...come on! I can recount a story that another member (glittersno) will remember for sure. He saw a big dear (this is a large, hunter dude) and started spouting off in his usual "holy tongue!" Come one! Give me a break! This story here proves to me and should show many others (though pentecostals and other christians might say that his tongues were never "of god" since he could do it for something so trivial) that it is pure emotion taken overboard!

 

And in the words of the most deep, though provoking theologian in the world, Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that" ;-)

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I agree, it is in fact a clinical - verifyable form of psychosis. I just thought that I could use the babylon example of non-sensical ranting to ward off any would-be spiritual invaders that try to tell me that speaking in tongues is proof of their being "possessed" by the holy spooker.

Quite often when the spiritual invaders from "zion" come to town on an abduction tour, I like to use passages from the bible to counter thier passages from the bible - kinda like a game hehehe. Some call the bible a shield, others a sword, so when I am attacked by the "sword of the lord" I use the shield to block it...shows you really how self destructive and counter-intuitive the book really is. Sometimes I even keep score in my head just to distract me from their bullshit. LOL

 

-What costume would the holy ghost wear on halloween? Maybe a sheet with eyes and a mouth cut out...

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Very true and good point :-)

 

I think the Holy Ghost might go as "Rich Uncle Pennybags" from the game Monopoly since he is raking in so much money! ;-)

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Something just occured to me - those idiot televangelists that "speak in tongues" aren't even portraying the passage in the bible [bable?] where the disciples are speaking to each person in the crowd in their native tongue while actually speaking in their own...I think its more like a decent representation of the story where god confounds the one language of man making his words sound like lunacy - the speaker may know what they are saying [or do they?], but the crowd sure as hell doesn't. If the bible god is real, then I guess we can look forward to every one of them drowning in a flood, or maybe their bath tub, or even in the baptismal?

 

-Just a thought, what do you guys think?

one interesting slant on that passage is that it doesnt say the apostles spoke in other tongues, it says that the people of all different nationalities HEARD the apostles speaking in their languages. the miracle might have been in those people hearing, than in what languages the apostles were speaking in. get what i mean?

in any case, we're talking about proper languages here, not gobbley gook babbling.

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I agree, and that is an interesting point.

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I used to speak in 'tongues'... so did my wife. I've seen people get taught to just make nonsense syllables and tell themselves it's a 'tongue'. I've heard people whose tongues were, fr'instance, "dee dee dee dee dee dee" over and over. It's all emotionalistic bullshit. I've been in the presence of 'preachers' trying to convince a crowd that they were preaching in 'tongues' (not a sentence or so; the WHOLE sermon). I could get anyone who wanted to believe that shit to just start babbling and convince them it's 'tongues'. In fact, I used to do just that as an evangelist for the Lard. Me and the Spook was good buddies back then. What a crock of shit it all is.

i was told to say 'halleluyah' over and over and over, and it would end up in 'tongues'. haha. sick.

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In most theological circles, you learn that there are two types of "tongues" discussed. The Acts 2 account using the "original" greek speaks of what is called today "xenolalia" which is uttering an unlearned language of the world (xeno meaning foreign). So, if using the Acts 2 theory, you would have to be talking about something along the lines of say me, having never studied French, speaking in fluent and perfect French. (Would never happen, I am a Spanish teacher in process lol).

 

The tongues that Paul spoke of most often were refered to as "glossalalia." This is the "angelic tongue, unknown tongue, etc..." In 90% of christian circles today, you can find that glossalalia is practiced above all else. It is very rare to hear someone speaking in a language that they "haven't learned according to them." If it really were from some "invisible man," shouldn't we see more of this miracle rather than the babble that goes on in churches today? Even when it is discovered to have happened in a church, there is typically nobody who knows the language enough to say that the person is speaking it correctly. It isn't hard to fake something (even meaning to be truthful) if you believe it will happen enough.

 

Again...my two cents...if I keep putting my two cents in, people are not going to like me though...who likes pennies in the first place? ;-)

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i was told to say 'halleluyah' over and over and over, and it would end up in 'tongues'. haha. sick.

 

Not uncommon at all, really...in fact, a famous televangelist spoke to a former friend of mine when she went to be prayed over at one of her televised conferences. She leaned in to look as if she was praying and said to my former friend, "Just start babbling SOMETHING so I don't look bad...it's not like it's real anyway!"

 

Again, the hallelujah thing over and over creates the start of the psychosis in my opinion...

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The power of fascism, propaganda, and brain washing are a very strong combination that most of us cannot resist because we are exposed to it on a daily basis. It is worse when a person is born into the religion. They are the ones that will stay with it no matter what happens to them or the church, right or wrong.

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In most theological Even when it is discovered to have happened in a church, there is typically nobody who knows the language enough to say that the person is speaking it correctly. It isn't hard to fake something (even meaning to be truthful) if you believe it will happen enough.

 

whenever anyone spoke in tongues, as far as i remember, the interpretation was always something unremarkable like. 'theres going to be a great revival. God will send the former rain and the latter rain'!

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He saw a big dear (this is a large, hunter dude) and started spouting off in his usual "holy tongue!" Come one! Give me a break! This story here proves to me and should show many others (though pentecostals and other christians might say that his tongues were never "of god" since he could do it for something so trivial) that it is pure emotion taken overboard!

 

Hey, come on! Killing a live animal and asserting man's dominance through sporting pleasures is most heavenly! After shooting a 10 pointer, the art of reaching into a splayed deer and yanking out steaming entrails with a look of crazed bloodlust on one's face is akin to touching God's holy face. Amen.

 

What a fricking farce. I've never heard of some preacher speaking in tongues and thought, "Hmm, that seems genuine". This anecdote confirms the idiocy of the "gift". Thanks for sharing.

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In some ancient mystery schools, they would also use repetitive chants at varying speeds for hours to develop a pseudo-psychosis in which they were concidered more receptive to super-natural forces. In fact, the word 'Abracadabra' is one such word, and its chant would follow this parttern:

 

1] Abracadabra

2] Bracadabra

3] Racadabra

4] Acadabra

5] Cadabra

6] Adabra

7] Dabra

8] Abra

9] Bra

10] Ra

11] A

and then would start at 'Ra' and work its way back up to Abracadabra, this would go on for hours, and while doing this, one was supposed to focus on meaning, kinda like multi-tasking in your brain to cause a sort of mental separation...

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whenever anyone spoke in tongues, as far as i remember, the interpretation was always something unremarkable like. 'theres going to be a great revival. God will send the former rain and the latter rain'!

 

That is what I heard every time too...where is this great revival that apparently every message in tongues is about? In fact, I see more people LEAVING the faith...maybe it is a revival of ex-christians haha!

 

If they would take their own history in to account, they would see that no message that god ever delivered through a prophet (which most people in these churches feel that if they have a message in tongues or in english, it must be that they are god's prophet...) it was NEGATIVE! Turn and repent, etc...so, it makes no sense that they would all be about happy little butterflies and unicorns today! (This is a post that I can really get in to haha!)

 

Heck, it wasn't even spoken of between the Acts days and 1901. It wasn't until 1901 that there were even documented cases. At that point, it was a seminary student named Agnes Ozman that supposedly spoke in Chinese, creating a great "move of god...". If it were really god moving, it wouldn't have stopped between Acts and Agnes Ozman!

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NOTE TO SELF: Maybe I should develop a method of meditation like that LOL It could go something like:

-Patting your head with you right hand

-While rubbing your belly with your left hand

-While also saying the alphabet backwards

-While trying to think of absolutely nothing...LOL

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Guest GlitterSno

Speaking in tongues.....hmm.

Have had different experiences with that one. I used to babble like a fool thinking it was some BIG and POWERFUL deity talking through me.. WOO HOO! In reality, it was me. I remember when I first realized that it was me (when I was deconverting) I felt like such an ass. (one of many reasons that I felt that way...lol) I think back to different things that had happened and I am shocked that I did not see it before... I think it was more that I didn't WANT to.

Example, this guy had a teenager up front for prayer. He said to this kid, "Keep saying Jah Jah Jah and then HE will take over and speak for you." Um, duh? So now you have to TRICK god into doing the talking for you? Hello?

Also, in once of the churches I attended, when there was an interpretation, it was always the pastor that interpreted it AND it was always in King James Version.... um, again, hello? If GOD was truly trying to get a point across to people, some do not understand that bible (hell, many don't in ANY translation) wouldn't he speak it in PLAIN english and not OLD english??

I dunno.... tongues are suppose to be a sign for the unbelievers...here is the sign... RUN as fast as you can! lol

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Guest GlitterSno
Heck, it wasn't even spoken of between the Acts days and 1901. It wasn't until 1901 that there were even documented cases. At that point, it was a seminary student named Agnes Ozman that supposedly spoke in Chinese, creating a great "move of god...". If it were really god moving, it wouldn't have stopped between Acts and Agnes Ozman!

 

I think god decided he needed a vacation....maybe he went to the Bahamas or something, sipping on a drink in a coconut. (Do not forget the little umbrella thing, that is a MUST)

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I wonder if the pastors actually have a script tucked away in their bible that they prepare before the sermon that helps them remember what the interpretation will be...lol

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Guest GlitterSno
I wonder if the pastors actually have a script tucked away in their bible that they prepare before the sermon that helps them remember what the interpretation will be...lol

 

I DO know they know how to get the congregation going... this one preacher I know... and LtJayson knows as well....would say "I feel the holy ghost" and the crowd would go wild like someone had made a touchdown. They know how to set the mood almost like a group hypnosis.

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I wonder if the pastors actually have a script tucked away in their bible that they prepare before the sermon that helps them remember what the interpretation will be...lol

 

I am sure that some of them do! I never did, but if I had stayed in knowing what I do now, I could have pulled that off haha!

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and thats really when the incoherant ranting begins. My father is a die hard north eastern fundamental baptist bible school zealot, and he says that his church doesn't believe in "tongues"...Its amazing how the church he belongs to doesn't believe in that horse crap, but of course they believe in another form of horse crap - the bible itself...they pick and choose it seems

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I wonder if the pastors actually have a script tucked away in their bible that they prepare before the sermon that helps them remember what the interpretation will be...lol

 

I DO know they know how to get the congregation going... this one preacher I know... and LtJayson knows as well....would say "I feel the holy ghost" and the crowd would go wild like someone had made a touchdown. They know how to set the mood almost like a group hypnosis.

 

To this day, if I wanted to, I could walk in to any church - not just pentecostal - and go by my knowledge of what they expect and produce a great show! It is VERY sad, but true. Throw in a couple GLORYs and AMENS...maybe even a YES LORD or two...and there ya go! When I traveled as an evangelist, I would bring in a good love offering of 500-1000 each time...when the church's regular offerings were usually around 2-3 hundred. It's sad...

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It realy is amazing how easy it is to get people jumpin around, or convulsing on the floor when you tell them what they want to hear...but sometimes I think that they get a little crafty by preaching hellfire so that the congregation doesn't get suspicious...or worn out and tired - its all a show, its all a show. Talk about vanity and self-righteousness, there is nothing more vain than thinking the all-mighty powerful god has touched YOU in a special way that no one will ever know...ugh, makes me sick.

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