Interview: India

[Reach]

One of our members, Totallyatpeace or TAP, recently returned from a trip to India. I thought it might be interesting to attempt an interview with TAP on her experiences there and more importantly any fresh thoughts or insights she might have come away with.

 

Tap, I appreciate your willingness (or perhaps, it's eagerness) to participate in this discussion. I know you work full time and that your schedule is heavy, so feel free to take your time in answering. As much as I enjoy my time here, I don't live at Ex-C, either.

 

I believe international travel, for any purpose, can serve us well in terms of the eye-opening, mind-expanding education it can provide. First of all, I'd like to talk about why you went to India, what you were aiming to accomplish or what your assignment was while you were there. As a Christian, I expect that this might have been part of some missionary outreach. The Indians I know are deeply spiritual people. So, what was the purpose of your trip and what did you find upon your arrival?

[Totallyatpeace]

First of all, I'd like to talk about why you went to India, what you were aiming to accomplish or what your assignment was while you were there. As a Christian, I expect that this might have been part of some missionary outreach. The Indians I know are deeply spiritual people. So, what was the purpose of your trip and what did you find upon your arrival?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I am actively involved in Mission work by either going to other countries myself, or I organize teams to go. When I went to Belize in March, that was an organized team that I went with. I went by myself to India.

 

Two churches in my area have decided that they want to begin financially supporting an orphanage in South India. I am on the Missions Board at my church and I suggested that somebody ought to go and visit the orphanage so we can really understand what their needs are and how we can best put our money to work. I volunteered because I have 9 weeks off every summer. They agreed, and 4 weeks later, I left for India. By the way.........of the $2600.00 it cost for me to go.......I had to raise all but $750.00. It wasn’t a free trip.

 

My responsibility there was to take photos and journal, which is what I spent most of my time doing. I interacted with the 40 girls at the orphanage, which by the way.....is called a “home”, not an orphanage. The girls are NOT up for adoption. They are being raised as a family.

 

The home was about 45 minutes outside of the city I was staying in so I wasn’t there every day. Many days I stayed at my hostel and journaled or read and interacted with the people around me. At a hostel, there are people from many different countries and they can be there for business, religious or political reasons. I met many people and spent a great deal of time in discussion talking about religion (all religions), politics, culture and travel. Like I said in one of my posts (or maybe it was a PM), my most interesting encounter there was with an Atheist.

 

Many that stayed at the hostel were also Indian. I dined with them in the evenings, when I could. The Indian people are some of the most gentle people I have ever met. They are caring, love to listen and learn, and are genuinely interested in you. If they speak English, they have a very strong British accent and sometimes that was a challenge. All educated Indians speak English.

 

My first impression of the Indian people was in the plane on the way over. I had 23 hours in the air to talk and just happened to sit next to a gentleman that was on his way to meet his arranged bride. We talked the entire time we flew and when we arrived, I felt like I knew him better than some of my own family.....lol. It was great.

 

I found the Indians to be deeply spiritual people and even though the majority are Hindus, there are many Christians and Christian churches there. I was in South India and in North India you will find many more Muslims than Christians.

 

The women wear anything from Sarees to Burkas to some Western Wear, for those who are bold. It’s a culture that is being heavily influenced by the West. The men always wear slacks and a shirt. No shorts. (and it’s very hot there)

[Reach]

TAP, I'm curious about this. In what ways did you notice that the Indian culture "is being heavily influenced by the West?" I assume you were referring to more than just clothing.

[Totallyatpeace]

TAP, I'm curious about this. In what ways did you notice that the Indian culture "is being heavily influenced by the West?" I assume you were referring to more than just clothing.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Mainly the big screen and television. We, as a nation appear to have it all, financially speaking, but we are also seen as a culture that does whatever we want, no matter who it effects. We are considered to have low morals, values and don’t put much emphasis on family and family values. I’m not saying I agree with this but all you have to do is talk to people in other countries to get a true picture of how the rest of the world sees us. Their media plays a big part in that....just like we don’t always get the truth through our media.

 

So yes.....I was talking about clothing but also marriage. India has always been a culture of arranged marriages. However, what they call “love marriages”, are now becoming more popular and attractive to the younger generation. What scares the older generations over there is that our divorce rate is so high here and in India, it is almost nonexistent. They believe that love marriages will end in divorce and they are trying to protect tradition.

 

Movies and TV are having a huge impact there and Hindu movies are known world wide.

 

Ever seen Monsoon Rain? Great movie.

[Reach]

I'll have to check out that movie.

 

I understand that you were only in India a few weeks, but can you make a rough or general statement about what their values seem to be and perhaps, what that is based on? Moral code? Tradition? Religion?

 

What do they value most?

 

For divorce to be "almost nonexistent" is an amazing accomplishment. How do you think they have accomplished such a feat?

[trashy]

I understand that you were only in India a few weeks, but can you make a rough or general statement about what their values seem to be and perhaps, what that is based on? Moral code? Tradition? Religion?

 

What do they value most?

 

For divorce to be "almost nonexistent" is an amazing accomplishment. How do you think they have accomplished such a feat?

Predominantly Hindu

Predominantly arranged marriages

Divorce rate almost non-existant

 

They have been far surpassing the predominantly Christian nations in the area Christians hold most dear - marriage and family life. Doesn't say much for Biblical Christian values! Interesting.

[Reach]

They have been far surpassing the predominantly Christian nations in the area Christians hold most dear - marriage and family life.  Doesn't say much for Biblical Christian values!  Interesting.

Thanks, Trashy. Clearly, the west with its Christianity has failed to be the moral agent it claims to be.

 

Since you were there, TAP, what do those values look like, up front and personal, if you will?

 

TAP, feel free to break for lunch or anything else.

[Totallyatpeace]

I understand that you were only in India a few weeks, but can you make a rough or general statement about what their values seem to be and perhaps, what that is based on? Moral code? Tradition? Religion?

 

As you mentioned...I was only there a few weeks and my perception of their values came from those I had contact with, had conversations with and from what I saw in movies and read in the newspaper.

 

What do they value most? Family, Faith and Education. They live under the Caste System over there and if you are not educated, you are a servant. I walked through a cemetary there and on each headstone is the name of the person, followed by their level of education and what degrees they held.

 

For divorce to be "almost nonexistent" is an amazing accomplishment. How do you think they have accomplished such a feat?

 

Good question and this will only be my opinion, based on the conversations I had. First and foremost, arranged marriages are done with great care for both the potential bride and groom. Many different critiria is met such as compatibility in faith, education, economic level, character traits, hobbies, personality and much more. Out of the 6 or so arranged couples that I spoke with, all of them met right before the wedding, but fell in love within the first month of marriage. Parents want their kids to be happy and want the marriages to be successful, so great care is used in the decision process.

 

Secondly, divorce is still taboo. No one wants to be shamed by their families and treated as an out-cast. One gentleman on the plane who was going to meet his arranged bride, was scared to death. He was going for his engagement party where both families would all be present. I asked him what would happen if he declined to marry her. He said that first, the girl would be very hurt and he didn't want to hurt her, and second, he didn't want to disappoint his family. He would marry her.

 

So I guess my answer to that question would be that the parents are very careful in selecting a spouse for their child and I would also have to say that the fear factor of being an outcast weighs in. I saw the first, much more than the latter.

 

Now....I need to earn my paycheck. That's it until tomorrow.

[Totallyatpeace]

Predominantly Hindu

Predominantly arranged marriages

Divorce rate almost non-existant

 

They have been far surpassing the predominantly Christian nations in the area Christians hold most dear - marriage and family life.  Doesn't say much for Biblical Christian values!  Interesting.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I disagree. It doesn't say anything against Christian Biblical values. It says much against those who say the hold to Christian Biblical values.......and really don't.

 

And yes......they have far surpassed Christianity's teaching in that area.

 

See you tomorrow.

[Reach]

We'll pick this up tomorrow, TAP. Thanks for your time, thus far.

 

I appreciate that you're willing to talk about your trip and I know I'm not the only one who is curious to know how you've been effected, perhaps, by your experiences and your time in India.

 

Until tomorrow...

[Outsider2]

I finally have some time to post

 

Sorry for that I have been trying to start a new career and I spend most of my time looking for a new job and don't get to post often.

 

Anyway, I am glad Reach started this thread because I wanted to hear about the India trip as well. First a simple question, how was the food? I love nan bread and curry. Does India use the infamous paperless method of cleaning oneself after taking a dump? There are some cultural rituals I think I can never do.

 

That is about it for now. Nothing really deep or spiritual....

[Totallyatpeace]

  I finally have some time to post 

 

Sorry for that I have been trying to start a new career and I spend most of my time looking for a new job and don't get to post often.

 

Anyway, I am glad Reach started this thread because I wanted to hear about the India trip as well.  First a simple question, how was the food?  I love nan bread and curry.  Does India use the infamous paperless method of cleaning oneself after taking a dump?  There are some cultural rituals I think I can never do.

 

That is about it for now.  Nothing really deep or spiritual....  

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Outsider, it's good to see you back and I hope the job search goes well.

 

The two things you mentioned made me laugh because they are the two things I really struggled with.

 

First of all....I like Indian food and especially like curry and Nan. I like it maybe once a week but they eat it 3 meals a day.....everyday. Each meal tastes the same on my palet because everything is curry based so it tastes like the very same meal three times a day. However, I did have Italian one night when I went out and I also took one day off from eating when I couldn't take it anymore.

 

Regarding the paperless method...... you are correct. Next to every toilet is a water spicket and a drain and that's all they use. I took 6 rolls of toilet paper with me and never once touched a spicket. I tried many things in India, but that wasn't one of them.

 

Interesting side note regarding those two peices of information above. The Indian people eat with their right hand and never use utensils. You put your 4 fingers together in the shape of a spoon and scoop up the bite of food. The thumb is used to push it into the mouth. It's quite an art.

 

I think you can figure out why they don't eat with their left hand. It is left completely off the table because it is used for something else.

 

 

Tap

[Loren]

Welcome back from your trip, TAP. Even if it's a purely work trip, India is a very amazing and beautiful country; what an exciting journey to make!

My responsibility there was to take photos and journal, which is what I spent most of my time doing.

At some point, (not wanting to interrupt your conversation with Reach) would there be any chance that you'd share some of your pictures with us? I'm assuming (hoping) your camera was digital so it would be somewhat easier for you to do that than if it was a film camera. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is anxious to see some of the things you've seen and places you've been.

[Totallyatpeace]

I'd be happy to. Let me re-size them first.

[Loren]

Thank you, TAP, and no hurry on that.

[Japedo]

Wow what an interesting thread.

 

Eat with right hand, do the spicket with the left.

 

about the arranged marriages and almost non-existent divorce, I don't necessarily see that as a good thing. What about abusive marriages and such things? Shame comes before all else it seems. and forget it if my parents had to pick my spouse, I can't even fathom the thought. Talk about in your business in-laws..

 

 

What role in society to women do? Are they educated, women rights so on and so forth or do they take care of the arranged home/family?

[Totallyatpeace]

Wow what an interesting thread.

 

Eat with right hand, do the  spicket  with the left.   

 

about the arranged marriages and  almost non-existent divorce, I don't necessarily  see that as a good thing.  What about abusive marriages and such things?  Shame comes before all else it seems.  and forget it if my parents had to pick my spouse, I can't even fathom the thought.  Talk about  in your business in-laws.. 

What role in society to women do?  Are they educated, women rights so on and so forth or do they take care of the arranged home/family?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

About arranged marriages......

 

I’m not sure that I would want it that way, either but I haven’t been raised in that culture, so I really don’t know one way or the other. I’m a fiercely independent woman so I can’t imagine somebody making such important decisions for me.

 

What role do women play in society? It all depends on the Caste System that I mentioned in a previous post above. The goal in India is education, and that goes for both men and women. They are very advanced in technology, science and medicine. If one has an education they are held in higher regard. An educated wife/mother has servants who cook, clean and take care of the home. An uneducated one IS a servant.

 

Comparatively speaking......to have a full time servant that does all the work in your home would cost you about $50.00 a month in US dollars.

[Caretaker]

I think you can figure out why they don't eat with their left hand. It is left completely off the table because it is used for something else.

Pardon my lack of imagination, but in hope that the left hand has nothing to do with the spicket, what DO they do?

[Totallyatpeace]

Perfect answer, thankful. That's the reason.

 

 

Tap

[Checkmate]

Regarding the paperless method...... you are correct. Next to every toilet is a water spicket and a drain and that's all they use. I took 6 rolls of toilet paper with me and never once touched a spicket. I tried many things in India, but that wasn't one of them.

 

Interesting side note regarding those two peices of information above. The Indian people eat with their right hand and never use utensils. You put your 4 fingers together in the shape of a spoon and scoop up the bite of food. The thumb is used to push it into the mouth. It's quite an art.

 

I think you can figure out why they don't eat with their left hand. It is left completely off the table because it is used for something else.

 

Um...I don't mean to sound like the "Ugly American", but um...e-GADS!!! Remind me never to venture into India! "Cultural Differences" is one thing, but THIS...? Whoo-boy!

 

<<<<breaks into a rendition of "And I'm proud to be an American!">>>>

 

I've heard about these Middle Eastern practices before, but I had hoped that they were a thing of the past. Hah! Silly me.

 

Ah, well. Never fear. I don't think there's any risk of me ever going abroad again in this lifetime, so I needn't fret.

 

TAP...I tip my hat to you! You're a braver person than I am. Cheerio.

[Reach]

Good morning, TAP. I'm sorry to be so long in getting here but this was my first opportunity to get online.

 

While I'm catching up with all of the last posts and trying to find my bearings here, I have a quick question, perhaps a bit silly, but here goes...

 

There is much talk about where the holy cow stands in relation to people. So, on a light note, what is the answer to the criticism that Indians value their cows more than people? And more seriously, from your vantage point, did you see hungry people in the streets? If so, how did that make you feel?

[Totallyatpeace]

There is much talk about where the holy cow stands in relation to people. So, on a light note, what is the answer to the criticism that Indians value their cows more than people?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I am going to upload a picture with this one because the whole traffic scene is how I came to understand the value of a cow in India.

 

First of all, pedestrians have no right of way and if there are actually lanes on a road, the drivers are able to create 5 lanes out of two. So if you are planning to cross the street, you are taking your life into your hands. (especially someone like me who is not familiar with the area) Cars, city buses, Rickshaw's (see photo), bikes, motorcycles and scooters dominate the road. The bigger your vehicle the more right of way you have.

 

However......that all changes when a cow crosses the road. Everyone slows down and waits patiently for it to cross. The cows seem to know this because they just start across when they feel like it but a dog will stop and look both ways before crossing.....then stop on the middle divider and look again before continuing on. This actually fascinated me, but if you're a dog owner you may have already known they were capable of this.

 

And more seriously, from your vantage point, did you see hungry people in the streets? If so, how did that make you feel?

 

Yes. Everywhere. The saddest thing I saw were the children sleeping at the train station. I turned a corner and there were many children laying in the dirt or on a cement floor, sound asleep. They were from about age 2-10. I was told that their parents were probably working at the station during the night and that's when and where their children slept.

 

There are many homeless on the street and many sleep in make-shift tents, if they are fortunate enough to have one for shelter.

 

How did it make me feel? I'm assuming the same way it would make any caring human being feel. My first question was "What can I possibly do to help this situation on my own?" Then I remembered the reason why I was there and the 40 girls who were once living the same way. I can't change India, but I hope to be able to help 40 girls, who can help 40 more and so on.....

 

I don't have an exact answer for that.

[Reach]

Then I remembered the reason why I was there and the 40 girls who were once living the same way. I can't change India, but I hope to be able to help 40 girls, who can help 40 more and so on.....

The pictures sure help us visualize how things looked to you.

 

Those forty girls. Let's talk about them. From my understanding about at least some of the orphanages in India, and as you commented on briefly, these orphanages are really set up to be homes, and not adoption agencies. Apparently, these children are rescued from the streets. As a Christian, I read some of Amy Carmichael's writings and was highly impressed that she had given her entire life, literally, to the little girls of India. I'm sure you're aware of her starting an orphanage in India that is still open today.

 

What were these little girls like? How was it spending time with them? What did you feel about their prospects for "normal" adult lives? What kind of girls were they and from what kind of situations were they rescued?

 

Knowing you have a heart for missions, what kind of impact did those little girls have on you?

 

As an aside, are boys in a better position and what can you say typically becomes of those boys who make their lives on the streets?

[Vixentrox]

They talk about how they feel about the British since India was a British colony not too long ago?

[Totallyatpeace]

The pictures sure help us visualize how things looked to you.

 

Those forty girls. Let's talk about them. From my understanding about at least some of the orphanages in India, and as you commented on briefly, these orphanages are really set up to be homes, and not adoption agencies. Apparently, these children are rescued from the streets. As a Christian, I read some of Amy Carmichael's writings and was highly impressed that she had given her entire life, literally, to the little girls of India. I'm sure you're aware of her starting an orphanage in India that is still open today.

 

What were these little girls like? How was it spending time with them? What did you feel about their prospects for "normal" adult lives? What kind of girls were they and from what kind of situations were they rescued?

 

Knowing you have a heart for missions, what kind of impact did those little girls have on you?

 

As an aside, are boys in a better position and what can you say typically becomes of those boys who make their lives on the streets?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I have not read the writings of Amy Carmichael but I will now. I did however, read Mother Teresa’s, The Simple Path-- prior to going. The only other orphanage I visited was one of Mother Teresa’s and those kids were all up for adoption. I’m not quite sure since I only had the two to compare.

 

What were these little girls like? Lively. Vibrant. Some of them still dealing with their emotional wounds.

 

They are wonderful to spend time around. They call you Auntie (if you are a woman) and want your attention so they will lead you around by the hand and show you all the things they are interested in. That was probably my favorite part...the one on one time.

 

The prospect for the particular girls I was with is very good. They are raising them with hopes of giving each one of them a higher education as well. The dowry system is still common place in India so they are also setting aside a little bit of money for each girl so they have a chance at marriage. Without a dowry...your chances of marriage are slim. So, the bottom line is.....they will hopefully be educated and able to generate a good enough income to care for themselves and a family, if they choose to do so.

 

They all have a story and they come to the home via word of mouth. In other words, no ads placed or anything like that. One was found abandoned underneath a train seat. Another one witnessed her father kill her mother and dad is now in prison. She didn’t speak for the first two years that she was there but was one of the girls that took me all around by the hand. Another one was left at the gate of the home and found by the security guard. They have since made contact with that parent but she will remain at the home.

 

They transformed me in a way that can’t be explained with words, as hard as I try. They give me hope, help me keep things in perspective in my own life, teach me a greater depth of compassion and make me want to do more to help others right here at home.

 

The Mother Teresa orphanage had both boys and girls but there were probably 30 girls and 5 boys that I saw. I honestly don’t know what happens to them. However, all the drivers for the rickshaws and taxis were males. That right there is a whole lot of men.