Moderator Margee Posted January 21, 2012 Author Moderator Share Posted January 21, 2012 I'm sorry.......I can't stop!! It's the 'obsessive demon' making me do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Well, as my father in-law said from the pulpit one Sunday, "Anyone who doesn't accept Christ as their savior is possessed by Satan or one of his demons." If I am possessed, I must be hosting the most mundane demon that ever existed. This particular demon causes me to go to work for nine hours a day, hang out with my wife and kids when I get home, pay all of my bills on time, and otherwise be a responsible, productive citizen that obeys the law just about all the time. This demon even causes me to eat fairly responsibly and try to exercise regularly, of all things. And then, once I'm done with all of that, this demon forces me to sign onto internet forums, where I type (mostly) cogent thoughts in grammatically correct sentences. Come on, why couldn't I have gotten one of the cool demons? Couldn't I have glowing red eyes, at least? I've always wanted glowing red eyes. Oh yeah? Look at who or what your god is! Now watch this: Or read this. I REBUKE you, demon of coffe, in the name of JESUS!!! I COMMAND you to begone from our brother in the NAME of JESUS!!!!! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted January 21, 2012 Author Moderator Share Posted January 21, 2012 Well, as my father in-law said from the pulpit one Sunday, "Anyone who doesn't accept Christ as their savior is possessed by Satan or one of his demons." If I am possessed, I must be hosting the most mundane demon that ever existed. This particular demon causes me to go to work for nine hours a day, hang out with my wife and kids when I get home, pay all of my bills on time, and otherwise be a responsible, productive citizen that obeys the law just about all the time. This demon even causes me to eat fairly responsibly and try to exercise regularly, of all things. And then, once I'm done with all of that, this demon forces me to sign onto internet forums, where I type (mostly) cogent thoughts in grammatically correct sentences. Come on, why couldn't I have gotten one of the cool demons? Couldn't I have glowing red eyes, at least? I've always wanted glowing red eyes. Oh yeah? Look at who or what your god is! Now watch this: Or read this. I REBUKE you, demon of coffe, in the name of JESUS!!! I COMMAND you to begone from our brother in the NAME of JESUS!!!!! OH-MY-GOD!! I can't believe what he just said about Starbucks coffee!! I just know if I was still going to church and heard this crap, I would stop going to 'Starbucks'. That's how stupid I was!! JEZZZUUUSSSS!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxy Methoxy Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Did he just call Chuck Norris evil?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Did he just call Chuck Norris evil?! Chuck in a Starbucks .......too scary to think about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I don't even like Starbucks coffee. Nasty, burnt-tasting sludge, it is... And I didn't read the entire blog post about it, but was that person serious about the logo, or was it all tongue in cheek? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Honest Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Damn and I was just about to do some Tai Bo while drinking a cup a Starbucks.... Stupid demons! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 I don't even like Starbucks coffee. Nasty, burnt-tasting sludge, it is... And I didn't read the entire blog post about it, but was that person serious about the logo, or was it all tongue in cheek? You are obviously a man of discriminating taste. I share your opinion of burnt tire coffee, and was dismayed when so many other places jumped on the bandwagon, but at least the fad seems to be on the wane now. If there were such a thing as demon-harboring coffee I think it would surely be the strong, burnt tasting crud that for some unknown reason became so popular. I rarely post a link without really reading it, but I must confess that I just skimmed the blog post. I have no idea whether it was really serious or tongue in cheek. Poe was right: it's tough and sometimes impossible to distinguish satire from delusional fundyism. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luv2knit Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 You have to be kidding! I could barely stomach that crazy video! Holy crap! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotalWreck Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Margee, these pictures you are posting have me cracking up! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 This is a picture of a demon trying to have sex with a man.... We have to be sooooo careful of the invisable world!! Looks like he's trying to shit a man out of his butt to me. :-) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 This is a picture of a demon trying to have sex with a man.... We have to be sooooo careful of the invisable world!! Looks like he's trying to shit a man out of his butt to me. :-) Looks like the man is flaccid and fully clothed, too. I would say he was dry humping the man, but it really does look like he's trying to shit him out of his butt! The demon is actually kind of cute in a fuzzy, cartoon-like sort of way, and neither violent looking or horrifying (as I thought demons were supposed to be) nor the least bit erotic. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 In college before I was too far along in my deconversion, some guy from my dorm did mescaline one evening. Ever the "good christian," I warned him about the demons he was inviting in by doing this. Not surprisingly, he saw a demon later that night. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted January 22, 2012 Author Moderator Share Posted January 22, 2012 This is my beautiful granddaughter. I'm going to perform an exorcism on her today. She touched one of my atheist books................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted January 22, 2012 Author Moderator Share Posted January 22, 2012 This is my beautiful granddaughter. I'm going to perform an exorcism on her today. She touched one of my atheist books................ Damn, she touched the cat!! I'll have to do both of them today............... I should have never stopped goin' to church...Sunday mornings are not the same anymore............... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxy Methoxy Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 This is a picture of a demon trying to have sex with a man.... We have to be sooooo careful of the invisable world!! Looks like he's trying to shit a man out of his butt to me. :-) Looks like it's trying to stick the man up its butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 This is a picture of a demon trying to have sex with a man.... We have to be sooooo careful of the invisable world!! Looks like he's trying to shit a man out of his butt to me. :-) Looks like it's trying to stick the man up its butt. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uzW-W5DCjg 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxy Methoxy Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luv2knit Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 OMG!!! I'm going to pee my pants!!!! I think knitting is a demon too!! Put down that knitting in jeeeeuuuuuussss name........... I will send the needles into the pigs and they will fall off the cliff!!!! I was thinking about this today, the only way this could happen is if you used synthetic yarns. Unnatural equals unholy equals demons. On the other hand if you use wool it is holy! Wool comes from sheep, sheep have lambs, Jesus is the lamb, therefore the sweater is holy! See. I only use wool. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WMDKitty Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 This like Pokemon? "My charzard demon can beat your picachu spirit." "Gotta get them all!" Or Magic the Gathering. "Dude. I totally cast a level 3 Spirit of Pride to disable both your Spirit of Lust and your Spirit of Fear. You are totally bound by the Spirit of Pwn-age." Or D&D. "I cast Fireball at the demon of Depression." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badpuppy Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 Am I the only one who wonders why the people most tormented by demons are the ones who believe in them? When I was a Christian teenager I used to have bad panic attacks and be unable to sleep, shaking, crying, just completely freaked out. My mom would be saying: "It's just an attack of the devil." I'm sorry JUST??? It wasn't an "attack of the devil", it was the crazy belief system. Later when I got out of it and started having fewer panic attacks and was sleeping through the night my mother decided I was now being "deceived" by the devil. So... I''m only "attacked" if I believe crazy shit like fundie Christianity? If that isn't the best motivation to deconvert, then i don't know what is. Currently, according to my mother, the devil is "deceiving me". This deception includes feeling more peaceful, loving, and enjoying more of life. This deception includes the ability to go through life and do normal things and think and concentrate. This deception includes sleeping through the night. It sounds like so much tinfoil hat nonsense to me. They get the experience they expect to get. All these people doing all these things that supposedly "let demons in", are living quiet, normal lives, while the people who seem to have "symptoms" of demons really have symptoms of manufactured mental illness. If it were as they say, then all these "evil" practices would produce all these bad emotions, but in the end, the only thing that produces the scary things is believing everything is scary. Wacky how that works. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny49 Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 Am I the only one who wonders why the people most tormented by demons are the ones who believe in them? When I was a Christian teenager I used to have bad panic attacks and be unable to sleep, shaking, crying, just completely freaked out. My mom would be saying: "It's just an attack of the devil." I'm sorry JUST??? It wasn't an "attack of the devil", it was the crazy belief system. Later when I got out of it and started having fewer panic attacks and was sleeping through the night my mother decided I was now being "deceived" by the devil. So... I''m only "attacked" if I believe crazy shit like fundie Christianity? If that isn't the best motivation to deconvert, then i don't know what is. Currently, according to my mother, the devil is "deceiving me". This deception includes feeling more peaceful, loving, and enjoying more of life. This deception includes the ability to go through life and do normal things and think and concentrate. This deception includes sleeping through the night. It sounds like so much tinfoil hat nonsense to me. They get the experience they expect to get. All these people doing all these things that supposedly "let demons in", are living quiet, normal lives, while the people who seem to have "symptoms" of demons really have symptoms of manufactured mental illness. If it were as they say, then all these "evil" practices would produce all these bad emotions, but in the end, the only thing that produces the scary things is believing everything is scary. Wacky how that works. Jesus, so you have to live a horrible life to be a Christian? I don't see how that makes sense.....doesn't believing in God makes your life better not worse? And yes, I always wonder how come atheists never have symptoms of demon possession but only religious people? Wouldn't Devil attack them more since they have no "protection"? WTF? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted January 24, 2012 Author Moderator Share Posted January 24, 2012 Jesus, so you have to live a horrible life to be a Christian? I don't see how that makes sense.....doesn't believing in God makes your life better not worse? And yes, I always wonder how come atheists never have symptoms of demon possession but only religious people? Wouldn't Devil attack them more since they have no "protection"? WTF? But atheists are decieved by satan and his demons!!! They have 'tricked' us into not being depressed anymore. They have magically 'removed' the panic attacks, etc. so we think we're better off without god!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny49 Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 Oh, now I understand 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badpuppy Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 Jesus, so you have to live a horrible life to be a Christian? I don't see how that makes sense.....doesn't believing in God makes your life better not worse? And yes, I always wonder how come atheists never have symptoms of demon possession but only religious people? Wouldn't Devil attack them more since they have no "protection"? WTF? It seems the real protection is not allowing negative belief systems into your life to begin with. Christians talk about a verse in the bible that talks about thinking only on good, pure things. Of course they twist even this to be judgmental. But if they actually followed what the verse says, they'd have to chuck the vast majority of the bible as the ravings of a "demon". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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