Ouroboros Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 How about "Purity Control"? http://x-files.wikia.../Purity_Control Nah, Chris Carter might object. How about "Virginity Control"? It the shoe fits . . . you must acquits. Perhaps they should just go to chastity belts like the medieval times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I'm gonna be honest...I had a purity ring. That went out the door when I started dating and it was a damn good thing that I was on the pill (for medical purposes) and my bf was all about safe sex. You don't have to justify being on the pill. Every woman has the right if she wants. Nobody should give you any grief about it. I was 26 and didn't know how to use a condom. It's sad that my education about that came from a relationship instead of my parents. If people want to prevent things then they need to be educated. Period. It is creepy to devote all your sexual energy to serving a non-existent god and even creepier to promise your dad that you won't give it away. For the longest time I believed that all I had to offer a man was my virginity and ability to bear children. Yeah, that's what I was taught and it is pure B.S. By the way, my first bf is a good friend of mine and still has my purity ring that I gave to him. We joke about it but it is seriously creepy. *shudder* May I ask your personal opinion on something? What do you think would be the right age for the heavy details on the birds and bees? I keep second guessing myself because I will need to host one of those talks but I don't want to do it too soon. My mom gave me a book when I was ten but that was about it. I don't think I would have gotten the talk until I was married. I can't really give you a for sure answer. Maybe when they are 10-11 but I've heard people telling their kids even younger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 If people want to prevent things then they need to be educated. Period. For the longest time I believed that all I had to offer a man was my virginity and ability to bear children. Yeah, that's what I was taught and it is pure B.S. Exactly, education is the one weapon that works. It makes me sad when people try to denigrate women into sex bots and baby factories, oh and personal assistants. It just makes me sick that religion is allowed to remove basic human rights from people. I'm glad you no longer think that is all you are worth. I have no doubt that you have much to share with the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VacuumFlux Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 May I ask your personal opinion on something? What do you think would be the right age for the heavy details on the birds and bees? I keep second guessing myself because I will need to host one of those talks but I don't want to do it too soon. Please give your kids at least part of the talk BEFORE they hit puberty. For a daughter, they at least need to know how their menstrual cycle works and what to expect before it starts (which will involve at least some discussion about why it happens at all). Make sure she knows what normal is so that she'll know if there's any abnormalities that she should see a doctor about. Make sure she has someone knowledgeable that she's comfortable asking questions about it, and make sure she's comfortable enough talking about her body that she can get the words out to talk about it with her doctor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 And while you're at it.... Tell your boys not to use and abuse women. Tell your girls not to use and abuse men. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 And while you're at it.... Tell your boys not to use and abuse women. Tell your girls not to use and abuse men. I heartily concur! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 If people want to prevent things then they need to be educated. Period. For the longest time I believed that all I had to offer a man was my virginity and ability to bear children. Yeah, that's what I was taught and it is pure B.S. Exactly, education is the one weapon that works. It makes me sad when people try to denigrate women into sex bots and baby factories, oh and personal assistants. It just makes me sick that religion is allowed to remove basic human rights from people. I'm glad you no longer think that is all you are worth. I have no doubt that you have much to share with the world. Thankies, London Yes, I do have a lot to offer. I recently finished my MA in Education...gonna get certified to be a teacher for English Language Learners then get my doctorate. My goal is to help people learn how to think not what to think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I heartily concur! I applaud your bravery Zephie. I think you risk dangerous waters to openly agree with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I heartily concur! I applaud your bravery Zephie. I think you risk dangerous waters to openly agree with me. I just think it's wise to teach children that people are not objects to be used and abused regardless of gender. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryper Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I just think it's wise to teach children that people are not objects to be used and abused regardless of gender. True....but just think of the porn industry. Where would they be without it. Poor strippers. In all seriousness, we are still very close to our simian relatives. At times we all are animals. It just depends on what you choose. Teach that there is another way and the child may still choose to go against what you taught. We all make choices. The daughters in the purity movement may realize it's all shite at some point, or they my choose not to see it. I hope that this is the last hurrah of the religions and in 100 years or so they will be culturally an anomaly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I hope that this is the last hurrah of the religions and in 100 years or so they will be culturally an anomaly. I don't believe religion ever dies with humanity. I think it is merely replaced. For instance, I think it could be effectively argued that the recent development of secular humanism in the West is essentially religious. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryper Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 it could be. And it could be argued that atheism is a religion. Neither of which stand up to my mind. The main difference is religions always divide the world into dichotomous thinking. US and THEM. The SAVED and the HEATHEN. Those on the path 'to enlightenment' and those 'in darkness'. So despite how benign it seems, there is always US and the Other. The Other must either be rescued or destroyed. Humanist approach is to approach this life rationally. Create meaning individually. Focus on this life not the next Build a better world. No where does it require you accept anything without testing it. This is a more inclusive approach to life, and hopefully where the world is heading. There will always be those who will cling to the religions of the past. There will always be those who simply choose to only view the world through the Us/Other dichotomy. It is simpler that way. There is no ambiguity. The humanist approach is full of ambiguity as what works for one person won't work for the one next to them. Just as how I view you vile and preachy conservatives is different from how you view those liberal socialist hippies. We both have accepted our own views as correct for us and have reasons for promoting them. Often times they are just different paths toward a similar goal, but just as often the other can't, won't, or is simply doesn't like the subtle differences between the visions. It also doesn't help that two sides seem predisposed to warring with each other rather then compromise. But I digress. While this is a nice tangent, it is verring too far off topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 There will always be those who simply choose to only view the world through the Us/Other dichotomy. Interpretation: There will always be those (them, those guys, over there, those others) who will simply choose to view the world through the Us/Other dichotomy. I am in the liberating position to be able to see things through the me/everything else dichotomy. Janis Joplin said it best I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Humanist approach is to approach this life rationally. Create meaning individually. Focus on this life not the next Build a better world. No where does it require you accept anything without testing it. This is a more inclusive approach to life, and hopefully where the world is heading. Agreed, and I think that there is nothing rational about these purity balls. It just seems like a creepy form of incest. It reminds me of the toddlers in tiaras crap. Instead of having some huge production about your virginity (if I were a teenage girl I would be mortified to participate in this), you could just educate your child. Give the facts, answer questions. But instead it seems like this is a huge production, new dress, makeup, hair, blah, blah, blah. I too hope rational begins to take over. It seems like many other countries are already on their way. Maybe they will eventually influence countries like ours who are behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 There will always be those who simply choose to only view the world through the Us/Other dichotomy. Interpretation: There will always be those (them, those guys, over there, those others) who will simply choose to view the world through the Us/Other dichotomy. I am in the liberating position to be able to see things through the me/everything else dichotomy. Janis Joplin said it best I think. There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who divide people into two groups, and those who . . . . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 ...I would say that dads can have a valid reason to talk to their daughters about sex as much as moms can to sons. ...I would think having your dad tell you that is okay to tell the guy to stop, and then vigorously defend yourself could be helpful. Even secular society still has the undercurrent of what women should do in bed. So I think being the male voice in your daughters life that says your body is yours and you have every right to defend it, could only be positive. I'm all for parental involvement in educating children. It's dating your daughter as a child bride (complete with ball gowns and ceremonies) that I think is disgusting. I just can't imagine a non-pedophilic male, going to a romantic banquet that celebrates a teen or pre-teen female's budding sexuality and how she is handing it over to him. That's certainly not the kind of bond I want with my daddy. I think these guys border on incest and pedophilia, all under the guise of fatherly authority. Ick ick ick! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marmot Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 May I ask your personal opinion on something? What do you think would be the right age for the heavy details on the birds and bees? I keep second guessing myself because I will need to host one of those talks but I don't want to do it too soon. Please give your kids at least part of the talk BEFORE they hit puberty. For a daughter, they at least need to know how their menstrual cycle works and what to expect before it starts (which will involve at least some discussion about why it happens at all). Make sure she knows what normal is so that she'll know if there's any abnormalities that she should see a doctor about. Make sure she has someone knowledgeable that she's comfortable asking questions about it, and make sure she's comfortable enough talking about her body that she can get the words out to talk about it with her doctor. I teach 12/13/14 year olds and they are certainly old enough to handle the talk. I think it is important to be as open as possible -- the school I used to teach at had a really cool program where an outside company came in and performed a play. The theme of the play STD's/contraceptives/sex ed. Afterwards the actors took questions from the students. After that, we broke out into pairs of advisory groups (total of about 14 kids for 2 teachers) to have more questions and discussion. Very healthy to let kids ask lots of questions, even when they seem can seem like dumb questions (to them and to you). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerces Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 This wasn't what I was thinking about what I read the thread title. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ Fuego ♦ Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 Tribal sexual taboos given the cloak of modern civility. As was said early on, -creepy-. But when I was on the inside, I always tried to justify such things as beneficial. We had an entire invisible world we believed was real, and structures of authority and power were daily things we were sure that we had to deal with. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 Couldn't someone at least have picked a better name for it than "purity ball"? Like "promise dinner" or something. I vote for "Chattel Fest". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phanta Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 But when you move beyond that, I would think having your dad tell you that is okay to tell the guy to stop, and then vigorously defend yourself could be helpful. Even secular society still has the undercurrent of what women should do in bed. So I think being the male voice in your daughters life that says your body is yours and you have every right to defend it, could only be positive. Spot on. When I was on my way to my first school dance in jr high, I was told that, if a boy got fresh with me and didn't back off when I told him to, I should kick him in the nuts. Much more powerful coming from Grampa than Mama, and I never forgot it, even if I didn't ever use it. If he said it was ok to do such a thing to a guy under those circumstances, it must really be ok, was my 12-year-old reasoning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phanta Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 I'm gonna be honest...I had a purity ring. That went out the door when I started dating and it was a damn good thing that I was on the pill (for medical purposes) and my bf was all about safe sex. I was 26 and didn't know how to use a condom. It's sad that my education about that came from a relationship instead of my parents. If people want to prevent things then they need to be educated. Period. Good thing about the boyfriend valuing protections for sex. And being on the pill. I was not allowed to go on for medical reasons. Little sister, on the other hand, got an education from me as soon as she started asking questions. I had to go get a book to read up which, honestly, taught me a few things and swore me off sex for a few months. Ugh. Anyway, we had sessions where we put condoms on cucumbers, in the dark, until she was a expert at telling by touch which side was inside and which outside, and how to tell if it was a bad condom (we did experiments on them--oil, drying out, making the tiniest possible hole we could manage, etc--and then filled them with water to see them leak) by squeezing the packaging to feel for an air cushion and then making sure the condom was stretchy and lubricated. To this day, she requires sexual partners to get a thorough STD testing workup. When one (from another country) didn't know why she was asking, she showed him pictures on the internet, and he went out straightaway to test those thing that are testable without active symptoms. That's my girl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivingLife Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 Couldn't someone at least have picked a better name for it than "purity ball"? Like "promise dinner" or something. I vote for "Chattel Fest". Call it what it is "Pussy Pride", "My little Hymen" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 Couldn't someone at least have picked a better name for it than "purity ball"? Like "promise dinner" or something. I vote for "Chattel Fest". Call it what it is "Pussy Pride", "My little Hymen" Well, maybe "Pussy Pride for Particularly Pedophilic Papas"........ ew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 Couldn't someone at least have picked a better name for it than "purity ball"? Like "promise dinner" or something. I vote for "Chattel Fest". Call it what it is "Pussy Pride", "My little Hymen" I vote for "My Little Hymen" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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