Girlfriend Left Me For Jesus

[buffettphan]

I love your response!  It's strong and doesn't sugarcoat anything -- which in my opinion, is EXACTLY what these leeches need to hear!

[Margee]

 

Yes I think you are correct that it would have been a mistake to have gotten more involved , everytime the subject comes up with her we just argue endlessly.

 

Here is my email exchange with the pastor. I do feel a little guilty that I may have been too harsh, what do you think?

 

Hi

Just an email to say, it was great chatting to you when you came along to our evening meeting in March, and keen to make contact with you and say I'd be very happy to meet up for that cuppa sometime.

I’m aware that ***** is moving out and know that’s this is the right decision for her, though want you to know that you would receive a warm welcome at any of the churches we’re linked with that may be nearer to where you live. 

You had a chat with ***** **** that evening you came along, and he leads the The *** church in ******.

I know he’d be up for a chat sometime as well.

 

Hopefully you’ve caught our heart we’re keen for you to know the support of the church yourself, and keen to do whatever I can to make that possible

 

Kind Regards

*****

 

Hi *****

 

Sorry it took so long to reply to your email but I was initially pretty annoyed by the presumption you seem to have made for yourself. To suggest that you "know" that ***** leaving me is the right decision for her is both arrogant and offensive. I have known ***** for over two years and in that time we have spoken almost everyday. You have known her a few months, I know that because of your belief system you think that you know something that others do not know, personally I know that this is an erroneous belief. Your words came across as completely lacking in empathy and any real understanding of the situation.

 

 I enjoy discussing human belief systems a lot and have done with many different people, from stoic athiests to strict muslims, obviously everybody thinks that they hold the truth themselves. The "faithful" usually also seem to have an air of superiority because of their "faith". You are no different in this regard *****, from my paradigm there is absolutely nothing noble, superior or impressive about someone who has "faith". Faith is simply just pretending to know something you do not really know due to a lack of reasoning in your epistemology.

 

It is for these reasons that I am not entirely sure that we should have that cuppa, to be more specific it is because I think that you would have an ulterior motive, where as I am interesting in discussing beliefs, you have your eye on me to join your flock. Unfortunately for the church I have seen and learned too much in my life to be that gullible.

 

Needless to say you did not exactly catch my heart, I found the experience of actually being in your church service slightly disturbing. The more "joyous" your flock became the more I felt a depression creep over me, not the depression of not knowing Jesus as my lord and saviour but of knowing all these people are so far removed from reality and deeply commited to a delusion.

 

If you would really like to help me on a practical level then I am looking seriously for somewhere to live in the ****** area. As ***** moved out so quickly I have been left in a very difficult situation to manage, both financially and in regard to having nowhere to live after next week.

 

Apologies if my words sounds harsh at this time but I cannot sugar coat how I feel,

 

-*****

 

 

Excellent response! No sense in beating around the bush. I met my last pastor at Starbucks and he said; '' We must get together soon'' and I said; ''Why, we have nothing in common anymore''... and walked away from him immediately and left him standing there.

 

You find a nice woman who has the same common interests as you. One where you can be your authentic self!

 

(hug)

[dangitbobby83]

Excellent response!

 

I don't think it was too harsh, I think it is a dose of reality these people need. You're absolutely right that he is being presumptuous in assuming he knows better than what your ex-girlfriend (and you) need. It's offensive, smug and arrogant. But remember, these people also think they know the will and mind of an omnipotent, all-knowing creator who formed the entire universe and that this being cares about who you fuck, when you fuck, and other things you do with your life and is willing to torture people for eternity who doubt him and/or his existence.

 

You're also right about their priorities - they don't give two shits about anything other than stopping people from doing things they think is immoral and making more sheep. All claims of caring about the poor or people in general is BS. If they did, we wouldn't have any poor now and he wouldn't have led with "lots of churches in the area, go to one" if he did care.

 

Good riddance, I say. 

[Ellinas]

You have the enormous advantage (and believe me, it is an advantage) of not being tied into this group by an established relationship.

 

Others of us walk a different path with our families or partners - because circumstances vary, as do the reactions required - which is not as easy an option as may be assumed

 

You reply to the pastor has the merit of making it clear that you have the measure of him and have no intention of being sucked into the system he represents.  Well done.

[Stamps1962]

Joining this discussion late but better than never.

 

I had much the same thing happen to me, like the OP I was a non religious guy dating a fundie female in her 30's. After six months (no actual sex, but close to it) she stunned me by asking what I would think of a 'celibate marriage'. After I told her not much, things quickly went downhill. I got the 'God is leading me to break this off' line of BS. Actually I think she was terrified of emotional closeness, not to mention sexuality.  A year later I met a fellow skeptic like me and married her. In general it's been a happy relationship.

 

From time to time I look at my old GFs Facebook page; she is now almost 60, obese, lives alone in he same dumpy apartment. Her page is full of Jesus stuff. On some level I feel sorry for her, but not much. She chose this path. .

 

Don't ever think you can change someone like this. It has to come from within. 

[Simonion123]

It's not worth it. There are wonderful women out there who do not believe in fairy tales. Do not put yourself in a situation where you have to work through your faith or non-faith together. It is hell and not worth it when you're just looking for a mate. You're not compatible, learn from it and move onto someone who is a better fit for you. This is one of those times where you need to disregard your feelings for her because they will only end up leading you down a troublesome path. 

Knowledge > Feelings 

 

 

I spoke at length to my ex lastnight about xtianity. The long and short of it was that she finds joy and his happy in the belief, I asked her a lot of questions about the bible and such and could the feeling be something other than God and is it good to be happy and ignorant of reality or seek the truth or for a clearer view of actual reality. She did admit that she doesn't like everything they say in the church and that it might not all be true but she does believe in God and thinks that the best thing she can do is be a good christian girl and save herself now until she meets the right christian man and marries him, then the fairytale she has in mind will be perfect I think. She even said after our discussion that she hopes she isn't wrong because it is a long way to fall. 

 

I quoted the above comment as it has brought me back down to earth, I miss this woman a lot and sometimes feel like persuing her further even as just a friend. You are right, it would be nuts. Thanks

[dangitbobby83]

 

It's not worth it. There are wonderful women out there who do not believe in fairy tales. Do not put yourself in a situation where you have to work through your faith or non-faith together. It is hell and not worth it when you're just looking for a mate. You're not compatible, learn from it and move onto someone who is a better fit for you. This is one of those times where you need to disregard your feelings for her because they will only end up leading you down a troublesome path. 

Knowledge > Feelings 

 

 

I spoke at length to my ex lastnight about xtianity. The long and short of it was that she finds joy and his happy in the belief, I asked her a lot of questions about the bible and such and could the feeling be something other than God and is it good to be happy and ignorant of reality or seek the truth or for a clearer view of actual reality. She did admit that she doesn't like everything they say in the church and that it might not all be true but she does believe in God and thinks that the best thing she can do is be a good christian girl and save herself now until she meets the right christian man and marries him, then the fairytale she has in mind will be perfect I think. She even said after our discussion that she hopes she isn't wrong because it is a long way to fall. 

 

I quoted the above comment as it has brought me back down to earth, I miss this woman a lot and sometimes feel like persuing her further even as just a friend. You are right, it would be nuts. Thanks

 

 

The whole "meets the right christian man..." is totally part of the fairy tale sold to people, especially young women. Complete control of a person's sexuality, making them feel guilty for desiring anything sexual outside a very narrow circumstance and planting a fairy-tale, Disney style relationship desire is part of the power the church uses to keep people coming back, putting into the offering plate and growing the tribe. 

 

Guilt and shame is the name of the game. Neil Carter posted a blog about this not long ago, if you're interested in reading it. He also has an entire blog dedicated to how the church uses sexuality to control people.

 

In all honesty, I pity your ex-girlfriend. She's in for a very long, rough ride. One that she will either come out of full of regrets or one she'll take to the grave, dedicating her life to shame and fairy-tales. I hope you can continue to resist, pursuing her will only lead you down that road too.

[Simonion123]

Interesting read that. It does ring a few bells with the things she has said to me. She did say xtianity is a personal thing and has said more than once that she can't help me anymore, I did say "can Jesus help me?" she said it would be a start, so yes I am broken and God needs to fix me. Don't get me wrong I do have some problems going on at the moment but I don't think the best solution to any of them would be God, to which I am told that I can't listen or I can't hear or something like that. 

She also said that she has learned a lot and that xtianity is very complex. She sounded like a different person, it's so weird because she doesn't seem very hardline about it, she won't even answer the question do you believe Jesus is the son of god directly in the affirmative but now she does not believe in sex before marriage and that she needs a xtian husband. 

It was funny because she said she couldn't be with someone who tormented her about her beliefs, I replied I did not torment you, I just gave a different view, now you are only surrounded by people who believe the same thing, in a bubble. She did seem to think about that but thats it now. I've moved out she has all her stuff. It is done. I will update if anything extraordinary happens or if Jesus appears in my room tonight.

[dangitbobby83]

Let us know if Jesus appears in your room. LOL

 

For the sake of potential fence sitters, I'm going to deconstruct some of the stuff she's been saying to you - in part to show it's irrationalness and also to hopefully shed some light on where this stuff is coming from.

 

- "Can't help you anymore/Need Jesus"

 

Christianity is a predatory religion. It lives and dies by how successful current followers can convinced you that you're screwed. This "screwed" is, to them, mortal sin which we are all born with, so they say. She says she cannot help you because (and the more fundy they are) humans are dirt, and she honestly believes this.  

 

We all have issues of course. Christians will have you believe that this comes from sin and living without god. The only problem? Look at most christians and you'll see their lives are not any better. If their lives were better, and the holy spirit did come to fix it, no one would be anything but christian. Their true shining light to the world would be obvious. The other side of this coin is non-christians and ex-christians. Plenty of non-christians have their lives together and how do you explain why christians leave? If their world is made so much better by belief, then no one would leave.

But regardless, they have to have a problem in order to sell you the solution and that solution is Jesus.

- "You can't hear it/see it/listen to it"

This is typical christian apologetics. In short, if you don't agree with them, you're unable to understand what they are saying. There are specific bible verses which talk about christianity being foolish to those who are on the outside, but that "foolishness" is proof of god's wisdom. You'll also hear christians talk about "hardening" and "loosening" of the heart.

 

(As a side tangent, I've become more convinced that specific parts of the new testament were built with bullshitting in mind, meaning whoever did write some of it knew exactly what they were doing - BS'ing people. Many times you'll notice the bible answering objections before those objections are raised and if you know anything about marketing and sales, it's a common tactic to short-circuit reason. The fact that the bible mentions this stuff specifically before a believer hears it must mean it is true. 

"OMG the bible and my pastor SAID you would say that! They must be right! They are so wise!" - as an example)

The problem with this argument is obvious - if you are incapable of understanding it, how can you convert to believing it? This is where the big hole in their free will argument appears - it takes god to fuck with your head in order to become convinced it's real. Usually this head-fuckery happens when you're down and out. You've been beaten, destroyed, and emotionally compromised and that's when they get you. That's when you have no fortitude left to say "no" and that's when your brain will entertain irrational stuff.

That's not always the case, however, but many times it is. 

- "Christianity is complex"

It has to be in order for it to attempt to justify it. Many apologists will say Occam's Razor applies to god/jesus/the bible because it's easier to understand and makes more sense...but then when you dig deep enough, usually the "god is mysterious/complex" will start to come out, and that's the problem. 

In order to justify a belief in god you must ignore or explain away so much of reality that it is mind boggling. Circular reasoning, special pleading, hand-waving and sticking your head in the sand is all the realm of christianity and that's what most christians do - stick their head in the sand when faced with a serious logical or theological problem.

- "Sex before marriage is wrong"

Of course this goes back to the control of sexuality. Sexuality is a powerful driving urge, it bonds and unites people, and what continues our species. If you can take something as natural as sex and make it evil, you can condemn and guilt people into coming into the fold or staying. 

- "You tormented me"

If you hang around here long enough, you'll notice a pattern and you might have already noticed it just from seeing stuff on Facebook, TV or your ex. Christians (and all abrahamic religions in general), are obsessed with both certainty and "truthiness". The more fundamental you are, the more likely you are convinced you (and your fellow fundy christians) have the sole knowledge of truth. This means that anything outside of the accepted dogma is considered evil and presenting it to them is an outright attack on their faith, because why else would you fight so hard against the truth?

The psychology of "us vs. them" is at play here and the bible (again, back to my tangent above) claims people will be persecuted for believing and following Jesus. Thus, most christians have a huge persecution complex and anything that could be perceived as a slight is considered an outright attack on their religious faith. 

Bringing up a counterpoint - attack.
Trying to place a secular monument up next to a manger at christmas time - attack.
Saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" - attack.
Letting gay's marry - attack.

Atheist running for office - attack.

 

Part of this is cult mentality - when you align yourself with such extreme dogma, you have to continually be fed the notion that you'll be attacked from anyone and anything, including when someone might helpfully suggest you step away. If they have you emotionally in the cult's grasp, you'll be convinced that other person is attacking the core of who you are and you'll be inclined to stay away from the person making a benign suggestion. 

Again, this points to christianity, especially in it's fundy and evangelical forms, as being predatory.

Anyway - hopefully this is helpful to you and to anyone else on the fence about what christianity is and what it does to people.

[Simonion123]

 

Anyway - hopefully this is helpful to you and to anyone else on the fence about what christianity is and what it does to people.

 

 

Thank you for taking the time to explain some of these things, it is definitely helpful. I have remembered another couple of pearls that she cast before me that you might find interesting. 

On the subject of what I am interested in, buddhism and some more occult practices that I have read much about, she said something like, don't get me wrong I do think these things are interesting but from my point of view now they just make me think about what a phenomenal Christian you would be. 

She also told me that she has started writing her own book of "prophecies". The church she attends do this thing where they give "prophetic words" to each other in the hope that it will mean something to the person receiving this godly wisdom. They also do this with strangers on the street. It's nuts, I mean I wish it was true, but it's not, it's nuts. 

[dangitbobby83]

A point which I've never seen a christian apologist answer other than a No True Scotsman is the fact that Jesus gambled the his legitimacy one the unity of the church in his final prayer in John 17. With over 40k sects, many of which claim the other sects not christian, this is the most failed prayer in the history of prayers.

 

I bring this up because of the prophecies you're talking about. In my christian background, that would've been considered satanic and the church would've been convinced that she is being lied to and led down the path of hell by Satan himself. Despite the fact that the two churches agree on about 90% of their core beliefs, those 10% is enough to consider each group "not christian".

 

IF the holy spirit is real and IF it indwells in each believer, and IF it's job is to spiritually lead, provide knowledge, and guide a christian, then it does a terrible job of leading two different christians to the same conclusion.

 

However, if Satan can also lead a christian in the opposite direction through his evil spirit...what's the difference? How can one tell which is satan and which is god, if they both function the same?

 

Christians always say that Satan is such a good liar and he mixes enough truth in with enough falsehoods that it's difficult to discern the difference. Funny I never questioned that in all my time there. If it's so difficult that two christians who get their beliefs from the same bible that both can be led by either god or satan and it is so difficult to discern the truth, then how do any of them really know who they are following? Christians usually say "trust god". How? How can you trust a being who allows another being to lie so easily to you that might not know?  

[quinntar]

I know it sucks to see someone you love get pulled into a predatory religion, because that's what it is.

 

These people are sharks. Christianity desires to make everyone the same - homogenous in belief and action. It's a faith virus that implants itself in the heart of a person and can turn them into stark-raving lunatics. I'm not saying that to be a dick towards your (ex)-girl, I'm saying it because I was there myself. I know exactly what she is going through because I went through it.

 

They (the church and her) she is in with are either already planting the "sin" thoughts or already have. If it hasn't came up yet, it will - she will believe living with you was her being rebellious against god and moving out and "getting right" with Jesus is going to change her life for infinite better. She'll say things like "oh he was a good guy, treated me well, but he was so sinful. We did sinful things (not necessarily sex, mind you) and I know my life would've went south had I stayed. I know that now that my eyes have been opened to the truth."

 

I strongly encourage you to remove the pastor's email address, tell your ex-girlfriend nicely that you don't want someone who cannot think for themselves and that she's in a predatory religion (if she asks you to join her, etc.). Then drop her and don't talk to her again.

 

BTW - if you would like to know what will be said behind the scenes after your "final discussion" with her, it'll go something like: "His heart is hardened and Satan has a hold of it. Pray for him, maybe jesus will lead him here."

 

Whatever you decide to do, do NOT go down that path of conservative christianity unless you are perfectly okay with giving up intellectual honesty, critical thinking skills, and don't mind a whole lot of group think.

You big sinner you, everyone left me for jesus He's a habit that's hard to kick. You'll be ok. there's plenty of fish in the sea (so they tell me)

[Justin]

Sorry about this man. I've been down a similar road with some friends and it's rough. It's not easy but I'd ditch her. Find a lady who shares similar views as you and not one ready to OD on the drug of Christianity and try to bring you along for the same fate.

[FlowerDemon]

"Randomly opening the book"

 

I tried it with Harry Potter - I tell you what, HP is really speaking to me! Must be real!

I know! And Harry Potter has 7 books so he's real AF

 

Seriously speaking though, I'm sorry you're going through this. When I was a Christian I went through times with a few boyfriends where I felt convicted of being/living with them because they didn't share my faith. When I finally broke away from the church and religion, I realized that it wasn't God convicting me...I was feeling guilty of my lifestyle due to it not lining up with Biblical teachings and the people I went to church with. I remember one week our pastor did a sermon about marriage and there was this big discussion on why sometimes you just have to up and leave a relationship if it's unevenly yoked. 

 

They were passively agressively pointing the discussion towards me. They all knew I was living with a man who never went to church with me. They'd always pray for him too.

 

There were times when I also felt guilty for things like pre martial sex, because it also went against what the Bible says and the lifestyles of the people I went to church with (or so I thought, who knows they could have been having an orgy in the church after hours, LOL)

 

Religion is really mind warping and brain washing. She's going through that phase. It might last a few weeks, a few months, few decades, or her whole life. You never know. But don't waste time waiting around for her to come back to you or to shake out of it. Take care of yourself. Someday you will find someone who has similar beliefs/values/opinions as yours and will also respect you for the ones they disagree with. Love is unconditional. And this woman does not love you unconditionally. If she did, she wouldn't judge you and leave you for your lack of religion.

 

best of luck to you

[PurpleStarGirl]

I agree with everyone saying waiting around for her is not worth it.

 

I understand your predicament. I was sort of seeing this guy who was getting into Orthodox Christianity and he quit speaking to me for a month and a half before I ran into him this past Saturday where he proceeded to tell me because he was a Christian and I wasn't, it wasn't going to work out between us. He was also apparently looking for someone to marry and have children with so he could raise them as Christians. The kicker was that he seemed very intelligent so I cannot fathom why he allowed himself to be brainwashed. He also is on the autism spectrum so I'm wondering if that's why it was easy for them to brainwash him. Oh well. I suppose whatever makes him happy. Needless to say, I will not be seeing him ever again despite saying I wanted to stay friends. It's honestly not worth it and I don't want to get involved in that sort of crazy or be around it for my peace of mind.

 

So yeah, I wouldn't get to hung up on your ex or hoping she'll come back to you. Focus on your life and yourself and I'm sure things will work out for yourself in the end.

[FlowerDemon]

this is probably her favorite cd, if she left you for an imaginary being

 

http://southpark.cc.com/clips/103761/pleasing-jesus

[Simonion123]

 

So yeah, I wouldn't get to hung up on your ex or hoping she'll come back to you. Focus on your life and yourself and I'm sure things will work out for yourself in the end.

 

Thanks I do miss her, well, the old her, but I'm just trying to sort my own life out now. 

 

That Southpark video is hilarious.

[Lilith666]

Haven't been on here in a while, Simonion, but I just read your reply to the pastor's email and loved it. You had a great response to that nasty comment about your girlfriend leaving you being "the right thing for her." Totally inappropriate, this guy commenting on your personal life like that. Especially if he doesn't know you well, which it sounds like he doesn't. It wasn't too harsh at all - you pointed out he was being a jerk. I hope you're doing better!

[Simonion123]

Thanks Lilith, he actually doesn't know me at all we only met once!

[Simonion123]

I spoke to the ex last night and she said something that disturbed me a lot. She asked how I was doing and I said well I am starting from scratch as I was left with not much after the split, she actually said to me it says in the bible, "God will remove evetything until you recognise him in your life". This really pissed me off. She later backtracked and said that that isn't what she meant. She stated that she is learning a lot now and like the Christian life, singing together and helping each other and now she has lots of friends to hang out with, she wants to meet and get married to a christian. She thinks that god is putting more Christians in her life to help her.. I don't know what to think. The conversation really bothered me. I know I should just walk away I get it, but it disturbs me that she has changed so much.

[mwc]

     You didn't listen to me.  Now all your wounds are becoming self-inflicted.  You know what you need to do.  Leave this girl alone and be happy even if it means being miserable for a time.

 

          mwc

[yunea]

I spoke to the ex last night and she said something that disturbed me a lot. She asked how I was doing and I said well I am starting from scratch as I was left with not much after the split, she actually said to me it says in the bible, "God will remove evetything until you recognise him in your life". This really pissed me off. She later backtracked and said that that isn't what she meant. She stated that she is learning a lot now and like the Christian life, singing together and helping each other and now she has lots of friends to hang out with, she wants to meet and get married to a christian. She thinks that god is putting more Christians in her life to help her.. I don't know what to think. The conversation really bothered me. I know I should just walk away I get it, but it disturbs me that she has changed so much.

I think many new Christians experience things sort of this way. They're being love-bombed in the new church, and the whole idea of God giving you all kinds of good things (and anything God giving or taking away being good for you) seems so lovely.  

 

It is bothersome, and what you describe reminds me eerily of the way I too was in the beginning of my adventure into Pentecostalism. I didn't realise that nearly all of the "new friends" I thought I got would stop talking to me the day I didn't appear to that church again. Nor did I realise that all the good feelings and experiences were well-known phenomena that happen in groups, and also when one is suggestible like myself. Or that throwing myself into "the arms of God" was, in the end, not unlike sitting in a rowboat without anyone rowing.

 

I know you want to help her, but she probably is feeling so good right now that she won't listen to you. She probably thinks you're still in her life because God is testing her faith, or because God is calling you and using her as a tool. Or even both.

 

Please put yourself and your own well-being first now. Call for help if it seems that she has became psychotic and is seeing and hearing Jesus with her very eyes and ears, but other than that, you most likely can't change her mind as long as she is filled with those endorphins.

[dangitbobby83]

Love bombed is the perfect word. That's whats happening to her.

 

Trust me, it won't last. It may take a few years, but the love bombing will end and new people will enter. Eventually the ugliness of christianity will rear it's head and she'll either bury her head in the sand or she'll open her eyes to it.

 

Regardless, cut her the fuck out.

 

You witnessed exactly why christianity is a damn predatory cult. God takes everything away until you come to him? Yeah fuck that bullshit. You can hear the faith virus talking. She believes she is being used to get you to see the light. She knows you still have feelings for her. She keeps bringing up this whole christian man bullshit because she's trying to tell you something - she wants YOU to become that christian man. She's trying to infect your head, holding you emotionally hostage, using the breakup and conversion to get YOU to convert. 

 

How is that love? "I'll keep rubbing it in your face that I'll marry a Christian man, plus tell you that I'm marrying a christian man only, plus tell you that god is taking everything away from you so you'll come to him."

 

Man, you need to tell her to keep away. Surely you can see what she is doing to you is abusive, right? 

 

If she talks to you again, tell her you don't need emotionally abusive and manipulative people in your life. Tell her she's wielding your feelings for her as a weapon in order to get you to convert and it's morally and ethically disgusting. Tell her any religion that requires people to have shit taken away from their lives, that requires kicking while down, that requires pain and suffering in order to convince someone of the truth is a manipulative, disgusting, predatory cult and you don't need her, or her bullshit harmful religion, in your life.

[Lilith666]

Exactly. It's so insensitive that she brings up this "Christian man" thing shortly after breaking up with you. The person who ends the relationship needs to take a step back and give the ex time to move on, not crowd him while he's already having enough problems not thinking about her. Listen, if this girl truly cared about you, she would not have let religion or anything else talk her into leaving you. It's not that she's brainwashed, isn't in control of herself and she would go back to loving you if only Jesus were out of the picture. This church obsession just happens to be the thing that highlighted that you and your feelings aren't really important to her. I know how hard it is to leave someone you care about. You need to do it, otherwise you will spend an indefinite amount of time in a cycle of being angry at her and getting sucked back into her nonsense. Which means you'll be stuck with that instead of real happiness in a real relationship.

 

Also, this girl's problems are not your problem. It isn't your job to save people, especially not someone who shows so little regard for your well-being. What she's doing is her choice. Forget trying to rescue her, and focus on rescuing yourself from this toxic rubbish.

[Margee]

     You didn't listen to me.  Now all your wounds are becoming self-inflicted.  You know what you need to do.  Leave this girl alone and be happy even if it means being miserable for a time.

 

          mwc

 

One of the biggest hurts I have found in failed love relationships is that we lose our sense in feeling 'good enough' for that person anymore. And that hurts like hell. Makes you feel....  'less than'. Don't ever allow someone to do this to you.

 

You know in your heart that this won't work but you want to show her that you are a good person and worthy, even without religion. I do hope you pay attention to the people on this board, including me, who have 'lost' in love relationships due to being blinded by 'the way it used to be' when you first met a person because that's what keeps us hooked and trapped. Save yourself a whole lot of heartbreak and go 'no contact'. Move on as painful as it can be, you will eventually feel good again. Best wishes for a new future with someone who will give you the respect, time and love you deserve.

 

Click to make bigger.....and read carefully...

 

Last line: .....the aching doesn't stop until you let go completely.......