AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I just see a lot of anger.. to be honest it surprises me but I'm learning to understand where people are coming from. Yes, there's a lot of anger here. It happens like that when you've been duped your entire life into believing something that just isn't true. There is anger at those who led you down the path. There is anger at yourself for ignoring the signs for so long and allowing yourself to be duped. As one who didn't grow up with christianity being shoved down your throat, you won't feel the anger. You tried it, enjoyed it, then realized it for what it was. What's to be angry about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuroikaze Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Hahahaha, Yeah, white_raven, I guess emoticons would have made things better.. I guess I'll just be a punching bag for everyone who's got a gripe with my comments. Sorry about your other friends. I honestly have never experienced the "dark side" of Christianity as many people here seem to have. I'm rather naieve (sp?) to the brutality of the fundamentalists it seems. Everyone seems so uptight on these forums.. its just a general sense I get from reading most posts. No, I'm not pointing fingers or attacking anyone.. it's true.. it's general. On the Christian forums, they just give eachother free blessings that they can trade in for the armor of God and other neat upgrades to their profile. Maybe we can spread around truth tokens or freedom flags or something to cheer everybody up! haha. Everyone here is SO serious, and SO angry... god. Taphophilia, just tell me how you really feel.. lol. It's ok. Let it all out. I'll pray for you! LOL j/k Hey, I just thought I'd let you know I understand where your comming from. When I first started comming around I thought every one here was really uptight too. In fact the first time a lurked here a bit was right after I'd deconverted I thought I'd NEVER post here because people were too angry. Then a few months later when I hit the anger stage of my deconversion this place looked pretty nice. After being here a while and getting to know some of us individually you realize that some are angrier than others, depending on how they delt with thier deconversion and how long they have been out. I'm considerably less angry than I used to be. You'll also find that we will seem quite a bit funnier and easy going after a few months. I think, in part, its because we don't know you that well yet and people can perhaps overanylize things you say. We have had our share of trolls and such on this board, so don't take it personally. I think primarally they were just reacting to the words you used. You may not think like a christian any more, but perhaps you still talk like one a bit. Its perfectly natural, we all were indoctrinated in church, which has its own lauguage and way of speaking. It can take time to rid yourself of that way of speaking because it has become so ingrained. For at least a year after my deconversion I would catch myself saying things like "thank god" when something good happened. Eventually I trained myself out of it. It takes time to do it though, so don't take anything we say as a personal attack. It can be helpful to have people here point those things out so we can learn to talk in a less "christian" manor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 From the "Do you know what you're dealing with?" department, here are some snippets from your typical ex-Christian's postings. I'm sure you'll all agree, this is the way ex-Christians talk... Notice: that was sarcasm; I am a Mac user who cannot utilize the emoticons as these servers do not support Macintosh. Here we go with MrMalone: ...typically quite moral... ...moral background... ...because I've been in the church so long... ...my faith allowed me to last... ...all my friends..are Christians... ...I love the life I had when I was a Christian... ...I..don't regret anything about my past Christian life... ...I was guided and prayed for... ...real convictions... ...positive things in Christianity... ...angry with God... ...emotionally based decisions for accepting or rejecting Christianity...most of them seem to be based on misunderstandings or the efforts of certain influential people... ...are you angry at God?... ...I have never experienced the dark side of Christianity... ...and SO angry...god... ...many other denominations... ...I have been..blessed... ...Christianity..it's not all bad - there's good in it, too... ...there are honest, sincere Christians out there... ...I brought many kids to Christ... ...Christianity does offer hope... ...authenticity of the Scriptures - the only way we can get to know God... ...I'm not really an angry non-Christian... ...I have not had a negative Christian experience... ...Bless, pray, cross, reconcile, blood. It's all good... Yep, no doubt about it - this is your typical ex-Xian, alright. Certainly not a troll; no way. You do make an interesting point. So whaddya say Malone? Are you a troll? Or just a very recent de-convert who doesn't really even know if he should be de-converting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMalone Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 I'm a bit skeptical about your amazement with "all the anger" you find here. You mention it over and over. Anger is natural response to loss, loss of something or someone meaningful in your life. Haven't you/don't you experience(d) any anger in your transition from being a christian to your ex-christianness? Hi Oeslover, I can't say I've experienced anger. I'm realizing the more I read these forums that people were arguably forced to some very strict and oppressive beliefs. I guess many of the Christian communities in my area are not nearly as oppressive and I have honestly been fortunate that I have not been abandoned by friends and family. I can only say that I've experienced sadness, because I really wanted it to be true. Even talking to an atheist friend of mine, he admits that it would be great if there was an eternal home of no suffering and everlasting peace, if nothing else, for his wife and kids. Christianity, God etc. has been my life for well, most of my life. It's been hard to let it go because it honestly wasn't bad for me at all. My abstenence from drinking, sex, drugs, porn, was my personal convictions and wasn't by any means forced down my throat. My faith was truly my own, although formed and guided by examples of people around me. I'm not angry. It's hard for me to imagine churches like the ones I'm getting glimpses of from the posts around the forums. Doesn't seem like Christianity at all to me. I can see why people doubt my conversion because what I came from doesn't sound like something I'd want to leave. I didn't leave because it was bad, I just left because I don't think it's the truth. I couldn't live with myself with the great possibility that what I believe is wrong.. and that's including now. I'm willing to learn. I still am facinated with the origins of Christianity and all the other documents around the Bible, Gospel of Thomas, Nag Hammadi texts, Gospel of Judas etc.. that shed light on the sketchy origins of the scriptures. I just want to know what really happened. Thanks Kuroikaze, I don't see what's wrong with saying things like "thank god". It's an expression. Like "holy crap".. you don't actually conciously think the crap is holy.. lol. It's just terms of expression. I do think that because of particular loathing for a Christian past, or whatever cultish Christian-esk type of religion it was, that some are hyper-sensitive to anything associated with it. It may be natural, but I'm not concerned about retaining Christian lingo. After all, it truly is where I come from. WOW rrcanna, That must have taken some time... I'm impressed. Well, I guess keep an eye on me. If I start trying to convert people to Christianity, then I guess you can get someone to ban me or flag me or something. I probably won't change the language I use or the way I will describe my Christian life because I have nothing to hide or change about it. It is what it is. Feel free to wade through my blog if you're interested to know if I'm actually deconverted or trolling. I didn't realize that's a problem here, I thought you were joking. I'm trying to evangelize to Christians to show them how "un-right" Christianity seems to be. As it seems to be, not all ex-Christians are the same, just like all Christians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Whether it's real or not, Christianity does offer hope to people that need what it presents that it can offer. Whoa...that's like saying a sugar pill offers hope to someone suffering from terminal cancer. It offers nothing substantial that simple human fellowship doesn't offer. Christianity is a placebo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Hehehe! I just went to your site and have to say I DO love the farting televangelist bit. I know it's juvenile but DAMN it's funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMalone Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Whether it's real or not, Christianity does offer hope to people that need what it presents that it can offer. Whoa...that's like saying a sugar pill offers hope to someone suffering from terminal cancer. It offers nothing substantial that simple human fellowship doesn't offer. Christianity is a placebo. That is exactly what I would say. Placebic Alpha and Omega; The Great I Wish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knightley Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Even as a xian I didn't want to date xian men. Many of them are just not men, and I don't want to date an effeminate man. Enough said. No I would not date a xian, hell no. I would never marry a xian, oh god, don't speak marriage to me, I'm not going there at all. Frankly speaking as a woman of "the world," your post is insulting. You seem to have the idea that us heathen women have no values at all and that we don't care about anything. Who doesn't have baggage? Show me one person who doesn't. We all have our shit to deal with. I care about my family and I care about my friends. If they need help, I try to help them. I try to be there for them. I don't cheat, I don't steal, even when I worked at my shitty telemarketing job at the credit card company, I didn't use the fear tactics that others there used to make a sale. My parents taught me right from wrong. I've never really been a wild child. My cousin who was raised by xian parents, is actually the one that went wild until she landed herself in the hospital. I don't blame her for going wild, her parents pretty much asked for it when they made her live a legalistic lifestyle. When you can't do the things that most normal teens can, then you tend to get wild. She never really had the freedom that most normal teens do and I feel sorry for her in that regard. Speaking of promiscuous, I don't see anything wrong with having sex outside of marriage. Even though I'm no longer a xian, at 23 I'm still a virgin, and I have a pretty good sex drive, but I'm not hitting the clubs with my girlfriends and sleeping with some random guy, because hey maybe I want a relationship. Yeah I think that's it. For some its all about the sex, but others want more than that, and I want more than sex. Its not always about the nookie. So not all of us heathen women are "promiscuous" and you know I think I would like to avoid stds and hiv as well, I have my reasons for staying a virgin thusfar. People here, well some of us like me are against xianity because we've been through the shitter with that religion. So no I wouldn't want to date a xian guy, because really what would I talk about to him? I don't think I could date a guy who thought that I was going to hell and believe that the bible was literal and "the word of god." I just couldn't take that. Not all heathen women are narcissists, I mean give them a chance. Once I left xianity I found out that there are decent guys out there who aren't xians, yeah, its a shock, but they do exist! Lucky for me they do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMalone Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Hi Knightly, Yeah, I know, not all non-Christians are promiscuous.. I know, I know. Even in your example you gave a generic girl at the bar trying to hook up or whatever. That's all I mean. I said women of the world because I naievely thought people wouldn't absolutely destroy me because of my choice of words. And I also know that Christian girls/guys can be worse, mostly because of rebellion it seems tho. I just don't know how to find someone like you who has her head on her shoulders and isn't Christian, and preferably ex-Christian I spose. Hmm.. that's not a line, just what I'm up against. I just have general difficulties meeting women. I'm particularily shy.. possibly due to my Christian background I imagine somehow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Demona- Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I don't see anything wrong with having sex outside of marriage. Even though I'm no longer a xian, at 23 I'm still a virgin, and I have a pretty good sex drive, but I'm not hitting the clubs with my girlfriends and sleeping with some random guy, because hey maybe I want a relationship. Yeah I think that's it. For some its all about the sex, but others want more than that, and I want more than sex. Its not always about the nookie. So not all of us heathen women are "promiscuous" and you know I think I would like to avoid stds and hiv as well, I have my reasons for staying a virgin thusfar. Heh. We actually sound a lot alike in that regard, Knightley. We're both 23, virgins, and pragmatic in sexual choices, but otherwise have healthy sex drives. Me, I got a list of kink-fun a mile long that I'd like to try with the right individual, one day. </thread hijack> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knightley Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Hi Knightly, Yeah, I know, not all non-Christians are promiscuous.. I know, I know. Even in your example you gave a generic girl at the bar trying to hook up or whatever. That's all I mean. I said women of the world because I naievely thought people wouldn't absolutely destroy me because of my choice of words. And I also know that Christian girls/guys can be worse, mostly because of rebellion it seems tho. I just don't know how to find someone like you who has her head on her shoulders and isn't Christian, and preferably ex-Christian I spose. Hmm.. that's not a line, just what I'm up against. I just have general difficulties meeting women. I'm particularily shy.. possibly due to my Christian background I imagine somehow. When you say "women of the world" no offense but it sounds like you make us sound less than human, and you are at an exc forum. It sounds like you're still set in christianity, because of how you post about wanting xian girls and everything. There are great women out there just as there are great guys who aren't xian. We're not trying to destroy you but you are at an exc forum after all. Well anyhow, I suggest that you decide where you stand on religion and faith, otherwise it'll be hard to find a partner. If you're no longer a xian then try to meet women who aren't xian, and don't go to places where xian women are bound to be. Dunno if that helps, but don't be scared to get yourself out there, it takes time to be a little less shy. Most importantly don't give up on yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjacksonRIAB Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Hi Knightly, Yeah, I know, not all non-Christians are promiscuous.. I know, I know. Even in your example you gave a generic girl at the bar trying to hook up or whatever. That's all I mean. I said women of the world because I naievely thought people wouldn't absolutely destroy me because of my choice of words. And I also know that Christian girls/guys can be worse, mostly because of rebellion it seems tho. I just don't know how to find someone like you who has her head on her shoulders and isn't Christian, and preferably ex-Christian I spose. Hmm.. that's not a line, just what I'm up against. I just have general difficulties meeting women. I'm particularily shy.. possibly due to my Christian background I imagine somehow. In the USA there are a lot fewer atheists, so atheist men and women would be more difficult to find. The best way to be a part of the solution would be to advertise the fact that you are an atheist so you will be more easily found. You seem to have said non-Christian women were more promiscuous but you also said they're very very difficult to find. How can you know they are if you can't find them? I agree. Get your magnifying glass out, and stop cutting yourself off at the knees by suggesting there is something inherently wrong with the women you are interested in. You can't move forward by going backwards -it's a physical impossibility. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMalone Posted July 21, 2006 Author Share Posted July 21, 2006 Yeah, I hear what you guys are saying. I joined an ultimate frisbee league this year with the hopes of making new friends. It's just the way they live and talk is so much different than what I'm used to. I still don't swear, I don't talk about sexual things, I don't make sexual jokes, I don't like to go out drinking or dancing, it's not my personality. It's tough.. for me. I've actually met some nice girls through that but most of them seem taken and I can't tell either way if they'd be interested in me. I still get along with my Christian friends.. we don't sit around and talk about God and if anything I'm the one to spark the theological discussions.. they don't like it because I know more than they do about their faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evergreen Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 I don't think I could date a Christian. He'd have to be very liberal in order for it to work out. I could probably date a Christian if his beliefs were like that of one of my best friends: She doesn't believe the bible is infallible, she doesn't believe all non-christians go to hell, she doesn't think dancing, drinking, non-marital sex, etc, are sins. She does believe Christ had some good things to say. I could probably date a guy who had beliefs like hers. I could never be with someone who believed I'm going to hell. And as for marriage ... Well, I don't think I want to go there with anyone. It doesn't mean anything to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knightley Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 Yeah, I hear what you guys are saying. I joined an ultimate frisbee league this year with the hopes of making new friends. It's just the way they live and talk is so much different than what I'm used to. I still don't swear, I don't talk about sexual things, I don't make sexual jokes, I don't like to go out drinking or dancing, it's not my personality. It's tough.. for me. I've actually met some nice girls through that but most of them seem taken and I can't tell either way if they'd be interested in me. I still get along with my Christian friends.. we don't sit around and talk about God and if anything I'm the one to spark the theological discussions.. they don't like it because I know more than they do about their faith. Well now doll, no one is saying that you have to become a goth, don black clothes and a pentagram, and start reading Karl Marx and Friedrich Nietzsche, and hit the local strip bar and have orgies. You have to be comfortable with who you are and with yourself. Sorry to hear that you've had bad luck with the opposite sex, but most have as well, we feel your pain. All you can do is give it your best shot, that's all you can ask out of yourself. Maybe try new things? Best of luck to you buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwissMiss Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 Would I ever date or marry a Christian? None of the ones in my area, that's for sure. Maybe a nice, liberal, Deistic or agnostic person, but Christians rank low on the totem pole. I'm attracted to Christian girls because (for the most part) the pretty ones still have a sense of humility and do not always give in to the many options they have to be promiscuous, they are typically quite moral, and all around just attractive. Women of "the world" (for the most part) seem to have a lot of baggage and although many are pretty, most haven't had the moral background most Christian have. (I'm just talking behaviour, humility, attitude, language, things like that.) Sounds like your quandary here isn't that you want a Christian girl. It's that you want a footstool. A humble, meek, quiet little servant who devotes herself to your every need, like a good little wife should, and who doesn't know enough about reality to know that she deserves better. Get off your high horse in regards to women, okay? For the most part, men like you aren't much better than the "worldly" women you have so many problems with. Definitely have to concur with LadyFeline here, since that was exactly my impression of the initial post when I read it. Since when does a woman have to be "humble"???? I took enough crap like that from a bloke who expected me to be "humble" and most of his problems was down to the extreme insecurity he had as a direct result of walking around with an ego over-inflated to bursting point! Exactly how humble are you that you demand such humilty from your mate?? Sorry, to vent but this has really got my goat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 Whether it's real or not, Christianity does offer hope to people that need what it presents that it can offer. Whoa...that's like saying a sugar pill offers hope to someone suffering from terminal cancer. It offers nothing substantial that simple human fellowship doesn't offer. Christianity is a placebo. That is exactly what I would say. Placebic Alpha and Omega; The Great I Wish The point of a placebo is that it still works... not to the same extent as reality, so to speak, but for some, Christianity provides a psychological framework that makes life make sense for them... and without it, they'd be confused and incapable of integrating into society. Placebos have no active ingredients, but through the power of the mind/body connection, they do have some efficacy. Of course, it depends on the disease or condition, but especially for pain and gastrotestinal diseases, they are very effective. If only they were still legal to use as a form of treatment. Yeah, I hear what you guys are saying. I joined an ultimate frisbee league this year with the hopes of making new friends. It's just the way they live and talk is so much different than what I'm used to. I still don't swear, I don't talk about sexual things, I don't make sexual jokes, I don't like to go out drinking or dancing, it's not my personality. It's tough.. for me. I've actually met some nice girls through that but most of them seem taken and I can't tell either way if they'd be interested in me. I still get along with my Christian friends.. we don't sit around and talk about God and if anything I'm the one to spark the theological discussions.. they don't like it because I know more than they do about their faith. Well, I do understand your dilemma. I am the female equivalent... I'm not very interesting in real life. I'm lucky my then Christian boyfriend deconverted with me and now we're married. Try the geeky/nerdy girl crowd... (we often get overlooked!! ). They aren't nearly so psychotically religious. Even the Christian ones. But they are also more reserved socially and more likely to be skeptical of religion. What's your major? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMalone Posted July 24, 2006 Author Share Posted July 24, 2006 SwissMiss, I just mean humble that many of the Christian girls I knew that were totally hot, didn't act all proud of themselves and try to wear clothes that showed their body off all the time. (That made them hotter to me however.) And they never ignored us nerdy guys because they didn't act like they were better than us, looking over our shoulder for the cool people. And just the attitude that even though they could pretty much get any guy they wanted, they acted surprised when they even got the smallest compliment and in this case, many of them actually were surprised.. not the fake surprised girls give.. common, you know what I mean. I never meant humble themselves to me or anything.. that's retarded. pandora, Yeah I know. I almost got the nerve to go up to 3 girls sitting at the beach today. But then the one I liked started smoking. I just don't like smoking, it's a general turn off, but I just wanted to do it, just to say I did. But I still chickened out .. Yeah, I gotta be confident, but I never really went down there to meet anybody. I presume they didn't either? I don't know. Whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalidasa Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 No. I could never date OR marry a Christian. But providing there were no strings attached, I'd happily fuck one on the side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 The point of a placebo is that it still works... not to the same extent as reality, so to speak, but for some, Christianity provides a psychological framework that makes life make sense for them... and without it, they'd be confused and incapable of integrating into society. Placebos have no active ingredients, but through the power of the mind/body connection, they do have some efficacy. Of course, it depends on the disease or condition, but especially for pain and gastrotestinal diseases, they are very effective. If only they were still legal to use as a form of treatment. I have to disagree. I never knew it was legal to prescribe a placebo in the first place, but I'm glad it's not now. Sure, there is plenty to be said for the power of the mind over the body, but all in all, that doesn't solve the problem unless there wasn't much of a problem to begin with, or the problem was all psychological anyway. So it is for Christianity. It's a placebo, something to pacify those who can't handle the idea of there being no true meaning to our existence other than what we make of it. But using this placebo instead of trying to face the underlying issue could be dangerous. Sure, many people believe in Christianity and live happy productive lives, not harming anyone else or themselves. But that tends to be the exception and not the rule...at least in my experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Variable Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 SwissMiss,I just mean humble that many of the Christian girls I knew that were totally hot, didn't act all proud of themselves and try to wear clothes that showed their body off all the time. (That made them hotter to me however.) And they never ignored us nerdy guys because they didn't act like they were better than us, looking over our shoulder for the cool people. And just the attitude that even though they could pretty much get any guy they wanted, they acted surprised when they even got the smallest compliment and in this case, many of them actually were surprised.. not the fake surprised girls give.. common, you know what I mean. I never meant humble themselves to me or anything.. that's retarded. pandora, Yeah I know. I almost got the nerve to go up to 3 girls sitting at the beach today. But then the one I liked started smoking. I just don't like smoking, it's a general turn off, but I just wanted to do it, just to say I did. But I still chickened out .. Yeah, I gotta be confident, but I never really went down there to meet anybody. I presume they didn't either? I don't If you ever married a Christian woman, the rubber would really hit the road when it came to raising your kids. Your going to teach them science. She's going to teach them Noah's Ark. You're going to put them in timeout.? She's going to paddle them. You'll teach contraception. She'll teach abstinence. Ect., Ect., Ect., Did you are think about meeting some women involved in secular humanism? A lot of the idealist, high-standards, geeky, I'm-going-to-change-the-world-for-the-better stuff without religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeiPassion Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I wouldn't date nor marry a Christian. For one, at times some Christians acted as if they are somehow superior to "worldly people". I've seen this so much and it would disgust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 I guess with all things, everything depends on the people involved. However, generally speaking, do you think you would date/marry a Christian? No way; I wouldn't even consider it. It'd be the last thing I'd ever do. Nor would I date anyone who is religious (doesn't matter what religion). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 I guess with all things, everything depends on the people involved. However, generally speaking, do you think you would date/marry a Christian? Ahem... Phuck Know! Why would anyone want the abuse?!?! And most Christian girls are frigid anyway...sex is from the devol! We'd have to have our first intimacy on friggin' easter day after Church, and she'd be commenting on how wonderful Jesus is or some fucking shit like that. "Ok honey, that's nice." I'd end up going to the bathroom jacking off to a picture of Nikki Nova on my cell phone. Shawn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 I would consider dating a really liberal Christian, but a born-again fundmentalist, never. I prefer not having any drama in my personal relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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