Grandpa Harley Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 There are no atheists in foxholes. That one rarely fails to raise my blood pressure to unhealthy levels. What a load of smug ignorance. I usually point out that my Grandfather, having been an atillery man at both Ypres and the Somme, came back an atheist. God, for my Grandfather, died in the Trenches, along with most of his friends and his brother in law... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garnet Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 I usually point out that my Grandfather, having been an atillery man at both Ypres and the Somme, came back an atheist. God, for my Grandfather, died in the Trenches, along with most of his friends and his brother in law... Yup. My husband is a Nam vet. He was an atheist before the war, during the war and he's still an atheist. I've done some work with combat veterans and from my unscientific perspective, they are more likely to be atheists or agnotics than Christians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 An old pal of mine was in Bosnia... he said that having had to mop yet another squaddie's brain off the floor you get a perspective on 'loving creators'... when I first met him at uni, he was a Chaplaincy lurker.... now he's atheist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Thompson Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 when I first met him at uni, he was a Chaplaincy lurker.... now he's atheist. Another soul saved! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Hallelujah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Thompson Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 he said that having had to mop yet another squaddie's brain off the floor you get a perspective on 'loving creators' I wonder how anyone can look at the world and say that there is a loving creator. Unless they are snobs and don't see further than their own gold sprinkled lawn and swimming pools of chocolate sauce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 he said that having had to mop yet another squaddie's brain off the floor you get a perspective on 'loving creators' I wonder how anyone can look at the world and say that there is a loving creator. Unless they are snobs and don't see further than their own gold sprinkled lawn and swimming pools of chocolate sauce. I concur... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 There are no atheists in foxholes. That one rarely fails to raise my blood pressure to unhealthy levels. What a load of smug ignorance. I usually point out that my Grandfather, having been an atillery man at both Ypres and the Somme, came back an atheist. God, for my Grandfather, died in the Trenches, along with most of his friends and his brother in law... Let alone that this atheist/foxhole crap is one of the most bizarre self-contradictions, as I see it, the cultists ever let loose on the world. So, "there are no atheists in foxholes", eh? Remember the constant blah-yadda from the same crowd about how "the nazis were atheists"? I'm impressed. How did they manage to conquer most of Europe while hiding in their homes like wimps? Resolve that fundie fuckfaces! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthOkkata Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 Thurisaz's law (first pointed out by Varokhar): After cutting out the fluff, all fundie postings can be summed up as "Phn'glui mglw'nafh jebus heaven wgah'nagl fthagn!". You forgot the word 'Hell'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Thurisaz's law (first pointed out by Varokhar): After cutting out the fluff, all fundie postings can be summed up as "Phn'glui mglw'nafh jebus heaven wgah'nagl fthagn!". You forgot the word 'Hell'. But... Jesus lies sleeping in heaven... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 "Saaaaaaaaaatan!" When a old Christian see things that he or she dislike. "Jesus will heal you" One of the biggest lies ever. "Don't you know Jesus love you?" Yeah and I don't love him back. "God wanted the world to listen to him but they were all bad in His Opinion so he flooded it" What about the innocent children, teens, disableds, non Heteros, old people and animals? I guess they were EVIL! "Two men or women marrying is an abomination" Catholic Priests, mass murderers and rapists, anyone? "Masturbation is a sin" And misguided horrific crimes isn't? "We are all worthless sinners!" One of the most annoying and debasing catchphrases EVER! Humanity can make something of itself if it tries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Florida Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 I am to the point where I enjoy the Christian catch phrases, especially when my teenagers are around. One once told my son that masturbation was an evil homosexual act, to which my son answered, "If God didn't want us to masturbate... he'd have made our arms shorter". What really bugs me is are the big gas hog vehicles with the red, white and blue bumperstickers, "God Bless America" and "The Power of Pride". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthOkkata Posted May 5, 2007 Author Share Posted May 5, 2007 There are no atheists in foxholes. That one rarely fails to raise my blood pressure to unhealthy levels. What a load of smug ignorance. I lost it at work today. Some bible thumper who has been harrassing me and shoving 'jesus pamplets' at me for the last few weeks said this to me on my way out the door after I got off and I slapped them and replied. "Tell that to the Tillman family." My boss about fell over laughing. Not right away, he heard about it from one of the officers that had been summoned. They picked me up about a block away and drove me back to work. I explained my story then, and my coworkers and a few witnesses backed me up. Then I spent a half hour in the back of a cop car before they let me go. I'm not fired either. Boy is that family pissed. I don't think they'll be back to annoy me at work anymore. What can I say? I'm still pissed at the President for telling me I'm not an American. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Florida Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 You've had quite a day sir. When I first moved to this fine state shaped like a limp penis, I had the pleasure of waiting tables. Every now and then a customer would leave me a "jesus pamplet" instead of a tip (without asking me if I was a christian or not)... and once one invited me to his church but explained that if I did come to not wear make-up or revealing clothes or jewelry because God didn't like it. This was a Hooters restaurant... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthOkkata Posted May 5, 2007 Author Share Posted May 5, 2007 You've had quite a day sir. When I first moved to this fine state shaped like a limp penis, I had the pleasure of waiting tables. Every now and then a customer would leave me a "jesus pamplet" instead of a tip (without asking me if I was a christian or not)... and once one invited me to his church but explained that if I did come to not wear make-up or revealing clothes or jewelry because God didn't like it. This was a Hooters restaurant... Yeah. I feel rather fulfilled because of it oddly enough. I work in a restaurant now. I can't handle waiting, I'm not enough of a 'people person'. The perfect kind of person for 'back of the house' work. I've started trading literature with them. I've got a few of the Chthulu tracts that I printed out. [see humor section]. I've also got some of the 'Bible reference' cards from the main blog page. Great fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Florida Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 I've started trading literature with them. I've got a few of the Chthulu tracts that I printed out. [see humor section]. I've also got some of the 'Bible reference' cards from the main blog page. Great fun. Good idea! You can't get arrested for that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Thurisaz's law (first pointed out by Varokhar): After cutting out the fluff, all fundie postings can be summed up as "Phn'glui mglw'nafh jebus heaven wgah'nagl fthagn!". You forgot the word 'Hell'. Basically right, but including that would break the metrics. Doesn't read as nicely if you replace "Cthulhu R'lyeh" with "jebus heaven hell", no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthOkkata Posted May 5, 2007 Author Share Posted May 5, 2007 Thurisaz's law (first pointed out by Varokhar): After cutting out the fluff, all fundie postings can be summed up as "Phn'glui mglw'nafh jebus heaven wgah'nagl fthagn!". You forgot the word 'Hell'. Basically right, but including that would break the metrics. Doesn't read as nicely if you replace "Cthulhu R'lyeh" with "jebus heaven hell", no? It works if you put it near the end rather than in the middle, like this: "Phn'glui mglw'nafh jebus heaven wgah'nagl hell fthagn!". Or, if you want to go old school death metal, do it backwards. "Phn'glui mglw'nafh susej nevaeh lleh wgah'nagl fthagn!". Though, that works best in print form... Most people aren't going to get the Lovecraft refference anyway, and it seems slicker to slip it in near the end. That's usually the order of the Fundies speech. Jesus loves you, youll go to heaven, follow what you'll learn in my church or you'll burn in hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garnet Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 I lost it at work today. Some bible thumper who has been harrassing me and shoving 'jesus pamplets' at me for the last few weeks said this to me on my way out the door after I got off and I slapped them and replied. "Tell that to the Tillman family." My boss about fell over laughing. Not right away, he heard about it from one of the officers that had been summoned. They picked me up about a block away and drove me back to work. I explained my story then, and my coworkers and a few witnesses backed me up. Then I spent a half hour in the back of a cop car before they let me go. I'm not fired either. Boy is that family pissed. I don't think they'll be back to annoy me at work anymore. What can I say? I'm still pissed at the President for telling me I'm not an American. I cannot tell you how many times I've wanted to do something like that. In my opinion, persistent and unwelcome proseletyzing is a form of harrasment. I had to get an order of protection against a street preacher in Alabama who not only harrangued me every day as I was walking from my car to my office, but also showed up at my apartment building one morning. Gah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 You've had quite a day sir. When I first moved to this fine state shaped like a limp penis, I had the pleasure of waiting tables. Every now and then a customer would leave me a "jesus pamplet" instead of a tip (without asking me if I was a christian or not)... and once one invited me to his church but explained that if I did come to not wear make-up or revealing clothes or jewelry because God didn't like it. This was a Hooters restaurant... Those bible boys do love their Hooters bars... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordofGondor Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 "God made dirt so it can't hurt." I heard this one from a Christian friend before the end of the winter semester, after I dropped my fork on the ground while eating lunch. Fuck. I mean things like 'Jesus saves' and 'Jesus loves you' are understandable, but this is just stupid. God made dirt? So? He also created pain and death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 "God made dirt so it can't hurt." I heard this one from a Christian friend before the end of the winter semester, after I dropped my fork on the ground while eating lunch. Fuck. I mean things like 'Jesus saves' and 'Jesus loves you' are understandable, but this is just stupid. God made dirt? So? He also created pain and death. and influenze, ebola, dengue... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 It's the complete misperceptions and myths about non-Xians that get to me most, especially the ones about atheists (seein' as how I'm an atheist and all...). Stuff like: "How can you believe in nothing?!" "God doesn't believe in atheists!" "Why do you hate God/Jesus??" "You're just an atheist because you're mad at God." I fucking hate that little word: "just". You're just angry, you're just upset, you're just whatever... how well those four little letters serve as a tool to dismiss people's feelings, issues, experiences, their reasons, their mind, who they are and where they've been, everything. I spent years struggling with Xian belief, and struggling every step of the way until the day I got out of it. It wasn't easy, simple, or painless. And I know other people here spent far longer doing the same thing, and had far more painful experiences doing it than I ever did. So it fucking makes me see red whenever some asshat stands there and decides to sum up the total of my spiritual life with a sentence prefaced by that little word: "You're just..." Other phrases which get on my pecs: "Oh, but those people weren't really Christians!" Variant: "Oh, but that wasn't real Christianity!" Either one spoken when some atrocity committed by Xians and/or Xianity comes up - the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Phelps family, standard stuff... Oooh. And all the circular crap about faith. That drives me nuts. About how you have to have faith in order to believe, and only God gives you faith, but then if you don't believe it's because you didn't have enough faith... and when people can't tell the difference between faith and knowledge. "I KNOW God is real, because I have faith that he is!" And, in the same vein as the "God made dirt" line, I actually got this one once, when I was a vegetarian, and went to a BBQ hosted by a friend of the family (who was also a pastor): "God made meat for you to eat!" Smegheads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toxic Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 "Oh, but those people weren't really Christians!" Variant: "Oh, but that wasn't real Christianity!" Either one spoken when some atrocity committed by Xians and/or Xianity comes up - the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Phelps family, standard stuff... The version I've heard is "But that's not God, that's man." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 They were following emulating what God did to the Egyptians, or to Herod... either will do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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