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Goodbye Jesus

Heaven and Hell


thomas

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These are questions for Christians.

 

What are your expectations about heaven – how will your life be in heaven?

And how about people in hell, will you be aware of them?

Will you be aware of missing relatives, or will God take the memories about them away from you?

 

If you are aware of them, what will you do. Will you then be happy that you made it, or will you ask God permission to sent a witness team to hell, in order to try to save some more people?

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An eternity of kissing god's ass and singing his praises...no thanks.

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Heaven:

Wake up in morning, blinded by the light of the Son.

Put on Songlasses.

Look in the mirror, I have a permanent smile.

Take shower,

stare at my penis for a few years, or was it a few hundred years? (erections are forbidden)

Slip on the wet gold floor ( again), hit my head, no injury.

slip on white robe.

Grab guitar ( running late again, nevermind, its Eternity)

Run out the door and across the steet, accidentaly stepping on a fetus and some stem cells. again I slip and fall on the slippery gold surface.

Oh shit, now I have fetus juice all over my robe.

Morning Praise service has already started,

they are singing Kum-By-Ya

God is sitting in his throne looking bored, i think He has heard this song before.

In between songs, in the distance, you can hear the cacophony and screams of billions of people burning to death. So quickly we begin another song.

WE sing the songs as slowly as possible, to pass the time.

Every one is happy and full of smiles and enthusiasm.

they cant help it, GOd erased all bad memory.

Everyday is the happier than the day before.

God sits up, walks into the crowd and the crowds seem eager to talk to GOd.

God looks bored as everyone wants an autograph, and to tell God how awesome He is.

 

Time to go to bed and start all over in the morning.

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Hehe, I liked the Kumb-by-ya, "he heard this song before", that's funny.

 

Probably that's what he thinks in heaven even when we sing worship here. "Same song again! Please! Can some make them to shut UP?"

 

Maybe that explains the absence of miracles today, God gave up, he locked himself in, in a 6-by-4 with padded walls.

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Guest JP1283

My grandmother and I were discussing this last night. We both agree that a 24/7 Praise-a-thon for Jesus just doesn't sound that great. Most people think that heaven is going to be a day at the beach, a paradise of some sort...WRONG. It's going to be an eternal church service, where you're worshipping and praising God forever and ever. And Ever. No thanks.

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I don't think so JP. I think it's going to be just like right now only everything in it's perfect state.

 

Imagine everything you do...........now imagine it "perfect".

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The christian near death experienced people talk about heaven as a great place with houses, flowers, trees, animals and lot's of x-box games. So I'm not to worried about the heaven stuff. It's the free will and do whatever, that worries me. Will it be booooring?

 

One preacher said in heaven we'll have Gods powers to create stuff, so I probably create a castle with my own harem... oops, I hope my wife doesn't see this...

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I don't think so JP. I think it's going to be just like right now only everything in it's perfect state.

 

Imagine everything you do...........now imagine it "perfect".

TAPster, well, in heaven you're gonna be perfect. How in "the hell" :wicked::wicked: is that being even a human? We are defined by bad or misguided choices and NOT making those choices (which makes us "saints" or "sinners".

 

While we are giving the juicey wax lips to gods glorious buttocks - ask yourself this - how we EVEN!!!! a reflection of ourself - HWAT MAKE YOU - you - in this heaven?

 

Regardless my friends, you are not who you are, without fucking up here or there.

 

Or are you a program? If you are see predestination.

 

I know you reject that.

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Next thought here...

 

Why did God have to make heaven, when he could have made it perfect in this world for starters?

 

Was this world "Jesusoft Universe 1.0", and heaven is "Jesusoft Universe 1.0 SP1"???

 

What is hell? Jesusoft Windows XP?

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But I thought it was perfect the first time?? Or I could be reading Genesis 1 wrong.  Maybe good doesn't really mean good, maybe it means imperfect.  But then that would mean that God isn't perfect because he made a flawed world, and also a flawed heaven (evil angels).  Maybe that's why he's taking so long to end this world in it's current state.......He figured it takes longer than 6 days to make perfection.

 

Maybe earth is hell.

It took 6 days to create the world but 6000 years to destroy it.

Every married woman probably now say "God must be a man" :)

 

The thought that Earth is hell, has struck me many times before.

 

I wish I knew what stupid thing I did in the previous world...

Hopefully I get it right this time...

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....stare at my penis for a few years, or was it a few hundred years? (erections are forbidden)

 

 

Ha, ha, your penise will become just another useless appendix. :ugh:

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I don't think so JP. I think it's going to be just like right now only everything in it's perfect state.

 

Imagine everything you do...........now imagine it "perfect".

 

TAP, what does the word perfect mean to you? How does heaven need to be in order to match the label "perfect"?

 

Will heaven be in a static condtion? One could say that it must be static, because if it changes, it won't be perfect any more. But at the other hand, a static heaven could probably become quite boring. But of course, this depends of what you mean by using the word "perfect".

 

And how about people in hell (you may have answered it in another tread, but I am not sure)? Can your life in heaven be just perfect, if you know that others are suffering in hell? Or if God hides the awarenes of hell from you, can you the then trust him, what else does he hide?

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I don't think so JP. I think it's going to be just like right now only everything in it's perfect state.

 

Imagine everything you do...........now imagine it "perfect".

 

What, no opportunity to screw up, you can never make mistakes, never learn from those mistakes? Since everything is perfect do you know everything? Since this is a perfect world, how do you deem a specific day as "special?" Lets say hypothetically that heaven is, in fact, a perfect version of everyday life, then wouldn't our non-christian relatives still be in hell? How can you have a perfect day when your parents are burning in hell for all eternity?

 

Food for thought

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I don't think so JP. I think it's going to be just like right now only everything in it's perfect state.

 

Imagine everything you do...........now imagine it "perfect".

 

 

Tap,

 

Did you ever see that old Twilight Zone episode where a gangster gets shot while robbing a bank (or something close to that scenario)?

 

Anyway, after getting shot, he opens a door in the alley and on the other side is a beautiful mansion. Crystal chandelier, spiraling stair case, beautiful female servants, his dream come true. Everything was perfect. He quickly realized that the place belonged to him and soon he was relaxing in the parlor having his every need met. If he wanted a cigar, a servant brought him one without him even asking.

 

Flash forward a few moments.

 

Now the guy is starting to get sick of the perfection. He's tired of not having any challenge; of not having to even request for a need to be met. He picks up a pool stick in frustration, takes a shot, and all balls go directly to their holes. No effort on his part. Everything perfect. Everything frustrating! What's wrong with this place!!! I thought I was in heaven?!!! Or am I in, NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

I always liked that episode.

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Tap,

 

Did you ever see that old Twilight Zone episode where a gangster gets shot while robbing a bank (or something close to that scenario)?

 

Anyway, after getting shot, he opens a door in the alley and on the other side is a beautiful mansion.  Crystal chandelier, spiraling stair case, beautiful female servants, his dream come true.  Everything was perfect.  He quickly realized that the place belonged to him and soon he was relaxing in the parlor having his every need met.  If he wanted a cigar, a servant brought him one without him even asking. 

 

Flash forward a few moments.

 

Now the guy is starting to get sick of the perfection.  He's tired of not having any challenge; of not having to even request for a need to be met.  He picks up a pool stick in frustration, takes a shot, and all balls go directly to their holes.  No effort on his part.  Everything perfect.  Everything frustrating!  What's wrong with this place!!!  I thought I was in heaven?!!!  Or am I in, NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

I always liked that episode.

 

 

Exactely my point, sounds like a perfect hell doesn't it.

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These are questions for Christians.

 

What are your expectations about heaven – how will your life be in heaven?

And how about people in hell, will you be aware of them?

Will you be aware of missing relatives, or will God take the memories about them away from you?

 

If you are aware of them, what will you do. Will you then be happy that you made it, or will you ask God permission to sent a witness team to hell, in order to try to save some more people?

 

Hey Thomas, I love a lot of the humor y'all use on your thread! A little concerned about the preoccupation with the 'penis' of a few out there, but I guess its worthy of their concerns... that's out of my area... :HaHa:

 

Now about heaven and hell... the Bible speaks of 4 realms of hell and at least 3 realms of heaven... yet generally speaking for all these nice folks here... perhaps heaven and hell is a state of mind, and that war exists while you are right here? I'm in NO way saying that anyone here is in hell, as ANYONE could taste of hell... (and its good no one goes for ever) ...although it could be possible that a Divine respect for the animating force and underlying harmony to our universe, and beyond, could be an added enrichment? Could be, you guys....

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Guest JP1283
Tap,

 

Did you ever see that old Twilight Zone episode where a gangster gets shot while robbing a bank (or something close to that scenario)?

 

Anyway, after getting shot, he opens a door in the alley and on the other side is a beautiful mansion.  Crystal chandelier, spiraling stair case, beautiful female servants, his dream come true.  Everything was perfect.  He quickly realized that the place belonged to him and soon he was relaxing in the parlor having his every need met.  If he wanted a cigar, a servant brought him one without him even asking. 

 

Flash forward a few moments.

 

Now the guy is starting to get sick of the perfection.  He's tired of not having any challenge; of not having to even request for a need to be met.  He picks up a pool stick in frustration, takes a shot, and all balls go directly to their holes.  No effort on his part.  Everything perfect.  Everything frustrating!  What's wrong with this place!!!  I thought I was in heaven?!!!  Or am I in, NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

I always liked that episode.

 

Vigile,

I have never thought of it like that. Yes, eternal perfection would get old fast and start to suck. Actually, I think that living forever would start to suck too. I really don't want to live forever...that's why I hope that there's nothingness at the end.

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Vigile,

I have never thought of it like that.  Yes, eternal perfection would get old fast and start to suck.  Actually, I think that living forever would start to suck too.  I really don't want to live forever...that's why I hope that there's nothingness at the end.

 

I wouldn't mind living longer, if not forever. As long as life didn't have to be a constant struggle for survival and you could have control over your own destiny. I would spend a lifetime studying any subject that piques my interest, spend several lifetimes traveling, etc. I think I would like a groundhog day type of existance (refering to Bill Murray's movie).

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Now about heaven and hell... the Bible speaks of 4 realms of hell and at least 3 realms of heaven... yet generally speaking for all these nice folks here... perhaps heaven and hell is a state of mind, and that war exists while you are right here? I'm in NO way saying that anyone here is in hell, as ANYONE could taste of hell... (and its good no one goes for ever) ...although it could be possible that a Divine respect for the animating force and underlying harmony to our universe, and beyond, could be an added enrichment? Could be, you guys....

 

 

Amanda

 

I am not 100 % sure, what you are suggesting here. Certainly, some people do have a more positive approach to life than others, but is it what you are talking about? Are you saying, that the authors of the bible had some mental reprogramming stuff in mind, when writing? - Or....?

 

Please explain.

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Amanda

 

I am not 100 % sure, what you are suggesting here. Certainly, some people do have a more positive approach to life than others, but is it what you are talking about? Are you saying, that the authors of the bible had some mental reprogramming stuff in mind, when writing? - Or....?

 

Please explain.

 

Thomas, I think that perhaps heaven and hell could also be a state of mind... Perhaps if one doesn't have any solid foundations on which to stand, could that be in the bottomless pit? Damnation means judgement in the lexicon... and perhaps sometimes judgement from ourself, of ourself, in recognition of the Truth of what we have done maliciously, that we can not change, can seem to be mentally eternal hell for us? Since much of land appeared from volcanes, could this be the lake of fire on which we stand weeping and gnashing of teeth? Of course there is a heaven that can manifest within, a way of existing in Truth, not complacency, a way that respects others as one's self, that perhaps sees love at the core of all things... and I suppose... maybe... that may be different for each?

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Thomas, I think that perhaps heaven and hell could also be a state of mind... Perhaps if one doesn't have any solid foundations on which to stand, could that be in the bottomless pit? Damnation means judgement in the lexicon... and perhaps sometimes judgement from ourself, of ourself, in recognition of the Truth of what we have done maliciously, that we can not change, can seem to be mentally eternal hell for us? Since much of land appeared from volcanes, could this be the lake of fire on which we stand weeping and gnashing of teeth? Of course there is a heaven that can manifest within, a way of existing in Truth, not complacency, a way that respects others as one's self, that perhaps sees love at the core of all things... and I suppose... maybe... that may be different for each?

 

 

Amanda

 

I guess it is possible to use the concepts of heaven and hell to describe what is going on inside a person. But what is the purpose of doing so?

 

Normally religious language uses metaphors. This means, that words with well defined meaning in the natural world are taken out of their normal context and are used to describe some abstract concepts in the supernatural/religious world. Since we by definition don’t have a common human experience about the supernatural religious concepts, we don’t have well defined words for it, and metaphors are therefore our only option.

 

But metaphors should not be taken to literally. For example, when Christians say that God is their father, one should not ask, “who is then the mother”? The word “father” is used to describe some aspects of the Christian God, but it is not a 100% match. The same is the case when the word “fire” is used to describe hell, and “gates of gold” is used to describe heaven.

 

So since our understanding of heaven and hell relies on metaphors, why use such abstract and unclear concept to describe the human heart? :Hmm:

 

Why not use metaphors from our common everyday life, or maybe some well defined psychological concepts. Wouldn’t it be more relevant than talking about heaven and hell?

 

The only reason I can see (but of course, I may be wrong) for you to use heaven and hell to describe human existence is, that you believe in one true interpretation of the bible. And if this interpretation is about what is going on in people here and now, we may forget about an eternal hell (and an eternal heaven?). But this is not traditional Christian belief, as it has been brought to us through Roman Christianity.

 

Traditional Christianity believes in hell as a physical "burning" reality I don’t believe in it, since I am not a Christian any more. I cannot reconcile it with a loving God. If you don’t believe in it either, then fine. But why not just try to forget the whole religious crap, and develop meaningful concepts for meaningful communication about life in this world, instead.

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The only reason I can see (but of course, I may be wrong) for you to use heaven and hell to describe human existence is, that you believe in one true interpretation of the bible. And if this interpretation is about what is going on in people here and now, we may forget about an eternal hell (and an eternal heaven?). But this is not traditional Christian belief, as it has been brought to us through Roman Christianity.

 

Traditional Christianity believes in hell as a physical "burning" reality I don’t believe in it, since I am not a Christian any more. I cannot reconcile it with a loving God. If you don’t believe in it either, then fine. But why not just try to forget the whole religious crap, and develop meaningful concepts for meaningful communication about life in this world, instead.

 

Thomas, I am not a "traditional" Christian. I, 'personally' seek for knowledge of Jesus with conclusions that often are not in harmony with "traditional" Christianity. Meaningful concepts for meaningful communication about life in this world is without offense to me. :grin:

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Thomas, she's a gnostic Christian - totally different animal than you're used to.

-Lokmer

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Thomas, she's a gnostic Christian - totally different animal than you're used to.

-Lokmer

 

and then I'm use to....

 

I read along with everything she types. I hardly recognize anything as scriptural....which is where I believe Christianity comes from.

 

I'm not judging........just making an observation.

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