Antlerman Posted July 7, 2009 Author Share Posted July 7, 2009 How may days is the countdown on now? Funny you should ask! The anticipation is growing wild! Closer, closer.... any day now! Still Waiting: Day 721,928 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted July 7, 2009 Author Share Posted July 7, 2009 I have just determined the day of the Lord's return! We are currently at 721,928 days since the promise of the immanent return of Jesus for his flock, but realizing now in hindsight that he meant exactly 1,000,000 days later, this puts the day of Christ's return 761 years from today, or precisely on July 7 of the year 2770 (around 12:35 PM Central Time). That's three 7's in the number, thereby showing a 3 fold repetition of God's perfect number 7. A sign of divinity. What more evidence do you need? Believe and be saved! He's coming soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Good grief, I was waiting for God for THIS long? Dammit, that Beckett've been owing me two millennium's amount of pints! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Davka Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 I have just determined the day of the Lord's return! We are currently at 721,928 days since the promise of the immanent return of Jesus for his flock, but realizing now in hindsight that he meant exactly 1,000,000 days later, this puts the day of Christ's return 761 years from today, or precisely on July 7 of the year 2770 (around 12:35 PM Central Time). That's three 7's in the number, thereby showing a 3 fold repetition of God's perfect number 7. A sign of divinity. What more evidence do you need? Believe and be saved! He's coming soon! . . . and it's also 07/07/70, which is even more sacred because of the zeros. Zero is a placeholder, like a pew warmer. But more to the point, it means nothing. I know what you're thinking: "is nothing sacred?" Yes, in fact, it most certainly is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kryten Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 Still Waiting: Day 721,389Just as a hypothetical, what would you do if the blue sky split open? Isn't the sky already open? How does NASA open it when sending objects into orbit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 Update! Update! Apparently we are now in the Tribulation! This latest development places us at, drum roll...... Day 722,400! Soon now folks, really soon considering the Tribulation is only 7 short years! Get your affairs in order! Jesus is coming!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Have those holding their breath turned blue yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 Have those holding their breath turned blue yet? Those that did died after 6 minutes without oxygen. That was 1,040,255,994 minutes ago for them, or roughly 31,207,679,820 breaths ago. But, the good news is we are now at last, finally down to somewhere less than only 61,320 hours left before the promise is finally fulfilled and Jesus comes back to kill with fire bolts and large heavy stones all those who didn't accept his love! That means we if don't repent and join the ranks of the holy blessed we will have somewhere less than 110,376,000 breaths left to breathe before his love turns to death for the un-coverted! This is your Wake Up Call! Repent, God Damnit!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 Have those holding their breath turned blue yet? Those that did died after 6 minutes without oxygen. That was 1,040,255,994 minutes ago for them, or roughly 31,207,679,820 breaths ago. But you don't know that! You can't prove they didn't have a miracle and survived for several days. So I win. Jesus said "this generation will not die," so somehow they survived until today. They're just hiding somewhere in a cave for the right day (still holding their breath). If you find them, and they're just bones, don't be fooled, they're just pretending to be dead. But, the good news is we are now at last, finally down to somewhere less than only 61,320 hours left before the promise is finally fulfilled and Jesus comes back to kill with fire bolts and large heavy stones all those who didn't accept his love! Only 61,000+ hours. Finally, we'll meet the big man. The guy in the sky. El jefe. The spiritual master race fuhrer. That means we if don't repent and join the ranks of the holy blessed we will have somewhere less than 110,376,000 breaths left to breathe before his love turns to death for the un-coverted! This is your Wake Up Call! Repent, God Damnit!! It's a strange word, isn't it. Re-pent. I don't know I "pented" the first time, so why should I pent a second time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 Are each of those days as a thousand years? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 Wait. If each day is a thousand years, and a thousand years are 365,000 days, and all those days are thousand years, then we have 365 million years, which means that ... damn... recursive loop... no exist strategy... memory overload! *blip* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 Wait. If each day is a thousand years, and a thousand years are 365,000 days, and all those days are thousand years, then we have 365 million years, which means that ... damn... recursive loop... no exist strategy... memory overload! *blip* I never thought of that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.B. Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 I think Antlerman said it best a few pages ago: "What "Jesus" meant is besides the point. It's what you choose to see that is the point." That's ALWAYS the case... that's why there's always more than one church in a town with a church at all. Oh, and that's why there are THOUSANDS of denominations, and thousands of dissenters even within the ranks of the denominations, right up to and including the leadership. It's all because "god" somehow magically ALWAYS manages to decree EXACTLY what I (or my group, church, fan-club, racial subset, etc) need him to. OF COURSE "god" is leading us and not "them". By the way, end3 and whatever other smiling automatons are out here... I have a most serious question for you. How is it that you and someone who believes something completely different from you about your Magic Sky Man can both be "true believers"? Seriously... there are churches and denominations that teach totally contrasting things about their god, and yet WE, the ones who think otherwise, are the outcasts, the "lost", the "heathen". How come you don't clean out your own theological shithouses first before you come addressing all of us as inferior and needful of your war god's mercy and "salvation"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted May 20, 2011 Author Share Posted May 20, 2011 Still waiting...... Day 722,600! ONE DAY LEFT!!!!! :woohoo: Maybe..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlphaToOmega Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 And as an aside.....and I plead ignorance, but are most myths so indepth? I mean, to my recollection, all the life questions that we have addressed seemed to be addressed in the Bible....maybe not all, but a darn many, literally or figuratively. Does that not strike some question in your mind? I have a lot of questions that I've never seen addressed in the Bible: Sure, I'll answer all you questions. Why does the Bible indicate that the Universe is 6000 years old when the natural evidence indicates it is 13.5 to 14 billion years old? Because the devil made it appear that way to mislead the faithful. Why are innocent children killed in God's pograms? Because they go straight to Heaven and bypass all the crap on Earth. This is why its apparently ok to kill children since it gives them eternal life. Why are innocent children sold into sex slavery? Because Priests are too busy to train them. Why doesn't god heal amputees? Why didn't I get a bike for my tenth Christmas? How does God get out of the way when I pee? Where did Cain get his wife? Why did God kill David's kid for David's sin instead of David? Why does God hate gay people, but is ok with fat Christians? Why doesn't God turn the other cheek? What is the proper way to get saved? The bible doesn't know or is at least confused. They deserved it. You didn't deserve it. God IS your pee. From a website in Russia. It was easier. Because gay people make him feel hot and that's bad but Fat Christians are no temptation. Because it gives the gays easier access and he doesn't want to seem TOO easy. By pretending to faint. I've got more, If you know the answers to these. Fire away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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