Fundie Pet Peeves

[★ Citsonga ★]

Oh, I thought of another pet peeve. I live in the South so this happens a lot, but I've known people all over the country who do it. Before they eat, they bow their head and close their eyes and presumably say some sort of a meal blessing. It's quick, but long enough that people will notice if they're paying attention.

 

What they do in the privacy of their homes is not my business, but when this is going on in the work lunchroom in the middle of a lively unrelated conversation, it peeves the hell out of me. Subtle, but intrusive. I mean, can't they can't chew and pray at the same time?

 

BTW, LOVE the movie Junebug!

I think that's a combination of piety, Pharisee prayer, and "let your light shine before men."

 

I'd say that it varies from individual to individual. I used to do it, but it was basically a learned thing, since my parents (especially my father) did it. I thought it was good to take a moment to pause and thank god. I didn't care if people saw or not, that wasn't the point for me. But I suspect that some probably do do it in a Pharisaical way, wanting people to notice.

 

As far as praying and chewing at the same time, it was considered less reverent because you're being impatient. Patiently thanking god before partaking of the meal was considered more reverent. Although later in my christian life I abandoned that line of thinking, because an omniscient god would inevitably know whether you're sincere or not whether you're munching at the same time or not.

 

I knew a family that said grace over all their food at once when they brought it home from the grocery store. Then they didn't have to worry with it at mealtime. Drove the fundies nuts.

 

LOL, that's hilarious!

[Snakefoot]

Oh, I thought of another pet peeve. I live in the South so this happens a lot, but I've known people all over the country who do it. Before they eat, they bow their head and close their eyes and presumably say some sort of a meal blessing. It's quick, but long enough that people will notice if they're paying attention.

 

What they do in the privacy of their homes is not my business, but when this is going on in the work lunchroom in the middle of a lively unrelated conversation, it peeves the hell out of me. Subtle, but intrusive. I mean, can't they can't chew and pray at the same time?

 

BTW, LOVE the movie Junebug!

I think that's a combination of piety, Pharisee prayer, and "let your light shine before men."

 

I'd say that it varies from individual to individual. I used to do it, but it was basically a learned thing, since my parents (especially my father) did it. I thought it was good to take a moment to pause and thank god. I didn't care if people saw or not, that wasn't the point for me. But I suspect that some probably do do it in a Pharisaical way, wanting people to notice.

 

As far as praying and chewing at the same time, it was considered less reverent because you're being impatient. Patiently thanking god before partaking of the meal was considered more reverent. Although later in my christian life I abandoned that line of thinking, because an omniscient god would inevitably know whether you're sincere or not whether you're munching at the same time or not.

 

I knew a family that said grace over all their food at once when they brought it home from the grocery store. Then they didn't have to worry with it at mealtime. Drove the fundies nuts.

 

LOL, that's hilarious!

I love to cook for family and friends. If everyone sits quietly eating and I know the food is good, I'm insulted. I worked my ass off to make that. How about a little enthusiasm?

 

I love it when people say "grace" with: "Good friends, good eats, good lord--let's eat!" The more crunching, burping, slurping, belching, and arguing over who gets what, the better I like it.

 

If gawd actually provided the grub, he'd probably be similarly inclined.

[★ Citsonga ★]

If gawd actually provided the grub

 

Our lives would be much easier then, wouldn't they?

[Snakefoot]

If gawd actually provided the grub

 

Our lives would be much easier then, wouldn't they?

In the movie Shenandoah, Jimmy Stewart in honor of his xtian wife's memory, always said grace around the table with his many sons:

 

“Lord, we cleared this land. We plowed it, sowed it, and harvest it. We cook the harvest. It wouldn’t be here and we wouldn’t be eating it if we hadn’t done it all ourselves. We worked dog-bone hard for every crumb and morsel, but we thank you Lord just the same for the food we’re about to eat. Amen.”

[FreeLily]

 

I love to cook for family and friends. If everyone sits quietly eating and I know the food is good, I'm insulted. I worked my ass off to make that. How about a little enthusiasm?

 

I love it when people say "grace" with: "Good friends, good eats, good lord--let's eat!" The more crunching, burping, slurping, belching, and arguing over who gets what, the better I like it.

 

If gawd actually provided the grub, he'd probably be similarly inclined.

 

I love to cook, too, but my family talks way too much. If they are moved to gluttonous silence for a few minutes by my creations, it's a win-win

 

Belching is good, though. Earthy, cleansing, and makes room for more!

[★ Citsonga ★]

In the movie Shenandoah, Jimmy Stewart in honor of his xtian wife's memory, always said grace around the table with his many sons:

 

“Lord, we cleared this land. We plowed it, sowed it, and harvest it. We cook the harvest. It wouldn’t be here and we wouldn’t be eating it if we hadn’t done it all ourselves. We worked dog-bone hard for every crumb and morsel, but we thank you Lord just the same for the food we’re about to eat. Amen.”

Now THAT's a prayer worth framing and hanging on the wall!

[lunaticheathen]

Oh, I thought of another pet peeve. I live in the South so this happens a lot, but I've known people all over the country who do it. Before they eat, they bow their head and close their eyes and presumably say some sort of a meal blessing. It's quick, but long enough that people will notice if they're paying attention.

 

What they do in the privacy of their homes is not my business, but when this is going on in the work lunchroom in the middle of a lively unrelated conversation, it peeves the hell out of me. Subtle, but intrusive. I mean, can't they can't chew and pray at the same time?

 

I went to a boarding school for the last half of high school. Beliefs were varied, and several students did the "silent blessing" thing before eating. One girl cracked me up though - she was catholic (like many in Mobile), and she didn't close her eyes, she just got this silly look on her face, like she was running through words in her head, and crossed herself twice, VERY FAST. For some reason, when she was at my table, I just cracked up, and she did too. She was always "I just want to GET THROUGH IT!" She was generally silly, even watched Veggie Tales. Weird girl.

[alexander]

Oh, I thought of another pet peeve. I live in the South so this happens a lot, but I've known people all over the country who do it. Before they eat, they bow their head and close their eyes and presumably say some sort of a meal blessing. It's quick, but long enough that people will notice if they're paying attention.

 

What they do in the privacy of their homes is not my business, but when this is going on in the work lunchroom in the middle of a lively unrelated conversation, it peeves the hell out of me. Subtle, but intrusive. I mean, can't they can't chew and pray at the same time?

 

BTW, LOVE the movie Junebug!

 

I'm in the south too, and to get around saying a "prayer" or "grace", I use the "8 Word Grace":

 

"Good food, good meat, good lord let's eat!"

 

Let them figure out if you're saying the lord is good or good lord let's hurry up. By time they do, it will be time for serving number two of artery-hardening-deep fried thrice in Crisco-or-lard southern style pohk product.

[OpheliaGinger]

Oh, I thought of another pet peeve. I live in the South so this happens a lot, but I've known people all over the country who do it. Before they eat, they bow their head and close their eyes and presumably say some sort of a meal blessing. It's quick, but long enough that people will notice if they're paying attention.

 

What they do in the privacy of their homes is not my business, but when this is going on in the work lunchroom in the middle of a lively unrelated conversation, it peeves the hell out of me. Subtle, but intrusive. I mean, can't they can't chew and pray at the same time?

 

BTW, LOVE the movie Junebug!

 

I'm in the south too, and to get around saying a "prayer" or "grace", I use the "8 Word Grace":

 

"Good food, good meat, good lord let's eat!"

 

Let them figure out if you're saying the lord is good or good lord let's hurry up. By time they do, it will be time for serving number two of artery-hardening-deep fried thrice in Crisco-or-lard southern style pohk product.

 

Being from the south, I have felt out of place whenever my family gets together and eat because I do not like the lack of taste in the deep fried in fat casseroles.

[Snakefoot]

Oh, I thought of another pet peeve. I live in the South so this happens a lot, but I've known people all over the country who do it. Before they eat, they bow their head and close their eyes and presumably say some sort of a meal blessing. It's quick, but long enough that people will notice if they're paying attention.

 

What they do in the privacy of their homes is not my business, but when this is going on in the work lunchroom in the middle of a lively unrelated conversation, it peeves the hell out of me. Subtle, but intrusive. I mean, can't they can't chew and pray at the same time?

 

BTW, LOVE the movie Junebug!

 

I'm in the south too, and to get around saying a "prayer" or "grace", I use the "8 Word Grace":

 

"Good food, good meat, good lord let's eat!"

 

Let them figure out if you're saying the lord is good or good lord let's hurry up. By time they do, it will be time for serving number two of artery-hardening-deep fried thrice in Crisco-or-lard southern style pohk product.

 

Being from the south, I have felt out of place whenever my family gets together and eat because I do not like the lack of taste in the deep fried in fat casseroles.

I had an aunt who I swear fried Jell-O,

[Vigile]

 

 

2. Some pompous, pious asshole takes so long saying grace that the fucking food gets cold!!! Anybody ever had that happen?

 

After Stalin would give a speech the Duma would clap. The first guy to stop clapping would be considered unpatriotic and uncommitted to the cause so sometimes the clapping would go on for an hour or more as everyone was afraid to be the first to stop.

 

Xians pinned down by a blow hard prayer aren't any different from Duma members as far as I can tell. The first guy to grunt or jesture that it's time to eat is the guy who is not wholly committed.

[OpheliaGinger]

 

 

2. Some pompous, pious asshole takes so long saying grace that the fucking food gets cold!!! Anybody ever had that happen?

 

After Stalin would give a speech the Duma would clap. The first guy to stop clapping would be considered unpatriotic and uncommitted to the cause so sometimes the clapping would go on for an hour or more as everyone was afraid to be the first to stop.

 

Xians pinned down by a blow hard prayer aren't any different from Duma members as far as I can tell. The first guy to grunt or jesture that it's time to eat is the guy who is not wholly committed.

 

Since I don't know my Russian history all the well, I wonder if anyone ever tried the, "Stalin must be hungry, we have to think about his health," defense for stop clapping.

[alexander]

Oh, I thought of another pet peeve. I live in the South so this happens a lot, but I've known people all over the country who do it. Before they eat, they bow their head and close their eyes and presumably say some sort of a meal blessing. It's quick, but long enough that people will notice if they're paying attention.

 

What they do in the privacy of their homes is not my business, but when this is going on in the work lunchroom in the middle of a lively unrelated conversation, it peeves the hell out of me. Subtle, but intrusive. I mean, can't they can't chew and pray at the same time?

 

BTW, LOVE the movie Junebug!

 

I'm in the south too, and to get around saying a "prayer" or "grace", I use the "8 Word Grace":

 

"Good food, good meat, good lord let's eat!"

 

Let them figure out if you're saying the lord is good or good lord let's hurry up. By time they do, it will be time for serving number two of artery-hardening-deep fried thrice in Crisco-or-lard southern style pohk product.

 

Being from the south, I have felt out of place whenever my family gets together and eat because I do not like the lack of taste in the deep fried in fat casseroles.

I had an aunt who I swear fried Jell-O,

Don't forget, Terry Bradshaw is hawking fried dill pickles at Zaxby's.

 

The south also brought you chicken fried steak, fried ice cream, and deep fried turkey. Frying is the default southern way of cooking.

[Johnnyboy76]

I have two main pet peeves. one is when fundies use the word "righteous" to describe themselves and other believers. this bugs me because this shows how christians set themselves above others and think they are somehow better. That attitude they have as if they know something other ppl dont which sets them apart. ridiculous elitist bullshit.

My second pet peeve is the fear they have of anyone who is not a fellow christian. As if someone of another faith or none at all is some kind of dangerous threat. In some christian chat forums, i have had fundies start sputtering frantically that im a demon servant of satan straight from the pits of hell, simply because i disagreed with them. The fear they have is annoying but its also very sad.

[Vomit Comet]

The south also brought you chicken fried steak, fried ice cream, and deep fried turkey. Frying is the default southern way of cooking.

 

I went to Vienna once. I went into a restaurant and ordered "wienerschnitzel." I thought it would be like a hot dog, because there was a hot dog fast food chain on the West Coast (don't know if it was back east) called Wienerschniztel.

 

It was more or less chicken fried steak.

[Vigile]

 

 

2. Some pompous, pious asshole takes so long saying grace that the fucking food gets cold!!! Anybody ever had that happen?

 

After Stalin would give a speech the Duma would clap. The first guy to stop clapping would be considered unpatriotic and uncommitted to the cause so sometimes the clapping would go on for an hour or more as everyone was afraid to be the first to stop.

 

Xians pinned down by a blow hard prayer aren't any different from Duma members as far as I can tell. The first guy to grunt or jesture that it's time to eat is the guy who is not wholly committed.

 

Since I don't know my Russian history all the well, I wonder if anyone ever tried the, "Stalin must be hungry, we have to think about his health," defense for stop clapping.

 

Good one. Unfortunately your intelligence in the matter would have singled you out and you would have been a sure candidate for the gulag. Can't have anyone smarter than Stalin in the wings you know?

[lulukan]

While still in fundy churches as a teen, the things that annoyed me the most?

 

1) Men who would try to yell "Amen" as loudly as they could. The reason this annoyed me is because I used to think to myself, I guess that fuck head did not get enough attention as a child, so they have to get it now by screaming out in church. I also thought, You are just trying to look better than everyone else, to look more like a good christian by agreeing with the pastor.

 

I tried to position myself in church so I would not be sitting in front of one of these freaks.

 

2) Long altar calls. I was hungry and wanted to go home and eat. I wanted to punch the pastor in the face and tell him to shut the fuck up so we could eat. How many verses of "Just as I am" do we have to sing before god is pleased that all the souls have been won?

[Objet_trouve24]

T-shirts. Especially these:

http://shopwitnesswear.com/avidcart1/index.php?_a=viewProd&productId=27

http://shopwitnesswear.com/avidcart1/index.php?_a=viewProd&productId=26

http://shopwitnesswear.com/avidcart1/index.php?_a=viewProd&productId=25

http://shopwitnesswear.com/avidcart1/index.php?_a=viewProd&productId=12

http://shopwitnesswear.com/avidcart1/index.php?_a=viewProd&productId=14

http://shopwitnesswear.com/avidcart1/index.php?_a=viewProd&productId=15

 

I could go on, but I like to limit myself to one online christian store a day, or less.

 

I find it especially enraging when parents make their kids where clothing with writing that expresses a political view I was incapable of forming until my early 20's. It's just wrong to put your baby in an anti-abortion onesie. My kids aren't getting shirts with writing until they're old enough to tell me they want it. No way is my kid growing up like the Phelps kids, waving signs with no idea what they mean. Yeah, that's right. I compared you to

.

 

Bumper stickers. This goes for homeschoolers too. I don't really have a reason like with the t-shirt, they just annoy me. Especially "homeschool kids are in a class of their own" and "my daddy is in love with my teacher" (sorry mom. I just can't say I care for them).

 

And I really hate when christians try to claim christianity is not a religion, just because of the bad reputation the word has. Religion, relationship, I still think it's psychologically unhealthy, and a brainwashing cult that promotes all kinds of racism, sexism and homophobia. Fine, call it a relationship, but I'm still going to associate it with the lazy, jealous, abusive, jerk boyfriend you can't get rid of and doesn't even make with the sex. Don't date him girl! You know you deserve better. Kick him to the curb!

 

Yikes. I was more angry about this stuff than I thought.

[wannabewise]

One thing which made me so mad recently was that, a few days after the massive earthquake in Haiti, a fundie I know was doing a major "God is so good" thing over saving money on car repairs!!!! WTF???

[wt-hell?!]

One thing which made me so mad recently was that, a few days after the massive earthquake in Haiti, a fundie I know was doing a major "God is so good" thing over saving money on car repairs!!!! WTF???

 

This really gets on my nerves too. I hate hearing stuff like that, even more so in the face of a huge, real crisis.

[dB-Paradox]

My wife's aunt was blessed by the power of the lord when he took her excessive flem problem away! Meanwhile, another child is dying every 5 seconds due to starvation. PRAISE GOD FOR HEALING FLEM PROBLEMS!!!!

 

While still in fundy churches as a teen, the things that annoyed me the most?

 

Men who would try to yell "Amen" as loudly as they could. The reason this annoyed me is because I used to think to myself, I guess that fuck head did not get enough attention as a child, so they have to get it now by screaming out in church. I also thought, You are just trying to look better than everyone else, to look more like a good christian by agreeing with the pastor.

Similarly, preachers who feel they have to yell a sermon! One of my old youth pastors was a soft spoken man, and preached sermons that way until he moved away for a few years and came back as a guest speaker. Then he spoke with POWER!!! It just seemed so fake.

[lulukan]

My wife's aunt was blessed by the power of the lord when he took her excessive flem problem away! Meanwhile, another child is dying every 5 seconds due to starvation. PRAISE GOD FOR HEALING FLEM PROBLEMS!!!!

 

While still in fundy churches as a teen, the things that annoyed me the most?

 

Men who would try to yell "Amen" as loudly as they could. The reason this annoyed me is because I used to think to myself, I guess that fuck head did not get enough attention as a child, so they have to get it now by screaming out in church. I also thought, You are just trying to look better than everyone else, to look more like a good christian by agreeing with the pastor.

Similarly, preachers who feel they have to yell a sermon! One of my old youth pastors was a soft spoken man, and preached sermons that way until he moved away for a few years and came back as a guest speaker. Then he spoke with POWER!!! It just seemed so fake.

 

 

Exactly! My mom's pastor is so loud my son, when he was 2, would plug his ears.

[lulukan]

I just had to add another one after talking to my sister today. I HATE when extremely religious grandparents try to sneak in their religious talks (brainwashing) when spending time with the grandkids.

 

My mom has done this to my kids. She has told them that any music with drums is "devil music," she has told them that there are a few chosen people who go to heaven, and god already knows who they are ahead of time (of course, she is one of them) but the thing that annoyed me the other day is that she went to a catholic funeral and told my daughter (18 yr old) how sad it was that that when she looked around at all those cathoics, she realized they were all going to hell. grrrr She also told my niece that her daddy (my brother) was sinful because he drank beer.

 

My sister's mom-in-law wins the award for crazy grandma though. Get this!! She had her 8 year old granddaughter over to spend the night and they made cut-out angels. Her granddaughter made a female angel with wings. Grandma told her that female angels in the bible do not have wings and since they needed to be biblical, she helped her cut the wings off of the female angels. I am not making that up. This same grandma also told her grandkids that they were not allowed to say "Amen" at the end of their prayer- they had to say "in jesus name, amen" for it to be a proper prayer. WTF?

[Shyone]

My wife's aunt was blessed by the power of the lord when he took her excessive flem problem away! Meanwhile, another child is dying every 5 seconds due to starvation. PRAISE GOD FOR HEALING FLEM PROBLEMS!!!!

 

While still in fundy churches as a teen, the things that annoyed me the most?

 

Men who would try to yell "Amen" as loudly as they could. The reason this annoyed me is because I used to think to myself, I guess that fuck head did not get enough attention as a child, so they have to get it now by screaming out in church. I also thought, You are just trying to look better than everyone else, to look more like a good christian by agreeing with the pastor.

Similarly, preachers who feel they have to yell a sermon! One of my old youth pastors was a soft spoken man, and preached sermons that way until he moved away for a few years and came back as a guest speaker. Then he spoke with POWER!!! It just seemed so fake.

 

 

Exactly! My mom's pastor is so loud my son, when he was 2, would plug his ears.

I would love to see a video of that...

[OpheliaGinger]

My sister's mom-in-law wins the award for crazy grandma though. Get this!! She had her 8 year old granddaughter over to spend the night and they made cut-out angels. Her granddaughter made a female angel with wings. Grandma told her that female angels in the bible do not have wings and since they needed to be biblical, she helped her cut the wings off of the female angels. I am not making that up. This same grandma also told her grandkids that they were not allowed to say "Amen" at the end of their prayer- they had to say "in jesus name, amen" for it to be a proper prayer. WTF?

 

Angels don't have a sex, and--I may be a tad bit off base here--angels did not appear with wings. The Seraphim had wings all over the place, but the typical angel never showed up with wings; they were added in by artists so that the observer would know who was who.

 

Angels were sort of like the gods of old were they would show up and test humans on their generosity. If angels/gods looked like what we envision them to look like, their tests would be null and void because we would definitely act better around them.