Was It All That Bad?

[Kathlene]

Hello again

 

So I have read lots of stories and experiences on this site about your lives when you used to be christians.

I would like to ask some questions though, if anyone would be willing to answer.

 

Was it all that bad?

Did you ever have moments of closeness with God and his presence?

Did you ever have such close communion with Him that you cried in His presence with joy, or through healing of any pain in your heart?

Did God ever tell you something that would happen in your life and did it ever come to pass?

Did you ever hear Gods voice in your inner man? Did words from the Bible become real and alive for you, and for you specifically?

Did you ever have strange promptings to do something or say something, then find out it was confirmation for another person, or telling them something they needed to hear just that day?

 

Have you ever had such pain over a situation and think that it was completely hopeless, and God speak to you in it and find hope, and slowly see restoration? Have you ever seen someone's life completely turn the opposite direction after meeting God?

 

 

Sorry thats a lot of questions. Im just curious to know if when you were a christian, was it all that bad? Was there any time in your lives where you did feel God close to you? How did you go from that to declaring that no Gods exist?

Do you ever miss God and his presence?

[dagnarus]

Yes, is was that bad. It was quite horrible watching Christianity suck the life out of those who were around me, and realizing that was the way I was going.

 

I remember praying to God to show himself to me, many times actually. Each time I felt something telling me to let go of Christianity, I'd already been shown enough to see it's falsehood. This I would consider to be my most spiritual experience in my life.

 

I remember reading Romans 9 and realizing that that was all I was to God, just a pot, just like an inanimate object I had no more value than what pleasure I could give to God, this was why God could so callously choose to arbitrarily make one human to be damned to an eternity of torment, and another to an eternity of worship, just try to replace Paul analogy of a potmaker and his pots with that of a loving father and his children. At the same time when I saw the truth of God's love for us shown in Romans 9, The nature of God's shown throughout the entirety of the biblical text began to make a lot more sense.

[Ouroboros]

Was it all that bad?

Not at all. I loved it. But I didn't lose my faith because of church or people, but because that reality and theology didn't fit together.

 

Did you ever have moments of closeness with God and his presence?

I thought I did.

 

But after my de-conversion, I've had similar experiences. Only a few weeks after I realized that I really didn't believe anymore, I had a wonderful experience where I felt I was part of the Universe and everything was connected. I felt one with reality and nature.

 

Did you ever have such close communion with Him that you cried in His presence with joy, or through healing of any pain in your heart?

Yes. Also laughter, singing and shouting in tongues, casting out demons, and much much more.

 

At the time I thought it was God, but I have realized later that it's a psychological phenomenon.

 

Did God ever tell you something that would happen in your life and did it ever come to pass?

Nope. God never spoke to me.

 

Did you ever hear Gods voice in your inner man? Did words from the Bible become real and alive for you, and for you specifically?

Nope. Not one single time. But I wanted to experience it. I asked for it. Prayed for it. Believed, wished, and hoped for it.

 

Did you ever have strange promptings to do something or say something, then find out it was confirmation for another person, or telling them something they needed to hear just that day?

Nope.

 

I was evangelizing every week for a year. Walking from door to door, and tried to get one saved. Just one saved. I really wanted it. I prayed for it. Never happened.

 

Have you ever had such pain over a situation and think that it was completely hopeless, and God speak to you in it and find hope, and slowly see restoration? Have you ever seen someone's life completely turn the opposite direction after meeting God?

I had several situations where everything was completely hopeless, and God didn't speak to me. That was part of my understanding that my idea of God was completely wrong. I needed God. God was not there. But I was there. I pulled myself trough. My wife was there, and I was there for her. She was God. And I was God.

 

And I've seen people turn the opposite direction after "meeting God." I have also seen people turn extremely deceitful and use other people after claiming to be Christians. I have also seen people turn around by losing faith and leaving God and religion all together. So it works all different ways. It's about the step of personal responsibility. If you believe it, it works. But you have to believe it. If you don't believe it (whatever belief it is), it won't work.

 

Sorry thats a lot of questions. Im just curious to know if when you were a christian, was it all that bad? Was there any time in your lives where you did feel God close to you? How did you go from that to declaring that no Gods exist?

I came to the conclusion that God does not exists because he never answers my calls.

 

If talking to a rock for 30 years gives the same result each time (i.e. nothing), then why continue the stupidity?

 

 

 

Do you ever miss God and his presence?

Nope.

 

I miss Church and the people (some at least) because I had good experience of the community and the activities, but I can't say I miss God, since I never really met him or heard from him.

[florduh]

Daily life as a Christian wasn't "all that bad" as long as I didn't look too deep or ask any hard questions in my desire to understand the Word and increase my faith. I left because the Bible is simply not true, and neither are the religions spawned by it.

[oddbird1963]

The question that really matters isn't, "Was it really that bad?"

 

For the sincere, the question is, "Was it really true?"

 

I finally concluded, "No." Any warm fuzzy feelings, emotional moments, appearances of divine Providence have plenty of other explanations.

 

If it doesn't ring true, then the rest doesn't matter.

 

It's like slipping a girl drugs to get her to have sex with you. It may feel good at the time, but since it isn't real, it's meaningless.

[ghostchild]

Hello again

 

So I have read lots of stories and experiences on this site about your lives when you used to be christians.

I would like to ask some questions though, if anyone would be willing to answer.

 

Was it all that bad?

 

Yeah, it was. Christianity broke me. The guilt, the pain, the purposeless suffering that were promoted in my church caused me to sell myself out in the worst way I can think of. I became one of the worst people i knew, just trying to get the love and care I deserved from the people around me, just trying to be a valid person, without the map to those things you're meant to get. Christianity, and especially the Russian Orthodox Church in Exile, turned me into a borderline mess of a person. Turned my parents into absent, angry watchers capable of only criticism and lies, turned my family into a judgemental, dysfunctional hell. I wanted to die so badly... but that woulda meant hell for ever. Even asking the question betrays a blindness, an unwillingness to understand. Read the fucking testimonies forum. It's full of this kind of thing. Come back after and if y ou still can ask that question, you're not worth talking to. yeah, it was that bad.

 

Did you ever have moments of closeness with God and his presence?

 

No.

 

I thought I had experienced some special, godgiven moments. I thought i'd caught a glimpse of heaven on pascha after no sleep in 48 hours and no food in the same time... after fasting and praying for 47 days, I thought i tasted it. But you know what? one single moment experiencing the true beauty of the natural world is bigger, deeper, more meaningful, and more fulfilling than anything i've ever experienced through any church.

 

Did you ever have such close communion with Him that you cried in His presence with joy, or through healing of any pain in your heart?

 

The pain grew and grew. I could never, never be worthy of the love that they told me was God's gift. They told me that nobody could... they told me that an angel would be instantly annihilated by the foulness of man's purest thought, and god loved us anyway.... but I couldn't stop sinning. Couldn't even confess for the shame of it. I believed I was the most pathetic, hellbound foul thing on earth and unless I could somehow stop and be clean, which i tried and failed over and over to do... i was gonna burn forever, because god wouldn't want me.

 

And don't try to tell me god loves me and forgives me and doesn't care. Your church, whatever it is, lies just as much as mine did. I could fuck your little theology to hell and back with what i've read, but i won't. It's all a lie.

 

 

Did God ever tell you something that would happen in your life and did it ever come to pass?

 

God never told me a fucking thing.

it's probably schizophrenia if you're hearing invisible people talk to you.

 

 

Did you ever hear Gods voice in your inner man? Did words from the Bible become real and alive for you, and for you specifically?

 

Yes. I BELEVED with my whole self for a long, long time. The bible was written to me, and everybody... i thought. it seemed real, alive... but it's not. it's just a book, written by some folk, a long, long time ago.

 

Did you ever have strange promptings to do something or say something, then find out it was confirmation for another person, or telling them something they needed to hear just that day?

 

No. I only ever said the wrong thing. or the right thing for the wrong cause.

 

 

Have you ever had such pain over a situation and think that it was completely hopeless, and God speak to you in it and find hope, and slowly see restoration?

I prayed and prayed for this... with faith and tears, in the middle of the night or awake and in the street.

 

 

Have you ever seen someone's life completely turn the opposite direction after meeting God?

 

 

mine did. I became a fucked up mess. My sister's did. she became suicidal. My little brother's did. He pretended to be schizophrenic so he had an excuse to not go to church. it didn't work. My older brother's did. He went from being a social, adjusted kid to being a loner misfit with no friends and no hobbies but pc games.

 

The list goes on.

 

 

Sorry thats a lot of questions. Im just curious to know if when you were a christian, was it all that bad? Was there any time in your lives where you did feel God close to you? How did you go from that to declaring that no Gods exist?

Do you ever miss God and his presence?

 

 

I can't miss a place that never really existed. My life has joy, peace, love, hope.... I have a partner who loves me, a home that feels safe... I'm alive and breathing, and there's a world outside that is beautiful and free. I'm free in it. The day I realised god had never existed was the day I finally started to be alive. I don't *need* a god now, or any shonky belief system. I've got what I always wanted!

 

and after death? i won't give a shit. I'll just be dead. no heaven, no hell, just quiet, dark nothing. After what i've been through in my life, i like that idea. eventually i'll be ready for it, tired of this life and the joy i've found here... but until then I'll be very alive, very at peace, and totally, utterly fulfilled in my own existence, irregardless of what random things happen... because i'm free!

[The-Captain]

Well this is a simple one for me. I hope you'll excuse the lack of verbosity.

 

No to all of them.

[Thurisaz]

Was it all that bad?

 

No, because... (see below)

 

Did you ever have moments of closeness with God and his presence?

Did you ever have such close communion with Him that you cried in His presence with joy, or through healing of any pain in your heart?

Did God ever tell you something that would happen in your life and did it ever come to pass?

Did you ever hear Gods voice in your inner man? Did words from the Bible become real and alive for you, and for you specifically?

Did you ever have strange promptings to do something or say something, then find out it was confirmation for another person, or telling them something they needed to hear just that day?

 

Have you ever had such pain over a situation and think that it was completely hopeless, and God speak to you in it and find hope, and slowly see restoration? Have you ever seen someone's life completely turn the opposite direction after meeting God?

 

No to all.

 

There was no emphasis at all on any supernatural component of the faith in my mainstream German church. I've said it before and I'll say it again here and now, my old church's teaching can be summed up as "Jesus was a good man, let's all try to be at least a little bit like him". Of course we were taught about the "God and miracles and such stuff" part but no one ever demanded that we believe all that or else.

[Franko47]

Part of the problem, Kathlene, was the fact that "religion" was trying to get me to think a certain way, but my own inner convictions, or "heart" was telling me something else.

 

My "heart" kind of won this little contest. When I had problems, they were either not resolved or resolved through processes that were just likely. I was never in a situation where I was sobbing at my wit's end at the end of my bed or anything and felt "embraced" by divine love. More like in those situations I would go to see "mummy" or my uncle and get some "real" human support as opposed to "wishing".

 

I understand these feelings, though. It can be very lonely when one is suffering, and I know that believing in a God that cares about my inner anguish is very attractive.

 

I enjoyed the social aspects when I was a Christian; I even still have Christian friends. But I'm "whole" now. If God exists, then I'll vote for him as Universal President, but I don't need him to be involved in my "personal life".

[skepticalme]

In a sense, yes, it was pretty bad. I was raised Southern Baptist. Both my father and grand-father are deacons at the church I used to attend. I was feed Christian dogma as long as I can remember. There was a time when I believed it all and I even had experiences that, at the time, I believed where similar to the ones the OP described. Heck, I was even baptized when I was 13 or 14. But now I see that it was all a delusion. I have always been a curious person and the more I dug into the bible for answers the more hollow the words felt. The answer to everything just seemed to be, "God made it that way." Any attempt to dig deeper was met with, "The lord works in mysterious ways" or "We can never understand Gods plan" or "Don't question/test god." Those seemed to me to be deliberate dodges of the questions I asked. It appeared to me more and more that anything that called gods' existance into question, these people would just stuck there fingers into thier ears and hummed. I started to ask, "Well, how do you know that what you believe is true, you have set up a belief system that can never be questioned, tested or falsified. I'm not really sure when it dawned on me that these people were just blindly following what they were told to believe. None of them sought there own answers. They wanted answers to be handed to them and they were encouraged by the 'happy ending' that it promised.

 

I had always been fascinated with science which sometimes put me at odds with Christian doctrine. I started to see that many scientist weren't afraid to ask hard question, they sought there own answers and they constantly reevaluated old ideas. Whats more, is that they could offer proof of the ideas that they held. Now, I don't want anyone to get the impression that science is a religion to me. It most certainly is not. Science can only answer the "How" and "What" questions. Religion attempts to offer an answers to the "Why" questions. I have come to realise that they is not only no answer to "Why", but there is no question to be answered. "Why" implies intention. Why does the sun rise and set? Well the sun doesn't have a choice in the matter. It just sits there and only appears to rise and set. Why does life exist? Again, life didn't have a choice in the matter. There is no "Why". Only the intentions that we try to impose when we don't understand "How". God lives exclusively in what we don't know. The more we learn, the farther back he gets pushed. The fewwer gaps he has to hide in. It was once believed that a god was required to make the sun rise and set. Now we know he's not. It was onced believed that god lived in the sky. Well, we have explored the sky and even part of space and he was nowhere to be found. So now heaven is in some other dimension outside of our universe. This is one of the reasons that there is so much controversy over evolution. For many people that is one of the places that god was hiding and when we looked under that rock, god was nowhere to be found. The same cycle is going to continue as long as there are mysteries. As long as there is a place for god to hide there will be people that believe.

 

On another topic, I still except the moral values that the bible teaches though I disagree with the motives and explainations behind them. But thats a whole other topic and I don't want to hijack this thread any more than I have.

[Kathlene]

In a sense, yes, it was pretty bad. I was raised Southern Baptist. Both my father and grand-father are deacons at the church I used to attend. I was feed Christian dogma as long as I can remember. There was a time when I believed it all and I even had experiences that, at the time, I believed where similar to the ones the OP described. Heck, I was even baptized when I was 13 or 14. But now I see that it was all a delusion. I have always been a curious person and the more I dug into the bible for answers the more hollow the words felt. The answer to everything just seemed to be, "God made it that way." Any attempt to dig deeper was met with, "The lord works in mysterious ways" or "We can never understand Gods plan" or "Don't question/test god." Those seemed to me to be deliberate dodges of the questions I asked. It appeared to me more and more that anything that called gods' existance into question, these people would just stuck there fingers into thier ears and hummed. I started to ask, "Well, how do you know that what you believe is true, you have set up a belief system that can never be questioned, tested or falsified. I'm not really sure when it dawned on me that these people were just blindly following what they were told to believe. None of them sought there own answers. They wanted answers to be handed to them and they were encouraged by the 'happy ending' that it promised.

 

I had always been fascinated with science which sometimes put me at odds with Christian doctrine. I started to see that many scientist weren't afraid to ask hard question, they sought there own answers and they constantly reevaluated old ideas. Whats more, is that they could offer proof of the ideas that they held. Now, I don't want anyone to get the impression that science is a religion to me. It most certainly is not. Science can only answer the "How" and "What" questions. Religion attempts to offer an answers to the "Why" questions. I have come to realise that they is not only no answer to "Why", but there is no question to be answered. "Why" implies intention. Why does the sun rise and set? Well the sun doesn't have a choice in the matter. It just sits there and only appears to rise and set. Why does life exist? Again, life didn't have a choice in the matter. There is no "Why". Only the intentions that we try to impose when we don't understand "How". God lives exclusively in what we don't know. The more we learn, the farther back he gets pushed. The fewwer gaps he has to hide in. It was once believed that a god was required to make the sun rise and set. Now we know he's not. It was onced believed that god lived in the sky. Well, we have explored the sky and even part of space and he was nowhere to be found. So now heaven is in some other dimension outside of our universe. This is one of the reasons that there is so much controversy over evolution. For many people that is one of the places that god was hiding and when we looked under that rock, god was nowhere to be found. The same cycle is going to continue as long as there are mysteries. As long as there is a place for god to hide there will be people that believe.

 

On another topic, I still except the moral values that the bible teaches though I disagree with the motives and explainations behind them. But thats a whole other topic and I don't want to hijack this thread any more than I have.

That was a beautiful reply. Thankyou.

 

All of the replies so far are really great too. They are making me understand you guys more, and to hear what went on in your lives. To hear with an open mind makes understanding easier.

[Tabula Rasa]

Forgive me for being a broken record.

 

Kath;

There were some bright spots when I actively attended church in my childhood and teens.(Youth retreats were fun.)But there was always the pitch black shadow of eternal damnation that tainted everything. Fear that you weren't properly "saved". Anxiety because according to what we were taught, most of the world was lost, and headed straight to hell because they didn't know Jesus. This constantly haunted me, knowing that people were dying every moment,and the ones that were lost were plummeting into hell, doomed forever. It even bothered me to see people die in movies and tv shows for the same reason.

 

I have no problem with the idea of a God. What I can't stomach, is the idea that it's a omnipotent psychopathic sadist that essentially made us so he could give us the no real choice of worship him or suffer eternal torment. It is what led me to deconvert, for I could not believe that the universe was created by a sadistic monster.

 

Kath, I love you, but if you must believe in a god, you can do much better than Yahweh, or any other form of the Abrahamic God.

[Midnight-mindwanderings]

 

Was it all that bad?

I can honestly say that I do not have any pleasant memories of church itself. My belief in god is slightly more complicated as it evolved out of the bible-god and into something bigger.

 

Did you ever have moments of closeness with God and his presence?

Perhaps I had this feeling. Its hard to be sure I know what you mean. If so its the same feeling I get when I meditate or chant to the Goddess so I am not sure that it counts.

 

Did you ever have such close communion with Him that you cried in His presence with joy, or through healing of any pain in your heart?

I remember when my parents were fighting, I think this was just after my dad moved out, I left my house in the middle of the night and went to a nearby park and just cried and cried. I laid down under a tree in the grass and became intensely aware of every blade of grass, the movement of the wind, the smell of the air, all the background suburb sounds, the shadows from the streetlights. It felt to me that I was being embraced by the earth and the sky and I felt calmed. This was a powerful experience for me that actually served to encourage me to find god elsewhere. All my prayers to Jesus seemed empty and hollow in comparison to this feeling.

 

Did God ever tell you something that would happen in your life and did it ever come to pass?

A few times I have had a feeling of 'knowing' something would happen and it would happen. The biggest one being I knew I would get asked out to homecoming my junior year and that going with them would change everything. Night before homecoming my future husband asked me to the dance. God? I never thought so. Didn't think it was a big deal just a fluke thing but I am glad I trusted my instincts. I am also sure there were many times when I thought I knew something would happen that never did but its a condition of the human brain to not remember these things.

 

Did you ever hear Gods voice in your inner man? Did words from the Bible become real and alive for you, and for you specifically?

No to this one. I mean the bible was real to me when I believed in it but this generally had a bad effect on me.

 

Did you ever have strange promptings to do something or say something, then find out it was confirmation for another person, or telling them something they needed to hear just that day?

I have but I am very sensitive to people's emotions due to intuitive reasoning and understanding subtle clues in their behavior. Never figured it to be a god-given power its just well honed empathy.

 

Have you ever had such pain over a situation and think that it was completely hopeless, and God speak to you in it and find hope, and slowly see restoration?

When working through the pain of my past all the speaking I did to whatever divine powers may be led me farther and farther out of Christianity. The more reliant on myself and my loved ones I became, the more I faced the truth of my life and the world the more restored I became. "Whatever you seek if you do not find it within yourself, you will never find it without." This rang very true for me.

 

Have you ever seen someone's life completely turn the opposite direction after meeting God?

I have never seen someone meet God. I can't even really think of anyone I've met who has made any turn around in their lives that was also religious. For instance my father-in-law is an 11 year recovering alcoholic. He is an atheist and I do not believe he was ever religious.

 

Sorry thats a lot of questions. Im just curious to know if when you were a christian, was it all that bad? Was there any time in your lives where you did feel God close to you? How did you go from that to declaring that no Gods exist?

Do you ever miss God and his presence?

 

I did not find God in the bible or Christianity. My moments of "feeling God" came from being alone, usually outside at night and feeling connected to the universe. When I meditate, I always imagine and feel a connection deep into the earth that passes through my body and then out into the universe. I look at things with the big big picture in perspective to my small individual life. Being a part of this great, infinitely awesome universe is a greater feeling of God than I ever had before. "Exist" is a strange word for me. Lots of things exist solely in my mind and I can enjoy them for what they are. For me, God is an idea, the idea that in some form we existed from the very beginning, that stars and galaxies lived and died and now live on inside of us. Its why I am a pantheist. Of course the universe and the earth do not speak to me, they are not persons. But I do not miss the God of my childhood. That God feeling you mentioned in the beginning - I feel that feeling more now than ever.

[Vixentrox]

Was it all that bad? Sometimes, sometimes not. Often it was a life lived in terror.

 

Did you ever have moments of closeness with God and his presence? Not usually, though sometimes when I masturbated thinking myself a bride of Christ I felt some sort of peace. Probably didn't have anything to do with a god though.....

 

Did you ever have such close communion with Him that you cried in His presence with joy, or through healing of any pain in your heart? No, mostly I was always in afraid. Afraid for my soul, in terror for my friends and family that they may not be saved and end up being tortured forever.

 

Did God ever tell you something that would happen in your life and did it ever come to pass? Nothing that can't be explained as a coincidence or deja vu feeling that I still get.

 

Did you ever hear Gods voice in your inner man? Not really. I didn't hear voices in my head.

 

Did words from the Bible become real and alive for you, and for you specifically? The vengeful god and hell became more and more real for me. hence the terror.

 

Did you ever have strange promptings to do something or say something, then find out it was confirmation for another person, or telling them something they needed to hear just that day? Sure, happens to this day. Has nothing to do with a god. You can often pick up subtle vibes from people and know just the response they need.

 

Have you ever had such pain over a situation and think that it was completely hopeless, and God speak to you in it and find hope, and slowly see restoration? No, just the opposite a number of times, culminating when he failed to restore my flagging faith though I desperately begged for strength.

 

Have you ever seen someone's life completely turn the opposite direction after meeting God? Yes, they became bigoted, judgmental assholes.

[Shyone]

Hello again

 

So I have read lots of stories and experiences on this site about your lives when you used to be christians.

I would like to ask some questions though, if anyone would be willing to answer.

 

Interesting idea. Self-assessment ex-c test...

 

 

Was it all that bad?

 

Not for me really. Sedate church, music, wine, crackers, rituals... Well, then, later when I was on the vestry I got stuck with babysitting. That sucked.

 

Did you ever have moments of closeness with God and his presence?

 

Maybe I was able to fool myself for a while. Except that after I realized there was no God, it was like having fallen in love with a charcter in a book, and then realizing it was never a person.

 

Did you ever have such close communion with Him that you cried in His presence with joy, or through healing of any pain in your heart?

 

I have had pain, but my friends and family have helped me through. How lonely if all you have is a fantasy lover.

 

Did God ever tell you something that would happen in your life and did it ever come to pass?

 

My mother said I was on a mission from God to be a doctor. Maybe that counts, because I beleived her. Now I'm a "pecker checker" aka "plumber" aka "urologist". Somehow I didn't expect my life to be spent in a rather narrow specialty even if I do help people in need.

 

Did you ever hear Gods voice in your inner man? Did words from the Bible become real and alive for you, and for you specifically?

 

Reading the bible made me realize that the writers were narrowly focused on their own tiny ethnic group with no consideration for any other human beings (whom they slaughtered willy-nilly). It was "alive" in the sense that chronicles from Nineveh were alive.

 

Did you ever have strange promptings to do something or say something, then find out it was confirmation for another person, or telling them something they needed to hear just that day?

 

I felt prompted to ask a cute girl for a date, and she turned me down. A friend of mine told me I was wasting my time, so it was "confirmation for another person" in that sense.

 

Have you ever had such pain over a situation and think that it was completely hopeless, and God speak to you in it and find hope, and slowly see restoration? Have you ever seen someone's life completely turn the opposite direction after meeting God?

 

When I was a boy, my dog disappeared. I prayed and prayed, but nothing happened until I went to take a shit. Sitting on the can, it occurred to me that I had left the dog in the car. I went outside to the car and let the dog out - and he was fine.

 

I have seen criminals claim to have found God. Usually before they were executed. I think instead of forgiving someone for having found Jesus, the attitude in the Texas Penal System is, "Good, they found God. Now they'll have someplace to go after we kill them."

 

Sorry thats a lot of questions. Im just curious to know if when you were a christian, was it all that bad? Was there any time in your lives where you did feel God close to you? How did you go from that to declaring that no Gods exist?

Do you ever miss God and his presence?

 

Remember the girl in Missouri that fell in love with a boy online and committed suicide when he rejected her? Except it wasn't a boy, but the mother of a rival girl, and the "boy" didn't ever exist?

 

If she had not committed suicide, would she have "missed her boyfriend and his presence"? I doubt it. How can you miss someone that doesn't exist? You might miss the feeling, but it was never meant for nonexistent beings. It was meant for humans.

[David]

I must be very blunt here in answering your question. Every moment I spent in the last church I attended which was just a few months ago was pure hell for me. I was harassed, I was belittled, judged, told that my relatives that have already passed on were burning in hell. I was called a liar, I was called a manipulator and I was also accused of being Psychotic and delusional. If I didn't change my ways I was to burn in hell for all eternity. All in the name of Jesus Christ. I am a very simple man with good values and morals and would never insult or hurt anyone intentionally. The picture that these so called Christians painted of me was horrible and very inaccurate. Was it that bad? You can't imagine how bad it was. It was the straw that broke the camels back for me. I have decided to become a free thinker and not depend on what I can now clearly see is a bunch of nonsense. It's too bad that I have wasted 47 years of my life believing in something that obviously does not exist. It is very clear to me that the bible was written simply to control and instill fear into the masses. The sad thing is that it worked and there are millions of these people walking around in various societies of the world. I kept telling these so called Christians that it's all about Love, Kindness and Compassion. It's not about accusing me or anyone else of horrible things just to gain control over them so that they will join church. These people prey on others that are struggling from low self esteem or lonely people or people that just don't fit into society in some way, shape or form. I'm not saying that I am any of the above but I think it's normal for humans to want to believe that there is some divine being that will hover over us and take care of us while we are alive here on earth. Thanks to the Christians that I have dealt within recent months, I now no longer believe in anything divine and the only person that is going to take care of me is ME. That being said, not all Christians are bad and they have a right to believe what they want but they don't have a right to go around preying on innocent people and controlling them with fear and lies. Thankfully I came to my senses and the realization that Jesus the great Teacher is dead and gone.

 

David.

[Kuroikaze]

 

Was it all that bad?

 

An odd question to ask given where we are. I will admit to having a bit of bias towards my memories of that time, but yes not all things were bad, but by and large the things I remember as good were the things which were not identifiably christian. Hagning out with my friends and such.

 

Did you ever have moments of closeness with God and his presence?

 

Did I believe I was close to god? or that I was communicating with him? Yes, I prayed and studied the bible every day for months, and I "felt" close. But then you already know what I am going to say about this. Feelings are not the same as reality.

 

Did you ever have such close communion with Him that you cried in His presence with joy, or through healing of any pain in your heart?

 

If you mean did I have extreme emotional reactions in the middle of situations that naturally cause extreme emotional reactions and concluded, based upon my beliefs that this was due to a god ....your point?

Did God ever tell you something that would happen in your life and did it ever come to pass?

 

I believed several times god was telling me to do certain things (change my major in college, ask a girl out on a date Ect..) They were all unmitigated disasters, changing majors almost made me flunk out of college.

 

Did you ever hear Gods voice in your inner man? Did words from the Bible become real and alive for you, and for you specifically?

 

I found some of the bible to be helpful, but I usually studied from a more intellectual angle.

One of the reasons I deconverted was I realized what a putrid load of crap the bible actually was. Support for slavery, sexual slavery, genocide and killing pretty much anyone who pissed off god, and the New Testament gets even worse with the introduction of hell. As far as literature goes the bible is right up there with Mein Kamph and the communist manifesto.

 

A few noble tidbits in a few places cannot make up for for the overarching narrative of horrid behavior by the god therein.

 

Did you ever have strange promptings to do something or say something, then find out it was confirmation for another person, or telling them something they needed to hear just that day?

 

Hmm....no never had this one. Did hear a lot of stories by people who said this happened. Doesn't really count.

 

Have you ever had such pain over a situation and think that it was completely hopeless, and God speak to you in it and find hope, and slowly see restoration? Have you ever seen someone's life completely turn the opposite direction after meeting God?

 

Well, my last experience as a christian was praying to god that he would preserve my faith, or give me some reason to keep believing. Considering where I am now you should know how that went.

 

I have seen lots of people claim god turned their life around, by and large they did it themselves or with the help of other people. No reason to believe god was involved.

 

Sorry thats a lot of questions. Im just curious to know if when you were a christian, was it all that bad? Was there any time in your lives where you did feel God close to you? How did you go from that to declaring that no Gods exist?

Do you ever miss God and his presence?

 

There was a time when I missed certain things about Christianity, but by and large they were the social club aspects. I no longer miss those at all. As far as feeling god, by the time I was a non-believer I had already realized that those feelings were not a representation of reality. So no, I don't miss deluding myself.

[agnosticator]

Was it all that bad?

 

I believed I was born-again and following Jesus, praying, and studying the Bible in humility, and obeying God's will. So I surrendered my life and gave up my chosen profession. Then I married the wrong person. After examining myself and my "gut" feelings (which I ignored as a christian), I awakened from my stupor and chalked it up as a major lesson learned. My christian experience taught me how NOT to live. Now I appreciate life for what it is, and people for who they are.

[OpheliaGinger]

God left me out in the cold like an unwanted dog. I stopped begging for food or affection once I nearly died of emotional starvation (allegorical), and went off on my own.

 

Now that I know there was no god to begin with, it was the lies that left me embittered.

[Kathlene]

Some of these replies and people's lives are so sad. It certainly gives a lot of food for thought. Why is it that some people become christians and yes, they have a life of pain and suffering, but in the midst of that still feel God near? Then why like so many on here just dont? I dont get it. It does, however give me a lot more understanding, and I thank you.

[Kuroikaze]

Some of these replies and people's lives are so sad. It certainly gives a lot of food for thought. Why is it that some people become christians and yes, they have a life of pain and suffering, but in the midst of that still feel God near? Then why like so many on here just dont? I dont get it. It does, however give me a lot more understanding, and I thank you.

 

Don't take offense, but I do not need your pity. My life is no more difficult now than it was as a christian, except that I deal with my problems in much more constructive ways than I did then.....on second thought I take it back my life is much better now BECAUSE I deal with my problems instead of expecting some supernatural being to fix them.

[FreeLily]

 

Was it all that bad?

Did you ever have moments of closeness with God and his presence?

Did you ever have such close communion with Him that you cried in His presence with joy, or through healing of any pain in your heart?

Did God ever tell you something that would happen in your life and did it ever come to pass?

Did you ever hear Gods voice in your inner man? Did words from the Bible become real and alive for you, and for you specifically?

Did you ever have strange promptings to do something or say something, then find out it was confirmation for another person, or telling them something they needed to hear just that day?

 

Have you ever had such pain over a situation and think that it was completely hopeless, and God speak to you in it and find hope, and slowly see restoration? Have you ever seen someone's life completely turn the opposite direction after meeting God?

 

That's sounds like rationalizing an ongoing relationship with an abusive partner. Sure, there are memorable highs and a sense of soulmate-level connection. But if the whole relationship was based on lies and power games, the occasional warm fuzzies are nowhere near worth it in the end.

[Shyone]

Some of these replies and people's lives are so sad. It certainly gives a lot of food for thought. Why is it that some people become christians and yes, they have a life of pain and suffering, but in the midst of that still feel God near? Then why like so many on here just dont? I dont get it. It does, however give me a lot more understanding, and I thank you.

I hope these questions in your mind provide you "food for thought."

 

Why doesn't everyone experience what you think is God? Maybe because....

[Kathlene]

Some of these replies and people's lives are so sad. It certainly gives a lot of food for thought. Why is it that some people become christians and yes, they have a life of pain and suffering, but in the midst of that still feel God near? Then why like so many on here just dont? I dont get it. It does, however give me a lot more understanding, and I thank you.

 

Don't take offense, but I do not need your pity. My life is no more difficult now than it was as a christian, except that I deal with my problems in much more constructive ways than I did then.....on second thought I take it back my life is much better now BECAUSE I deal with my problems instead of expecting some supernatural being to fix them.

Kuroikaze, when I meant that people's lives are so sad, I meant when they were christians. Not now. I felt sad that their christian experience was so horrible. I was trying to reconcile how it is that for some it is good, and for others it turns mean and cruel. Thats all. Sorry for the miscommunication there.

[Kuroikaze]

Kuroikaze, when I meant that people's lives are so sad, I meant when they were christians. Not now. I felt sad that their christian experience was so horrible. I was trying to reconcile how it is that for some it is good, and for others it turns mean and cruel. Thats all. Sorry for the miscommunication there.

 

Ok, that makes sense.

 

Though in my case I would not say that my experience was quite that bad. Granted I did see a lot of jerky or generally horrible people in church, most notably church leaders. I, and my parents as well, were involved in several ministries and churches and at that level you learn how despicable most church leaders actually are.

 

But..... I do not think this has anything to do with my leaving. It had a lot more to do with my inability to make my experience of reality mesh with what my religion was telling me HAD to be true. Eventually it came to a head and I had to choose between reality and my religion. I decided a nervous break down was not worth my beliefs.

 

I suppose you could call that a bad experience, but it was not an experience that the church or any of its adherence were responsible for, but one within my own mind.