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Goodbye Jesus

WHERE is Heaven?


MQTA

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WHERE is Heaven? According to the ancient texts, it's in or above the clouds. We now know what is above the clouds, so was it MOVED somewhere else?

 

Someone typed the other day that Heaven is OUTSIDE our Universe. Oh really? OUTSIDE? Gee, if the UNIverse is EVERYTHING, what could be outside it?

 

AND, if it's OUTSIDE the UNIverse, how do we get there? It's gotta be very very very far away since we can hardly even get to Mars and Venus, much less Pluto and Uranus.

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WHERE is Heaven?  According to the ancient texts, it's in or above the clouds.  We now know what is above the clouds, so was it MOVED somewhere else?

Well, the bible says god didn't want the people building their mighty tower (that left no evidence) up to it so he moved it. I think it was so planes wouldn't fly through it all the time (he knew the future after all) and all that smog buildup.

 

Someone typed the other day that Heaven is OUTSIDE our Universe.  Oh really?  OUTSIDE?  Gee, if the UNIverse is EVERYTHING, what could be outside it?

 

AND, if it's OUTSIDE the UNIverse, how do we get there?  It's gotta be very very very far away since we can hardly even get to Mars and Venus, much less Pluto and Uranus.

Ummm...hello? God. Remember? He crosses his arms and blinks or wiggles his nose and *poof* you're there. :lmao:

 

mwc

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Oh no, he didn't move Heaven at Babel, He confounded our languages so we'd never ever talk to the same language or see PEACE on Earth, Ever again.

 

I think the thing is, people don't really THINK about the words they hear, or what they're taught to believe. If it don't make sense, they just block it out. Make them think and they cry pursecution.

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It's a good thing that the early nasa scientists weren't fundies. They would have been reluctant to send up that first spaceship - for fear of puncturing the firmament and letting all the air out.

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NO!!! DON'T YOU GUYS KNOW ANYTHING!!!! HEAVEN IS OBVIUOSLY ONE OF THOSE NEBULAS!!! COME ON ITS OBVIOUS!!!!

but seriously, Most liberal christians would say that heaven is in your hearts and that sounds very Buddhist actually... But I wouldn't be surprised if a christian claimed it was a nebula. I've heard some say that hell is in the center of the earth and thats why we cant dig that far......

 

silly fundies, Science is for smart people with sense.

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Maybe heaven is really one of those black holes in outer space.

 

Well. It COULD be.

 

The way it sucks you in just like a black hole.

 

No wait.

 

Nothing can escape a black hole.

 

Scratch that theory.

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NO!!! DON'T YOU GUYS KNOW ANYTHING!!!! HEAVEN IS OBVIUOSLY ONE OF THOSE NEBULAS!!! COME ON ITS OBVIOUS!!!!

but seriously, Most liberal christians would say that heaven is in your hearts and that sounds very Buddhist actually... But I wouldn't be surprised if a christian claimed it was a nebula. I've heard some say that hell is in the center of the earth and thats why we cant dig that far......

 

silly fundies, Science is for smart people with sense.

 

 

oh oh oh right! The Perseids, isn't it?

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Maybe heaven is really one of those black holes in outer space.

 

Well.  It COULD be.

 

The way it sucks you in just like a black hole.

 

No wait.

 

Nothing can escape a black hole.

 

Scratch that theory.

So that must be where HELL is.

 

Why don't people see the ancient writings just don't cut it anymore?

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Oh no, he didn't move Heaven at Babel, He confounded our languages so we'd never ever talk to the same language or see PEACE on Earth, Ever again.

...................

Ah yes! Thanks for reminding me of the OTHER rant I had in mind this morning! (Although I may simply post it in this forum to spark some discussion. See you in a bit!)

:eek:

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Well, heaven sits atop the sky, which is stretched out over the four pillars of the earth (and contains the floodgates for rain). There, god, Jesus and his millions of angels (and the handful of people who have ascended bodily into heaven) whoop it up and tinker with stars (which they sometimes fumble and let fall to earth), only pausing to occasionally make jesus appear on the odd oil stain, waffle, or underpass condensation.

 

See, it's very simple! And if you believe anything different, you're a godless heretic!

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[Christian mode]Heaven is one of those alternate dimensions that scientists think exist, but have never been PROVEN to exist. In fact, the aliens probably know where it is, but don't want us to know. It's a vast conspiracy. Even the Ev1L athiests know, but don't want us to know they know. Because you know, you can't test god and all that stuff, or he'll send you a lightning bolt and you'll go STRAIGHT TO HELL! We don't want that, now do we? Nooooo....[/Christian mode]

 

:rolleyes:

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Genesis 11 (NIV)

The Tower of Babel

    1 Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. 2 As men moved eastward, [a] they found a plain in Shinar and settled there.

 

    3 They said to each other, "Come, let's make bricks and bake them thoroughly." They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. 4 Then they said, "Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth."

 

    5 But the LORD came down to see the city and the tower that the men were building. 6 The LORD said, "If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. 7 Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other."

 

    8 So the LORD scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. 9 That is why it was called Babel [c] —because there the LORD confused the language of the whole world. From there the LORD scattered them over the face of the whole earth.

As I read it god was afraid that they might actually succeed in making it to heaven(s) with their brick and tar tower so he (them) confused their languages. It looks to me like the heavens must have only been about 5 or 6 stories above people at the time since that's about as far as you'll get with that type of construction. Apparently god fears humans since if we can co-operate long enough we could, according to this, topple god. I wonder why translators and massive global communication of today don't bother him? Oh, right, he moved out of our neighborhood.

 

Why didn't god know they were doing all this before he came down? He always seems so surprised in the OT even though he supposedly knew everything before he even started.

 

mwc

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WHERE is Heaven?  According to the ancient texts, it's in or above the clouds.  We now know what is above the clouds, so was it MOVED somewhere else?

 

Someone typed the other day that Heaven is OUTSIDE our Universe.  Oh really?  OUTSIDE?  Gee, if the UNIverse is EVERYTHING, what could be outside it?

 

AND, if it's OUTSIDE the UNIverse, how do we get there?  It's gotta be very very very far away since we can hardly even get to Mars and Venus, much less Pluto and Uranus.

 

To reiterate my naive answer that I gave to others when I was a christian:

 

Someone: Where is heaven?

Me: Silly, Heaven is where God is!

 

;) man, was I a wanker then

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To reiterate my naive answer that I gave to others when I was a christian:

 

Someone: Where is heaven?

Me: Silly, Heaven is where God is!

 

;) man, was I a wanker then

That's the same answer I'd give as a non-beliver. :wicked:

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WHERE is Heaven?  According to the ancient texts, it's in or above the clouds.  We now know what is above the clouds, so was it MOVED somewhere else?

 

Someone typed the other day that Heaven is OUTSIDE our Universe.  Oh really?  OUTSIDE?  Gee, if the UNIverse is EVERYTHING, what could be outside it?

 

AND, if it's OUTSIDE the UNIverse, how do we get there?  It's gotta be very very very far away since we can hardly even get to Mars and Venus, much less Pluto and Uranus.

 

Heaven is nothing more than a fairy tale that only exists in the subjective ignorant minds of theists.

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It must be at the North Pole! That's it!

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It must be at the North Pole!  That's it!
Nah! Too cold there. :shrug:

 

Heaven is full of the warmth of the Love of Christ Jesus™. :mellow:

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Here is the narrative for the location of heaven.

 

2 Enoch 9: 4 - 7

 

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension which is as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears; and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call... Heaven."

 

 

That freakin Rod Serling. Taking credit for someone else's shit.

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Heaven is full of the warmth of the Love of Christ Jesus™.

 

I know, it's in Florida with Disney World! Oh, too bad there's a hurricane coming...maybe it'll blow over to my neck of the woods.

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Is anyone else thinking 'All dressed up, but nowhere to go?'

 

Merlin

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It must be at the North Pole!  That's it!

 

Nah! Too cold there. 

 

Heaven is full of the warmth of the Love of Christ Jesus™.

 

 

RUN!!! The global warming is coming!!!

 

 

Sorry I watch WAY to much South park.

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Sorry I watch WAY to much South park.
Even if this were possible, it's not something to apologize for. :HaHa:
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Even if this were possible, it's not something to apologize for.  :HaHa:

 

Let's remember:

1) No one bets on or really believes in Jesus...

2) The Devil has the best codpieces around! :HaHa:

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Heaven is nothing more than a fairy tale that only exists in the subjective ignorant minds of theists.

 

Awww...it's no fun if you jump right to the obvious answer. :wicked:

 

mwc

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