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Goodbye Jesus

No Offense Intended To Americans


blackpudd1n

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I am sick to death of spell check!!! I am an Australian!! We spell many, many words differently to our American counterparts, and I am sick and tired of spell check making me second-guess myself, think about whether I have spelled a word incorrectly or just not in the American way, confuse me with the different spellings...

 

I know this might not seem like that big of a deal to many of you, but I am damn well trying to write a book, and spell check is not helping!!! I find grammar and spelling hard enough as it is, I do not hold an English degree, and spell check is annoying the FUCK out of me. I can't even google shit without being informed that perhaps I meant to write (insert whatever word here)!

 

I have a cat who currently sounds like she has a trumpet up her arse. So, recent google searches have included the word "diarrhoea". And there it is! Spell check telling me that I've spelled diarrhoea wrong. BUT THAT IS HOW WE SPELL IT IN AUSTRALIA!!! How do I know? Because when I was in high school, I had a very eccentric English teacher who had a list of words that were commonly misspelled, and drove him nuts. Every Monday we were given a list of words to learn, and every Friday we were tested on those words. But every week, the last word on the list was the same. And what was that word? DIARRHOEA!!!!

 

Gah. Apologies for the rant. I think this book is starting to make me go crazy :P:

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I am sick to death of spell check!!! I am an Australian!!

 

Perhaps you meant Austrian ?

Search instead for Austrian

 

Just kidding. <ducks> Back when I had to do outlines the word program was stuck in a version where it wouldn't allow me to do it. It kept automatically changing the format and I couldn't find a way to turn it off. I feel for ya.

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We're just trying to help you. US English is God's language.

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Just write the book in English rather than Australian.

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Damn Austrians thinking they can come in here with their froggy "u's" and "oe's". Anyone who writes like that has had their asses thoroughly kicked by Uncle Sam.

 

America: FUCK YEAH!

 

;)

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I have a cat who currently sounds like she has a trumpet up her arse ass.

Also just kidding <also ducks> tongue.png

It seems just plain stupid that a spell check dictionary that uses Australian English is not as easily available as one that uses American English. I'm not sure what software you're using to write your book, but I hope you find an Australian English dictionary for it!

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We're just trying to help you. US English is God's language.

ukliam2.giflmao_99.giflmao_99.gif

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I have a cat who currently sounds like she has a trumpet up her arse ass.

Also just kidding <also ducks> tongue.png

It seems just plain stupid that a spell check dictionary that uses Australian English is not as easily available as one that uses American English. I'm not sure what software you're using to write your book, but I hope you find an Australian English dictionary for it!

 

 

In the case of "arse" as opposed to "ass", I think the difference in spelling has more to do with the difference in pronunciation between Australia and America than anything else. If I went around saying "ass" my mates would look at me like a weirdo.

 

What's worse, is that I don't even have a proper Australian accent to begin with, because I was born half deaf in both ears, so I have what we call a "deaf accent". Add to that I'm 5'11", thin, with European features (I'm a total throwback to my grandmother), and I'm constantly asked by my fellow Australians where I come from. Then you add into this mix that I was informally adopted 3 years ago by a couple, and my adoptive dad comes from South End in England. As a result of being deaf, I pick up other people's accents and inflections and now I speak with a deaf accent with bloody Dad's South End English thrown in. I can't even say "garage" properly anymore- oh, no, it's now "garige" thanks to Dad! And then spell check and google want me to spell everything the American way!!! I'm beginning to feel like my brain is short circuiting!

 

And what's worse about all this, is that I come from one of the oldest families in Australia. I'm a direct descendent of the third governor of NSW, Phillip Gidley King. Ethel Turner, who wrote Seven Little Australians, is in there, too. My country is only 220-odd years old, and my family has been here for over two hundred of those years, yet every week I'm asked where I come from! Ugh. lol

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We're just trying to help you. US English is God's language.

 

 

lol Troll :P

 

Just write the book in English rather than Australian.

 

lol Troll again :P

 

We're just trying to help you. US English is God's language.

 

Better not tell the people from the South of Sydney, Sutherland, that. Because everyone knows Sutherland is God's country :P lol

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Better not tell the people from the South of Sydney, Sutherland, that. Because everyone knows Sutherland is God's country tongue.png lol

 

<Ignorant American>

Hey we won World War Two so that gives us the right to fix English!

</Ignorant American>

 

GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif

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Is British English close enough? I have British and US options for my spell checker. Unfortunately, I can't use both dictionaries at the same time, which is stupid. I've read a lot of British books and have picked up on a few non-American spellings that I prefer to use. Mostly in words that end with "ise" or "ize", I prefer the s. It just makes for a prettier word. I didn't know I was doing this until one day in class we were doing a quick writing assignment on paper. I had one of those words, stopped and wondered which was the correct spelling, and settled on the version with "s". I got the paper back with five or six red marks around several different words that I'd spelled with "s", and a note that says "that's British; the American spelling uses z".

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Damn Austrians thinking they can come in here with their froggy "u's" and "oe's". Anyone who writes like that has had their asses thoroughly kicked by Uncle Sam.

 

America: FUCK YEAH!

 

wink.png

 

So you're declaring war on Germany now? tongue.png

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Is British English close enough? I have British and US options for my spell checker. Unfortunately, I can't use both dictionaries at the same time, which is stupid. I've read a lot of British books and have picked up on a few non-American spellings that I prefer to use. Mostly in words that end with "ise" or "ize", I prefer the s. It just makes for a prettier word. I didn't know I was doing this until one day in class we were doing a quick writing assignment on paper. I had one of those words, stopped and wondered which was the correct spelling, and settled on the version with "s". I got the paper back with five or six red marks around several different words that I'd spelled with "s", and a note that says "that's British; the American spelling uses z".

 

 

Yes, we do spell the same way as the British. Unfortunately, many Australians seem to be unable to distinguish between the two anymore. I can change my spell checker over, but that doesn't solve the problem. If I wrote with American spelling, when my book gets published I'm going to piss off a proof-reader no end. Especially as Michael is already keen to publish it, having seen some other stuff. I don't want to do that to my friend.

 

Actually, speaking of Michael, we've got an idea to get his book, "Nightmares of God" some serious publicity lol. Our plan is to send some copies of his book to some tele-evangelists, saying shit like "this author is of the devil, he's directly attacking you and your good, Godly, ministry, he must be stopped, you must publicly call him to account for such blasphemy" rofl. Our ultimate plan is to see "Nightmares of God" publicly burnt rofl. We were talking about it today- I'd like to send the Westboro Baptist Church a copy, if we can wing it LOL. We're going to have to work on some letters. If anyone can point us toward some prime American tele-evangelists, and give us some examples of the sort of phrases a fundamentalist christian would employ, we'd much appreciate it lol. Other ideas are also welcome. Oh, I really want to see a book burning lol!!!

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Despite being an "Australian" I've pretty much converted over to American spellings. Combine HTML and other programming languages using American spellings for words ("center" being the biggest bastard of them all for an Aussie) along with a spellchecker set for US English, I never had a chance. Besides, American English spells things in a way that makes more sense IMO.

 

In saying that though, it gives most everyone at my job an aneurysm but I'm too use to it now to change; been spelling like this for close to a decade now.

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Despite being an "Australian" I've pretty much converted over to American spellings. Combine HTML and other programming languages using American spellings for words ("center" being the biggest bastard of them all for an Aussie) along with a spellchecker set for US English, I never had a chance. Besides, American English spells things in a way that makes more sense IMO.

 

In saying that though, it gives most everyone at my job an aneurysm but I'm too use to it now to change; been spelling like this for close to a decade now.

 

 

Yeah, as an Aussie, I don't think you can really sit on the fence. You kind of have to decide which side you're going to be on. Granted, the American way of spelling is simpler, almost as though a word is spelled the way it sounds; that being said, I think if you play with the spelling to that degree, you lose the origin of the word and its history.

 

One thing that really pisses me off is how watered-down literacy has become. Thanks to things like text-speak and accepted abbreviations of common words, our ability to articulate ourselves effectively has become compromised. I noticed it before in the babble I wrote above, and when I switched over to doing some work on my book, I found it hard to express a funny incident without the use of "lol". So I'm going to have to stop using "lol" and "rofl", as sadly it is affecting my own ability to write.

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So you're declaring war on Germany now? tongue.png

 

not until after the annexation of Canada.

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You can tell in a field who invented it by the language spoken. You have Latin for medical, French for most Gourmet cooking, American English for computer programing, Air travel, and several other more modern areas. You have German for many forms of machining technology and psychology.

 

 

The origin of the word 'psychology' comes from the Greek, 'psyche', meaning soul or mind.

'Machine', derived from french, Latin, Greek and Doric.

'Computer', derived from Latin.

'Programme', origin Latin and Greek

'Medicine' is indeed Latin.

'Gourmet' definitely French.

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actually, in psychology:

 

'therapy'- origin Greek and Latin;

'counselling"- Middle English, Anglo-French, Old-French...

'disorder'- Old French, Middle Latin, Latin

'mental'- Latin

 

...Were you thinking of Sigmund Freud for the German reference in psychology?

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I was making reference to the modern forms of such fields.

 

...But what words of Germanic origin are in modern psychology? That's all I wanted to know, because I couldn't think of any :) and I have bipolar, so I see a psych nurse every week, I also have a psychologist, and a psychiatrist. Not only that, but I have a friend training to become a clinical psychologist. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I was just wondering how you came to that conclusion, because I couldn't think of any words myself :)

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I got "flossing" and "shawty" wrong, but I got the others right :)

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Wow, given my difficulty with these slang terms, I am obviously not a True AmericanTM, or maybe not even a True English Speaker. Of course the way Ellen Degeneres says "ba-donka-donk" (and out of context, at that), it's hard to blame myself. By all rights, that should be like slang for the sex organs that you recognize correctly the first time you hear it used.

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America is god's country, Sutherland ain't. hehe

 

Don't let those in Sutherland hear you say that. They will be most upset :P

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I just disabled my American dictionary spellchecker today. Unfortunately, I accidentally turned off ALL spellcheckers and along with them, grammar correctors. So I have to do without them for a long time, really.

 

It's actually not too bad because my posts reads cleaner without these squiggly red underlines and I can use whatever words, grammar points and spellings I want without the spellchecker nagging at me for using "ise" and "ae". YAY!

 

Here's a joke I made with my newfound linguistic freedom!

 

Paedophiles ostracises infantophiles from their social circle, and ephebiphiles ostracises paedophiles; dekoramophiles ostracises ephebiphiles and gerontophiles ostracises dekoramophiles. Finally, the necrophiles despises gerontophiles so much they wish the gerontophiles were dead. It's a vicious circle, isn't it?

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