What Is The Most Absurd Christian Teaching?

[Positivist]

"Wives, submit to husbands" and "Women must be silent in church" and the atrocious teaching that leadership is male.

...God worked it out for her through a Joyce Meyer teaching, saying women back then didn't know how to read/very uneducated, so they relied on their husbands to explain things to them.

So Christians answer a repressive verse with an oppressive cultural explanation? And this is STILL happening today...

The beauty and wonder of apologetics is truly amazing.

As long as the dominant social group comes out on top, it must be the correct interpretation of Scripture.

[mcdaddy]

"Wives, submit to husbands" and "Women must be silent in church" and the atrocious teaching that leadership is male.

...God worked it out for her through a Joyce Meyer teaching, saying women back then didn't know how to read/very uneducated, so they relied on their husbands to explain things to them.

So Christians answer a repressive verse with an oppressive cultural explanation? And this is STILL happening today...

The beauty and wonder of apologetics is truly amazing.

As long as the dominant social group comes out on top, it must be the correct interpretation of Scripture.

 

SISTER POS, SIT DOWN AND STFU!

 

and cover your head while yer at it, erm, I think it says....

 

Now where was I before I was so RUDELY INTERRUPTED??!!!!

 

Oh yes, here it is... "Husbands, love your wives like Christ loved the church..."

 

POS, I WON'T TELL YOU AGAIN, SHUUUUUUTT UUUUUPPPP!!!!!!

 

XD

[Positivist]

"Wives, submit to husbands" and "Women must be silent in church" and the atrocious teaching that leadership is male.

...God worked it out for her through a Joyce Meyer teaching, saying women back then didn't know how to read/very uneducated, so they relied on their husbands to explain things to them.

So Christians answer a repressive verse with an oppressive cultural explanation? And this is STILL happening today...

The beauty and wonder of apologetics is truly amazing.

As long as the dominant social group comes out on top, it must be the correct interpretation of Scripture.

 

SISTER POS, SIT DOWN AND STFU!

 

and cover your head while yer at it, erm, I think it says....

 

Now where was I before I was so RUDELY INTERRUPTED??!!!!

 

Oh yes, here it is... "Husbands, love your wives like Christ loved the church..."

 

POS, I WON'T TELL YOU AGAIN, SHUUUUUUTT UUUUUPPPP!!!!!!

 

XD

LOL!!!!

[GardenerGal]

"Wives, submit to husbands" and "Women must be silent in church" and the atrocious teaching that leadership is male.

...God worked it out for her through a Joyce Meyer teaching, saying women back then didn't know how to read/very uneducated, so they relied on their husbands to explain things to them.

So Christians answer a repressive verse with an oppressive cultural explanation? And this is STILL happening today...

The beauty and wonder of apologetics is truly amazing.

As long as the dominant social group comes out on top, it must be the correct interpretation of Scripture.

 

SISTER POS, SIT DOWN AND STFU!

 

and cover your head while yer at it, erm, I think it says....

 

Now where was I before I was so RUDELY INTERRUPTED??!!!!

 

Oh yes, here it is... "Husbands, love your wives like Christ loved the church..."

 

POS, I WON'T TELL YOU AGAIN, SHUUUUUUTT UUUUUPPPP!!!!!!

 

XD

 

You had me lol'ing! I remember asking about the covering our heads bit, and I was told it was metaphorical for how we should submit to authority. Convenient!

[expat674]

All the sexism as described above. Why do modern and intelligent women in the 21st century still fall for this bronze age bullshit?

The way that the "nasty" bible is not mentioned at all. I am sure the Midionites would not call Biblegod loving after he order their destruction.

The way that the murderous, lying, adulterous thug David is always hailed as "a man after god's own heart..." Bible "heroes" do tend to have quite a lot of blood on their hands....

The whole of the book of Job. Biblegod lets Satan kill Job's family and then torture the poor guy. When Job stands up to God, God gets pissed off and refuses to answer Job's questions. This book is then used today as an excuse for suffering...we suffer because biblegod is good?????

 

Jesus' teachings on divorce. A man can divorce his wife if she is unfaithful, but a woman cannot divorce her husband if he beats her black and blue. The god of "love" strikes again. I have read too many heartbreaking stories of abused women (and men) who have stayed in abusive marriages because of their beliefs or because the "loving family of Jesus' church" refused to believe or stand by them.

 

Finally, in a word, creationists

[Legion]

I want a bumper sticker which reads...

 

God loves you, you vile piece of shit.

[FeelHappy]

"Wives, submit to husbands" and "Women must be silent in church" and the atrocious teaching that leadership is male.

 

These teachings effectively cripple 50% of adherents..

God worked it out for her through a Joyce Meyer teaching, saying women back then didn't know how to read/very uneducated, so they relied on their husbands to explain things to them.

 

So Christians answer a repressive verse with an oppressive cultural explanation? And this is STILL happening today...

 

While more men could read than women back then, this just isn't the case, the vast majority of people in Christian communities were illiterate, both the men and the women, the ones who could read were few. According to Ehrman, the percent of the population which could read was less than 10% in the highly educated areas, far less elsewhere.

 

This reminds me of when my mom used to tell me that Jesus was against drinking and it was a sin. I'd quote her some verses of Jesus drinking / turning the water into wine ect and she'd always retort with well the water back then wasn't pure enough to drink so they only could drink wine........hmmm but what about John the Baptist?

 

The things fundies will do not to face the facts of what the bible really says about things. Christianity isn't based on the bible, only on people's impression of what the bible should say, I think this has been pretty clear for a while now.

[Deva]

Teaching the rapture as a real, literal future event.

 

hi Deva, I actually think end time nut jobs like Harold Camping and, Jack van Impe and Rexella, are probably quite similar to the orginal Apostles, i.e. nutters

 

Really folks, teaching that bodies are going to literally come out of graves that have turned to dust and gone all through the entire ecosphere like 50 times - come ON! I mean you have like inhaled particles of these people! Yet they are all going to magically assemble and fly up into the sky. Can you get any more luny tunes?

 

By the way, the Catholic church forbid cremation for centuries. Why? They have to keep the body together so this crazy resurrection event can occur! Never mind that in time its going to break down and form parts of other things.

[Deva]

Teaching the rapture as a real, literal future event.

 

hi Deva, I actually think end time nut jobs like Harold Camping and, Jack van Impe and Rexella, are probably quite similar to the orginal Apostles, i.e. nutters

They must have been a 'special' bunch cuz Jesus taught them for over three years yet they could not recognize him after being dead three days. Then every time he appeared in their midst--SURPRISE!--he would look like someone else and everyone had to be told again who the weirdo was. Then there is my favorite fruit cake, Paul. As far as Christian instruction goes, they lose credibility with the kids in the park and a talking snake.

 

Good Grief Charlie Brown!! People who believe that the physical body is going to magically reassemble itself are nuts! Paul was off his rocker and wrote like he had been doing the equivalent of some drug like LSD.

[Will02]

Seconded. My favorite part is the tower of babel story...go to church Sunday and hear how gawd punished an ancient culture for building a tall building, wake up Monday and go to your office in a much taller building. It's ridiculous.

 

It is indeed ridiculous. Even back in my xian days, I found it strange that gawd cared so much (to the point of actually sounding worried about it) about people building a tall building. Assuming that the tower foundation didn't split under the weight, (brick is nowhere near as good as steel) the builders would have a hard time breathing once they hit the stratosphere, so it would be a self-correcting problem, no?

 

Of course to a bunch of ignorant tribals, god was in the sky so a tower to heaven would make sense. Modern understanding of the world proves that Genesis is bullshit.

[JoeCoastie]

I find it absurd that an all powerful god would reveal himself exclusively to a single tribe in Palestine, and what wonderful message does he have for these people? DESTROY YOUR NEIGHBORS!!!

[sjessen]

I would have to say the Catholic belief that they actually turn wafers and wine into Jesus' body and blood by waving incense or whatever around the communion table. It looks like some kind of hokey magic act.

[JoeCoastie]

I would have to say the Catholic belief that they actually turn wafers and wine into Jesus' body and blood by waving incense or whatever around the communion table. It looks like some kind of hokey magic act.

I called "bullshit" on that even when I was Catholic. Its a superpower only the priests have and even though it still looks, feels, tastes, and smells like a wafer/wine it is the flesh and blood of Jesus.

[lunaticheathen]

I agree with Deva, the Rapture teaching is absolutely insane. Even when I was a christian, it sounded like the ravings of a schizophrenic. People who actually believe that crap, I worry about. O_o

[midniterider]

The idea that god is only allowed to act, think or behave according to what the bible says is absurd.

[raoul]

Where to begin? Where to begin? Actually you folks pretty much stole my thunder. The thing about 'free will' but still having to make that infernal choice along with saying the 'sinner's prayer' makes me wanna puke.

 

I remember when someone at work came to me to preach the good news, on company time btw, I asked the typical questions about sin, innocents kids, etc. He did the usual xtian tapdancing and then I hit him with the biggie about what if a Jewish victim of the Holocaust who'd spent years in a death camp, had his family wiped out there, was finally liberated by the allies only to die right then and there - what about him/her? Are they going to hell?

 

My example wasn't made up, it happened hundreds of times according to stories written about that horrible time. Anyway, his profound reply was "So? What does that have to do with salvation?" I told him to get away from me before I said something we'd both regret.

[stryper]

most absurd....... all of it.

[FeelHappy]

I started reading Genesis again and wow that book is full of absurdity upon absurdity.

 

First there is the conflicting creation accounts.

 

The 800+ year old people, it reminded me of a time when I believed that people could live longer before the flood changed the whole ecosystem.

 

The sons of god mating with the daughters of men and creating a race of giants...... Are you kidding me, how retarded is this and I'm not even through the 7th chapter.

[scriptor]

I would say that the most absurd Christian teaching is that the message of vicarious redemption through human sacrifice constitutes "good news".

[Lilith666]

[quote name=Positivist' timestamp='13400298

31' post='774184]

"Wives, submit to husbands" and "Women must

be silent in church" and the atrocious teaching

that leadership is male.

 

That's the main thing that got me out of the

Church. It still stuns me when the fundies find that normal.

 

Same. It's pretty rough growing up hating

yourself because you lack a God antennae. In Christian organizations I've seen unqualified and

uneducated men professionally oversee doctorally-prepared women because that

somehow makes "Biblical" sense . I've seen a male pastor

scream at his wife from the puplit, "SUBMIT!" But more than anything, I grew

up terribly confused about the role of women in society. It's taken me a long time to recover from

the misogyny of the church.

 

Are you kidding about the pastor screaming at his wife? How incredibly juvenile....even my pastor didn't do that. What church did you go to?

[Positivist]

I've seen a male pastor scream at his wife from the puplit, "SUBMIT!"

Are you kidding about the pastor screaming at his wife? How incredibly juvenile....even my pastor didn't do that. What church did you go to?

It really did happen. It was a visiting pastor at a charismatic church. He wanted to show her off in front of the church, so he told her to come up on stage so he could parade her around (yes, really!). She declined (no doubt out of deep seated Christian humility) so he pointed at her and *shrieked* "SUBMIT!"....and she got up and went onto the stage.

 

I was horrified. I was practically crawling over people to get out of there.

 

Can you imagine this type of shit happening at an academic setting, or in any secular environment? Gawd.

[MrsRoper]

I've seen a male pastor scream at his wife from the puplit, "SUBMIT!"

Are you kidding about the pastor screaming at his wife? How incredibly juvenile....even my pastor didn't do that. What church did you go to?

It really did happen. It was a visiting pastor at a charismatic church. He wanted to show her off in front of the church, so he told her to come up on stage so he could parade her around (yes, really!). She declined (no doubt out of deep seated Christian humility) so he pointed at her and *shrieked* "SUBMIT!"....and she got up and went onto the stage.

 

I was horrified. I was practically crawling over people to get out of there.

 

Can you imagine this type of shit happening at an academic setting, or in any secular environment? Gawd.

 

Why is this not a television show on HBO?

[Guest Valk0010]

I think probably the most absurd, is that, there is this resurrection 2000 years ago (that supposedly fits a general hero myth archetype on its own) of a guy who even without a resurrection would fit the general hero myth archetype(like stated in the Lord Raglan Hero criteria). And supposed evidence is more or less at the same level of quality or worse then you get with the modern day ghost story, appearance of a dead loved one or alien abductions. And the supposed evidence is only believable if you already believe god exists in the first place.

[FeelHappy]

I've seen a male pastor scream at his wife from the puplit, "SUBMIT!"

Are you kidding about the pastor screaming at his wife? How incredibly juvenile....even my pastor didn't do that. What church did you go to?

It really did happen. It was a visiting pastor at a charismatic church. He wanted to show her off in front of the church, so he told her to come up on stage so he could parade her around (yes, really!). She declined (no doubt out of deep seated Christian humility) so he pointed at her and *shrieked* "SUBMIT!"....and she got up and went onto the stage.

 

I was horrified. I was practically crawling over people to get out of there.

 

Can you imagine this type of shit happening at an academic setting, or in any secular environment? Gawd.

 

Wow this is super insane.....Although sadly I used to be bothered by women preaching in churches, not that I had anything against women preaching mind you, I just thought they were disobeying the bible when they did so and therefore were in danger of judgement.....(2 Timothy and 1 Corinthians)....looking back I'm not too proud of it.

[raoul]

I've seen a male pastor scream at his wife from the puplit, "SUBMIT!"

Are you kidding about the pastor screaming at his wife? How incredibly juvenile....even my pastor didn't do that. What church did you go to?

It really did happen. It was a visiting pastor at a charismatic church. He wanted to show her off in front of the church, so he told her to come up on stage so he could parade her around (yes, really!). She declined (no doubt out of deep seated Christian humility) so he pointed at her and *shrieked* "SUBMIT!"....and she got up and went onto the stage.

 

I was horrified. I was practically crawling over people to get out of there.

 

Can you imagine this type of shit happening at an academic setting, or in any secular environment? Gawd.

 

Wow this is super insane.....Although sadly I used to be bothered by women preaching in churches, not that I had anything against women preaching mind you, I just thought they were disobeying the bible when they did so and therefore were in danger of judgement.....(2 Timothy and 1 Corinthians)....looking back I'm not too proud of it.

I always knew that was a complete crock of crap based on the bible itself, ie: the gospel accounts which showed women as being more courageous and more of leaders with Jesus than any of the men. And in Romans at the end Paul speaks of a woman apostle named Junia I believe. That passage in 1st Tim was put in there centuries after the original texts per Bart Ehrmann and other bible scholars. In fact, 1st Tim. may not have even been written by Paul in the first place. Going back the woman apostle mentioned in Romans, the so called orthodoxy attempted to change the name to a masculine one but there weren't any such masculine Latin names back then so they failed - the early church fathers were nothing more than a bunch of misogynists bent on pushing certain doctiines down our throats.