Why Are Teens Leaving The Faith?

[blackpudd1n]

I see no reason for a god. I don't believe in any god. I have reached the stage where the whole prospect of there being a deity is laughable. If there is a deity out there, it clearly doesn't give a shit. So I'm not going to give a shit, either.

 

I've heard people talk about "atheists and their foxholes", you know, when they're in a spot and they start praying. Well, I've been in my foxholes lately, and I still haven't prayed. I guess I have progressed past the point of no return. No doubts, no fears, no grief. My mind is my own now, but attuned to how brainwashing works from my time as a christian, so trying to get me back? Again, laughable.

[hereticzero]

I remember one commentary on the prodigal son, that more or less said:

 

"God lets us wander off sometimes, because He knows that we will have a very unhappy time without Him and return."

 

Yuh-huh......

i like J. R. R. Tolkien's quote from Gandalf the Gray, 'not all who wander are lost,' or something like that.

 

Wandering is NOT always because a person is lost, in a sinful context. The Jews wandered for 40 years but not because they were lost but because the religious nut-bag they followed forced them to wander without a home until the old generation had died out.

 

When a person wanders from the 'faith' it's a matter of escape. Whether they go back or not depends if they can run far enough to succeed in escaping, many do return just out of peer pressure from the cult that consumes them with so much guilt for leaving, they return to the cult 'like a dog to its vomit.'

 

Xtians hate to lose to common sense and have a BS answer for everything.

[hereticzero]

If the internet had been around when I was younger, so I could search most of my questions concerning the screwball religion, I probably would have left sooner.

[♦ ficino ♦]

I see no reason for a god. I don't believe in any god. I have reached the stage where the whole prospect of there being a deity is laughable. If there is a deity out there, it clearly doesn't give a shit. So I'm not going to give a shit, either.

 

I've heard people talk about "atheists and their foxholes", you know, when they're in a spot and they start praying. Well, I've been in my foxholes lately, and I still haven't prayed. I guess I have progressed past the point of no return. No doubts, no fears, no grief. My mind is my own now, but attuned to how brainwashing works from my time as a christian, so trying to get me back? Again, laughable.

 

Hey, hope things are going OK at funeral and that happy surprises are in store for you survivors.

 

I was thinking about that phrase. It's really repulsive. Guys getting blown to mud and shit all around, some guys pray, some survive, some don't... GOD gets the credit for those who survive? Meaning GOD sat back and did nothing for the others? Or, if you're a Calvinist, GOD is the first cause of World War I and all the other wars. I would think such a war experience would convince people that either there is no God or that God pays no heed to affairs of humans.

[Guest Valk0010]

My theory on why teens leave the faith is not because say so much, that they find say evidence that the exodus didn't occur, they just notice how christianity clashes with the basics of reality. Like say having a gay friend and realizing this guy or gal isn't a monster and doesn't deserve to be denied from having the same experience (love) as we do. Or they realize that the women's place is christianity is contrived and dumb. And also they Christians embarrassing themselves trying to be say creationists.

 

Sometimes evidence does really stare you in the face, the question is, do you see it. And they are seeing the obvious reasons why Christianity is absurd.

[Serendipity Rose]

"season of searching" only to "return to him".

 

They really won't let go of proverbs 22:6 will they?

 

McD, I've always thought this is one of the most sound verses. If you start your children off with love, they will most certainly follow love. And they will likely discover that love has nothing to do with religion as well...

[Serendipity Rose]

"Adolescence is the phase of life in which everything seems up for grabs."

 

And this is definitely true. And it's a good thing.

 

They are certainly misguided to think that faith itself will bring them back into the "fold". It's not faith in the supernatural that brings them back, it's acceptance. If they don't find acceptance outside of church while they are seeking, they will return to the "faith" that they knew as children only because they know no other way.

 

Isn't it interesting how easy it is for Christians to abandon things like rules and doctrines that don't work just to figure out how to keep the baby (no offense teens) sheep coming back?

[♦ ficino ♦]

The reasons given in the article linked in the OP boil down to: the Church isn't getting the Word across. No confrontation with the obvious: the belief system sucks. Praise God for the kids who ditch it! Do I hear an 'amen'?

[Thought2Much]

My theory on why teens leave the faith is not because say so much, that they find say evidence that the exodus didn't occur, they just notice how christianity clashes with the basics of reality. Like say having a gay friend and realizing this guy or gal isn't a monster and doesn't deserve to be denied from having the same experience (love) as we do. Or they realize that the women's place is christianity is contrived and dumb. And also they Christians embarrassing themselves trying to be say creationists.

 

Or they now have more contact with people from Europe and places where religion is less common, who look at the religious nutjobs here in the United States and say, "What the fuck? You don't actually believe that shit, do you?" so that makes the people here look more closely at why they believe what they do, and makes them realize how ridiculous it is.

[ConureDelSol]

I know why teens are leaving the faith. They have internet, friends with reasoning skills and the ability to read non-Christian books.

[atkegar]

I know why teens are leaving the faith. They have internet, friends with reasoning skills and the ability to read non-Christian books.

 

Very true. I will say that it does my heart good every time I hear a young person leave the faith, for it is easier to do so young, than molder. I know I wish I could have become an atheist in college. Maybe I would not be in the quandry I am now, for I am emotionally attached to Church going, even as I no longer believe. Oh well.

 

But, with the internet, etc, there is more information available today then there was ever before to the average person.

[Guest Valk0010]

I know why teens are leaving the faith. They have internet, friends with reasoning skills and the ability to read non-Christian books.

 

Very true. I will say that it does my heart good every time I hear a young person leave the faith, for it is easier to do so young, than molder. I know I wish I could have become an atheist in college. Maybe I would not be in the quandry I am now, for I am emotionally attached to Church going, even as I no longer believe. Oh well.

 

But, with the internet, etc, there is more information available today then there was ever before to the average person.

I think it depends on the person, sometimes i wish it happened when I was older so I wouldn't have been at such a loss about alot of things.

[MultifariousBirdLady]

I remember one commentary on the prodigal son, that more or less said:

"God lets us wander off sometimes, because He knows that we will have a very unhappy time without Him and return."

 

That was one of the things that I worried about when I left... that if I was wrong and Christianity really was true that my life would go into the toilet.

 

That kind of thinking can make for a self-fulfilling prophecy, too.

 

Besides, what a sad consolation. Just because they reconvert doesn't mean they grew! Most who do 'revert' to their earlier programming says something more about the fact that they never did the harder work of self-discovery, which is vastly different that 'straying'. Those that truly go the path of asking questions can't return to that twaddle. It's like telling someone at 40 years of age to be a five year old again.

 

Agreed, there. I know I couldn't go back to that even if I wanted to. I would have to lie to myself.

 

When a person wanders from the 'faith' it's a matter of escape. Whether they go back or not depends if they can run far enough to succeed in escaping, many do return just out of peer pressure from the cult that consumes them with so much guilt for leaving, they return to the cult 'like a dog to its vomit.'

 

I've had that struggle, yeah. Not just guilt for leaving, but guilt for everything.

 

My theory on why teens leave the faith is not because say so much, that they find say evidence that the exodus didn't occur, they just notice how christianity clashes with the basics of reality. Like say having a gay friend and realizing this guy or gal isn't a monster and doesn't deserve to be denied from having the same experience (love) as we do. Or they realize that the women's place is christianity is contrived and dumb. And also they Christians embarrassing themselves trying to be say creationists.

 

Sometimes evidence does really stare you in the face, the question is, do you see it. And they are seeing the obvious reasons why Christianity is absurd.

 

For me those things got the gears turning, certainly, but they weren't enough on their own to cause me to leave the faith. I think many do what I did for a while and take the route of sliding towards more liberal Christianity when confronted with those things, rather than forsake the faith altogether.

[Akheia]

I don't think the writer of this piece actually talked to anybody who left that faith. He just made up his own reasons. And don't think I didn't wonder why the article didn't have comments enabled! He doesn't want to learn the truth.

 

This made me sad:

Those who leave the faith sometimes do so because they had questions and the church didn't help answer them. In some cases, their questions were ignored. In others, doubt was considered a sin to be squelched quickly. Their questions varied from "Why do bad things happen to good people?" (intellectual doubt) to "If God cared about me, then I wouldn't feel so (depressed, sad, lonely, etc.)" (emotional doubt) to "Why do Christians not believe in evolution?" "Why does the Bible contradict itself?" to "Why didn't God answer my prayer for my parents not to divorce?" (experiential doubt). These are the types of questions the intellectual doubter needs to answer. Unfortunately, many times they either get poor answers from Christians or bad answers (which can sound convincing) from outside the Christian faith.

 

It's okay to doubt--as long as you don't doubt so much you end up leaving the religion. A teeny bit of doubt is good, but a lot is very bad, and faith-destroying faith is not okay. Wow. Thanks for setting me straight on that one. And also for declaring so firmly that if I continue to doubt, the problem is that I got "poor answers from Christians" or "bad answers (which can sound convincing) from outside the Christian faith." Obviously the issue was that I didn't talk to TRUE CHRISTIANS, or worse yet that I made up my own mind after viewing the evidence before me. This guy really is just rock-solid terrified of education and encountering dissenting opinions, isn't he?

 

He speaks so well of how bad it is that doubt is considered a "sin" by most denominations, but then falls into that same trap himself, implying that those who doubt so much they leave are weak-willed or snookered. Disgusting. (Hey, if he's seeing this on a search, he's welcome to come ask US why we left. I bet it won't sound much at all like this sorry bit of pablum he's written.)

[mymistake]

Sometimes there are good answers outside the faith.

 

Question: Why does the Bible contradict itself?

 

Good Answer: Because the Bible is myth.

 

There are very few churches that have the guts to tell that truth.

[MultifariousBirdLady]

It's okay to doubt--as long as you don't doubt so much you end up leaving the religion. A teeny bit of doubt is good, but a lot is very bad, and faith-destroying faith is not okay. Wow. Thanks for setting me straight on that one. And also for declaring so firmly that if I continue to doubt, the problem is that I got "poor answers from Christians" or "bad answers (which can sound convincing) from outside the Christian faith." Obviously the issue was that I didn't talk to TRUE CHRISTIANS, or worse yet that I made up my own mind after viewing the evidence before me.

 

You got that right. I was stymied by this very dilemma during my confused period after I left.

I kept thinking:

Have I looked for answers hard enough?

Shouldn't I just keep an open mind and keep looking for those answers? If you ask you shall receive, right?

Am I just being willful or 'rebellious'?

Am I blinding myself to God's truth? Maybe I should just "trust God" to make things clear eventually instead of doubting.

Am I being led astray by "evil" (people, ideas, demonic beings)?

 

One of the things that helped to get me through that was to look at the psychological techniques used by cults to keep people in them: they say pretty much the exact same things. It became clear that these ideas are manipulations put forth by groups with an agenda. If those arguments to stay and "keep looking" aren't valid for cults, then they aren't valid for Christianity, either.

 

I had to eventually become firmer in my conviction that the reason I kept seeing problems in Christianity was because there really were problems, and that I had done enough searching for some work-around, trying to get Christianity to make sense. If I really was wrong about what I was seeing and if God truly was loving*, he would understand why I saw problems in the faith and would even approve that I followed my conscience and left. What if truly following God (or whatever Spiritual Truth there is) demands that one leave a false, oppressive religious system when one recognizes it?

 

 

 

 

* And if he wasn't....... wouldn't it be morally right to not follow him?

[Lilith666]

I'm pretty sure I understand God better now that I've left. S/he created the world and then lost interest. I used to believe God knew all, could do all, and loved us. But now I have a more realistic idea of who God actually is.

 

It's so condescending to imply that leaving Xianity is just a phase, that God's unfailing mercy can bring anyone back. Like we aren't serious about quitting--if we knew the Bible that well, we would still be Xians.

[♦ ficino ♦]

Sometimes there are good answers outside the faith.

 

Question: Why does the Bible contradict itself?

 

Good Answer: Because the Bible is myth.

 

There are very few churches that have the guts to tell that truth.

 

An old friend of mine resigned from the Catholic priesthood this summer. He said he could not support The Big Lie any longer. He's giving up the church's health care and retirement benefits too, at age 63.

[roadrunner]

It's so condescending to imply that leaving Xianity is just a phase, that God's unfailing mercy can bring anyone back. Like we aren't serious about quitting--if we knew the Bible that well, we would still be Xians.

 

I know i hate this. "I've been in that boat" . No they havent. I admit that people may temporarily bail for emotional reasons but to go on a long journey to find facts and dismiss chistianity as a myth among the other thousands is not a phase.

[roadrunner]

Sometimes there are good answers outside the faith.

 

Question: Why does the Bible contradict itself?

 

Good Answer: Because the Bible is myth.

 

There are very few churches that have the guts to tell that truth.

 

An old friend of mine resigned from the Catholic priesthood this summer. He said he could not support The Big Lie any longer. He's giving up the church's health care and retirement benefits too, at age 63.

OMG is he in the clergy project

[◊ crazyguy123 ◊]

http://www.lifeway.c...gfaith-20120724

 

It's not comfortable or fun to hear my kids question things that I am firmly convinced are true. But they are in good company. Moses did it, Job did it, and Thomas did it. God was not intimidated by Moses' feelings, Job's questions, or Thomas' doubts. After their season of searching, each of them was brought to a new and deeper understanding of who God is.

 

Hey guys, It looks like we are all out on a "season of searching"! (I love these quaint little euphemisms xians come up with )

 

This article's claim is that children who are raised with a "sticky faith" will all return like the prodigal son to the irresistible christian god. They gave good advice that parents should be patient, walk with their children, and let them explore questions. But perhaps they are a bit naïve in their belief that all lost sheep will one day return.

 

How is your "season of searching" going? Do you feel that you've reached a "new and deeper understanding of who God is"? I know there's a place in our info boxes for this definition, but I'll ask anyway: Who or what is your understanding of god?

 

Obviously whoever wrote this article about why people are leaving the Christian faith, has no idea why people are doing that. They just can't imagine how anyone could not believe in their god, the Bible is all the evidence most Christians need. They don't think any outside source is needed to prove that the Bible is a reliable source for learning about history or morality.

 

In my "season of searching" I came to the realization that the Bible god was a horrible monster, which I am really glad there is no evidence to support the existence of. As far as a "new and deeper understanding of who God is" I don't know anything about this. Even though I don't believe in any gods because I am not convinced that the gods people believe in are real gods, I do still wonder if maybe there is a god or even multiple gods. It would be interesting to know. Even though I don't know if there are gods or not, I do not think they could ever be as cruel or sadistic as the Bible god. Even though such a thing is possible, I try not to think of the possibility of the universe being the creation of a sadistic narcissist.

[new2me]

Their questions varied from "Why do bad things happen to good people?" (intellectual doubt) to "If God cared about me, then I wouldn't feel so (depressed, sad, lonely, etc.)" (emotional doubt) to "Why do Christians not believe in evolution?" "Why does the Bible contradict itself?" to "Why didn't God answer my prayer for my parents not to divorce?" (experiential doubt). These are the types of questions the intellectual doubter needs to answer. Unfortunately, many times they either get poor answers from Christians or bad answers (which can sound convincing) from outside the Christian faith.

 

Are there any GOOD answers to these questions from Christians? If so, I have yet to hear them. If these 'good answers' actually exist, I would expect Christians to provide them rather than lamenting about people receiving the 'bad answers'.

[greylight]

As one of the "teens who left the faith" I wish people who think it's 'just a phase for that poor lost sheep' would think for a moment. I spent TWO YEARS of my life in agony over this. They would like to say it is because I am without the love of god, and for awhile I thought that. Then i realized, if god really wanted me back, it would not be so hard. Where was the shepherd who went out to search for his lost sheep? Was this my fault? Am I not looking for answers hard enough? Praying hard enough? Demands, demands, demands, I had to do this, I had to do that. I was never good enough. I couldn't have my life at a stand still, stuck in the mud and put everything on hold for a god who wasn't answering me. So I moved on. This was not done lightly, and there was a time where I was in depression over it. Why would I put myself through this trauma if it was 'just a phase'? I can't go merrily skipping back into the faith. That's the past. Now? Figuring it out. But I don't believe in a contradictory being like the Xian god.

[♦ ficino ♦]

Greylight, welcome here from a fellow New Yorker!

[MultifariousBirdLady]

As one of the "teens who left the faith" I wish people who think it's 'just a phase for that poor lost sheep' would think for a moment. I spent TWO YEARS of my life in agony over this. They would like to say it is because I am without the love of god, and for awhile I thought that. Then i realized, if god really wanted me back, it would not be so hard. Where was the shepherd who went out to search for his lost sheep? Was this my fault? Am I not looking for answers hard enough? Praying hard enough? Demands, demands, demands, I had to do this, I had to do that. I was never good enough. I couldn't have my life at a stand still, stuck in the mud and put everything on hold for a god who wasn't answering me. So I moved on. This was not done lightly, and there was a time where I was in depression over it. Why would I put myself through this trauma if it was 'just a phase'? I can't go merrily skipping back into the faith. That's the past. Now? Figuring it out. But I don't believe in a contradictory being like the Xian god.

 

You said it! The whole "the answers are there if you only look hard enough" idea is bull. It never occurs to them that perhaps they haven't looked hard enough. Apparently feeling complacent is proof of truth for them.

 

Welcome, too, from an upstater.