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What Are You Going To Say To Jesus When You Meet Him


Castiel233
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I am going for The Simpsons Glove slap approach 

 

"You Sir, Have insulted humanity's honour, we demanded satisfaction"

 

Note: Should this post being read in 2100 or beyond, I am currently being roasted by the God of "love", please leave a message 

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  • Moderator

You're not as handsome as I thought you were going to be......glare.gif  

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     Who is doing what now?  Is this some sort of fan fiction?  The original story is stupid enough.

 

          mwc

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You got 12 guys to leave their wives and girlfriends to spend 3 and a half years roaming the countryside with you? 

 

And you also had homosexuals put to death?

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Is it true that you are your own father and you also are your own son?

 

Followup question:

Wouldn't that also mean that you are your own grandpa?  Think about it.  You are the father of your father.  Likewise, you are the son of your own son.

 

Followup to the followup question:

Doesn't that continue on forever with you being your infinite descendent and also your own infinite ancestor?

 

Followup to the followup of the followup:

Isn't that all kind of silly?  

 

 

Yeah, I'm so getting hit by lightning.

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I'd say, "Well, you and I both know that you're omniscient and that you knew I was going to Hell since long before I was born, so let's just skip that pointless judgment bullshit and get on with the damnation!"

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What's up with you?

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still a daddy's boy?

 

he set you up for failure, and you still live under his thumb?

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Am I the only one with a kind comment? He taught love and altruism so he does not deserve the hate. There are so many that taught lies about him.  I would tell him he's awesome and ask him what he thinks about the religion created in his name that gave him a super bad rep.

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I don't think I'll ever meet him but I'd be begging him to stay away from all living things because he can only ever cause pain and despair.  He is a pain, power and control addict.  Like most addicts he does not realize that he is addicted.  He obviously has problems since he has returned to his daddy who abused and tortured him to death.  A healthy person would never go back.  I would explain to him that he is not a good leader and that his 'subjects' would be better off without him.  Then he'll go kill himself. 

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People say a lot of things about you. How much of what people say about you is bullshit? 

 

Provided he can somehow prove he is really THE Jesus Christ, I'd be giving him a chance to have his say.

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"Can I have a feel?"

 

 

Revelation 1 : 12 & 13, KJV.

12 And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks;

13 And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paps

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1. Remember you said you'd be back "soon" -- so where have you been for over 2000 years?

 

2. Did you really marry Mary Magdalene and was that marriage for-real or was it a cover-up so you could spend time with your boyfriend(s)?

 

3. Ghandi said: "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ."  How would you respond to webmaster Dave's compilation of "Jesus On A Bad Day"?     http://www.exchristian.net/pics/wallet_bible2.htm

 

4. And while you're at it, how about addressing all the other biblical contradictions too.

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Thanks for throwing me under the bus and proving me right all along. Thanks for allowing your fan club to make my life a living hell and use me as their garbage dump and also allowing them to treat me like an option. Thanks for making me feel like I was made for abuse. 

 

You failed me, big time. 

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Awww shit... I took too much LSD again. Hey Jesus, where is Buddha? I am sure now that you guys hang out together and drink beer and go to strip clubs, right? can I come?

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Am I the only one with a kind comment? He taught love and altruism so he does not deserve the hate. There are so many that taught lies about him.  I would tell him he's awesome and ask him what he thinks about the religion created in his name that gave him a super bad rep.

 

I was taught all about the loving and kind and wonderful jesus as well.  Was brought up through the church school ranks believing in my 'best friend' jesus. 

 

Remember this verse?  John 10:30 30 I and my Father are one.

 

Now, consider these verses:  1 Sam 15

This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy[a] all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.’”

 

Read the whole of Lev 25, and compare how some housing property (city houses) can be bought permanently just like some classes of people (foreigners), while country houses and hebrew male slaves can only be bought for x number of years and must be freed at "Jubilee."

 

As a colored man, I found it absolutely nerve wrecking to read Lev. 25 and think about the happy hippy jesus I was raised to believe in.  It wasn't until I scrutinized my religion like I do other religions that it all made some damn sense.  I saw the evolution of judaism and the christian religion that evolved from its teachings. 

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Am I the only one with a kind comment? He taught love and altruism so he does not deserve the hate. There are so many that taught lies about him.  I would tell him he's awesome and ask him what he thinks about the religion created in his name that gave him a super bad rep.

 

 

How do you know which rumors about Jesus are true and which rumors about Jesus are false?  Yes I agree that there are so many that taught lies about Jesus.  Everybody and his uncle has used Jesus as a tool to further their own agenda.  But it sounds like you think somebody has not made up crap about Jesus.  How would you know if anything in the New Testament is true?

 

I do remember having my imaginary friend Jesus so I get how awesome that was.  He was perfection dreaming about perfection.  But then one day I realized that isn't very realistic.

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As a colored man, I found it absolutely nerve wrecking to read Lev. 25 and think about the happy hippy jesus I was raised to believe in. 

 

You know what Roz, in 15 years of very frequent church attendance and hardly missing a single Sunday lesson I was never once informed that Jesus and his dad are pro-slavery, pro-kidnapping and pro-torture.  How could my Bible teachers have missed those things because it's glaring obvious when the pages are read!  They want to believe so bad in the fairy tale that they end up lying to themselves and everyone else about the true content.  Had I only known that Yahweh is a god for barbarians I'd have turned my back in disgust from the very beginning instead of devoting my whole life to a slave-master who thinks non-Hebrews don't deserve to be free.  I have so much pain and embarrassment knowing my whole adopted family and extended family grovels at the feet and service of a god who loves slavery. 

 

There was a lesson recently at a-mum's church where the minister addressed one of Yahweh's genocidal slaughters.  One brave man stood up and walked out.  One in a hundred actually has a brain and a heart.   

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