I've Been Here Before

[☆ moxieflux66 ☆]

53 minutes ago, Fuego said:

 

The level of detail I see in dreams fascinates me! I had one where I was in an older home and there had been some odd activity from the clown from "IT", so I was investigating things like the lock not quite latching, looking behind a flimsy curtain and seeing a few shelves of old toys from the 1940s-50s era. The old dusty toys (like a top and a deck of cards) had his painted image on them repeating. I woke up from the dream genuinely impressed at my subconscious creating that level of detail. It wasn't even scary, though it may have been intended that way. I've been craving for that creative part of me to influence how I sing and do other things in life. 

 

I've also had the old house or theater dreams where there are endless rooms and hallways, usually influenced by my childhood home but greatly enhanced. 

 

Years ago, that part of my being also gave me a dream that helped me process my deconversion (long):

 

I dreamed that I was in the kitchen of my childhood old house, moonlight coming through the window. I was with my brother chatting about stuff.

 

I looked out the window and saw the night sky and a bright full moon, but like a detailed artist's rendition with many moons like line drawings. I said "Am I dreaming? How can I be dreaming, this seems so real." Yet, the image of many moons didn't fade, but grew more detailed. I had to investigate! I went to the back porch to go outside, but the back porch area was dark, and the light wouldn't turn on. This has always been a clue in my dreams that I was about to confront "evil". I noticed that the image of the sky changed when I looked out the back porch window versus through the back porch door screen. It changed from a regular image in the window to fog when I looked back and forth through the glass to through the screen door. I realized that it was all an illusion specifically to lure me onto the back porch. 

 

A little boy was there laughing in the semi-dark. He was "the devil" and I caught him as he ran by and tossed him to the ground and put my foot on his chest. I could feel the standard "evil power" starting to immobilize my muscles and voice as I tried to squeek out the name of Jesus, but then realized what I was doing. I am an ex-Christian. I said clearly out-loud, "I don't need Jesus to do this. I need to do this." I had my foot on his little chest. He giggled joyfully, got up and ran out the back door while "saying" to me "careful, you're about to sin". I replied, "There is no sin." He kept laughing and running around in the moonlight as I watched. 

 

I asked him, "You're me, aren't you?" (not so much a statement as a question) Part of me spoke this question to him carefully, still confronting the old fear of asking questions of demons. Parts of the dream are fading now. He stopped and looked at me, and laughed while standing next to a winter-time rose bush, no flowers but full of thorns. He smiled and embraced it. There was no pain. He then ran by me and I caught him again and purposefully swung him into the thorns. He yelled "Ow!"  I said, "It hurts if I do it, but not if you do it." I realized then I didn't need to hurt him/me. He wasn't an enemy. I am him, we are one. My intent created the pain. He is also able to do things that I cannot consciously.

(Note: I think I might be the rose bush. He is calling me out, being active and playful, waiting on me to see reality, waiting for me to blossom, embracing me and my thorns in the meantime.)

 

Somewhere after this I awoke. 

 

Last night I had been thinking about how I used to be able to feel a change in spiritual power when I crossed a state line. I realized last night that I felt it because I expected to feel it. I had been taught about demons and angels setting up boundaries, and aligning themselves with areas. I realized this was a childish imaginary thought, but I had made it "real" by believing it. In my dream, I had revisited my childhood fears. I didn't need a savior this time. I am both the devil and god and neither, there is just one. The world that seemed so real then is illusion. This makes me laugh.

That was better than watching a movie! I love it! Thanks! Let's do more of this. 

 

[☆ moxieflux66 ☆]

On 3/10/2022 at 5:44 PM, Weezer said:

Whether we were designed for it, or it just happened, I think you made an excelent observation.  I wrestled with purpose but finally came to the conclusion we do have purpose.  And like TABA said, much of the debate has been over my head.  Science/physics/math/cosmology, etc are not my cup of tea.  My orientation has been in trying to understand human beings and their social behavior through the ages, and as a professional, how to promote human well-being.  Nature has also held my interest since a young child.   It came to me several years ago that when you look at the big picture of "nature" (including humans), and look at what every living thing strives to do, it is to reproduce itself and grow.  And there are conditions under which everything grows best.  I came to the conclusion that our purpose in life is to promote life.  

 

I agree. Promoting life in every way that comes our way, as facilitators of humanity, not its savior. Another step in the process. 

[☆ moxieflux66 ☆]

On 3/10/2022 at 5:44 PM, Weezer said:

And growing up christian, the words attributed to Jesus, "...I am come that they may have life, and have it more abundently", kept echoing in my mind.  And also that "love" for self and neighbor Is in the interest of the universe.  It looks at what is in the best interest of "WE".  If you value life, you do what you can to promote it.  Not tear it down, or thwart it's growth, which the doctrine of original sin does.   Love/respect is a step up in moral evolution from "original sin" and "eye for eye" thinking.  HA! the eye for eye thnking is the one I have trouble leaving behind!

 

..as do I.