garrisonjj Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Here is my sample. Feel free to add to it. It's god's will It's in god's hands (never seen em!) Just have faith I'll pray for you (like he is going to fuckin listen to someone's begging) He/She is with god now They are in a better place Praise be to god! ( Like he needs my fuckin praise for anything Just have faith (Like if I can't fuckin explain the obvious nonexistence of god I'll invent a system that deals with that = fuckin faith) How could I have believed such bullshit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shiva H. Vishnu Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 The worst are.... "WTF are you doing! That's my ass, you creep!" "Son, you know how you've always thought you were born a male...." and "Why do you always want to do it from behind? Isn't the bag enough?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Phrases That Make You Sick "Heh heh heh! Dang, boy, you sherdue gots a purdy mouth." I'd rather not talk about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shiva H. Vishnu Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 He doesn't mean "sick"as in "sick with anticipation", Fwee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 He doesn't mean "sick"as in "sick with anticipation", Fwee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shiva H. Vishnu Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 "Greetings in Jesus' Name." Who the fuck are you? His personal secretary? "He's in a better place now. He's gone home to be with the lard." Oh hell. Basically anything that comes out of a fundies mouth. Okay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceOfMind Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 "God's plan...' "If it's God's will..." "Suffering happens because we're in a 'fallen world'." "All work should be done FOR the glory of the Lord." "Praise Jesus, _____________ ." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 "Have a blessed day." A sweet sentiment but it's obnoxious... "Truly blessed and Highly favored!" Okay, there is this fundie security guard where I work. He is a really cool guy and I talk to him all the time. But whenever I walk in, this is what happens... Fundie Guard: Hey Mr. LosingMyReligion, how you doin? Me: I'm fine, how are you? Fundie Guard: Truly Blessed and Highly favored! I usually just have a weird look on my face, because I never know what in the hell to say to that. I also hate it when fundies quote random bible scriptures...So lame. I also hate those fundies on T.V. who think they are life coaches... "YOU NAME IT AND CLAIM IT!" please, just shut the fuck up. You only say it because it rhymes, you dumbasses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 "Have a blessed day." A sweet sentiment but it's obnoxious... OMG...I had completely blocked that one. Must be because my Ex said it to me EVERY FUCKING DAY as I was leaving for work. Not, "I love you honey, have a great day!", but "Have a blessed day!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dibby Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 How about, "God spoke to me......," or "God spoke to my heart and told me....." I suppose this is meant to end all argument about whatever god has spoken to them about. I mean, who are we to argue against the almighty? Hmmmm just thought of another quickie...."That witnesses to my spirit" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 How about, "God spoke to me......," or "God spoke to my heart and told me....." I suppose this is meant to end all argument about whatever god has spoken to them about. I mean, who are we to argue against the almighty? Hmmmm just thought of another quickie...."That witnesses to my spirit" My mom uses the "God speaks to me" line every single time someone doesn't agree with her. In fact my entire family says it...Like god is audibly talking to them. I don't have it in my heart to tell my mum to shut up, anymore.... It just sounds so retarded when you listen to adults talking about an invisible being in the sky talking to them personally. Another favorite... "Are you saved?" My reply: Saved from what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xrayman7040 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 My Ex-Freind who is so far into his fundy cult he will no longer speak to me used to refer to fellow male Christians from his church as his "Brothers in Christ." I just wanted to say, "Shut the fuck up you brainwashed bastard, and think of how much more fun we used to have going to strip clubs with our brothers in perversion." As far as a phrase that makes me sick from a different perspective, any phrase with the word "Discharge" in it. Heathcare workers do not want to hear the word discharge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Phrases of all shades annoy me. Wiccan - "Merry meet" and "Blessed day", etc. No actual Wiccan ever says this, just kids trying to look cool and alternative-spiritual. Christian - I really don't have time to create that long of a list. Boss - "ASAP", "anyhoo", etc. Is every boss taking their inspiration from Office Space or something? "May or may not be" - no shit? There's three totally unneccessary words in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 "I know the peace you are seeking, and it's with the Lord..." I really hate this one. They sound so goddamned retarded, the urge to smack them is hot and immediate. "I'll pray for you." Pretty euphimisim for "I'm better than you and the world should pity your existance, heathen scum." "Yours in Christ..." I don't know why, but this phrase always makes me thinking of that part in Empire Strikes Back where they cut open the Taun Taun and shove Luke inside of it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 "Yours in Christ..." I don't know why, but this phrase always makes me thinking of that part in Empire Strikes Back where they cut open the Taun Taun and shove Luke inside of it.... You too?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nirrti Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 When someone uses the word "better" when they should use "best" as in........ "This was one of the better chocolate cakes I've had," instead of, "This is one of the best chocolate cakes." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willybilly30 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 When some says I love you and jesus loves you he touched my life and he can touch you. Or that song he touched me "i know that isn't a phrase' I feel like they are asking if they can fuck me I'm sorry but that's just the way my mind reads it. expecially if they put their hand on me. I feel like yelling Rape! YES, I am paranoid and that shit freaks the hell out of us paranoid people! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JP Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 -It's not a religion, it's a relationship! -Everything happens for a reason! -God said it, I believe it, That Settles it! -God danced the day you were born! I'm sure there are thousands more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 -God danced the day you were born! Maybe they're talking about Shiva? Some more....... If anybody uses the words "whimsy" or "whimsical" to describe something, that object is immediately poison to me. Those two words create more inner teeth-gnashing than any other, with the sole exception of "bling bling". Except I get more of an urge to shoot people upon hearing "bling bling". "Know what I'm sayin'." Yeah, I know what you're saying, you're not a rapper, and if you were you'd get your ass kicked at every one of your shows for using the same tired phrase thirty times in as many seconds. Honestly, whenever I hear anybody use this phrase, they can't use it just once. They have to use it every third word. "The love of Jesus". My grandmother throws this one around a lot. I'll say I think everybody is "saved" (or really that I don't believe in "salvation", because that implies that people need to be "saved" from something, which I don't believe at all), and my grandmother says, "Of course they will, if they have the love of Jesus." It just irks me. "Bee's knees". Where the fuck did that shit come from? Waaaaay left field? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? If I say something's the bee's knees, I'm saying that it's microscopic, covered in pollen, jointed exoskeletally and probably hairy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shiva H. Vishnu Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Maybe they're talking about Shiva? Whatchoo talkin bout, Willis? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizard Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Not really a phrase, but words used wrong..as in using "rather" in place of "whether" "Its going to rain rather you want it to or not." As a mod on another board, I used to change this one woman's posts, that one word, because of that. To me, it was worse than fingernails on a chalkboard or someone chewing on a sweater.. You're going through some really, really, really bad shit..and someone pops off with: "All things work together for good!" Uh..yeah..makes me feel like that Twilight episode with the kid: "Its Good that I got fired. Real good!" "Its Good that I'm homeless." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnosis of Disbelief Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 -God danced the day you were born! That one had me cracking up. My ego is not that big. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xrayman7040 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I work with college educated people who use the redneckish phrase "I seen." instead of "I've seen." That whole "I seen" thing to me is like fucking nails on a chalkboard. I am a huge fan of proper grammer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffXL Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 The fucking empty slogans: "It takes more faith to believe [sic] in evolution than Gawd/Jeezus/The Babble." "Evolution is just a religion." Arrgghhhh! Since moving to Illinois a decade ago, I've heard the phrase "Do you have a church home?" As I've said before here, my wife says I should answer "No, just a normal house." Not really a phrase, but the presumption I'm one of them is pretty damn arrogant. "You can't disprove God" drives me nuts, but it does make the Xtian really look mighty stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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