Guest peavy Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 This is one of my favorite examples of how ignorant Christians can be: In a Christian forum, there was a debate about evolution. After repeatedly telling this particular Christian that evolution doesn't happen overnight and that it's a long ongoing process, he holds to the fact that no one has ever seen one species change to another in the history of humans. I tell him again that evolution is a slow process. His response: "lol it must be realllly slow if we've never seen it happened. haha lame." Here's another good one: "Have you not ever thought that maybe Satan inspired the older religions in order to undermine the originality of Christianity? Seems pretty obvious to me!" And here's one I hear all the time: "You may not believe in God, but He believes in you!" ....well, you got me there, bud! Share your favorite dumb Christian quotes here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 "If man came from monkeys, why do we still have monkeys?" "It's not a religion; it's a relationship." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Net Eng Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 "Hate the sin. Love the sinner." "He's in a better place now." - Said to me after my father died suddenly last September... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bush country Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 "I pray a hedge of protection around Brother A and Sister B" "I bind Satan back in the name of Jeebus" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted March 13, 2008 Super Moderator Share Posted March 13, 2008 My former pastor: "Doubt your doubts." - Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexyLady Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 "Jesus loves you, even if you don't love him." "Repent, or go to hell." Kind of contradictory, don't you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Genesis Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Don't forget this one, "the bible is the perfect inerrant word of God." Another one of my favorites, "faith is not logical" (yes, I've actually had a xtian admit to me that faith wasn't logical and so I was supposed to stop using my brain and take everything on by faith). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gobbler Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 " I know, that I know, I know it's true!" "The tour guide said these rock formations were millions of years old. I snickered and thought to myself that they were only six thousand years old!" "Every dot and tittle of the bible is true! You can trust in what it says!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonolithTMA Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 "God gave me a word of knowledge about you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyChef Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 On the non-belief in Heaven or Hell...."You'd BETTER be right"....don't forget the sneer or look of disgust to go with it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabula Rasa Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 "God gave me a word of knowledge about you." I've had Christians come up to me and tell me this a couple of times. I think both times it was something like "God moved me to talk to you" . (Both times were at different jobs, but they weren't as agressive as the fundie I reported on a couple weeks ago.). What's a bit spooky and sad is how they seem to have this air about them as if they're programmed. Were I braver, I'd like to ask Christians: Don't you find it upsetting that the God you worship will supposedly torment forever anyone who isn't saved? That honestly, you don't worship him because you love him, but because you're afraid of him? Or:Don't you think it's cruel for God to condemn Adam and Eve and all of humanity just for eating an apple? And why did he put the tree there to tempt them? That's the saddest part, while there are a lot of christians who are full of shit and use their faith to act superior, there are also the ones who are too terrified to question, for fear of invoking divine wrath. All I know is this: If there is any sort of afterlife, I'm going to help Robert Ingersoll kick the shit out of Jonathan "Sinners in the hands of an Angry God" Edwards for a couple thousand years. Him, and all the other fearmongering bastards have got it coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gobbler Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 "God gave me a word of knowledge about you." "God laid it on my heart to speak to you" (Or pray for you) Why didn't he tell me personally? "You who are my brothers in christ are closer to me than my own brother!" (Before his brother was "saved" of course) "The black race came from Ham after he was cursed for seeing Noah naked and not hiding the shame of his father." From a baptist friend years ago- Her: "What church are you going to now?" Me: "An Assembly of God church." Her: "Oh, well there are some good people there too." As if there weren't "saved" people in other denominations besides baptists! After spending four days in the hospital for a hurt knee after a canoe accident my ex tells me, "God is mad at you for going canoeing on a sunday! That's why he let you get hurt." I respond, "Really? With all the crap goes on in the world god cares whether or not I canoe on a sunday?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonolithTMA Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 After spending four days in the hospital for a hurt knee after a canoe accident my ex tells me, "God is mad at you for going canoeing on a sunday! That's why he let you get hurt." I respond, "Really? With all the crap goes on in the world god cares whether or not I canoe on a sunday?" Did she miss the times Jesus was criticized for doing things on the Sabbath? Isn't it supposed to be a day of rest? Wouldn't going out and enjoying God's creation in a canoe be a good and restful thing? Some of the times I felt closest to God were when I was in nature. I don't think God went to church on the 7th day...he rested. Hell, he probably went canoing too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gobbler Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 After spending four days in the hospital for a hurt knee after a canoe accident my ex tells me, "God is mad at you for going canoeing on a sunday! That's why he let you get hurt." I respond, "Really? With all the crap goes on in the world god cares whether or not I canoe on a sunday?" Did she miss the times Jesus was criticized for doing things on the Sabbath? Isn't it supposed to be a day of rest? Wouldn't going out and enjoying God's creation in a canoe be a good and restful thing? Some of the times I felt closest to God were when I was in nature. I don't think God went to church on the 7th day...he rested. Hell, he probably went canoing too! She was "saved" in the korean church. They are pretty strict about church attendance on sundays. And that is where she thought I should be, in church instead of having fun. I could say that I had fun that day. Yet with a cut knee down to the tendon bleeding like a stuck pig and still had to go twenty miles in bacteria-laden murky water, capsized several times, lost the canoe at one point, fording over downed trees in the river, nearly sucked under a massive tree branch in rapids, it was quite an ordeal! Yea, looking back it was fun! My buddy and I still laugh about it! What else can you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 What would jesus do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knitterman Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 "God gave me a word of knowledge about you." "God laid it on my heart to speak to you" (Or pray for you) Why didn't he tell me personally? Does it never occur to them that talking about you behind your back, even if it is god, it is still GOSSIP. We're supposed to go into our closet and the Father which sees in secret will go blabbing our business all over the church?? Whatever happened to confidentiality? Hmph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?show...c=22406&hl= That thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted March 13, 2008 Super Moderator Share Posted March 13, 2008 Yet with a cut knee down to the tendon bleeding like a stuck pig and still had to go twenty miles in bacteria-laden murky water, capsized several times, lost the canoe at one point, fording over downed trees in the river, nearly sucked under a massive tree branch in rapids, it was quite an ordeal! Yea, looking back it was fun! My buddy and I still laugh about it! What else can you do? Beats the shit out of going to church. - Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted March 13, 2008 Super Moderator Share Posted March 13, 2008 Yet with a cut knee down to the tendon bleeding like a stuck pig and still had to go twenty miles in bacteria-laden murky water, capsized several times, lost the canoe at one point, fording over downed trees in the river, nearly sucked under a massive tree branch in rapids, it was quite an ordeal! Yea, looking back it was fun! My buddy and I still laugh about it! What else can you do? Beats the shit out of going to church. - Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xandermac Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 "You're not an atheist." "You're just running from God." "Satan has his grip on your family." "I'm sorry to see your son has followed the path of satan" "Atheist?" "Where did you get that word?" "You need to get off that computer, its a devil box" I could write a book about the stupid BULLSHIT I've heard just this month! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted March 13, 2008 Super Moderator Share Posted March 13, 2008 "You need to get off that computer, its a devil box" Well, THAT one might be true. - Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Marty Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 My former pastor: "Doubt your doubts." - Chris That's almost as bad as what my confirmation teacher told me once in my classes: "Be careful Marty, because the devil can fool you with logic..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazy-tiger Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 *points gently to FSTDT.com* After spending a couple of years reading the stuff on that site, nothing really surprises me about the crap those dumb fuckers come out with anymore... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonolithTMA Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 After spending four days in the hospital for a hurt knee after a canoe accident my ex tells me, "God is mad at you for going canoeing on a sunday! That's why he let you get hurt." I respond, "Really? With all the crap goes on in the world god cares whether or not I canoe on a sunday?" Did she miss the times Jesus was criticized for doing things on the Sabbath? Isn't it supposed to be a day of rest? Wouldn't going out and enjoying God's creation in a canoe be a good and restful thing? Some of the times I felt closest to God were when I was in nature. I don't think God went to church on the 7th day...he rested. Hell, he probably went canoing too! She was "saved" in the korean church. They are pretty strict about church attendance on sundays. And that is where she thought I should be, in church instead of having fun. I could say that I had fun that day. Yet with a cut knee down to the tendon bleeding like a stuck pig and still had to go twenty miles in bacteria-laden murky water, capsized several times, lost the canoe at one point, fording over downed trees in the river, nearly sucked under a massive tree branch in rapids, it was quite an ordeal! Yea, looking back it was fun! My buddy and I still laugh about it! What else can you do? Sounds awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 "you are nothing but a hater." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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