Jump to content
Goodbye Jesus

Great Quotes Thread


mcdaddy

Recommended Posts

Unconditional love is a characteristic of the Christian faith, such as that demonstrated by

God in the form of a place of eternal torture for

the unsaved.

Anonymous

 

Huh. Torture for the unsaved as unconditional love. . . <scratches her forehead> Why does that quote make me think of S & M?

 

Ooh: KINKY! Spank me baby, and call me a BAD Pagan!

 

The OT sometimes refers to Xians collectively (the Church) as "the bride of Christ." Hosea 2:2-13 and Ezekiel 16:1-42 personify Israel as a naughty wife whom God punishes. The Bible taught me about BDSM--it's dirtier than most people think it is.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh man Lilith: your post just gave me the most disturbing visual in my head! :)

 

Years ago in Los Angeles, I used to have this huge, incredibly hairy boss that was named "Israel." I remember that he was so big, that if someone had just stuck a door in his mouth, he could have been a house; and, he had these really hairy legs, but still insisted on wearing shorts all of the time . . .

 

Now, all I can see is this vision of him, wearing a full gown wedding dress, being spanked for being a naughty bride of christ. Well, that, and in between spanks from his new husband, he keeps looking across the room at me, wiggling his eyebrows, smiling lewdly, and saying his favorite phrase of, "Damn, I'm thirsty and tired! Hey chica, you wanna make me feel better? Then either give me a kiss, or bring me a beer!" :D

 

HEY!!! Wait a minute! It only just now struck me!

 

Years ago, (in my brain-dead days), I had planned on taking religious vows, and "marrying christ" way back when, but. . . it only just now struck me: if you take all of the nuns, all over the world that have supposedly been "married" to him, either over the years, or right now . . .

 

Does that make him--and them--all bigamists??!! Because the guy has had how many thousands of "wives," all at the same time, and all of the wives know about the others. . .

 

WHOAH! Close call! I almost knowingly became a bigamist?!?! :D

 

No! Wait a minute! If he was already dead, when they "married" him doesn't that make them widows? Ewwww, how morbid! How truly bizarre!

 

Aw, shit:: now my head hurts! :eek:

 

<begins laughing hysterically, and falls out of her recliner> :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Note: All Regularly Contributing Patrons enjoy Ex-Christian.net advertisement free.

Do not attempt to live without vanity, since this is impossible, but choose the right audience from which to seek admiration.

Bertrand Russell

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The superstition that used to control me, to limit me, to frighten me, to stifle me, it’s now a punch line to me. It’s the monster in the closet that used to scare me but not anymore. –Seth Andrews.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love this thread. It seems like there is no running out of quotations worth remembering.

ISTL

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jesus died to protect us from his Daddy.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jesus died to protect us from his Daddy.

 

Oh man, I LOVE that quote! It completely tweaked my brain for a second there, when I first read it. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love this thread. It seems like there is no running out of quotations worth remembering.

ISTL

 

Oh, I agree!

 

Can I quote you on that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

It is perfectly absurd for religious moderates to suggest that a rational human being can believe in God simply because this belief makes him happy, relieves his fear of death or gives his life meaning. The absurdity becomes obvious the moment we swap the notion of God for some other consoling proposition: Imagine, for instance, that a man wants to believe that there is a diamond buried somewhere in his yard that is the size of a refrigerator. No doubt it would feel uncommonly good to believe this. Just imagine what would happen if he then followed the example of religious moderates and maintained this belief along pragmatic lines: When asked why he thinks that there is a diamond in his yard that is thousands of times larger than any yet discovered, he says things like, “This belief gives my life meaning,” or “My family and I enjoy digging for it on Sundays,” or “I wouldn’t want to live in a universe where there wasn’t a diamond buried in my backyard that is the size of a refrigerator.” Clearly these responses are inadequate. But they are worse than that. They are the responses of a madman or an idiot.

 

--Sam Harris

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is perfectly absurd for religious moderates to suggest that a rational human being can believe in God simply because this belief makes him happy, relieves his fear of death or gives his life meaning. The absurdity becomes obvious the moment we swap the notion of God for some other consoling proposition: Imagine, for instance, that a man wants to believe that there is a diamond buried somewhere in his yard that is the size of a refrigerator. No doubt it would feel uncommonly good to believe this. Just imagine what would happen if he then followed the example of religious moderates and maintained this belief along pragmatic lines: When asked why he thinks that there is a diamond in his yard that is thousands of times larger than any yet discovered, he says things like, “This belief gives my life meaning,” or “My family and I enjoy digging for it on Sundays,” or “I wouldn’t want to live in a universe where there wasn’t a diamond buried in my backyard that is the size of a refrigerator.” Clearly these responses are inadequate. But they are worse than that. They are the responses of a madman or an idiot.

 

--Sam Harris

 

Good point.

 

He's still an arrogant prick....but still a good point.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

"Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune." Noam Chomsky

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^^^^^good one TF

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

Gloria Steinem

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

“Everything popular is wrong.” Oscar Wilde

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

"If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." Thomas Edison

 

I wonder if I can steal credit for one of Tesla's inventions... silverpenny013Hmmm.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“Adeline had come to Christianity the same way she had come to sex and smoking:through peer pressure.Thinking about her six kids and her smoker's hack, she wondered if perhaps peer pressure didn't always lead to the best habits.”

Christopher Moore, Coyote Blue

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"My God!...think what you are saying. It is too incredible, too monstrous; such things can never be in this quiet world, where men and women live and die, and struggle and conquer, or maybe fail, and fall down under sorrow, and grieve and suffer strange fortunes for many a a year; but not this, Phillips, not such things as this. There must be some explanation, some way out of the terror. Why, man, if such a case were possible, our earth would be a nightmare." - Arthur Machen "The Great God Pan"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This was said by legendary wrestling promoter Jim Cornette. He's an outspoken atheist ,and tells it like it is on politics, wrestling, and religion. Here's what he had to say about Shawn Micheals finding God.

"... you were a fucking asshole and a prick, and if you've found God that's generally because I've noticed people in this business that find God do so when everybody else hates them so bad they won't speak to them. When mortals won't speak to you, you find a higher power."

You can forward the video to 1:40 where he really gets into it.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"When you mix truth with falsehood, you create a more powerful lie." - Ravi Zacharias (yes, he's a Christian apologist... oh, the irony)

 

 

"The truth is that this belief in eternal pain has been the real persecutor. It founded the Inquisition, forged the chains, and furnished the fagots. It has darkened the lives of many millions. It made the cradle as terrible as the coffin." - Robert Ingersoll

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~Thomas Paine

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

"How it may be Lawful and Fitting to use Falsehood as a Medicine, and for the Benefit of those who Want to be Deceived." Saint Jerome, 12th Book Of Evangelical Preparation

 

"It will be necessary sometimes to use falsehood as a remedy for the benefit of those who require such treatment." Saint Eusebius, The Preparation of the Gospel

 

Perhaps absurd quotes like this deserve a separate thread. I'll start one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"There are few things as frustrating in this world as asking a legitimate question to someone who is supposedly an expert and getting back nonsense."

 

--Seth Andrews, The Thinking Atheist

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

On everyday theists calling into The Atheist Experience":

 

"It's kinda like...American Idol where you see people go on there and sing and obviously they never listen to themselves and they thought to themselves 'oh it must be easy'"- Dennis Loubet "And that part of course is the best part of the season" - Russell Glasser

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream. -Malcolm Muggeridge

 

Faith consists of believing what is beyond the power of reason to believe. -Voltaire

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

'War' has got monkey written all over it

-Phil Hellenes

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Everyone does their best thinking in the bathroom. Martin Luther came up with the main premise for Protestant Christianity while sitting on the toilet in the monastary at Wittenburg... and well all know what a huge movement that ended up becoming."

~ Anton LaVey

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.