Why Are Some Men Deranged. I Would Prefer A World With Women In Charge

[Castiel233]

Castiel, I see your point, but women running everything? I'd have to give it more thought. Here's a bit of ammunition for your argument though. A friend and I were both at home on the phone and also online. We went to craigslist 'services erotic' and browsed. We went through men seeking women, women seeking men, then went to women seeking women and only read ads that had pics. All of the women seeking women ads were tasteful such as a picture of a lady playing cards and smiling or a lady washing dishes. The ads went basically like this for all of the woman seeking woman ads, "let's get together for an evening of movies and restaurants, if we hit it off, possibly an intimate evening". Then we dared to go to 'men seeking men', ALL of the ads were the same, a picture of a guy, naked, showing from waist to knees, sometimes holding themselves, asking "is this what you want?" or "I've got a big load for you". I guess men do tend to be a bit crude in this aspect at least

Excellent post and totally agree

[rach]

 

Thanks rach for your supportive words and getting the gist at what I wrote 

 

No woman has ever before made me cower in fear for my personal safety.  Plenty of men have!  I've had too many sad encounters with men with explosive tempers, and men who think they are entitled to anyone and anything they want if they are just strong enough to take it by force.  I do appreciate men in many ways and I do turn to men again and again for their problem-solving abilities and rational thinking which have helped me on many occasions because I get too emotional about things to think critically.  But men never seem to outgrow the "my dick is bigger than yours" stage and that leads to all manner of trouble.

[gall]

Anyone else. I'd like to read actual sensible and informed answers 

 

I would like to see less stereo types and loaded questions but do we all get our way?

 

Not all of us are deranged as you put it.

 

I am caring, generous, a friend, a lover and I give a strong flying fuck about those around me. I work for a hospital and I try and help others here as often as I can.

 

Sexist nonsense, plain and simple. There are deranged men and there are deranged women. It is wrong to generalize either gender.

 

This I agree with.

 

stop classing us off and try and see humans first. Our sexual organs mean nothing really. All people have choices and it seems you made the choice to start a fight that there is no winner in and never can be.

 

Compromise is the key to our races survival not one side of the gender controlling anything.

 

Women can do anything men can that I have seen including act deranged.

 

This thread is a waste of time and just bait for a needless argument.

[Castiel233]

 

Anyone else. I'd like to read actual sensible and informed answers 

 

I would like to see less stereo types and loaded questions but do we all get our way?

 

Not all of us are deranged as you put it.

 

I am caring, generous, a friend, a lover and I give a strong flying fuck about those around me. I work for a hospital and I try and help others here as often as I can.

 

Sexist nonsense, plain and simple. There are deranged men and there are deranged women. It is wrong to generalize either gender.

 

This I agree with.

 

stop classing us off and try and see humans first. Our sexual organs mean nothing really. All people have choices and it seems you made the choice to start a fight that there is no winner in and never can be.

 

Compromise is the key to our races survival not one side of the gender controlling anything.

 

Women can do anything men can that I have seen including act deranged.

 

This thread is a waste of time and just bait for a needless argument.

 

 

 

 I never put "all men are deranged", so where you got that from I don't know...

 

Calling my post a "waste of time" and "bait for needless argument " and then posting on it seems odd

 

 The gist of my  OP seems to be lost on some of you as I am basing it on my observations on "some" men I have witnessed. I will state as clearly as I can, that I have never seen women act in such crass manners as I have seen men.

 

Lastly, implying I am sexist (or agreeing with another's view on it) is bizarre  as I clearly deplore the sexiest and predatory behavior of some men towards women .

[Castiel233]

 

" there's the whole macho bullshit having to compete with and show everyone I'm the alpha male crap".

 

Describes one of my current co-workers to a T

[Bluechipx]

It would be interesting to see how the many wars of history would have went if women were in charge, I'm thinking waaaay different, but I'm not sure that is a good or bad thing. Let's say there was a prison camp run by hot women and I was to be executed, I may ask "before you put me to death, is there anything you me to do for you, or to you?" 

[RankStranger]

 

 

 

Why is everybody getting their parties in a bunch about this thread anyway? Men are on average FAR more aggressive and violent than women- violent crimes are overwhelmingly perpetrated by men. It's an inescapable fact- and I see no reason to believe that such tendencies wouldn't bleed over into all kinds of other behaviors that aren't necessarily criminal or directly violent.

Maybe the OP wasn't as circumspect as some would prefer... but it's a valid question. And while I personally think physiology explains a lot of it- culture definitely plays a role. Men aren't as violent as us Americans in a lot of countries. And they're far more violent in lots of countries.

 

The issue wasn't the claims of violence.  That's clearly backed up by evidence.  The issue was he chose to focus on the worst possible experiences he's had with men and then make sweeping judgements about an entire gender.  His use of the word some was cancelled out by the title of the thread. 

 

Prejudice is something that always pisses me off.  That's who I am as it strikes against my core values.

I guess prejudice and generalizations have never been a huge problem for me. To me, it's just how the human mind works. Now granted if said prejudices are wrong and especially if they're hurting people, I'm all for challenging them.

 

But we all make generalizations all day every day. We LIVE by them. So personally I can't really work up much indignation unless said generalization is both untrue and harmful. And even then I think most people are pretty selective about which ones they get indignant over.

 

 

It is harmful.  Look at what countries like Sweden are doing.  You practically need to sign a written contract before engaging in sex over there for fear of being charged with rape.  And now just being a man (as in behaving like one) is something we have to apologize for.  'Good' seems to equate to acting more feminine than masculine. 

 

 

I don't entirely disagree.  But we're a long LONG way from that here in the U.S.

 

Personally I'm not apologizing for male behavior- but I am willing to acknowledge it.  We men are a bunch of aggressive apes- it's pretty well a quantifiable fact.  

[florduh]

This thread is a waste of time and just bait for a needless argument.

 

 

QFMFT.

 

But then, that's what people mostly do around here.

[Vigile]

Meh, I don't buy the generalization that we're just a bunch of aggressive apes.  Boys in HS and in the mechanics shop (no offense), maybe, but for every act of aggression, I can raise you hundreds of loving and kind fathers and husbands and sons and brothers.

[BrotherJosh]

I would rather just focus on the positives of either gender.

 

[◊ crazyguy123 ◊]

Personally, I'd rather live in a world where no one is deranged and there is no reason for anyone to be in charge. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen.

 

Even if women suddenly were in charge of the world, we'd find that many of them are just as corrupt, violent, or crazy as their male counterparts are.

[midniterider]

 

 

Anyone else. I'd like to read actual sensible and informed answers 

 

I would like to see less stereo types and loaded questions but do we all get our way?

 

Not all of us are deranged as you put it.

 

I am caring, generous, a friend, a lover and I give a strong flying fuck about those around me. I work for a hospital and I try and help others here as often as I can.

 

Sexist nonsense, plain and simple. There are deranged men and there are deranged women. It is wrong to generalize either gender.

 

This I agree with.

 

stop classing us off and try and see humans first. Our sexual organs mean nothing really. All people have choices and it seems you made the choice to start a fight that there is no winner in and never can be.

 

Compromise is the key to our races survival not one side of the gender controlling anything.

 

Women can do anything men can that I have seen including act deranged.

 

This thread is a waste of time and just bait for a needless argument.

 

 

 

 I never put "all men are deranged", so where you got that from I don't know...

 

Calling my post a "waste of time" and "bait for needless argument " and then posting on it seems odd

 

 The gist of my  OP seems to be lost on some of you as I am basing it on my observations on "some" men I have witnessed. I will state as clearly as I can, that I have never seen women act in such crass manners as I have seen men.

 

Lastly, implying I am sexist (or agreeing with another's view on it) is bizarre  as I clearly deplore the sexiest and predatory behavior of some men towards women .

 

 

So if only 'some' men have acted in a crass manner, why do we need to replace them 'all' with women? Can't we just measure people's worth by their work performance? 

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Yates

 

http://listverse.com/2012/12/29/10-american-female-serial-killers/

 

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/460712/Is-this-the-world-s-worst-serial-killer-Miranda-Barbour-reveals-where-her-victims-lay

 

These women seem to have acted in a pretty crass manner... but not any worse than male serial killers.

 

------------

 

Women who had led revolts or rebellions:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_women_who_led_a_revolt_or_rebellion

 

(Starting a war isn't necessarily a bad thing though)

[RipVanWinkle]

I've seen enough of women lawyers to know that they are no better than men when in charge. Of course they would really have to make up a lot of time to catch up with the likes of Hitler, Stalin, etc. bill

[Thurisaz]

Give enough women the chance to rise to supreme power in a totalitarian style and I'm sure a female hitler or stalin won't be long to appear. Power corrupts, whether the "victim" is male or female doesn't matter. It's just that the idea of seriously pushing toward gender equality isn't that old yet... not many chances for she-dictators so to evolve so far.

[gall]

Give enough women the chance to rise to supreme power in a totalitarian style and I'm sure a female hitler or stalin won't be long to appear. Power corrupts, whether the "victim" is male or female doesn't matter. It's just that the idea of seriously pushing toward gender equality isn't that old yet... not many chances for she-dictators so to evolve so far.

 

No person seeking power is trustworthy to wield it.

 

Only those that unwillingly have power thrust upon them and rise to the challenge to lead will ever really truly be worthy of leadership.

 

I don't trust anyone that says I have a plan to make it better for you. I trust those that say we have a chance to make it better together, will you help me?

 

 

 

It is only together as a group that our problems will be solved including problems stemming from power and leadership.

[midniterider]

Give enough women the chance to rise to supreme power in a totalitarian style and I'm sure a female hitler or stalin won't be long to appear. Power corrupts, whether the "victim" is male or female doesn't matter. It's just that the idea of seriously pushing toward gender equality isn't that old yet... not many chances for she-dictators so to evolve so far.

 

The world would be so much better if only .....

 

Yeah , right. ha.

[moanareina]

I just thought about this while I am thinking through my experience with sociopathic guys. Somehow judging from my experience with men I could easily conclude that men are deranged. Now...while those men I have met clearly are deranged...does that mean all men are? Or is it just that for some reason I crossed paths with the men that are deranged because that is how I learnt men to be. Because my dad has been a weird guy with psychopathic traits and my mom has been somewhat narcissist. Growing up with parents that are not normal but experiencing it as normal I subconsciously feel drawn to deranged people even though they are no good to me...and therefore have this encounters that confirm to me that men are deranged. This is just a thought I had because I also just watched a documentary about a psychopath and they mentioned that they had done a survey where they showed various psychopaths video sequences of people walking down an alley. Those guys could spot those who have been victims of violence, rape or whatever in the past right away, just by the way they walk. And that is how they chose their victim. I thought that was quite interesting.

[mymistake]

I just thought about this while I am thinking through my experience with sociopathic guys. Somehow judging from my experience with men I could easily conclude that men are deranged. Now...while those men I have met clearly are deranged...does that mean all men are? Or is it just that for some reason I crossed paths with the men that are deranged because that is how I learnt men to be. Because my dad has been a weird guy with psychopathic traits and my mom has been somewhat narcissist. Growing up with parents that are not normal but experiencing it as normal I subconsciously feel drawn to deranged people even though they are no good to me...and therefore have this encounters that confirm to me that men are deranged. This is just a thought I had because I also just watched a documentary about a psychopath and they mentioned that they had done a survey where they showed various psychopaths video sequences of people walking down an alley. Those guys could spot those who have been victims of violence, rape or whatever in the past right away, just by the way they walk. And that is how they chose their victim. I thought that was quite interesting.

 

If all men were deranged then humans would still be living in caves because we couldn't get anything done.

 

Also I would say deranged and psychopathic are very different things.  Psychopathic has to do with not feeling guilty for using people.  A psychopath treats others as something to use.  Deranged is being ruled by emotions and being very aggressive at the same time.  Deranged is loud and easy to spot.  A psychopath can be absolutely charming if that is part of the scam.

[moanareina]

I guess my point somehow got lost in translation...

 

What I tried to point to was that I as a woman can easy judge men as deranged due to my experience with them. Now the guys I have dated and most other experiences with them had some psychopathic aspects and those guys where looking to use me in whatever way. At that point I had not really looked into the topic of psychopathy and could just take it as deranged. So due to my experience I could come up with the conclusion that most or men in general where deranged. But is that the reality? It might be the reality I know because it happened to me to meet those guys. The question would be, why did I meet them. Not that I want to say I am responsible for their behavior. But it is possible to be my experience because somehow I attracted that kind of people. Just a thought.

[Thurisaz]

At risk of kickstarting another shitstorm, methinks there's at least one more thing to consider...

 

...when you make a list of do's and don't's, like those lists for men compiled by women (that's very simplified here for sake of brevity, don't take me too literally), who's most likely to adhere to those points? The respectful, the "good" people. It won't be true in every single case of course but really... I wonder just how often the reason for a woman's experience "all men are assholes" is simply "only the assholes don't play by the rules, that's why they're in-your-face all the time".

 

At least in theory that goes the other way round too, though at least for Germany I'm not aware of any such "lists" that German women might be expected to adhere to. Matter of perspective probably.

[rach]

 because I also just watched a documentary about a psychopath and they mentioned that they had done a survey where they showed various psychopaths video sequences of people walking down an alley. Those guys could spot those who have been victims of violence, rape or whatever in the past right away, just by the way they walk. And that is how they chose their victim.

Horrifying.  Like they have some kind of radar.  Why did they choose the ones who were victimized before?  Is it because they thought they couldn't fight back as well?

[gall]

 

 because I also just watched a documentary about a psychopath and they mentioned that they had done a survey where they showed various psychopaths video sequences of people walking down an alley. Those guys could spot those who have been victims of violence, rape or whatever in the past right away, just by the way they walk. And that is how they chose their victim.

Horrifying.  Like they have some kind of radar.  Why did they choose the ones who were victimized before?  Is it because they thought they couldn't fight back as well?

 

 

None of you really see what is going on here? really?

 

This is classic predator/prey activity. At least in animals which is where I would recognize this description from. Predators recognize their prey. It is that simple. We see ourselves as so evovled compared to all other life and in many ways we are, however there is still a lot going on in the mind that we don't understand and may never in our lifetimes.

 

This is no excuse for that sort of behavior in anyway. It is not acceptable in our society and for good reason. We all have the right not to be violated.

 

That radar is in some I think (and this is just some theory of mine) is a tapping in of age old instinct that we once followed closer to that of an animal in which rape was the only way we procreated. I am glad we are not living in caves anymore.

 

 

Stereotyping one half of you gender usually works out badly for all involved at least in context to certain statements made in this thread not to this quoted post.

[moanareina]

 

 because I also just watched a documentary about a psychopath and they mentioned that they had done a survey where they showed various psychopaths video sequences of people walking down an alley. Those guys could spot those who have been victims of violence, rape or whatever in the past right away, just by the way they walk. And that is how they chose their victim.

Horrifying.  Like they have some kind of radar.  Why did they choose the ones who were victimized before?  Is it because they thought they couldn't fight back as well?

 

 

Because they need someone they can control. And a victimized person will most likely play that game. It is an easy target. The victim might not even see how it is a victim. That's the kick of it. To control someone, to suck all the energy out of that person, to feed on her. They want someone who admires them, who puts them on a pedestal. I remember while dating this psychopath guy last year, there was this other girl who was in a relationship with him. I did not know back then, assumed her to be just a friend or so. She liked every post he made on facebook no matter how dumb it was. Really. I think he realized that I was not that kind of person and therefore tried to find a way to get rid of me even though he had some control. Now he had not all of it and that was unfortunate for him...because he would not get what he was looking for.

 

With someone who has a healthy sense of self it is hard to play those kind of games. Because they are just not playing it.

 

It is as gall is putting it, the predator is always looking for the weak...the victim that is easy to catch. When a lion hunts for antelopes he spends much time in observing the herd to find out the ones who are weak and easy to catch. Because even though he has great strength, he can only run for so long and needs to save his energy.

 

And yes gall, stereotyping is not the way to go for either gender...I hate being stereotyped as well but when I hear guys talking about women I can see how those stereotypes run deep. It goes both ways.

[gall]

 

 

 because I also just watched a documentary about a psychopath and they mentioned that they had done a survey where they showed various psychopaths video sequences of people walking down an alley. Those guys could spot those who have been victims of violence, rape or whatever in the past right away, just by the way they walk. And that is how they chose their victim.

Horrifying.  Like they have some kind of radar.  Why did they choose the ones who were victimized before?  Is it because they thought they couldn't fight back as well?

 

 

Because they need someone they can control. And a victimized person will most likely play that game. It is an easy target. The victim might not even see how it is a victim. That's the kick of it. To control someone, to suck all the energy out of that person, to feed on her. They want someone who admires them, who puts them on a pedestal. I remember while dating this psychopath guy last year, there was this other girl who was in a relationship with him. I did not know back then, assumed her to be just a friend or so. She liked every post he made on facebook no matter how dumb it was. Really. I think he realized that I was not that kind of person and therefore tried to find a way to get rid of me even though he had some control. Now he had not all of it and that was unfortunate for him...because he would not get what he was looking for.

 

With someone who has a healthy sense of self it is hard to play those kind of games. Because they are just not playing it.

 

It is as gall is putting it, the predator is always looking for the weak...the victim that is easy to catch. When a lion hunts for antelopes he spends much time in observing the herd to find out the ones who are weak and easy to catch. Because even though he has great strength, he can only run for so long and needs to save his energy.

 

And yes gall, stereotyping is not the way to go for either gender...I hate being stereotyped as well but when I hear guys talking about women I can see how those stereotypes run deep. It goes both ways.

 

 

I could say the same for most women I meet and see at work, and I work with 22000 other people mostly female. Being in IT I am often overlooked and ignored while they all talk away at their desks and stations. They are not nice when men are not around most of them. they are just as predetory as any man I ever hear. I try and just ignore it but many of them are the greediest most calous assholes I have ever had to listen to. I stay right the hell out of it. Most of them are nurses by the way. I really hope I don't spend much time in hospitals around here as a patient lets just put it that way.

 

the idea of the "locker room" talking goes both ways and women are just as nasty so can we just stop using the term man woman and just call it what it is, a human problem.

[moanareina]

As I said the stereotypes run deep and it goes both ways.

 

And I just try to avoid those kind of talks. And people if possible. And be myself. The perfect anti stereotype...and maybe some will note.

 

I once signed up for a marketing company who does surveys where you get payed for it. I never make it into their interviews because I never fit their profile...I find it fun every time they call. I find it fun that they even call me still. Usually it takes two questions to exclude me and then there will be asked a third and fourth just because they can not understand how I was not in their group of interest at all.