Pariah Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 I personally hate the "Are you a good person? No. Therefore believe that God exists" argument. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkepticOfBible Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 The Kirk Cameron method has a lot of potential for parody. Have you ever starred on a stupid TV show with Alan Thicke? Then you are an idiot with no credibility! I never saw "Way of the master". How was it and what was it about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asimov Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 Jesus-Lite, by far, is the worst method of witnessing I've ever seen. They try and scrape away the miraculous part of Jesus and establish that he existed as a historical person and then hit you with the "now do you accept Jesus?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 First off, worst as defined as a waste of time witnessing: any directed at me. Worst as in it tends to antagonize me: (once they find out that I am better versed in their theology than they are, having been a Xtian) "I feel so sorry for you, what could have hurt you so much?" Seems they can't accept reason (though they will listen to it...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 The Kirk Cameron method has a lot of potential for parody. Have you ever starred on a stupid TV show with Alan Thicke? Then you are an idiot with no credibility! I actually thought Kirk was okay until LEFT BEHIND came out. Then I was like, "Oh Kirk, you're one of them... gosh, I'm sorry." Poor sad Kirk. I saw a "True Hollywood Special" about "Growing Pains" and the whole cast was telling how Kirk was a great guy until he became all Born Again. He instantly turned into an asshole and made the set miserable. He wouldn't have anything to do with anyone who wasn't good enough for his little Jesus. Taph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 I saw a "True Hollywood Special" about "Growing Pains" and the whole cast was telling how Kirk was a great guy until he became all Born Again. He instantly turned into an asshole and made the set miserable. He wouldn't have anything to do with anyone who wasn't good enough for his little Jesus. Taph Yeah - I just did a search and found his website. I checked out the link for his ministry (still having a hard time coping with the fact someone whose tv show I liked during the 80s is a cult zombie) and, hoo boy, it's definitely asshole time. There was an intro paragraph about how horrible it would be for your mother or father or friend, etc, to die without Christ, therefore you should be an asshole, too, trying to "witness" to them. I x'd the window out after that; that was enough. And that is another pet peeve of mine, decent and tolerable folks who turn born-again and become instant pricks for their cult. It really is frustrating; makes you wonder just how gullible they are to get sucked in after being on the outside for so long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 I hate false witnessing. Jesus can change your life. Jesus brings purpose and meaning. You can find fulfillment with Jesus. His spirit will come into you and give you power over sin. You'll have joy like you've never known. A life of destiny. God has a purpose for your life. Then you get into the bible, and try to start living it. And you look at the lives of all of the born-agains who surround you, and it's all a load. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 And here's one for Old Kirk... "Have you ever done any bad acting. Then you are a bad actor!" LOL! The only gigs that guy can get are crappy Left Behind movies and Growing Pains reunions. Kirk Cameron is a growing pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxy Methoxy Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 And here's one for Old Kirk... "Have you ever done any bad acting. Then you are a bad actor!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KalEl Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 I ask the Lord to guide me in to what to say when witnessing to others. It can be as simple as just repeating the gospel, or bringing on the "Kirk Cameron method". The Holy Spirit will lead me to what to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 I ask the Lord to guide me in to what to say when witnessing to others. It can be as simple as just repeating the gospel, or bringing on the "Kirk Cameron method". The Holy Spirit will lead me to what to say. But the Spirit doesn't. Otherwise, everyone would be a convert for this Spirit would be all-knowing, and hence know what to say. You'd have the right words put into your mouth each time - if you don't, then wouldn't it seem that your god is playing games with the souls of his creations which he claims to love so much? Xianity is full of illogicalities - and full of shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poonis Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 The worst method of witnessing is done by the one who thinks he knows Absolute Truth because he is a True Christian. ...basically myself when I was a christian. *shudders at the thought* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 The worst method of witnessing is done by the one who thinks he knows Absolute Truth because he is a True Christian. ...basically myself when I was a christian. *shudders at the thought* Ditto, that - been there, too. Blechhh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 I think the worst kind of witnessing is the kind where they open their mouth and start in the first place. I mean really. Just shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear ANY of it. Don't give me any fucking pamphlets, don't give me any fucking line about Jesus this or Jesus that or I'm a liar or whatnot, just SHUT... UP. Honestly. If anybody wants to be a good witness to anything, they need to act. They need to live what they'd otherwise preach. Because y'know? I'm paying attention. Close attention. Live a virtuous, honest life, and that'll speak way more volumes than irritating me by showing up on my front porch one morning and telling me how to live. Witnessing in general is annoying. But I will say that missionary dating and the whole "love bombing" thing has been the most damaging, in a deep and personal way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KalEl Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 I think the worst kind of witnessing is the kind where they open their mouth and start in the first place. I mean really. Just shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear ANY of it. Don't give me any fucking pamphlets, don't give me any fucking line about Jesus this or Jesus that or I'm a liar or whatnot, just SHUT... UP. Honestly. If anybody wants to be a good witness to anything, they need to act. They need to live what they'd otherwise preach. Because y'know? I'm paying attention. Close attention. Live a virtuous, honest life, and that'll speak way more volumes than irritating me by showing up on my front porch one morning and telling me how to live. Witnessing in general is annoying. But I will say that missionary dating and the whole "love bombing" thing has been the most damaging, in a deep and personal way... Don't worry, I still love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eponymic Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Honestly. If anybody wants to be a good witness to anything, they need to act. They need to live what they'd otherwise preach. Because y'know? I'm paying attention. Close attention. Live a virtuous, honest life, and that'll speak way more volumes than irritating me by showing up on my front porch one morning and telling me how to live. True, witnessing is more akin to propaganda, brainwashing, and force feeding. You can rarely force a person into believing something, they have to be willing to believe it. There's a reason we don't force our beliefs on others. And don't say that we are just because you're getting our opinions on our website. You came into our playground, so you have to expect it. There's also a reason that the majority of converted people are those who have problems, or are of weak constitution. (and I wish there was a study done on this, but I'm merely talking from life experience & what I've learned from others here.) Think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Jesus can change your life. Jesus brings purpose and meaning. You can find fulfillment with Jesus. His spirit will come into you and give you power over sin. You'll have joy like you've never known. A life of destiny. God has a purpose for your life. Gah, we have commercials out here for some St. Louis superchurch that go like that. Some white pastor guy sitting in a blank white set with nothing but a chair or a stool and a fake window. I can only remember one of his irritating lines by heart - "Have you ever wanted to have a second chance? With Jesus you can......." God, I HATE that!!! Like believing in Jesus just makes all your problems float away. What about all those people who converted FROM Christianity to Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, etc. and came to find inner peace? "Those religions are Satan. Those people are just deluded by Satan into believing they've found inner peace. We should pray for them!" Oh, fuck you. And let's not forget "You just think you're happy. You're not really happy until you have Jesus in your heart." It just makes gullible, depressed, and lonely people believe that if they go to this super-Astrodome church they'll never be depressed or lonely again, all their problems will disappear, and they'll be loved and cared for until the end of time. Oh, wait. You don't give 10% of your waitressing tips to the Church because you need to "pay rent"? Sinner. Fuck off. We don't want you here. I can't write about it any more, it's literally making me sick and getting me angrier and angrier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazy-tiger Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Don't worry, I still love you. Didn't God say that kind of thing just before he flooded the world? Won't he say that just before he condemns 99% of the human race to eternal torture? With that kind of love, who needs hate...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnosis of Disbelief Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Don't worry, I still love you. And, besides Your Imaginary Friend, who the fuck cares? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Jesus can change your life. Jesus brings purpose and meaning. You can find fulfillment with Jesus. His spirit will come into you and give you power over sin. You'll have joy like you've never known. A life of destiny. God has a purpose for your life. Gah, we have commercials out here for some St. Louis superchurch that go like that. Some white pastor guy sitting in a blank white set with nothing but a chair or a stool and a fake window. I can only remember one of his irritating lines by heart - "Have you ever wanted to have a second chance? With Jesus you can......." God, I HATE that!!! Like believing in Jesus just makes all your problems float away. What about all those people who converted FROM Christianity to Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, etc. and came to find inner peace? "Those religions are Satan. Those people are just deluded by Satan into believing they've found inner peace. We should pray for them!" Oh, fuck you. And let's not forget "You just think you're happy. You're not really happy until you have Jesus in your heart." It just makes gullible, depressed, and lonely people believe that if they go to this super-Astrodome church they'll never be depressed or lonely again, all their problems will disappear, and they'll be loved and cared for until the end of time. Oh, wait. You don't give 10% of your waitressing tips to the Church because you need to "pay rent"? Sinner. Fuck off. We don't want you here. I can't write about it any more, it's literally making me sick and getting me angrier and angrier. I hear you. Like Jesus™ is the answer to everything, the end-all and be-all to human existence - even though, if he truly were, he'd have existed always, before the Garden of Eden, contrary to Babblical teachings. Feeling down? Add some Jesus™ to your heart! You'll be perky in no time! Money problems? Let Jesus™ into your life and with his Magical Xian Babblical Financial System™ you'll be out of debt and tithing in no time! Addicted to a substance? Just sprinkle some Jesus™ on your soul and your only addiction will be HIM! Lonely? Just invite maximum-strength Jesus™ into your life and you won't even miss real people! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 When I witness, it is usually to people that I know fairly well, or at least by sight and reputation. Everybody at school knows that I am a Christian - if not a particularly outspoken one - and I've realized that my actions speak a lot louder than my words, and lead to opportunities to share my faith with people as they come to trust me. I know there is a right way and a wrong way to evangelize. Witnessing should always be done prayerfully, keeping 1 Peter 3:15-16 in mind: "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." A disciple of Jesus Christ should act in such a way as to be beyond reproof, without shame in all things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asuryan Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 The worst method of witnessing I know? Of course, the italian catholic method! Witnessing without witnessing. Or you could call it the brainwashing method. When you are born you automatically are a catholic because they baptize you at about 7 days old. You grow up celebrating catholic holidays, your parents and everybody around you TEACH you that you are a catholic, in public schools you, well, just *have* to attend Catholic Hour where they teach you about the lord jesus and parables and nice cute stories like cute animals inside arks, you won't ever see a bible so no chance of checking the facts and parables yourself, just the crippled, honey sweet little stories of the children biblical books, with looots of nice nice drawings. This is the worst witnessing method I know. With usual american witnessing, there is a chance for the listener to use her brain and detect bullshitting. Here there is no chance. When I see movies and pictures of street preachers in america I am totally astounded each and every time, because I know that such a thing would (could) never happen here. What is there to preach if 99% of the country is officially catholic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narcissist Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 The worst kind of witnessing I've come across is Christians who log onto ex-christian websites and spray their hypocritical bullshit that we've all heard before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poonis Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 I hear you. Like Jesus™ is the answer to everything, the end-all and be-all to human existence - even though, if he truly were, he'd have existed always, before the Garden of Eden, contrary to Babblical teachings. Feeling down? Add some Jesus™ to your heart! You'll be perky in no time! Money problems? Let Jesus™ into your life and with his Magical Xian Babblical Financial System™ you'll be out of debt and tithing in no time! Addicted to a substance? Just sprinkle some Jesus™ on your soul and your only addiction will be HIM! Lonely? Just invite maximum-strength Jesus™ into your life and you won't even miss real people! I remember when I had Jesus 1.0, I kept waiting for Jesus 2.0. But since 2.0 has been in the works for over 2 millenia, i thought it was time to let vaporware be vaporware. Ironically, I gave up on Jesus 2.0 about the same time I quit waiting for Duke Nukem Forever to come out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 I think the absolute worst method of witnessing is when they use Christian Urban Legends to witness. To name a few: Ron Wyatt Soviets drilling a hole in the Earth and finding Hell. Darwin's deathbed confession. The Beast of Belgium Taph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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