JGJ@ReligionisBullshit Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 All the Earthlink commercials, and the commercial that starts with that foreign woman asking "Do you ever think that you might have worms?" The Sci-Fi channels If commercials, especially the one where the guy who turns the chihuahua into a balloon animal by putting his lips to the dogs arse and blowing. And of course the Ditech.com commercials, any commercial with that yelling bearded bastard who does the Oxyclean commercials, all the men's baldness commercials, any commercials where you have to laugh at the fine print they throw up there to say that they are full of shite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All Gods Fail Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 I know not of these 'commercials' of which you speak, for I have a Replay TV (the DVR loser to Tivo) that automatically skips them. I haven't seen one in years. Seriously. Someone will do a punchline to a recent commercial and I'll be like, "Huh?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 I really can't stand the fucking basketball player that tries to sell you a computer for a full minute on the discovery channel. He just babbles about 'performance' and how you need to be at your best... And they pass the friggin ad probably 6 times per hour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Broke Free Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 I'm creeped by the king. He's scaaary. I could not agree more. Every time they show the ‘king’ his face totally creeps me out. That face is downright frightening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaoi Huntress Earth Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 I'd have to disagree here. What they are saying instead is "take one hit and you'll be retarded". Have you seen the one with the kid racing the lumber yard dog? And while I'm on the subject of "anti" commercials, I'd personally like to take whoever is responsible for the "truth" anti-smoking commericials and smack them around for an hour or so. "Truth", yeah right... Those Truth commercials just reck of self-rightousness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaoi Huntress Earth Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 -Those penis-enhancement commericals with that creepy guy, Bob, with this big fake smile that would give the Joker nightmares. I'm so glad they got rid of those. -I don't think they show these anymore, but there was this anti-abortion commerical with this black woman on it that went something like this... Black Chick: There are people out there who want to make abortion legal. My people have had choices made for them for them 200 years ago. And now some doctor tells me it's my choice to do what I want with my body. I don't think so. Think about it. It's like she's saying that she believes that she doesn't want to have choices and have some bigwig tell her what to do again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 I hate those regional ads for car dealerships, real estate offices, RV dealerships, exercise clubs, or furniture discount stores. You know, the ones where the guy is talking REALLY LOUD and really fast in voiceover, and they show you the inside of the stupid furniture warehouse and all the crap in there is so utterly tacky you'd never buy it, and all the typefaces are in yellow and white so you can't really see them, and they use about ten different fonts and all kinds of bullet points and star-shaped callouts and flashing bright red shit that probably gives every epileptic for 3 states around a fucking seizure. It's like they must all be designed by the same guy, sitting in his basement with a Windoze 98 machine, thinking he's a hot shit designer because he can use BIG FONTS and STRIKETHROUGHS and get all fancy and shit with typefaces in all sorts of fucking unreadable bright pretty colors!!!! Oh yeah, and let's not forget to use COMIC SANS and lots of !!!!!!!'s too!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucking design hooligans. I am glad I am not the only one that HATES the comic sans font! It's hideous and amateur. -Those penis-enhancement commericals with that creepy guy, Bob, with this big fake smile that would give the Joker nightmares. I'm so glad they got rid of those. -I don't think they show these anymore, but there was this anti-abortion commerical with this black woman on it that went something like this... Black Chick: There are people out there who want to make abortion legal. My people have had choices made for them for them 200 years ago. And now some doctor tells me it's my choice to do what I want with my body. I don't think so. Think about it. It's like she's saying that she believes that she doesn't want to have choices and have some bigwig tell her what to do again. Wow... what an awfully done commercial. I wonder if it got any protest from the African American community. I would be interested to see the rest of the commercial... is that all she says? What exactly are we supposed to be "thinking" about? -Those penis-enhancement commericals with that creepy guy, Bob, with this big fake smile that would give the Joker nightmares. I'm so glad they got rid of those. -I don't think they show these anymore, but there was this anti-abortion commerical with this black woman on it that went something like this... Black Chick: There are people out there who want to make abortion legal. My people have had choices made for them for them 200 years ago. And now some doctor tells me it's my choice to do what I want with my body. I don't think so. Think about it. It's like she's saying that she believes that she doesn't want to have choices and have some bigwig tell her what to do again. My husband and I laugh hysterically whenever we see one of those commercials and the similar ones about marijuana... how ridiculous. Yeah, some drugs are bad some of the time.... but come on.... I am so sick of the Drug War. Thank you, Ms. Reagan (or was it Bush I?). sonofspong... I hate the military commercials too. They are incredibly manipulative... liked to play with planes when you were a kid? Then join the army! You'll get to play with real ones! Of course they don't mention that you would be responsible for dropping bombs on possibly innocent people as well. Ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Oh and another thing - the Geico gecko. I want to take that abomination and crush it in my hand, then slam it on the ground and stomp it until there's nothing left. Then I want to slap the person who came up with the idea of it. Then I'll say to him, "but I have good news, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!" and slap whoever made that abomination as well! I don't like the Geico gecko because every time I tell someone I have a gecko, they have to make stupid jokes like "does it sell car insurance?" Those jokes get old really fast, let me tell you. And of course, they assume it's green. Not all geckos are green. Mine is brown with spots. Any commercial that involves some "fast, easy way to lose weight". I can tell you now that its absolute bullshit. As a former fat guy, I know from experience that there is nothing "fast" or "easy" about losing more than 20 pounds, and keeping it off. If it was that simple, everyone would look like brad pitt and angelina joliee. Ditto. It's taken me a MONTH to lose 5 pounds the old-fashioned way (keeping track of calories and exercising). I refuse to take diet pills, hoodia, or Slimfast or anything remotely like that. Stuff like that doesn't resolve the underlying problem, which is estimating portion sizes correctly and exercising more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Broke Free Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 -Those penis-enhancement commericals with that creepy guy, Bob, with this big fake smile that would give the Joker nightmares. I'm so glad they got rid of those. Creepy Bob with his moronic smile and engorged appendage did leave for awhile, but I saw Bob back again on TV last night! His wife looked as happy as ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
queenie Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 So glad to see I'm not the only one who is totally creeped out by the Burger King dude. Especially one of the first ones where he was standing outside that kid's window just waiting...to what? Molest him? Be his monster in the closet? *shivers* My family takes great pleasure in making fun of my ick factor with him, but damn...who thought that guy up?? I'm in agreement with a lot of the commercials listed already. The manipulative military ones, the overdone gecko. Another one we see here constantly is DiTech. "Lost another one to DiTech!" *smack* And then, there's an old one that's resurfaced. And I'm not sure what's more stupid, the commercial itself or how much it irritates me. It's for Jif peanut butter of all things. Two girls are having a sleepover and one is homesick. What does the host girl do? Leaves the homesick girl alone in her bedroom while she goes to whip up some peanut butter sandwiches. First, this thing is so old, the actresses are probably in college by now. Second, well, it's dumb. It's dumber that I yell at the TV every time it comes on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Oh yeah, the stupid DiTech ads. I hate those too. That actor needs to find himself a new gig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaoi Huntress Earth Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Wow... what an awfully done commercial. I wonder if it got any protest from the African American community. I would be interested to see the rest of the commercial... is that all she says? What exactly are we supposed to be "thinking" about? That's pretty much the entire commerical. I know what you mean about the military commericals. They make it sound like some fun action movie where you'll be set for life after you serve your time. War is ugly. The good guys don't escaped unscratched and don't always win all the time. Some of them even snap and military life can be very brutal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 I also loathe gender based commercials that mock the stereotypes they are simultaneously endorsing and encouraging. ME TOO. I hate the inequality, too. Ever notice how guys in commercials can be tubby, rather plain, and sweaty, but their wives/girlfriends are ALWAYS beautiful, younger, and well-kept? I hate any commercial that goes on the old 50's model of "woman as happy housewife and mother". If you'd only watched TV your whole life you'd think that no man could possibly have the mental capacity to cook, clean, or watch kids, while no woman would think of going through life without a big house to clean, children to fuss over, a husband to look beautiful for, and a family to serve dinner to. Speaking of which, have you ever seen those commercials where some kid is making a huge mess and ruining furniture or turning the kitchen into a roach magnet with sugar and chocolate, and Mom just shakes her head and smiles....... "Oh, those kooky kids! What will they get into next? Little darlings." If I ever, ever did anything even remotely messy when I was a child, I wouldn't be able to sit for the next two days. Even when women are "independent" and "modern", they're portrayed as shallow idiots. "And then he said, 'ciao, baby!'" "Let's go, girls!" Yeah right. Like any woman actually talks or acts like that. And last but not least, any commercial that tries to act funny and doesn't make the cut, I hate like Ann Coulter. I'm a fucking member of PETA but if I ever met that fucking gecko I'd run him over with a tank. Look, ad writers, if you can't think of anything funny, DON'T EVEN TRY TO DO ANYTHING FUNNY AT ALL. Arrgh. P.S. - And I very much doubt that choosing Jif as one's primary peanut butter is really going to cement and enrich one's relationship with one's child. I hate sappy commercials like that, too, unless they're about dogs. I hate those regional ads for car dealerships, real estate offices, RV dealerships, exercise clubs, or furniture discount stores. You know, the ones where the guy is talking REALLY LOUD and really fast in voiceover, and they show you the inside of the stupid furniture warehouse and all the crap in there is so utterly tacky you'd never buy it, and all the typefaces are in yellow and white so you can't really see them, and they use about ten different fonts and all kinds of bullet points and star-shaped callouts and flashing bright red shit that probably gives every epileptic for 3 states around a fucking seizure. There's one around here called Goedekers (sp?). They make me sick. "We get asked a lot of questions about why we're closed on Sunday. We're closed on Sunday because it's one of the Ten Commandments and that's what we believe in. We know it's a big shopping day, we know there's a lot of business done on S-Sundays (he stutters there for a second), but we think people need time for their families, they need time to go to church........" God damn it, I have the damned thing down pat! Okay, Mr. Goedeker, so I shouldn't shop at your store because your products are high-quality, the service is excellent, the warranties are actually honest, or because the prices are great, but because you follow the (perceived) Ten Commandments. (You do realize that the Ten Commandments are in the Old - Jewish - Testament, and therefore apply to SATURDAYS, don't you?) Wow. You've sold me. Why go for great value at a low price and a guarantee when I can shop at your God-fearing electronics store? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 There's one around here called Goedekers (sp?). They make me sick. "We get asked a lot of questions about why we're closed on Sunday. We're closed on Sunday because it's one of the Ten Commandments and that's what we believe in. We know it's a big shopping day, we know there's a lot of business done on S-Sundays (he stutters there for a second), but we think people need time for their families, they need time to go to church........" God damn it, I have the damned thing down pat! Okay, Mr. Goedeker, so I shouldn't shop at your store because your products are high-quality, the service is excellent, the warranties are actually honest, or because the prices are great, but because you follow the (perceived) Ten Commandments. (You do realize that the Ten Commandments are in the Old - Jewish - Testament, and therefore apply to SATURDAYS, don't you?) Wow. You've sold me. Why go for great value at a low price and a guarantee when I can shop at your God-fearing electronics store? Sheesh. The arrogance and stupidity of fundies never ceases to amaze me. But if they want to lose money and profit by not being open on Sundays, it's their right to (even though it goes against all common sense). Heck, even in small towns in the upper Midwest, the stores are open on Sunday after church so people can actually shop there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaoi Huntress Earth Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 one thing that annouys me is the new direction the Barbie commercials are taking. I was a child of the 80's and we had the great "We girls can do anything" slogan. Now girls get this materialistic "Where'd you get that?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nirrti Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 There was this tampon commercial, a few years ago that had the tampons dancing around on the screen making kalaidoscope shapes. Me and my grandmother were watching it one time and she said, "I reckon they'll start showing used ones next." Oh, and why is it most women in cleaning ads wear khakis and a solid color button down shirt? Is that some kind of universal uniform for house wives? And another thing, I abhor that Lysol commercial were the woman is whiping the counter tops with raw chicken to demonstrate that you're being just as bad of a housekeeper if you use a dishtowl. What? Are they going to use feces in the next one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Speaking of Tampons, has anyone seen the one that says, "Have a Happy Period!" That's the equivalent of saying, "Broken spines are fun at our hospital!" Sure, you can make it bearable, but it still sucks hard goat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosa Mystica Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Heh, reading through this thread makes me glad I'm Canadian. I haven't even heard of most of the commericials mentioned here. We do get a few up here, though. Like the Geico gecko and the Burger King "king" (creepy!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBeeland Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 I hate to get back to Burger King but I just saw a new commercial. Atleast I think its new, I've never seen it. They had a "rebel son" Whopper and a "dad" whopper. Two guys dressed in huge hamburger suits. And the son whopper said something I can't remember and the daddy whopper said something like "Get over here now" and the rebel son whopper said "What're you going to do, smack my buns?" I hate Burger King. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosa Mystica Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 I hate to get back to Burger King but I just saw a new commercial. Atleast I think its new, I've never seen it. They had a "rebel son" Whopper and a "dad" whopper. Two guys dressed in huge hamburger suits. And the son whopper said something I can't remember and the daddy whopper said something like "Get over here now" and the rebel son whopper said "What're you going to do, smack my buns?" I hate Burger King. Oh, goodness, this just made me laugh out loud. As did the post about the tampon commercial. Again, I'm so glad I haven't seen most of these commercials. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Speaking of Tampons, has anyone seen the one that says, "Have a Happy Period!" That's the equivalent of saying, "Broken spines are fun at our hospital!" Sure, you can make it bearable, but it still sucks hard goat. I haven't seen that one, but it sounds like it would be really annoying. It's gotta be men who come up with those stupid tag lines. And another thing, I abhor that Lysol commercial were the woman is whiping the counter tops with raw chicken to demonstrate that you're being just as bad of a housekeeper if you use a dishtowl. What? Are they going to use feces in the next one? I haven't seen that, but arrrrgh, how irritating. This thread makes me glad that I don't watch very much tv. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofspong Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 I remember this ad for womens body wipes or whatever, and the actress tells her boyfriend "are you gonna get ready"? The guy replies by taking off his shirt and putting it back on, inside-out. The narrator then says "guys have their way of freshening up, we have ours". This is hardly the first commercial we're guys are portrayed as dirty, smelly pigs who never bathe, and women are the nice and clean "know-it-alls". Even worse, shes a fairly attractive women with a seriously ugly boyfriend. Not very realistic. (well, unless hes Donald Trump) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 I don't watch any tv, but on the radio, I hate any commercial for sexual enhancers. I do remember these commercials on tv for hair growth treatments. I hate how oversensitive the men sound in those. "I hated the feeling that people were staring at my bald spot" Hey cueball, here's a newsflash: Nobody gives a fuck about your bald spot. You're not worth paying attention to. Stop being a little bitch, and try growing older graciously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Broke Free Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 I do remember these commercials on tv for hair growth treatments. I hate how oversensitive the men sound in those. "I hated the feeling that people were staring at my bald spot" Hey cueball, here's a newsflash: Nobody gives a fuck about your bald spot. You're not worth paying attention to. Stop being a little bitch, and try growing older graciously. Those “Hair Club” commercials were easy to spot before they even said a thing. The guys all looked like they had fake hair! Trying to look younger is too much of a hassle. By the time I was in my mid-20s I already had the hair and goatee to make me the spitting image of Colonel Sanders. For two years I colored my hair and spent the entire 24 months obsessed with thoughts that everyone was snickering at me behind my back. Accepting myself as prematurely gray is much easier. IBF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 Hehe, what pisses me off royally is the endless repetitions of moronic cell phone ringtones, logos et cetera on German MTV and other music channels. All bullcrap, all with the catch that you have to purchase a subscription (and you automatically purchase one as soon as you download even one single beep from those companies), and of course all hints at the subscription are printed on-screen with the smallest legal font size so that the song-crazed kiddies (at whom all the ads aim of course) will be sure to overlook it until some weeks or months later when they have accumulated hundreds of € of debts. I don't know how it's like where you live, but here, this cell phone bullshit is the [i)only[/i] thing advertized on music channels anymore. Now combine this with the facts that all the spots are just a few seconds long (to make the decision process of sending that fucking order SMS as quick and pressured as possible), there are exactly three companies out there offering this shit, with about three products being advertized per company at any one time, and that the commercial breaks are several minutes long, and you know why I'm constantly in danger of flying into a homicidal rage when I watch one of these channels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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