Antlerman Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 In other words, take advantage of calming the storm to look inside to root causes in your life and make adjustments as necessary, but more importantly learn means or techniques to manage them. How often do you ever still your thoughts? It's a good practice to begin to recognize that your thoughts don't define you, nor control you. It's a simple thing really to step back with a different perspective on yourself and from there to realize feelings and emotions and thoughts are simply things happening in your body, rather than "you" being caught inside the swirl of them all, tossed and battered about in the storms. From there, you can then go much deeper should you wish, into the very nature of who is that Witness if you will, but certainly, to take control in learning how to manage one's own emotions and responses (not suppress or deny them) is the beginning of true freedom and growth. Still my thoughts like repeating a prayer? That actually can be a means to that end. Prayer, ritual, and whatnot are intended to be about putting your mind in a 'sacred space' in order to open you up to something 'higher' or 'deeper'. These are techniques that are used in any sort of ritual, whether that's religious or secular. This is why things like going for a walk in nature can help to pull you out of your swirl of thoughts, concerns, etc. The very act of setting aside your active thoughts about your word can rejuvenate you, give you a new perspective, etc. Where I'm talking of stilling your thoughts can follow this where there is a suspension of any active participation in thoughts, to the point you are an observer of them as they surface, and not being engaged in them. They are objects you observe, like a cloud moving by. Work to suspend thoughts and simply be aware, be aware of your body, your sensations, even thoughts as they enter and exit the mind. It becomes an opening of yourself out of your thoughts, out of your 'self'. It's not always easy to do this, that's why there are things like rituals, physical activities like yoga, and whatnot to prepare the mind for it. So prayer? That can be used if you wish, but it is preparatory. It is focusing your mind to something outside yourself. Then from there, go inward, through and beyond all those objects that we use to create what we see as 'reality', into simple Being itself. The danger with ritual and what have you, is that they can become the thing in itself as a substitute, i.e., a religion. You know, this seems to be talking about satisfaction or learning to deal with "average".....average being that, well, "many people have this same problem", etc. "Look at yourself and don't take it so hard.....many people have these issues". "Maybe the other person is having a hard day". I think understanding you are not especially more or less f*'d up than others helps to remove any anxieties or self-esteem issues we may have over our issues. And this is very true. We are all messed up in our own specific ways. But I don't accept this is about just accepting this is what we are. Not at all. It is recognize this is our pile of poo we just have to deal with and accepting it as such, but then dealing with it! Not just saying "this is the way it is" and I'll never be better. Of course you will. You learn ways to work with what you've got so it doesn't control you or take over. It's your animal, and you have to train it. In learning to master it, you start to become powerful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 End, I jumped in late on this thread, but you asked an honest question and I'm going to give you an honest answer. I don't fear much. I'm not rich or brave or stupid, I just don't fear what I don't know to be a threat.Tthings that might happen or could happen don't occupy a lot of my time because everything in the known universe changes by the moment and I can't possibly cover a tiny fraction of what "might' be. I try to deal rationally with what has happened and is happening, but other than normal planning for normal events, no worries mate. And you know I have to say it: when you're not worried about a god watching, a lot of other worries go poof too. ~~Larry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest end3 Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 I think understanding you are not especially more or less f*'d up than others helps to remove any anxieties or self-esteem issues we may have over our issues. And this is very true. We are all messed up in our own specific ways. But I don't accept this is about just accepting this is what we are. Not at all. It is recognize this is our pile of poo we just have to deal with and accepting it as such, but then dealing with it! Not just saying "this is the way it is" and I'll never be better. Of course you will. You learn ways to work with what you've got so it doesn't control you or take over. It's your animal, and you have to train it. In learning to master it, you start to become powerful. I have a hard time differentiating "learning methods to deal" vs. "accepting". Is it a possibility that the angst, the dissatisfaction, the anger could be from residing in the dichotomy of good and "evil"? And then you specifically asked about faith. How is faith much different than the tools of anger management? An imaginary place in the future or a tool as you have mentioned......It appears that a standard of maturity i.e. effective anger management has many similarities to faith in the Standard/Christ. Just saying that the tools of empathy, removing oneself from the situation, and training oneself to a mature standard are synonomous to grace, prayer, and faith in Christ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest end3 Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 End, I jumped in late on this thread, but you asked an honest question and I'm going to give you an honest answer. I don't fear much. I'm not rich or brave or stupid, I just don't fear what I don't know to be a threat.Tthings that might happen or could happen don't occupy a lot of my time because everything in the known universe changes by the moment and I can't possibly cover a tiny fraction of what "might' be. I try to deal rationally with what has happened and is happening, but other than normal planning for normal events, no worries mate. And you know I have to say it: when you're not worried about a god watching, a lot of other worries go poof too. ~~Larry You make a good point. On a secular level, I could see that rational problem solving on an as needed basis could end in less stress....sincerely. I just weigh and contrast that with a philisophical view of good vs. "evil" BY the fact that I remain innately discouraged by what I witness as well as a need to perservere against such.......which makes Christianity a viable choice for me. Thanks for the post. As there was no sarcasm in it, my first thought was "Is Larry feeling well?"...lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 Still my thoughts like repeating a prayer? You know, this seems to be talking about satisfaction or learning to deal with "average".....average being that, well, "many people have this same problem", etc. "Look at yourself and don't take it so hard.....many people have these issues". "Maybe the other person is having a hard day". My big question is, does learning to adequately deal with "average" mean that average is what we have in our hearts? I don't see it as something to learn to live with. Anger management is basically tools to do this very same thing....question your own thoughts, learn to live with..... Why? Its not about average, it is about learning to deal with the fact that most people accept average quite nicely thank you very much. Doesn't mean YOU have to, but neither does it mean continutally putting the boot into yourself either. The people on this forum are here because they think end, which in my view is always a good thing. I have found the majority of people prefer not to, and that specifically includes people in church which is why I removed myself from them. Life is a journey of self-discovery while trying to hold the wolves at bay, whether they be real ones or the ones we create in our own mind. I have found it useful to learn to peel away the layers of every onion to find the root cause of everything in my life. Only then can I find the base truth of it and start dealing with it the best way I can. Not everyone will deal with it the same way I do. I have learend that most people do not view the world the way I do, and they never will. And that is okay. Took me a long, long time to get here, but the peace is blissful. I still have my days where I want to smack people around for their self centredness, but it is the way a lot of people are, and no amount of me throwing myself around is going to change that. Some of us will always question everything, and I don't think that is a bad way to be, but it can leave us open for too much introspection and navel gazing. If I let it, it puts me in a loop of being constantly angry about the things I cannot change, both in myself and others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I don't fear much. I'm not rich or brave or stupid, I just don't fear what I don't know to be a threat.Tthings that might happen or could happen don't occupy a lot of my time because everything in the known universe changes by the moment and I can't possibly cover a tiny fraction of what "might' be. I try to deal rationally with what has happened and is happening, but other than normal planning for normal events, no worries mate. Wow, Larry, I just want to jump in here and say I envy you for this ability. Sure wish I could do it. Signed, Worry-wart Deva Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oddbird1963 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 If I let it, it puts me in a loop of being constantly angry about the things I cannot change, both in myself and others. Though I believe the ability comes from within ourselves and not from the Theistic version of a god, I think the serenity prayer sums up the mental attitude that best helps us to balance the fear of what could be and the practical need to manage our lives in the here and now without wasteful internal turmoil: God, grant me I will mindfully seek the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference. This is a balance I think we strive to maintain throughout each of the stages of our lives. It is the key to living without fear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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