What Is The Most Annoying Type Of 'christian'?

[JOBAfunky]

I dislike stiff, humorless fundys that can't even stand to hear mild profanity. The type that will walk out of a room of people because someone says a cuss word in a movie.

 

Ugh, my parents were like that. Especially my mom, she had some kind of special radar for that stuff. If there were 3 seconds of something inappropriate in the length of a 2 hour movie she would always manage to walk into the room right then and bust me. It was uncanny.

[JOBAfunky]

 

 

...Here, have some death metal, it will make you feel better...

 

Thanks it did make me feel better. Anyways, on the topic; I find that the unthinking religious are the most annoying. The ones who believe in something but have never put in any effort into thinking about it. You can't have an argument with them because they've given themselves nothing to stand on. You try and bring up a point and the only response you get is something to the effect of, "Well I really haven't thought about it.(And I'm not planning on starting now buddy)" That is what really flips my lid, especially when they let religion be a major influence in their lives.

[par4dcourse]

Ones who have The Truth^TM.

[CelticWhisper]

I dislike stiff, humorless fundys that can't even stand to hear mild profanity. The type that will walk out of a room of people because someone says a cuss word in a movie.

 

I love those. Specifically, I love getting them in situations where there can be no unpleasant outcome for me when I use profanity, and then trying to get someone else to get them just a little riled up. Once the "Jeezus hates cursing!" starts, *cracks knuckles* it's Seven Words time.

 

EDIT: I use the word "you" a lot after this point. "You" doesn't mean you you, Deva, it means the fundie. I'm sure you knew that anyway but I just wanted to clarify. The following is NOT something whose direction I want mistaken.

 

As for me, I hate the "God has a plan" types. Biblegawd is in control, of me, of you, of everything, it's all biblegawd's plan, bla bla bla.

 

No. Fuck that shit. Fuck biblegawd, fuck his/her/its plan, fuck you for believing that tripe and fuck your children for the crime of carrying on your flawed, broken genetic legacy. FUCK YOUR CHILDREN FOR EXISTING AND FUCK YOU FOR NOT MISCARRYING. That you would presume to tell me that I'm a slave to your murderous tyrant in the sky and his lying piece of shit of a charlatan con-artist PIG of a son is a slight that the English language lacks the expressive capacity to adequately describe. No piece of shit sky daddy tells me what to do, and if god does in fact exist, then my first order of business upon arriving in hell is to enlist in hell's army so I can eventually storm the gates of heaven, burn it to the ground, and take the golden-inlaid scroll containing god's high and mighty plan and beat god in the face with it until god is nothing more than a pile of wet...whatever the fuck gods are made out of.

 

How's that shit for a plan, you irredeemable faith-fuck?

 

I'm really glad I have the internet to vent. As my girlfriend always responds to these rants (with a wry smile), "You're not a very happy person." It's probably a good thing I tend to be something of a rule-nazi when it comes to society's laws, as I worry sometimes about my capacity for remaining rational and understanding the societal importance of not flaying christians with a potato peeler when they trigger my berserk button by spouting drivel about "god's plan."

[OpheliaGinger]

The ones that actually advocate academic ignorance (i.e. "You are better off not knowing science or history; God is all you need.").

[CelticWhisper]

The ones that actually advocate academic ignorance (i.e. "You are better off not knowing science or history; God is all you need.").

 

I've never actually encountered one of these, which is most probably the reason I didn't name them as my most-loathed, but I've never understood this mentality. Are they really, truly that insecure that they practice willful ignorance to avoid challenges to their delusion? I mean, don't they believe that biblegawd created everything anyway? Science or history would then just be the study of that creation. I can see how science would still be troublesome, but history? Un-bee-leeeevable.

[Mothman]

"Moderates" who bastardize their religion beyond belief, and then bash atheists for being "literal."

[Overcame Faith]

The type of Christian I find most annoying is not really a Christian at all. It's the clergy who know that the Bible is mythological in character, know that Christianity is based on paganism, know Jesus never performed miracles, did not die on the cross and never rose from the grave. These are the members of the clergy in the various Christian denominations who know it is all rubbish yet continue to perpetuate the religion for any one, combination, or all of the following reasons:

 

1. Because they decide that their church members need to believe these things since it supposedly helps get them through life.

2. Because they feel that people can't handle the truth so they play their part and act as if the religion is true and real and that they are one of the annointed one's of god.

3. Because they have a good job with good pay, but frankly not too much responsibility and if they confessed their true beliefs, they would lose it all.

4. Because they like the power and prestige of their position.

5. Because they like to manipulate people and they know there is no better way to do that than to claim to speak for god.

6. Because they like money and they know that the best way to get money from people is to tell them that god demands that they "tithe" their income and then on top of that they must give generous offeriings.

7. Because they like to build earthly kingdoms with big buildings and lavish furnishings which are only occupied a few hours a week but which show the world how successful they are.

 

These members of the clergy who conceal the truth, yet wear the robes and garner the respect that their clerical positions provide for them, are guilty of crimes against the human spirit. Their victims often have no independent knowledge of their religion and depend on these clergy members to feed the "bread of life" to them. But what they don't know and are unwilling to hear is that along with the food, these deceitful clergy are binding them with unbearably heavy chains made by the lie of a vengeful god who does not exist but whom the innocent flock fear will send them or a loved one to hell if they do not do as they are told.

 

It is good for these members of the clergy that there is actually no hell because if there were, they would be the first to be cast into the fires with which they threaten their innocent parishners.

[lunaticheathen]

No. Fuck that shit. Fuck biblegawd, fuck his/her/its plan, fuck you for believing that tripe and fuck your children for the crime of carrying on your flawed, broken genetic legacy. FUCK YOUR CHILDREN FOR EXISTING AND FUCK YOU FOR NOT MISCARRYING. That you would presume to tell me that I'm a slave to your murderous tyrant in the sky and his lying piece of shit of a charlatan con-artist PIG of a son is a slight that the English language lacks the expressive capacity to adequately describe. No piece of shit sky daddy tells me what to do, and if god does in fact exist, then my first order of business upon arriving in hell is to enlist in hell's army so I can eventually storm the gates of heaven, burn it to the ground, and take the golden-inlaid scroll containing god's high and mighty plan and beat god in the face with it until god is nothing more than a pile of wet...whatever the fuck gods are made out of.

 

How's that shit for a plan, you irredeemable faith-fuck?

 

IO PAN! I absolutely love this shit. I'm right there with ya bud, kicking the shit out of that fuckin tyrant!

[Mriana]

No. Fuck that shit. Fuck biblegawd, fuck his/her/its plan, fuck you for believing that tripe and fuck your children for the crime of carrying on your flawed, broken genetic legacy. FUCK YOUR CHILDREN FOR EXISTING AND FUCK YOU FOR NOT MISCARRYING. That you would presume to tell me that I'm a slave to your murderous tyrant in the sky and his lying piece of shit of a charlatan con-artist PIG of a son is a slight that the English language lacks the expressive capacity to adequately describe. No piece of shit sky daddy tells me what to do, and if god does in fact exist, then my first order of business upon arriving in hell is to enlist in hell's army so I can eventually storm the gates of heaven, burn it to the ground, and take the golden-inlaid scroll containing god's high and mighty plan and beat god in the face with it until god is nothing more than a pile of wet...whatever the fuck gods are made out of.

 

How's that shit for a plan, you irredeemable faith-fuck?

 

IO PAN! I absolutely love this shit. I'm right there with ya bud, kicking the shit out of that fuckin tyrant!

 

You know, and I certainly in no way mean this as an insult to either of you, I can understand you guys' pain/anger, but for some reason, this makes me want to cry as much as a Fundamngelical preacher makes me want to run in fear, if I'm not paralyzed with fear first. My grandfather had a saying, which I think someone else said before him, "Curses, like tears, are understood the world over." However, I don't quite agree with your plan, but then again, I've never liked violence either. Here's the other problem- how are going to get past Hades in the Underworld, go back up the river Styx, go through earth realm, and get to Zeus? You think you can pay Charon enough? Your plan needs a little work. Luckily, there are no such places as heaven and hell. I don't think you'd make it very far past the other 4 rivers. Not without a little help from a goddess at least.

[J.W.]

 

 

Here, have some death metal, it will make you feel better.

 

 

 

I like it

[older]

The ones that actually advocate academic ignorance (i.e. "You are better off not knowing science or history; God is all you need.").

 

I've never actually encountered one of these, which is most probably the reason I didn't name them as my most-loathed, but I've never understood this mentality. Are they really, truly that insecure that they practice willful ignorance to avoid challenges to their delusion? I mean, don't they believe that biblegawd created everything anyway? Science or history would then just be the study of that creation. I can see how science would still be troublesome, but history? Un-bee-leeeevable.

 

 

Here's what I'd say to them: "What you're saying is that your so-called faith is so weak that it you are afraid that it won't stand up to being tested. If your faith was supportable, it would withstand challenge."

[Astreja]

I'm debating (and I use the term 'debating' *very* loosely) a composite annoyance on another forum currently. He claims to have The Truth™; he thinks all non-Christians are destined for an eternal Hell; he claims that all victims of Hell send themselves there, and insists on calling his Invisible Friend "good" and "loving" and "holy"; he opposes gay marriage; he plays the "You were never a true Christian" card; he wouldn't know evolutionary science if it bit him in the @ss; and on top of it all, he's a passive-aggressive S.O.B. who slings insults and insists he isn't trying to convert anyone.

 

Já, riiight...

 

I've half a mind to send him an extra-large pizza with live wolverines on it, but that really wouldn't be fair to the wolverines.

 

But to respond to the question in the OP, I think that his insistence that people condemn themselves to Hell is what really p!sses Me off the most. Blaming the victim is not cool.

[Guest ephymeris]

The christians that talk their kids into holding signs by the side of the road to protest everything from abortion to Lady Gaga. Get a fucking life and stop making your kids socially retarded.

[NEFARIOUS]

The ones who proclaim their faith with vigor, yet as soon as they are "called out" on whatever obvious inaccuracy completely shut down and tell me they will "pray for my salvation."

 

If you think I'm wrong tell me why but don't give me a 5 hour lecture on your "faith" and then shut down when questioned.

[lunaticheathen]

The christians that talk their kids into holding signs by the side of the road to protest everything from abortion to Lady Gaga. Get a fucking life and stop making your kids socially retarded.

 

I agree with this as well. They should be beaten with the signs.

[older]

The christians that talk their kids into holding signs by the side of the road to protest everything from abortion to Lady Gaga. Get a fucking life and stop making your kids socially retarded.

 

I agree with this as well. They should be beaten with the signs.

 

 

When I worked as a newspaper photographer we used to call little kids holding political signs "photo bait." They may be cute and they may get their pictures taken by unsophisticated journalists but do six-year-olds really have an opinion on the subject (unless the subject is broccoli!)?

[OpheliaGinger]

The ones that actually advocate academic ignorance (i.e. "You are better off not knowing science or history; God is all you need.").

 

I've never actually encountered one of these, which is most probably the reason I didn't name them as my most-loathed, but I've never understood this mentality. Are they really, truly that insecure that they practice willful ignorance to avoid challenges to their delusion? I mean, don't they believe that biblegawd created everything anyway? Science or history would then just be the study of that creation. I can see how science would still be troublesome, but history? Un-bee-leeeevable.

 

I was at a charismatic Assembly of God church when it was boldly stated. It's pretty much the sentiment that the Bible is the only textbook they need.

[Stormwarden]

For me, it is the cheerleaders. You know the ones I am talking about. The ones that constantly claim that their religion is right and the other 2999 are wrong. The ones who try to legislate their faith in politics and laws. The fact they would deny self-determination to those not of their faith makes them more than worthy of my contempt.

[Guest Valk0010]

the most annoying christian is one that thinks they know everything about everything

[Kathlene]

the most annoying christian is one that thinks they know everything about everything

 

 

Im pretty sure that I don't qualify for this one..hehe

[agnosticator]

The christians that talk their kids into holding signs by the side of the road to protest everything from abortion to Lady Gaga. Get a fucking life and stop making your kids socially retarded.

 

I agree with this as well. They should be beaten with the signs.

 

Damn right! I answered the door one day to find what appeared to be a 5 year old Korean boy with his best suit on and his babble in hand. He was flanked by two sober-looking Korean men. They stared silently at me while the cute little guy asked me questions (coached no doubt by the two Jehovah's guards he was with). So, I thought I would say something unexpected that might haunt his memory later in life. One question was "Do you read the Bible?" I said I didn't. He looked perplexed, and then asked if I would be interested in the Bible. I said "No, I'm not. And there are other people who also aren't interested in the Bible". He said "Reeeaally??" The adults glared at me as I said "have a good day"!

 

There are MANY christian behaviors that I find unnerving. But indoctrinating and then USING a child is the most insidious and immoral thing any christian can do! I'd like to knock the kid's parents heads together a few times! Then I'd tie them each to a chair, and make them listen to "Satanic" music until they go crazy!!!

[Guest Valk0010]

the most annoying christian is one that thinks they know everything about everything

 

 

Im pretty sure that I don't qualify for this one..hehe

You do fall into another one

 

One that writes there own bible

[lunaticheathen]

I thought of another type. The "you can't truly understand the Bible unless you have the Holy Spirit in you/have a relationship with Jeeeeeebus/are told my by pastor/etc, so don't comment on what you've read, heathen!" Yeah, I just have actually objectively studied the text, in deeper context and detail than you, but because I haven't drank your fucking kool aid, I'm suddenly illiterate when it comes to the fucking Bible??? Fuck me running, I know the bible better than these christards, and this is always just a fucking EXCUSE for why their argument failed. And an attack on mine. An ad hominem attack, in fact.

[Guest Valk0010]

one that says something is not in the bible when it is, and the guy who says it isn't has read the thing like 5 times

 

I told him, that the roman guards would not have taken a bride from the jews

 

He said that is not in the bible

 

Well it is

Now while they were going, behold, some of the guards came into the city, and told the chief priests all the things that had happened. When they were assembled with the elders, and had taken counsel, they gave a large amount of silver to the soldiers, saying, "Say that his disciples came by night, and stole him away while we slept. If this comes to the governor's ears, we will persuade him and make you free of worry." So they took the money and did as they were told. This saying was spread abroad among the Jews, and continues until this day.

Matthew 28:11-15