Foxy Methoxy Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 and you're standing before God almighty who is about to send you straight to Hell. There are Xians all around nodding their heads and saying "We told you so." You have one last thing to say before eternal damnation. What do you say? I'd call Jesus a pigfucker to see if I could get someone to say "Dude! You can't call Jesus a pigfucker!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jose Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 The longest possible speech I could ever possibly make. Since I'm dead, I wouldn't get tired. I'm willing to bet I could talk for eternity about bullshit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kryten Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 I would tell God that I defend His honor by DENYING that He could have done all the stupid and horrid things the bible and Christians say He did. I stuck up for Him when "believers" were quick to attribute mass murder, rape, intollerance, injustice, and moronic logic and communication skills to Him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandora Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 The longest possible speech I could ever possibly make. Since I'm dead, I wouldn't get tired. I'm willing to bet I could talk for eternity about bullshit. 103722[/snapback] To fillibuster God... That's a good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Judgment Day, like in Terminator? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asimov Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Judgment Day, like in Terminator? 103736[/snapback] Hastalavista, Jesus! *blam*!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 I'd say Lucy! ...uh, god. ...you got some 'splainin' to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxy Methoxy Posted November 8, 2005 Author Share Posted November 8, 2005 Judgment Day, like in Terminator? 103736[/snapback] Heh. Not as cool. I was thinking more in line with the Jack Chick tract type judgement day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Here's a suggestion to comic scene: Terminator and Jesus on judgement day... hehe... If the Biblicla JD happend, well, I say I'd have a long talk with the great dude in the sky, why he did what he did. He got some things to clear up for me, before he can justify throwing me in the pit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celsus Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Clain I thought I had pledged myself to Santa and beg for mercy due to undiagnosed dyslexia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JPD Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 Have fun spending eternity with a bunch of christians! Where's the door? No door? Firepole? Even better? WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 You have one last thing to say before eternal damnation. What do you say? I'd quote Independence Day. "Up yours!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All Gods Fail Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 I guess I'd try to take a swing at him - if I failed, what's the worst they could do to me? I'm already going in the lake of fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 I guess I'd try to take a swing at him - if I failed, what's the worst they could do to me? I'm already going in the lake of fire. 103814[/snapback] Good point. Or you could shout "I DON'T BELIEVE IN JESUS!" or "FUCK JESUS!" - I wonder what reaction that would give... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 I forgive You. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 I forgive You. I love the irony! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qadeshet Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 and you're standing before God almighty who is about to send you straight to Hell. There are Xians all around nodding their heads and saying "We told you so." You have one last thing to say before eternal damnation. What do you say? I'd call Jesus a pigfucker to see if I could get someone to say "Dude! You can't call Jesus a pigfucker!" 103717[/snapback] Actually, a Christian at work one day asked me that exact question. I told him that his god could kiss my ass. Then he hurried away and never said another word to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerise Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 I think it might play out something like what Oscar Wilde imagined in the House of Judgment. And God closed the Book of the Life of the Man, and said, 'Surely I will send thee into Hell. Even into Hell will I send thee.' And the Man cried out, 'Thou canst not.' And God said to the Man, 'Wherefore can I not send thee to Hell, and for what reason?' 'Because in Hell have I always lived,' answered the Man. And there was silence in the House of Judgment. And after a space God spake, and said to the Man, 'Seeing that I may not send thee into Hell, surely I will send thee unto Heaven. Even unto Heaven will I send thee.' And the Man cried out, 'Thou canst not.' And God said to the Man, 'Wherefore can I not send thee unto Heaven, and for what reason?' 'Because never, and in no place, have I been able to imagine it,' answered the Man. And there was silence in the House of Judgment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necrosmith Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 "It Figures." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 I forgive You. 103833[/snapback] Perfect answer! I was thinking I would ask him why he gave us such overwhelming evidence that he didn't exist, while communicating truth in a book so shot through with tall tales and blatant contradictions that no one with an objective mind could accept as factual. Then to essentially say "ha, ha, fooled you, but at least I told you…. only those that shut off the minds I gave them and were as gullible as those with an I.Q. of 50 can come in!" What the Fuck? I guess that's what I would ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianka Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 Me: If I were alive I would shit on you all! I got my bathing suit on, point me toward the slip-n-slide to Hell. Goin to see my family, and possibly do a little strip tease for Jim Morrison. Them: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 I think all anyone can say is..... I did the best I could. *Just in case... should we plan now on who should bring the marshmellows and who should bring the hotdogs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daniel_1012 Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 I honestly think this is a good topic. It is a good question to think about. Psalms 1 speaks about what judgement day will be like, for wicked men that wish to make their case before God, but denied him in life. Psalms 1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish. Something we notice in our courts is that when a man is asked to give his witness or make an argument, that person is asked to stand. You see though, no matter the words one may heap on earth, thinking they will offer God an explaination *if* judgment day comes... this says the ungodly will not stand in the judgment. God knows already, the day has come. Ungodly men won't even be standing, let alone giving account of their actions. Pslam 37:30 gives us an idea of what the righteous on earth will be doing. The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment It can also be noted that it says, "nor sinners (be standing) in the congregation of the righteous." So, unfortunately for those who think they'll be speaking with Christians, or saying anything about Christians looking for a reaction out of them... this says once the judgment comes, we will have no congregation at all with one another (Christian with non-Christian). So, that chance to get a good one in there before the end comes, won't be there either for the ungodly. Pretty much, anything one hopes to accomplish to "have a few things to say to God," won't happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 I like Numbers 23:22 better than that one. Numbers 23:22 God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn. God is a total badass, that's for sure! I'll bet unicorns are pretty darn strong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MQTA Posted November 10, 2005 Share Posted November 10, 2005 "Whoa, Dude, you gotta get your story straight" My jewish friends convince me Jesus never existed, or that he was a good Jewish boy who made a name for himself. My Mithra believing friends say Mithra is a Mythra and was claimed to have done nearly everything Jesus is claimed to have done, only years earlier. My Christian friends all fight with each other if they're saved by works, or saved by grace, or saved by faith, and then some on TBS tell me they were Saved by the Bell. My atheist friends treat me the best, they tell me it's all bullshit, and can show most of it for what it is. My reincarnation friends tell me we've been through this before, and before, and before. My satanic friends tell me there is no devil, and if so, it's LIVED backwards. And Desserts is stressed backwards, so let's each cheese cake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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