jasonother Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 To anyone who might read and be under the same condemnation, this posting is not a joke by any means, nor is it intended to bring up a debate on the validity or claims of Christianity. I'm writing this because it is an absolute real experience that has occured with me, and though the remnant be small, I think there must be *someone* somewhere who is going through the same process of the "fearful looking for of judgement and fiery indignation that shall devour the adversaries." I had a very real "break" around Rosh Hashanah in 2005, in which, after growing weary from my Christian walk, I stopped praying and stopping seeking God. Simply, I was investing a lot of emotional energy into a job, and I lost sight of God, along with going into more of a sinful lifestyle. It all culminated when I blasphemed with my lips the Holy Spirit in a moment of exasperation, and said "Oh my God!" in a rather scornful way toward The Lord. From that next day on, I felt empty inside. (It is a mystery, but if you have truly had The Holy Spirit, you will know full well that it is a Spirit that very much can be felt.) I was filled with a conscious awareness of my own damnation, that I was doomed, very much like Judas, who after betraying Christ, threw down the money into the temple, being convicted, certain of his damnation. It is the most frantic, hopeless and most horrific terror imaginable. "He that being often reproved haredeneth his neck shall be broken suddenly, and that without remedy." This is exactly what happened to me. For such, there no hope of repentance, for essentially, they have "crucified to themselves The Son of God afresh, and put Him to an open shame." It is the "sin unto death" spoken of by the Apostle John. It is also the eternal sin warned about by Jesus. It is a turning back and denying The Lord from the heart after having had The Holy Spirit. The blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is not merely saying words against The Holy Spirit or Jesus Christ. No, these sins will be forgiven people. Rather, it is a speaking against God while having The Holy Spirit upon one's soul. From such, The Holy Spirit departs, and their cause is now lost. How I regret that I had ever been born. I'm EXTREMELY afraid. There is nobody who can help me. God has shut off His ears from me, and will not hearken. As I said, I know that the remnant is very small in world today, but I figure there must be *someone* out there awaiting their damnation, hopelessly convicted of this horror. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 How I regret that I had ever been born. I'm EXTREMELY afraid. There is nobody who can help me. God has shut off His ears from me, and will not hearken. I'm so incredible glad that I don't have to live under that fear anymore. I am truly free from being afraid of that imaginary monster you call God. And at the same time, I feel sad that you're suffering it. It's very unfortunate that you have to in such anxiety and pain, only because you believe there is some higher evil being who demands your sacrifice and obedience. I hope for your sake that you come out of it some day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 jason, it sounds to me like you lost your faith. 2005, it's been almost 7 years. Have you been living in fear this long? I'm guessing that deep down you knew your walk was ending. And you came here for help. There is no satan to tempt you, there is no eternal hell because you were not fool enough to believe in the cult. There is only your rational mind that can free you from the slavery of this mythology. Read all the extimonies you can on this site and you will begin to see yourself in many of those writings. When people begin to lose their religion they become fearful, depressed, have great anxiety, feel loss and can become very lonely. Ask anyone here. Your post sounds like you already know that your faith has failed you. I could be completely wrong, but that is what I read between the lines. My friend you are not damned, you are just beginning to accept your real life, the one that does not require you to live in fear. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Christianity is such a horrific mind fuck. I hope you find some peace Jason. This is no way to live your life. Dig in deep and ask the hard questions. Is what I've been told about my faith truly based in reality? Is what I feel a good and valid way to measure reality? Might it be possible what I believe is not true? There is peace for you out there, but I fear you have a tough road ahead of you as you dig your way out of this entanglement you've been subjected to. All the best my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Chillax, my brother. Even if there is a god (although there's no solid evidence either way) I'm absolutely sure he's not the mean, petty, jealous total jerk the bible portrays. Xianity works through threats. "You can have a mansion of gold in heben with jebus, or HELL, but its entirely up to you." Think about it. Have you SEEN spirits floating around telling folks what to do? Did a spook come to you and say, hey you're fucked. No. It's all in your head and it's there because xianity put it there. It's your job now to put it out. Abandon the fear that the cult wants you to feel and think about things logically. The world makes a lot more sense when you realize there's no one in the wheel house. Welcome to the forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzy Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 While I was a Christian I was afraid ALL THE TIME to maybe accidentaly commit the unpardonable sin. I never did (while I was a Christian), but I was horribly afraid of it. So much that this fear made me feel ill mentally and physically. Just the thought that there is a chance to commit something that could condemn me for eternal hell and torture. This fear totally dispelled since I deconverted. I only laugh at the stupidity of it now, while as a Christian this fear made my life hell on Earth. Feelings are not proof for anything (ie. that you felt the HS was real), since the human mind is and emotions are extremely prone to manipultion. I recommend you to learn. Knowledge will set you free of your fears. Learn about the history of Christianity and the Bible. Think about the Bible and its contradictions, the evilness in it and whether that all makes sense? Many will able to recommend good books on it to you, but you can start with YouTube and Bart Ehrman, for example (who started college as a fundamentalist Christian but the more he learnt about the Bible, the more his faith dispelled - now he calls himself an agnostic): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-1hdqNDQ9E&feature=related Learn about the facts of science and how they relate to what the Bible claims. You may also want to learn about how the whole HS "experience" works. This documentary about an ex-pastor, called Marjoe, may help: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-178629120699935619 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I had a very real "break" around Rosh Hashanah in 2005, in which, after growing weary from my Christian walk, I stopped praying and stopping seeking God. Simply, I was investing a lot of emotional energy into a job, and I lost sight of God, along with going into more of a sinful lifestyle. There is no such thing as more sinful. There is also no such thing as less sinful. Sin is imaginary. It's like the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause. Can you have a more Easter Bunny life? Can you have of a less Santa Clause life? Sin isn't real. It all culminated when I blasphemed with my lips the Holy Spirit in a moment of exasperation, and said "Oh my God!" in a rather scornful way toward The Lord. From that next day on, I felt empty inside. (It is a mystery, but if you have truly had The Holy Spirit, you will know full well that it is a Spirit that very much can be felt.) Just like people who believe in ghosts can feel it. Just like people in other religions can feel the same subjective emotion convincing them that their religion is true. Your emotions are real but they can guide you to believe things that are not real. The feelings are real, the thing behind the feelings might be imaginary. I was filled with a conscious awareness of my own damnation, that I was doomed, very much like Judas, who after betraying Christ, threw down the money into the temple, being convicted, certain of his damnation. It is the most frantic, hopeless and most horrific terror imaginable. "He that being often reproved haredeneth his neck shall be broken suddenly, and that without remedy." This is exactly what happened to me. For such, there no hope of repentance, for essentially, they have "crucified to themselves The Son of God afresh, and put Him to an open shame." It is the "sin unto death" spoken of by the Apostle John. It is also the eternal sin warned about by Jesus. It is a turning back and denying The Lord from the heart after having had The Holy Spirit. The blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is not merely saying words against The Holy Spirit or Jesus Christ. No, these sins will be forgiven people. Rather, it is a speaking against God while having The Holy Spirit upon one's soul. From such, The Holy Spirit departs, and their cause is now lost. How I regret that I had ever been born. I'm EXTREMELY afraid. There is nobody who can help me. God has shut off His ears from me, and will not hearken. As I said, I know that the remnant is very small in world today, but I figure there must be *someone* out there awaiting their damnation, hopelessly convicted of this horror. Since you think you cannot go back why not move forward? Stop declaring that Jesus is your God. Instead declare that Jesus is imaginary. When you feel the real fear declare that it is from the way you were brainwashed back when you were a Christian. Trust me it is hard at first but it gets better. I often find myself upset about religious matters but then I remind myself there is no God and I feel better. You said you can't go back. What are you going to do about it? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted January 31, 2012 Super Moderator Share Posted January 31, 2012 Stop declaring that Jesus is your God. Instead declare that Jesus is imaginary. What MM said. Brainwashing's a bitch. Virulent forms of Christianity are extremely damaging to a healthy psyche. The basis of the religion is fear based on no evidence whatsoever. All religions and "spiritual" practices have examples of feeling the (fill in) spirit or being possessed of the (fill in) and healings, visions, speaking in tongues, etc. It's psychological manipulation and mental masturbation. Superstition and cultism. Study, think, dig to the roots of such beliefs. Examine the history of the Bible. A few facts, logic and common sense can eventually lead one into a healthy reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted January 31, 2012 Moderator Share Posted January 31, 2012 I'm EXTREMELY afraid. There is nobody who can help me. God has shut off His ears from me, and will not hearken. Jasonother, Here is some very good news (that's what the bible is....isn't it?) on the unpardonable sin. The blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, the unpardonable sin was the Pharisees' unforgivable allegation that Jesus was doing the work of Satan and not of God. I think you can start praying right away to jesus as soon as you read this. Best wishes to you, my friend! http://www.creationt...onable_sin.html And the same explanation here: http://www.churchisraelforum.com/have_you_committed_the_unpardonable_sin.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted January 31, 2012 Super Moderator Share Posted January 31, 2012 Margee is correct - you're not understanding "unpardonable sin" even in the context of Christianity. Doesn't matter though, they got you scared and that's what they want. It's all bullshit anyway. Don't give them power over you; use your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Jason, you actually sound like the type of christian that I hope will stick around the forum. We may be ex-christians, but there are many here with much knowledge who will be honest and open with you about the bible instead of twisting it like Christianity does for its own means and purposes. I have learned more about christianity in the short time I have been on this forum than I ever did all the years I was a christian. It's true that many of us have experienced the same fear you feel now. The truth does set you free, but it's not exactly the truth you think it will be. As it is Christianity hijacked a lot more pagan traditions than most Christians realise; for instance, the Creation story was an ancient Babylonian myth, and El-Shaddai, Lord Most High, Yahweh, even Baal, were Canaanite deities. The New Testament even takes the Old Testament out of context. Others have mentioned learning about the history of christianity and reading the extimonies of other former christians, and I fully support that idea. I also hope that you will ask questions and explore and seek the truth for yourself. We don't suffer that fear anymore because we are accepting of our eternal damnation, but rather because we have realised it for what it is: the result of much misinformation and brainwashing. If you would like to ask questions, we would be more than happy to help you find answers. We're not heathens, we've just made the biggest discovery of our lives: that christianity is false. I know that that is a hard concept to entertain: I never thought I would ever become an atheist. Yet, here I am. If someone had told me three years ago that I would be writing these words to you, I would not have know whether to be shocked, angry, or to laugh. Either way, I sincerely hope you find the peace that you deserve as a human being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivingLife Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Saying OMG is not the US. Lemme show you how it is done Fuck, god, the holy spirit and all miracles allegedly carried out in his name are of satan. Now if you read that, theoretically you are as fucked as I am (j/k) Really, you were indoctrinated with a mind virus and you allowed it free rent in your head. God is only real in the imaginings of many many folk but as soon as those folk die, so too does their god. The only reason god is immortal, folk pass it on in oral tradition but that god still only occupies your mind, no big sky daddy out there somewhere. Stick around and read, hear what folk have to say, your situation is not really that unique, and all of us overcame (by the blood of the lamb) by simple logic and rational thought. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted January 31, 2012 Moderator Share Posted January 31, 2012 Saying OMG is not the US. Lemme show you how it is done Fuck, god, the holy spirit and all miracles allegedly carried out in his name are of satan. Now if you read that, theoretically you are as fucked as I am (j/k) Really, you were indoctrinated with a mind virus........ Keep posting Livinglife...keep posting........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eugene39 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 As I said, I know that the remnant is very small in world today, but I figure there must be *someone* out there awaiting their damnation, hopelessly convicted of this horror. Hi, Jason, thanks for posting. You sparked a memory. The last part of Matthew 5:22 says "And anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell." Back when I was around 7 or 8 years old, I saw a guy racing a train to a crossing, and "What a fool" came to mind before I could stop it. Then for other reason, part of my teenage years were spent believing that I was already damned. So, have unfortunately spent some time very miserably, as you well know. Some way or another, I hope you can come to the conclusion that Christianity, especially in all its black and white fundamentalism, is false. Let's say there is a God. Why does "this God" have to be the God of the Bible, and just waiting to fry you? The Bible says in places that nature reveals there is a God. Let's say that is true. Where in nature do you see things being fried for three words that were spoken? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 As I said, I know that the remnant is very small in world today, but I figure there must be *someone* out there awaiting their damnation, hopelessly convicted of this horror. Hi, Jason, thanks for posting. You sparked a memory. The last part of Matthew 5:22 says "And anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell." Back when I was around 7 or 8 years old, I saw a guy racing a train to a crossing, and "What a fool" came to mind before I could stop it. Then for other reason, part of my teenage years were spent believing that I was already damned. So, have unfortunately spent some time very miserably, as you well know. Some way or another, I hope you can come to the conclusion that Christianity, especially in all its black and white fundamentalism, is false. Let's say there is a God. Why does "this God" have to be the God of the Bible, and just waiting to fry you? The Bible says in places that nature reveals there is a God. Let's say that is true. Where in nature do you see things being fried for three words that were spoken? Christians keep calling the Bible the "Word of God". Some of them call it the infallible Word of God. Some call it the inspired Word of God. But why? Really Why? I hope you think about this long and hard jasonother. What evidence is there that the Bible is the word of any God? It looks like it was written by men. It looks like it was edited by even more men. What if the Bible is just the word of men and nothing else? (Then Christians are worshiping the words of men - elevating it to the place of God and following the words of men as if they came from God) It would explain why people can use the Bible to prove nearly anything they want by changing subjective interpretations. Why couldn't God write clearly so that His word wouldn't lead to confusion? But the Bible says that it is has the words of God and that all scripture are good and so on . . . Well my message right here can tell you that I am God and this message is the both scripture and the Word of God. If you don't believe it when I write it about my message then why should you believe it when some other guys claimed that in their message? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Excellent point! I actually got to the point many years back where I questioned the connection of the holy bible to an actual god. What if the bible does not even describe the real god. What if they are two seperate things all together. What if the bible is actually in direct contradiction with what god really wants/expects. It's like believing that putting ketchup (faith in the bible) in your gas tank will make your car run (please god). I also think that xianity is assumptive that the generic term "god" is always used. Islam uses Allah because that is the name. xianity is actually Yahweh (or various spellings). Why is that ignored. Wouldn't that piss god off to be called by a generic name. "God" could mean any god in any belief system. The fact that the bible has so many mistakes tells my rational mind that it's not the word of any god from any religion of any kind. It tells me that it is an epic tale of hysterical horrors. And by hysterical I mean "crazy loonie bin", not "hysterical night at the improv funny". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 If God will not hearken, then under your name where it says, 'Still have any gods?" Just say no. If god has forsaken you, then why label yourself Christian? Maybe it is time to think for yourself. Also consider some anti-depressants and some counseling. We don't have to attribute everything to whether we are in god's favor or not. Sometimes we just feel like shit for no apparent reason and we have to eventually dig ourselves out and pursue happiness. Life is what you believe it to be. Sometimes there are chemical imbalances as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pratt Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 well, if the bible and god is true, then you are condemned... but then again, if the bible is not all true and it is up to interpretations, then what the fuck is unpardonable sin then? i think you are the same jason that posted before on the same thing again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasonother Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 Pratt, yes, it is me from years ago. I know people think it sounds judgemental to say that most who are ex-christians were never really Christians, but it really is true. "Many are called, but few are chosen." There are mysteries that the Bible doesn't expound on, like the fact that only 144,000 people are the firstfruits unto God. In other words, only 144,000 up until the Rapture will have received the Holy Spirit. That does not mean that most won't be saved. In fact, the truth is that the vast bulk of humanity will be saved in the Resurrections, though they will not have honor or glory of The Lord. They will, however, enter into the earth to live forever. "As in Adam all die, even so, in Christ shall all be made alive." Jesus said "I will draw men unto Myself." The claim by many "christians" that once you die, there is not chance for forgiveness is not Biblical. It is a fabrication by people who don't rightly divide the Word of Truth and by others who say it in order to give urgency for all to be saved and to not give license to sin. If many people knew that, they would sin away and just say to themselves "oh well I can be saved later." God's people in this world have always been a small remnant. There may be fewer than a thousand or even a few hundred truly chosen (and sealed with The Holy Spirit) saints in this world today. Jesus Said "When I come, shall I find so much as faith on the earth?" Those who are eternally damned are such characters as the popes, cardinals, bishops of catholicism, false prophets, false teachers, and those who lost The Holy Spirit,like me. Be glad that you had never had The Holy Spirit. If He openly poured out His Spirit on humanity today, there would be many in this eternally damned state as myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator Popular Post florduh Posted February 2, 2012 Super Moderator Popular Post Share Posted February 2, 2012 Be glad that you had never had The Holy Spirit. If He openly poured out His Spirit on humanity today, there would be many in this eternally damned state as myself. You have been brainwashed with bullshit. You are steeped in unfounded superstitions and probably need professional help. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 @jasonother Florduh is correct. You have been brainwashed. Many denominations simply update that number and since they've been preaching the return of Christ or the Rapture (two separate events) for so long and it hasn't happened yet...well it's not going to happen. You get this one chance...even if there are others (via reincarnation) you might not remember this one chance...live this life the best you can. Please get some help...your life is worth far more than living in this fear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Pratt, yes, it is me from years ago. I know people think it sounds judgemental to say that most who are ex-christians were never really Christians, but it really is true. There is no objective evidence of that. If it were true then where is the evidence? It's propaganda. Christians look bad when other Christians see the religion for what it is and give up. So that is why Christians use the No True Scotsman fallacy to explain away ex-Christians. "Many are called, but few are chosen." Those words are the opinion of a human being. You don't even know who first wrote them. They are attributed to a character in a story but who wrote the story? Why should you believe them? There are mysteries that the Bible doesn't expound on, like the fact that only 144,000 people are the firstfruits unto God. In other words, only 144,000 up until the Rapture will have received the Holy Spirit. The rapture was suppose to happen some one thousand nine hundred and fifty years ago. If Christians are still around a hundred years from now then the rapture still won't have happened. Every generation thinks that the rapture is going to happen when they are still young. Every generation discovers that it doesn't. Be glad that you had never had The Holy Spirit. If He openly poured out His Spirit on humanity today, there would be many in this eternally damned state as myself. If you can never get back then why not walk away? If Jesus can never take you back then call Jesus "imaginary". What more do you have to lose? If you believe your punishment in the afterlife is the same then you have nothing to lose. But you do have something to gain. Calling Christianity and God imaginary could be the first step to finding peace in this life. And wether you are right about eternity or I am right about eternity, either way, all you have to enjoy is this life so don't waste another day. Say it: Jesus Christ is imaginary. Hell is imaginary. They are not real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzy Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Think about it too: when the Old Testament talks about the Messiah it never talks about the need of a Second Coming. The Old Testament Messiah is predicted to do everything he is supposed to do at first attempt. The concept of a Second Coming and Rapture and all that stuff came in with Christianity because Jesus very obviously failed to fulfil the prophecies about the Messiah. So Christians made up this concept about how he WILL fulfill everything when he comes next time. But in the OT the Messiah doesn't need a second chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasonother Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 I know how crazy it seems that I would be the ONLY person who seems to be in this situation. And how I WISH that I'm just crazy, that this is all in my mind, but it's not. You can't understand the power of God if you have never had the Holy Spirit, which few have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted February 2, 2012 Super Moderator Share Posted February 2, 2012 I know how crazy it seems... Apparently you don't. Please seek professional help. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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