Toxic Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 What cliches do Xtains say that people find most annoying? The one I think that p--ses me off the most is "You need an instruction manual for a car and you need and instruction manual for life - the Bible is that instruction manual!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 There are sooo many things that piss me off about the jebus death cult, it's hard to determine a lasting favorite. Currently, after having read about something I didn't know before about the sagas of my ancient brothers and sisters of faith, I find the braindead claim "Every culture of the world has a flood tale and they all are very similar, so there" especially idiotic. You know, I recently read what passes as a "flood myth" in the sagas... oh well, if a flood of blood almost drowning all of Midgard is "similar" to the noachian fairy tale, then I can't help in any way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Oh shit. There's so many things; I bet this thread goes past 12 pages.... The one I hate the most is the one they use whenever you disagree with them or show a problem with their bible/beliefs. "Well, the bible says there will be those who scoff. By disagreeing, you prove the bible true. Huzzah!" Man, the stupid just pours off that. My fave reply is "The IPU told me you'd say that. Thanks for proving her right." Another one I hate is, whenever a skeptic uses the bible to illustrate their point... Wait, try to guess it first. Do you see it coming? "You're taking it out of context!!!!!1!!11!1eleven" It doesn't matter the circumstances, the context, the point you're making, anything. A skeptic quotes the bible, its automaticly out of context. Drives me nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saxyroze Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 W.W.J.D. - I’ve always hated that, even when I was a Christian. And A family that prays together stays together. Oh, and that our body is the Lord's temple....therefore you can't get pierced, get tattoos, get intoxicated, have sex, masturbate, have a mohawk, listen to heavy metal, smoke a cigarette, ect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ped Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 bumper stickers that say "god, why is there so much violence in our schools? god..i dont know im not allowed in school." as if back in the day there was no violence and every thing was all leave it to beaver. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
non conformist Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Jesus loves you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 I'M PRAYING FOR YOU. Whoop-d-fucking-do. I'm crossing my fingers for you. Ring-around-the-rosie we all fall down. Anyway - I know they mean well. They just don't realize that prayer is a fruitless endeavor, might as well burn some incense or something. At least I like the smell of incense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth So cute, so clever...NOT! Most of their little jingles just plain suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 "There's a reason for everything." Really? Then why is it they can never find a reason to justify whatever bad stuff that happened? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 bumper stickers that say "god, why is there so much violence in our schools? god..i dont know im not allowed in school." as if back in the day there was no violence and every thing was all leave it to beaver. I have a question. How can they keep God out of public schools if he is omnipresent? That's like asking Him to leave the room just before you masturbate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, did someone really say that? That's hilarious. Me, I hate most, as was said above, how Xians like to disprove you with the Bible, not reason or logic. If they don't like what you say or do, all they have to do is look up the appropriate verse and presto - you're wrong. What nonsense. What I also dislike INTENSELY is when they go on about how "God is in control" and so forth. What a load of shit. Really - if Yahweh was all-powerful and all-knowing, don't try to tell me he just permits bad things to happen yet wants us to be good. If he has the power to eradicate evil, we all know he would - but of course, Xians have to give the excuse that Yahweh "permits" evil to happen because of our free will or whatever so they can excuse away why he does not just get rid of evil in the first place. A third gripe - how they all go on about how I need to establish a "personal relationship" with Jesus? What "personal relationship", does that mean he is supposed to come down and crack open a cold one with me? Come on now, Jesus doesn't come down and hang out with you no matter how you feel, but that's just what it is, an appeal to our feelings. It doesn't wash logically, and even their own Bible doesn't say anything about having a "personal relationship" with Jesus or that "God is in control". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 God doesn't doubt YOUR existance. Man, I hate that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 Oh, and I just love the "you weren't really a Christian" line. Bull. I was as much a Christian as they are. They just don't want to admit it's possible not to believe in the cult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JPD Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 My favorite is the "god bless you" instead of a "fuck you" with obviously the same intended meaning. My Dad often falls back on " I know that I know that I know" when we discuss theological matters for which he has no answer to my logic. What that basically means is "shut up, I am not listening to you, LALALALALA". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willybilly30 Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 their are so many damn. heres some stupid ones. 1. jesus died for you my opinion: hmm jesus died 2000 years ago i was born 1975 he died in israel right? nope cant die for someone you didnt even know existed. 2. jesus loves you my opinion: how can you love someone you never met? 3. you have a freind in jesus my opinion: cant be a freind to someone you never met. 4. quote john 3:16 at my austin 3:16 shirt my opinion: that is a sick bible verse enyone who sacrifices their son to forgive someone is sick in the head 5. god told me you were suffering and i came to help my opinion: they saw me walking down the street and thought theirs a sucker i can sell this shit too 6. god told me to tell you this my opinion: why dont god tell me then is he mute or something 7. them are the mysteries of god not for us to know my opinion: you dont know tha damn answer to my question so you make a dumb reason like that 8. god blessed you with a job, apartment and you wont follow him my opinion: am i god? cause i got those things on my own. 9. your having a hard time cause you left god my opinion: shit happens to everyone including you dumbass 10. you need jesus my opinon: like i need a headache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 God said it, I believe it, that settles it. God did not say it, who the hec are you that your belief is the be all end all? Jesus is the reason for the season. pppfftthhhhhhhhhhhhhh You are just in arrogant denial um pot meet kettle Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven. I hate excuses instead of apology, it's kind of a pet peeve, and this is what is often said when a Christian behaves like a total dick. Just say you screwed up and you're sorry dick. We are all hypocrites, liars and sinners, thats why we need Jesus. I almost freakin feel sorry for Jesus sometimes, sheesh. It's not a cliche but I hate all the bullsnot they say when you say you are an agnostic. First many assume you mean atheist and start in on you not believeing in god. Then there are those that think the position of agnostic is bogus, and you really are an atheist, then there are those that think we all KNOW there really IS a god and that he is their God, but we are just in denial. Dicks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Silent One Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 saw this on a bumper sticker the other day "If you're living like there is no God, you'd better be right!" So tempted to pull out a sharpie and scrawl "I AM" across it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 Here's another thing I hate: The term "fellowshipping". Let's get together and fellowship. Another word for standing around shooting the shit while eating cookies and drinking punch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 Isn't it dumb? How Jesus gets the credit for everything? A couple of weeks ago I stopped and gave a down & outer $10. This pitiful person was so grubby I thought it was a dude, but once she got up close I realized it was a dudette. She says, "Oh, God bless you! God bless you!" I felt like saying, "let me tell ya something, lady. An atheist just gave you that ten bucks, so save your blessings for someone else" But of course, I didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 My favorite is the "god bless you" instead of a "fuck you" with obviously the same intended meaning. Or the patronizing "Bless you" when you sneeze, when you know they're really thinking "I will say Bless you so I can ram my religion down your throat, and to hell with your secular ways, and I hope you get the bird flu and die." And it's at work, so I can't say anything. Aaargh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 or or or... I have to love you but I don't have to like you. Which bascially means I hate you, I think you're creepy and I am going to try to avoid you from now on, but.. I'll pray for you. DICKS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Beyond_Belief Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 "You'll always be safe in `His' hands" or "He will never let any harm come to you." Though Christians still die in disasters and mass shootings in churchs ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 or or or... I have to love you but I don't have to like you. Which bascially means I hate you, I think you're creepy and I am going to try to avoid you from now on, but.. I'll pray for you. DICKS! I do think this bumper sticker is funny though: God loves you, but the rest of us thinkyou're an asshole! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euphgeek Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 Turn or burn! (During summer) You think it's hot here... Satan has blinded you to the truth. No non-Christian is ever truly happy. Pascal's wager. (Not very often) When people are angry or frustrated, if they swear or take the name of the Lord in vain, they don't say "Oh Buddha!" or "Oh Mohammed!" They say "Oh Jesus!" or "Jesus Christ!" You know why? It's because there's POWER in the name of Jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 "Our church is soul-ar powered...by the Son!" Excuse me while I hack up some crud. When someone survives a terrible accident or otherwise avoids death or serious injury, some boob always says "God was sure looking out for him." But when someone dies, no one says "Damn! God sure wasn't paying attention." I hate all their platitudes about atheists: "There are no atheists; you know in your heart there is a god, you are just in denial because you want to revel in sin." "There are no atheists in foxholes." How do they know? God told them! God always tells them the things they believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts