lkcollins Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 " Oh honey, your're just searching" You know the answer... : That one just get's me!.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 " Oh honey, your're just searching" You know the answer... : That one just get's me!.. Oooooh!! Yeah! As if deciding the religion you were likely brought up with was false was an easy step to take! As if you did no soul searching, praying, begging to god for guidance over missteps and failures. All the reading. All the questions you asked of the people who were supposed to be "in the know" and were given the run-around instead.... until finally you were faced with just having to figure it all out yourself, which likely involved even more reading and studying..... Then the re-evaluation of self.....what to keep, what needed to go.....what could be held onto a little longer..... And then for someone to come along and virtually pat you on the head and say something condescending like that.....like all you went through to get where you were was absolutely nothing at all!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 "Want to hear my testimony?" That is always a good one. Despite me knowing the person at the time of what they are talking about (leading to a lot of "Dude, it never went down that way.") or being able to shoot their evidence full of holes with my words as easily as a Chicago Typewriter, it never fails to amaze me how they want to "Bare their souls." to others. A lot of them really should start "No shit, there we were." (otherwise known as the adult version of "Once upon a time.") Thing is, if asked I usually say yes. Every now and then I find someone who doesn't load up the deal with BS and just tells a story of theirs. Meh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanakila Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 My favorite is the "god bless you" instead of a "fuck you" with obviously the same intended meaning. Or the patronizing "Bless you" when you sneeze, when you know they're really thinking "I will say Bless you so I can ram my religion down your throat, and to hell with your secular ways, and I hope you get the bird flu and die." And it's at work, so I can't say anything. Aaargh. But, But, But, I say bless you but I am blessing you not God. We humans can bless others, don't you know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 "hell is seperation from God" Gee it's so hard when you have argue with christians about what the bible actually says. aren't they the ones who has to defend it Yeah, or the "hell is just death" thing. Doesn't matter, it would still be unfair and it still doesn't exist. This one got to me recently: "See? The Lord always provides." All I could think of was the 16,000 children under 6 who will die of hunger today around the world. He certainly didn't provide for them, did He? Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! I was at a fundy's house one time with an exPastor there and he was thanking god for being so good and for always providing, blah, blah, blah. All I was thinking about what a shitty job he was doing for folks in the Middle East and Africa and other such places. Funny how God is usually on the side of rich white people with big armies. Another is how certain fundys I know thank god for providing parking spots and other trivial stuff. I guess I now know why god lets kids starve and get blown to bits in wars like Iraq. He's too damn busy making sure fat Christians get a parking spot so they can walk 5 less minutes to go buy useless junk. What a country. Yeah, just like he provided for the people in New Orleans before the storm hit, and killed the ones who stayed because they trusted in him. And all the homeless people, and the elderly people who can't get their prescription drugs because they can't afford them even with the new system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodhi-in-Training Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 I think the most annoying this is "God works in mysterious ways"..mainly because it's usually used to justify something bad happening. A perfect example of this happened just a couple weeks ago. A forum I'm on, just a lot of general chit chat that goes on, well one of the ladies on the boards daughter just miscarried. I'll quote some of the stuff (easier than trying to regurgitate)... spent the evening with my Daughter, we talked for a long time, it has been a very long time since we have done this and I feel like it brought us back close togeather, it was a shame we had to wait for this tradgedy to bring us back togeather, but at least something good came of it..we had a great cry.. One of the responses...and this blew my frickin mind.. glad you had a reconnect with your daughter. God works in mysterious ways. It took everything in my being not to respond..but I was thinking...ok so god kills an unborn child to bring you closer together. This supposed all powerful being had no other way to do this?? This is your way of consolling and justifying it to someone??? WTF??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 I think the most annoying this is "God works in mysterious ways"..mainly because it's usually used to justify something bad happening. Yeah. I hate "Everything happens for a reason" the most. It's like, then how come nobody knows the frickin' reason? Why would you worship a being who supposedly murders people for his own secret plans and doesn't even tell the pope? I mean, come on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Broke Free Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 I really hate it when Christians tell me that the reason I don’t recognize God’s existence is because I refuse to. That has got to be the most presumptuous bit of claptrap I have ever heard. I recognize that they have to believe this in order for their perception of God to be fair, but I wish I had a quick comeback line for it. IBF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snookums Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Reading this thread sure gets me riled up....everything they says is annoying!!! Its the smile - the constant fucking smiley pitch in the voice.. "my eternal life is too important" "I'll find my reward when I meet my maker"...sheesh. ..its maker that maker this! Problems....'Pray about it"..."praise the lawd" last but not least...."we're all gods children" even when speaking to an atheist/non religious person...like they own the fucking world. <lets out breath> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 I really hate it when Christians tell me that the reason I don’t recognize God’s existence is because I refuse to. That has got to be the most presumptuous bit of claptrap I have ever heard. I recognize that they have to believe this in order for their perception of God to be fair, but I wish I had a quick comeback line for it. IBF Well, the reason you don't recognize (insert god here)'s existence is because you refuse to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dulce Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 No jesus, no peace Know jesus, know peace Freaking IDIOTS!! The most miserable time of my life was when i was trying to "know" jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotBlinded Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 No jesus, no peace Know jesus, know peace Freaking IDIOTS!! The most miserable time of my life was when i was trying to "know" jesus. I used to like to rewrite that like this: No Jesus, Know peace Know Jesus, No peace I have changed a little, but it's still funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 "Want to hear my testimony?" That is always a good one. Despite me knowing the person at the time of what they are talking about (leading to a lot of "Dude, it never went down that way.") or being able to shoot their evidence full of holes with my words as easily as a Chicago Typewriter, it never fails to amaze me how they want to "Bare their souls." to others. A lot of them really should start "No shit, there we were." (otherwise known as the adult version of "Once upon a time.") Thing is, if asked I usually say yes. Every now and then I find someone who doesn't load up the deal with BS and just tells a story of theirs. Meh. Okay, that IS what I did, and they HATED it. They wanted me, saved from the :: que scary music:: occult, to have a standard attacked by demons, books flying across the room, after school special kind of testimony. Gah, so annoying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thunderbolt Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 My #1 Everything will work together for good for those who love God. (aka Romans 8) Especially said when someone dies, or during some traumatic life episode. This is spewed in season and out of season, to believer and unbeliever alike. It’s the one line of “wisdom” that is supposed to make everything better. Not! Oh I hate that line, I just so hate it … Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mj's damaged Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Saints are just sinners who fall down and get up. Really? They get up and fall back down again. I don't have religion, I have a relationship. Hmm. I see. Makes sense to me. it's still the same b/s god. wait, wait, wait...I think there is one more. I AM SO MAD AT SATAN RIGHT NOW! HE IS MAKING YOU BELIEVE A LIE. Do I really need to respond to that one? Yeah. I thought your god let us have free will, why would his nemesis make me believe in a lie? If I don't believe in god, I can't believe in satan. Therefore, satan doesn't make me do anything. Oh yeah. He's not my #1 he's my only. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toxic Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 "A piece of clay doen't question what a potter does to it - and for the same reason we do not question God!" It's a good get out clause when the Xtian can't think of an answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Okay, that IS what I did, and they HATED it. They wanted me, saved from the :: que scary music:: occult, to have a standard attacked by demons, books flying across the room, after school special kind of testimony. Gah, so annoying. Not so clear on what you mean by this. What I meant above is that some actually try to be honest and just tell one of their stories. Seems that everyone has at least one interesting and truthful (often stranger than fiction) story to tell. It's why I am willing to say yes, if that makes any sense. You know, the off chance of running into an honest christian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I really hate it when Christians tell me that the reason I don’t recognize God’s existence is because I refuse to. That has got to be the most presumptuous bit of claptrap I have ever heard. I recognize that they have to believe this in order for their perception of God to be fair, but I wish I had a quick comeback line for it. IBF You could always say that the reason they don't realize their god doesn't exist is because they refuse to. Might as well turn their own words back on them and make them come up with real answers instead of slogans. God, they hate that, hehe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyous1 Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 1 Corinthians 10:13 13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. Usually restated by Christians as "God will never give you more than you can stand." Oh yeah? If that were true none of us would be Ex-Christians, would we? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 No jesus, no peace Know jesus, know peace Freaking IDIOTS!! The most miserable time of my life was when i was trying to "know" jesus. *looks for the rep button That's so true! Here's another one: "Even the devil believes in God...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 And A family that prays together stays together. And beats the shit out of their children. As for the "Instructions-for-Life" anagram, I always say Bullshit- Infused Book for Lying Evangelicals When someone survives a terrible accident or otherwise avoids death or serious injury, some boob always says "God was sure looking out for him." But when someone dies, no one says "Damn! God sure wasn't paying attention." I love that one. Somebody is sitting in a hospital after surviving a fire and third-degree burns over 95% of his body and the loss of his left leg having been burned off, and there are the people saying, "Wow! You made it! You shouldn't have been able to survive that. God was looking out for you!" No he wasn't, dammit! If he was HE WOULDN'T'VE BEEN IN THE FIRE IN THE FIRST PLACE! He's not lucky or blessed - that poor bastard lost a fucking leg! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Mythra, your example about giving the homeless person $10 brought this little christian "anecdote" (or in other owrds, a joke that retarded pastors like to try to pass off as something that actually happened) that I just HATE back to mind... There was a little lady I used to live next to who believed God would supply everything for her. On the other side of her lived an atheist. Now the lady was going through some very hard times financially a few weeks back and she took to praying late at night. The atheist was taking his garbage out one night and overheard her crying to the Lord that she was in dire straits and needed him to perform a miracle. She was almost out of food and her next social security check was still weeks away. The atheist thought, “I’m going to prove to this old woman that there is no god.” He then went out and bought her $50 worth of groceries, left them on her doorstep, rang the doorbell and hid in the bushes waiting for her to answer the door. When she came out and saw the groceries on the step, she began to sing and dance and praise God saying, “Thank you Jesus! I knew you’d provide for me!” At that moment, the atheist jumped out and said, “There’s no god! I bought those groceries for you!” The woman stopped, looked at him and went back to singing and dancing and thanking God. The atheist was exasperated and said, “Didn’t you hear me? I said there IS no god! Jesus didn’t bring you those groceries! I did!” The old lady looked up to heaven and said “Thank you Jesus! Not only did you send me groceries, but you made the devil pay for them!” DAMN but I hate when they pull stupid shit like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necrosmith Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 1 Corinthians 10:13 13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. Usually restated by Christians as "God will never give you more than you can stand." Oh yeah? If that were true none of us would be Ex-Christians, would we? I was always hoping he would give me some sexual temptations, just to test my faith. Of course, I would fail, but that's beside the point. I would have really enjoyed failing. Also, whenever we have a holiday meal or something, my parents will ask me to say grace knowing full fucking well that I'm not a believer. Honestly, next time they do this, begin the prayer this way.. "Oh most great and power Apollyon the Destroyer, we acknowledge your power and agree with you we are strong as we have conquered our enemies to obtain this bounty..."f Repay their evil with evil and see if they ever ask you to pray again. If nothing else, you'll get a laugh out of it. Or, if you want a little less extreme way to deal with it, simply state you are uncomfortable praying in public and then quote the part of the Bible where Jesus says you should pray in secret. Of course they will scoff at that so just look them seriously in the eyes and ask them not to persecute you for your beliefs. Should be hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 Mythra, your example about giving the homeless person $10 brought this little christian "anecdote" (or in other owrds, a joke that retarded pastors like to try to pass off as something that actually happened) that I just HATE back to mind... There was a little lady I used to live next to who believed God would supply everything for her. On the other side of her lived an atheist. Now the lady was going through some very hard times financially a few weeks back and she took to praying late at night. The atheist was taking his garbage out one night and overheard her crying to the Lord that she was in dire straits and needed him to perform a miracle. She was almost out of food and her next social security check was still weeks away. The atheist thought, “I’m going to prove to this old woman that there is no god.” He then went out and bought her $50 worth of groceries, left them on her doorstep, rang the doorbell and hid in the bushes waiting for her to answer the door. When she came out and saw the groceries on the step, she began to sing and dance and praise God saying, “Thank you Jesus! I knew you’d provide for me!” At that moment, the atheist jumped out and said, “There’s no god! I bought those groceries for you!” The woman stopped, looked at him and went back to singing and dancing and thanking God. The atheist was exasperated and said, “Didn’t you hear me? I said there IS no god! Jesus didn’t bring you those groceries! I did!” The old lady looked up to heaven and said “Thank you Jesus! Not only did you send me groceries, but you made the devil pay for them!” DAMN but I hate when they pull stupid shit like that. Ooo... I agree. Snide little stories like that that don't jive with reality. Also shows the lack of gratitude Xianity teaches Xians to show for those who help them. Just credit it to the Holah Spirid and if someone if *gasp* a non-believer, then laugh at the "devil" whom God manipulated. And people wonder why I have grown to despise that deathcult... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taryn Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 how much of a hypocrite will yall see me, as a professed believer, see me as when I agree with yall on hating just about everything quoted... even as a Christian I can't stand them, how the faith got boiled down to a few cute little anecdotes I do not know... i'm sure its the same road that the church took to corruption. ...and now you are going to tell me that saying that was in itself something that Christians say that annoy you.... am I right? haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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