HadouKen24 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 He then went out and bought her $50 worth of groceries, left them on her doorstep, rang the doorbell and hid in the bushes waiting for her to answer the door. When she came out and saw the groceries on the step, she began to sing and dance and praise God saying, “Thank you Jesus! I knew you’d provide for me!” At that moment, the atheist jumped out and said, “There’s no god! I bought those groceries for you!” The woman stopped, looked at him and went back to singing and dancing and thanking God. The atheist was exasperated and said, “Didn’t you hear me? I said there IS no god! Jesus didn’t bring you those groceries! I did!” The old lady looked up to heaven and said “Thank you Jesus! Not only did you send me groceries, but you made the devil pay for them!” DAMN but I hate when they pull stupid shit like that. That's actually kinda clever. I mean, the guy was making an ass of himself by trying to prove that God doesn't exist that way. That's at the very least rude. A response like that seems to be only appropriate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 how much of a hypocrite will yall see me, as a professed believer, see me as when I agree with yall on hating just about everything quoted... even as a Christian I can't stand them, how the faith got boiled down to a few cute little anecdotes I do not know... i'm sure its the same road that the church took to corruption. ...and now you are going to tell me that saying that was in itself something that Christians say that annoy you.... am I right? haha. That's not hypocritical, that's honest, and you're not the first Christian who has thought that. I did while I was, you'll read several messages here where people said they hated some of these cliches while they were still Christians. Raul Rees of Calvary Chapel will go on and on about how he dislikes bumber stickers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thunderbolt Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 I don't think this website is suitable for me. I might give it a break. After losing every debate they start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 I realize this is probably on this list already, but I have to rant. I really hate it when people say: "You were not a Real True Christian ." It shows that they are unwilling to learn about who we are and why we deconverted. It shows that they don't give a damn about what we actually believed, only that they think their church is the Real True One and nobody else's was. It shows that they only care about themselves and nobody else. It is a very arrogant, assinine, rude, and hateful comment to make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 I realize this is probably on this list already, but I have to rant. I really hate it when people say: "You were not a Real True Christian ." It shows that they are unwilling to learn about who we are and why we deconverted. It shows that they don't give a damn about what we actually believed, only that they think their church is the Real True One and nobody else's was. It shows that they only care about themselves and nobody else. It is a very arrogant, assinine, rude, and hateful comment to make. I hear you - I even have good friend who speak like that, being still caught up in their fundy brainwashing. It's the most absolutely frustrating thing, and proof of arrogant minds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 He then went out and bought her $50 worth of groceries, left them on her doorstep, rang the doorbell and hid in the bushes waiting for her to answer the door. When she came out and saw the groceries on the step, she began to sing and dance and praise God saying, “Thank you Jesus! I knew you’d provide for me!” At that moment, the atheist jumped out and said, “There’s no god! I bought those groceries for you!” The woman stopped, looked at him and went back to singing and dancing and thanking God. The atheist was exasperated and said, “Didn’t you hear me? I said there IS no god! Jesus didn’t bring you those groceries! I did!” The old lady looked up to heaven and said “Thank you Jesus! Not only did you send me groceries, but you made the devil pay for them!” DAMN but I hate when they pull stupid shit like that. That's actually kinda clever. I mean, the guy was making an ass of himself by trying to prove that God doesn't exist that way. That's at the very least rude. A response like that seems to be only appropriate. Well of course it is. After all, the whole anecdote was created by a CHRISTIAN! But it's typical of a Christian to respond to anything that is not "of God" as being "of Satan." That's REALLY what I hate. It doesn't matter that there is a logical explanation for anything without needing to assign ownership of it to the devil...or any other supernatural entity...they're going to do it anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 Well of course it is. After all, the whole anecdote was created by a CHRISTIAN! Oh, and isn't it just like a Christian to paint the atheist as such an asshole? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 If the story was actually true and what’s been quoted previously was the preacher next door’s version, here is the tale you’d get from the atheist/agnostic who lived next door to the grocery buying atheist. I was talking with John yesterday about an incident between him and the old Christian lady that lives next door. He was telling me that he’s been hearing her crying at night and praying for god to help her because she’s in such bad financial shape right now. She’s apparently to the point where she doesn’t know where her next meal is coming from! He said that after hearing this, he just had to help her out. She’s been very mean-spirited to him in the past, since she knows his views on god and religion, and has flat out told him that he is going to burn in hell! He didn’t care though. He said that she is a fellow human being and no one else seems to be doing anything at all to help her. So he went to the grocery store earlier this week and bought her a weeks worth of groceries. He arrived home, carried the groceries to her door, rang the bell and waited. A few minutes later, she answered, her eyes red and swollen from crying. She saw it was him and her demeanor IMMEDIATELY changed to one of disdain. She tersely asked him what he wanted. He said, “I thought you might be able to use these” and set the grocery bags down on the porch. She then looked up to the sky and said, “Oh thank you Jesus for providing for me…” and then pointed cruelly at John and cackled,”…and for making the DEVIL pay for it!” He said he could only shake his head sadly and walk home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 Well of course it is. After all, the whole anecdote was created by a CHRISTIAN! Oh, and isn't it just like a Christian to paint the atheist as such an asshole? And, seriously, how many athiests or other non-xians do you know who would buy someone a week's worth of groceries just to prove to them their god doesn't exist? Xians just don't get it that everyone else is not obsessed with promoting their religious views like they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 I hate all the words that don't mean anything in particular. Like "redeemed." Have I been exchanged for face value? Did I save god a few cents on groceries? "Bless" Sometime seems to refer to warm feelings, sometimes to good luck. God blesses you, and you bless supper. Supper doesn't seem to benefit much. I don't get it. "Saved" What am I supposed to be saved from again? Or am I being put into an interest-bearing account? "Helpmeet" The word that supposedly explains why Eve isn't inferior, even though she's supposed to be subservient. It isn't even a real word! "Long suffering" Supposedly a virtue, but maybe just a hint that you need to take an asperin. And another thing, that "Jesus died for you" thing. Makes not sense. If god wanted so badly to forgive me, why not just do it? Xtians keep talking about how their sins are at the bottom of the ocean now... apparently intact, polluting the water, and waiting to resurface. And what's the relationship between dying and my sins anyhow? Why did you get me started on this?!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 "Listen to your inner voice" What a load of dung. Base your entire existance on feelings and throw reason out the window. Xtians voluntarily lobotomize themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyous1 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 "Listen to your inner voice" funny, my inner voice told me Yaweh was a myth -- and I listened. Another really irritating one, "I prayed about it, and God told me to [choose a sin: leave my wife and kids and run off with the babysitter; embezzle the elderly parishioners out of their retirement funds; beat my toddler to death for wetting the bed], and I found [insert bible verse here] to support my decision so I feel at peace about it even if the world doesn’t understand” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nirrti Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 "Serve God"Why does this make me think of that Twilight Zone episode with the Aliens who had the book about serving man? And then people eventually found out it was about serving man.....for dinner. "As for me and mine household"-Said by fundy parents as excuse to ram religion down kids' throats....or else. "I am the rightiousness of God!"-I'm one of god's chosen and have god-given authority to judge every person who doesn't share my belief system. "This is a test"- Said when going through rough time. Well, it must be a pop quiz because I sure wasn't given study materials ahead of time. "If you kill yourself, you'll go to hell"-Said by understanding mother when I told her I was depressed and didn't want to live and months later, by paramedic transporting me in an ambulance after suicidal attempt. "If we allow gay couples to have health insurance, anyone can just take their buddy and put them on their policy."- Said by Christians who use the excuse of people defrauding the system as reason not to allow for same-sex benefits. "Allowing gay couples to marry will destroy the institution of marriage."-Said by same Christians to justity banning gay marriage, even though a marriage certificate would lessen the chance of others defrauding insurance companies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 The comments from those Christians who don't take the time to understand what the theory of evolution actually says before they open their mouths to start criticizing it...for example: Me: "I'm sorry, I can no longer accept Creationism as truth. There is too much evidence in the world against it." My Ex: "So how do you think we came to be?" Me: "Well, I can't say that I know without a single solitary doubt, but the theory of evolution seems pretty solid." My Ex: "So you REALLY believe we all came from MONKEYS???" Me: ...uh... ...hmmm... ...do you really think... ...look...that's NOT what evolution says at all... My Ex: " I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I saw a quote that stood out to me in front of a church, thought that I would share. "If God had a wallet, would your picture be in it?" My first thought was, "Hell, his followers tried to make damn sure our money was in it!!!" One of the quotes that REALLY bothers me is "It was his will." I heard that I can not tell you how many freakin times when my mother died. I wanted to deck people in the chops for it too, believe me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest americanfoot Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 I can't stand those hoity-toity God Speaks billboards. "Feeling lost? My book is your map... -God" What pretentious prick took it upon him- or herself to spew the "word of God" on to all who drive by a billboard? If I took out space that said "My favorite fiction book is the Bible... -Joe Atheist" or "Think for yourself instead of reciting a book... -Mr. Reason" the billboard would be torn down in a day. Arrgghh!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 One of the quotes that REALLY bothers me is "It was his will." I heard that I can not tell you how many freakin times when my mother died. I wanted to deck people in the chops for it too, believe me. I have to agree; I execrate that line like little else. I loathe when Xians try to rub a phony salve made of dogshit into the wounds of the hurting by saying their god intended or permitted a death or unecessary suffering or tragic loss. It displays their intense brainwashing and need to use their religion as an excuse for everything. What kind of sick-ass "god" would permit someone's sweetie to die or a family to lose everything in a fire or flood and end up homeless? If that "god" actually cared about us, it would eradicate human suffering instead of letting it happen - or worse, causing it in the first place. With a "god" like that, who needs a devil? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 I saw a stupid Xian bumper sticker the other day. It said "The 10 Commandments are not multiple choice." Uh, wtf?? Makes no sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thunderbolt Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 I can't stand those hoity-toity God Speaks billboards. "Feeling lost? My book is your map... -God" What pretentious prick took it upon him- or herself to spew the "word of God" on to all who drive by a billboard? If I took out space that said "My favorite fiction book is the Bible... -Joe Atheist" or "Think for yourself instead of reciting a book... -Mr. Reason" the billboard would be torn down in a day. Arrgghh!!!! Welcome to the forums AF - have fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asimov Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 I saw a stupid Xian bumper sticker the other day. It said "The 10 Commandments are not multiple choice." Uh, wtf?? Makes no sense. That's because you DON'T HAVE A CHOICE TO FOLLOW THEM!!!! Obviously there's no free will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caretaker Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 how much of a hypocrite will yall see me, as a professed believer, see me as when I agree with yall on hating just about everything quoted... even as a Christian I can't stand them, how the faith got boiled down to a few cute little anecdotes I do not know... i'm sure its the same road that the church took to corruption. ...and now you are going to tell me that saying that was in itself something that Christians say that annoy you.... am I right? haha. Well, it certainly isn't the first time and it won't be the last time that a Christian and atheist agree on something. It just so happens that it doesn't happen often when it comes to things like the existence of God and truth of the Bible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NewVoyage Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 (1) I am always irked by the "Love the sin, hate the sinner" thing. And... (2) If you don't believe, you will burn in hell, and... (3) You just have to accept it on faith! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NewVoyage Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 Whenever a Christian throws the line out, "There are no atheists in foxholes," I reply, "You're absolutely right about that. Religion does best in situations of great emotional distress." I said this in a roomful of Christians once and you could hear a pindrop after I said it. They imemdiately dropped the subject and started talking about something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knowmad Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 Probably the most annoying thing xians say to me is, "Hey check out my robot arms !" They don't just come out and say that first...noooo first they say silly things like, " Hi how are you? then, " So what do you do for a living? Then and only then, when you're relaxed THEN they bring out the robot arms thing ! Why can't they just start with robot arms ? What's the big deal, what are they worried about? Do they think it will scare me away? It's all a bit too bloody inconsistant and deceptive for me ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jeanine Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Great threat...ok..i didn't read all of these yet...but i will...sorry if these have already been stated... my ex sis in law recently became completely engrossed in the church after ten years of our being best friends, me being a great aunt to her three children. she decided she could no longer associate with me as she "is a new Christian on wobbly legs". oh my ....that makes me want to puke...and i mean literally. before she cut me out of her life, i attended a 3 day xtian women's retreat with her (the most horrible thing i've been through...seriously...i was trying to crawl out of my skin) and it was hosted at a huge sprawling resort (i use that term VERY loosely). anyway..there were all kinds of different groups there...not just xtians...well...one of the xtian ladies told us all that there was a group here seeking spirituality but not seeking it through god (i had no idea what she was talking about) ....then she said, "Lord, we are soldiers, and we came this weekend with our spiritual armor and our swords." What??? these other people were just there to have a nice time with their clubs/groups. how very very scary, rude, arrogant, evil really. i was absolutely disgusted! funny thing is...before this..no one even knew i was a staunch atheist..( i never was christian) this is the event that triggered me to never keep quiet about my beliefs again...ever. "animals have no emotions" is one i've heard repeatedly from christians. "it was people responsible for violence under the name of god, not the bible!" i don't recall a group of atheists blowing themselves up along with dozens of innocents to display our belief in atheism..lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts