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Goodbye Jesus

Loopy Christian Arguments


chrisstavrous

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Do not depend upon your own understanding, but upon faith only.

 

Do not read anything but the bible.

 

Reason and logic are from the devil.

                                                                    bill

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The storm/disaster in that non-Christian country is because they worship the wrong God.

 

The storm/disaster in this Christian country is because the people need to come back to God.

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Ever heard this pathetic cop-out?

All prayers are answered. Yes or No or Not right now.

Give me a fucking break, will ya

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Has there been one person with aids that has been healed by god? I'd like to see that.

Why would God heal anybody from the very thing the fundamentalist claim is God's punishment for pissing off God?

Because gay people are not the only ones who contract the disease.

 

 

 

Well now you are giving me a realistic answer to the fundamentalist argument.  The really hateful ones who by chance have not contracted the disease will think that nobody gets it without deserving it for something.  They will think "secret sin".  Maybe that secret sin isn't homosexuality.  It could be looking at dirty pictures.  Maybe it is something else.  Religious people love to go on witch hunts, even if the exercise is just in their judgmental mind.  Maybe he went too far when he was fooling around with his girlfriend.  Maybe she didn't trust God.  They would make up anything to avoid blaming God.  One answer it can't be is that God is a jerk.  Another answer it can't be is there is no God.

 

 

It's just absurd though saying AIDS is a punishment for sin.

 

Because let us remember - "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."  Everybody is a sinner!

 

And if you want to punish people for sinful behaviour, it's a damn shame that God didn't make being a Nazi SS officer a condition that gave you AIDS.

 

But more than that, isn't hell supposed to be the punishment for sin? Why does God feel the need to kick people when they're down.

 

Also what kind of a jerk creates diseases in the first place, then creates an immune system to protect us from diseases, and then creates HIV to break down the immune system!!  Intellugent duzines!

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My brother said to me recently, "I can feel that God is real".   blink.png

 

That's just gas. :-)

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It's just absurd though saying AIDS is a punishment for sin.

 

Because let us remember - "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."  Everybody is a sinner!

 

And if you want to punish people for sinful behaviour, it's a damn shame that God didn't make being a Nazi SS officer a condition that gave you AIDS.

 

But more than that, isn't hell supposed to be the punishment for sin? Why does God feel the need to kick people when they're down.

 

Also what kind of a jerk creates diseases in the first place, then creates an immune system to protect us from diseases, and then creates HIV to break down the immune system!!  Intellugent duzines!

 

 

Ah, but there is loopiness for that as well.

 

God didn't want for us to be robots.  Would you like to be a robot?  Then Adam and Eve choose to sin and destroyed all the perfection of God's perfect design.  Yup, all the evil and bad luck in the whole universe was contained in that little box Pandora opened.  Err . . . I mean the other myth.

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It's just absurd though saying AIDS is a punishment for sin.

 

Because let us remember - "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."  Everybody is a sinner!

 

And if you want to punish people for sinful behaviour, it's a damn shame that God didn't make being a Nazi SS officer a condition that gave you AIDS.

 

But more than that, isn't hell supposed to be the punishment for sin? Why does God feel the need to kick people when they're down.

 

Also what kind of a jerk creates diseases in the first place, then creates an immune system to protect us from diseases, and then creates HIV to break down the immune system!!  Intellugent duzines!

 

 

Ah, but there is loopiness for that as well.

 

God didn't want for us to be robots.  Would you like to be a robot?  Then Adam and Eve choose to sin and destroyed all the perfection of God's perfect design.  Yup, all the evil and bad luck in the whole universe was contained in that little box Pandora opened.  Err . . . I mean the other myth.

 

 

That thing about the robots is funny. I've pointed it out to believers before. Adam and Eve weren't robots, but because they were deceived to eat the forbidden fruit by a talking snake, all humans after them are robots, programmed to piss off their god, giving him a need to save them from the programming and look like a big hero.

 

Usually when I mention this, they come up with something like: You think you know God, but our finite minds just can't fully understand him.

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When will I see god move?  Just have faith.

 

When will I see god move?  Good things come to those who wait.

 

When will I see god move?  Do not test the lord your god.

 

When will I see god move?  When you stop questioning.

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Why don't we pray for god to bring Uncle Don back to life? 

 

Because god already knows whether to raise him from the dead or not; that's not something we should pray about.

 

Oh, does god already know whether I need to pass my spelling test or not?

 

No, you should pray about it.

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If I don't get 5 million dollars by May, god's going to kill me (okay, I lied; but thanks for all the loot!).

 

If we don't worship god, the rocks and trees will cry out his praises.  We don't want that, do we?  (Except when those pesky evolutionarians come around, then we're happy to demonstrate just how creation points to the creator.)

 

The professor wrote "god is nowhere" on the chalkboard; the good christian student changed it to "god is now/here."  Checkmate atheist assholes!

 

Atheist says, "You can't disprove the existence of the Loch Ness Monster, so I believe in Nessie."  Christian responds, "You're an idiot."

 

If christianity is false, why do so many people, from all around the world, from all different walks of life, all experience the same loving god moving in their lives?

 

The Second Law of Thermodynamics disproves evolution.

 

If the book of revelations is false, then how do you explain credit cards? (Yes, I've actually heard this one; I didn't just make it up).

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The professor wrote "god is nowhere" on the chalkboard; the good christian student changed it to "god is now/here."  Checkmate atheist assholes!

 

 

Fancy that.  All of atheist logic and reasoning felled by a simple forward slash.

 

The mind boggles.

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Why doesn't god heal Aunt Mary?  Because god's ways aren't our ways.

 

Why doesn't god prove himself to the Jews and Muslims?  Because god's ways aren't our ways.

 

Why doesn't god save Cousin Eric?  Because god's ways aren't our ways.

 

Why doesn't god feed all the starving children in Africa?  Because god's ways aren't our ways.

 

Why doesn't god save people from floods and typhoons and whirlwinds and tsunamis?  Because god's ways aren't our ways.

 

Why doesn't god find parents for all the orphans?  Because god's ways aren't our ways.

 

Why doesn't god... do anything?  Because god's ways aren't our ways.

 

So you see, the things that we would do, out of simple compassion, are the very things god will not do.  his ways are not our ways; I therefore assert that our ways are better.

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The professor wrote "god is nowhere" on the chalkboard; the good christian student changed it to "god is now/here."  Checkmate atheist assholes!

 

 

Fancy that.  All of atheist logic and reasoning felled by a simple forward slash.

 

The mind boggles.

 

 

The lord uses the foolish things to confound the wise. :)

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god's plan didn't happen for you because you were impatient and got ahead of him.

 

god's plan didn't happen for you because you had secret sin in your life.

 

god's plan didn't happen for you because you didn't commit yourself enough.

 

god's plan didn't happen for you because you didn't have enough faith.

 

god's plan didn't happen for you because your weakness and frailty kept him from being strong in you.

 

Maybe god's plan didn't happen for me because god never had a plan in the first place!

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The professor wrote "god is nowhere" on the chalkboard; the good christian student changed it to "god is now/here."  Checkmate atheist assholes!

 

 

Fancy that.  All of atheist logic and reasoning felled by a simple forward slash.

 

The mind boggles.

 

So many inspirational accounts of Christian students who confound arrogant atheist professors.  I'm almost ready to reconvert.

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The professor wrote "god is nowhere" on the chalkboard; the good christian student changed it to "god is now/here."  Checkmate atheist assholes!

 

 

Fancy that.  All of atheist logic and reasoning felled by a simple forward slash.

 

The mind boggles.

 

So many inspirational accounts of Christian students who confound arrogant atheist professors.  I'm almost ready to reconvert.

 

 

The one about the unbroken piece of chalk is the one that nearly reconverted me.

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Have we done Revelation loopiness yet?

 

 

Jesus didn't return when predicted because that prediction was made by a man and no man knows the day or the hour.  But Jesus will return any day now.

 

Don't do the newest payment method because it is the Mark of the Beast and anybody who uses it will lose their salvation.  

 

Everything keeps getting worse and worse.  Don't check the statistics, take it on faith.

 

The End Times are upon us (yet again) so do your Doomsday prepping and follow me without question as if I am a cult leader.

 

Revelation isn't nonsense.  It's allegory that contains a secret code so only those who are suppose to know what it means will know what it means.

 

Satan knows he can't win against God so Satan started this war in Heaven and Satan is going to keep fighting.  Because Satan knows he can't win.  That is why he never surrenders or asks for forgiveness.

 

All the atheists are going to watch Christians fly into the sky during the rapture and then God's wrath will be unleashed when the atheists realize God is real and they want to change.  Because God loves them but God is justice.

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Haha, yes.  I do find it funny that all through history every generation thinks that they are the last generation.  Displaying as ever the intense arrogance of Christian attitudes.

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Talk to Ordinary Clay; he gets his info directly from god.     bill

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Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you.

 

(until you leave him or forsake him)

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Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you.

 

(until you leave him or forsake him)

 

Even though you feel completely alone and forsaken, it's just your imagination. Jesus is really there. No, really. Despite everything you feel, that's wrong, Jesus is totally there.

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Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you.

 

(until you leave him or forsake him)

 

Even though you feel completely alone and forsaken, it's just your imagination. Jesus is really there. No, really. Despite everything you feel, that's wrong, Jesus is totally there.

 

 

You wouldn't feel that way if you had more faith.

 

You wouldn't feel that way if there weren't secret sins in your life.

 

You wouldn't feel that way if you really trusted in god.

 

You wouldn't feel that way if you'd let god touch you.

 

You wouldn't feel that way if you hadn't built up strongholds in your heart.

 

You wouldn't feel that way if you hadn't allowed satan access to your spirit.

 

You wouldn't feel that way if god were real... wait, oops.

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Jesus is coming soon!  -- Said right after his death

 

Jesus is coming soon! -- Said every other year since then, on and on, 2000+ years now

 

BUT!!!   JESUS IS COMING SOON!!!!!!

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Jesus is coming soon!  -- Said right after his death

 

Jesus is coming soon! -- Said every other year since then, on and on, 2000+ years now

 

BUT!!!   JESUS IS COMING SOON!!!!!!

But but but....

A god day is like a thousand years

So u die before god's ever coming

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Jesus is coming soon!  -- Said right after his death

 

Jesus is coming soon! -- Said every other year since then, on and on, 2000+ years now

 

BUT!!!   JESUS IS COMING SOON!!!!!!

But but but....

A god day is like a thousand years

So u die before god's ever coming

 

Oh damn, I forgot that one!  Of course, it's only been two god days since Jesus died.  Yes, Jesus is coming soon!

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