Deidre Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 I admire how far you've come on this path and your journey is inspiring, Antlerman. You know so much! Thanks for offering this today, I bought a "special" candle for meditating today. I have a Buddha elephant candle holder that I bought a few years ago. It sits on my tub with no candle, waiting to be used. An elephant in Buddhism means "mental strength," which is what I seek. What kinds of Buddhism symbols do you have in your house? Just wondering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 My understanding is Nirvana frees us from ourselves, from our desires so that we are just as happy regardless of external circumstances. Happiness isnt dependent on externals so you are to be just as happy broke as you wld be were you a millionaire. Ive always heard nirvana is not focused on self because focusing on self can blind you from the bigger picture. you can liken it too walking while looking at your shoes blocks you from seeing the world around you properly. We are naturally self centered always focus ed on me. Babies without acception are always thinking about themselves. Selfless concern for others is part of growing up. living a selfish life doesnt lead to peace and harmony. Buddha said desire leads to suffering. Nirvana is freedom from want; freedom from suffering, freedom from self. You seem to have a decent understanding Matt, of Buddhism. Are you practicing any form of it right now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I admire how far you've come on this path and your journey is inspiring, Antlerman. You know so much! Thanks for offering this today, I bought a "special" candle for meditating today. I have a Buddha elephant candle holder that I bought a few years ago. It sits on my tub with no candle, waiting to be used. An elephant in Buddhism means "mental strength," which is what I seek. Excellent. If I haven't offered my advice yet on this, set aside a space for meditation. Try placing the candle and/or icon on a table in front of you, whether you are seated on a chair or the floor. Dim the lights in the room. Set everything up with intention. Your job is to 'create a space'. This prepares the mind for meditation, making the activity special or "sacred" as you may come to know it. As you finish, you 'open the circle'. In other words you ground it, and put it away for the next use, then leave the space to go about your day. Creating space like this is important towards focusing attention. This is the power of any ritual; to set one's intention towards the work. One little word of wisdom may help at some point in your future as your practice develops. "Purity of intention collapses time". You may eventually come to know what that means. For now, intention is at the core of any practice, no matter what form it takes. What kinds of Buddhism symbols do you have in your house? Just wondering. I primarily use lotus tealight holders made with the lapis shell. The lotus blossom is extremely meaningful to me symbolically. I also have a statue of White Tara, and the Medicine Buddha. I also us mala beads. Those are very powerful as tools as they provide a tactile point of focus for the mind, which also symbolizes our intent. You may use those for counting mantras, or to hold in offering, or such symbolic activity. I have a few of those made of semi-precious stone, such as carnelian, jade, and crystal. Again, I do not view these superstitiously as have some inherent 'properties' that do magic (New Age ideas). Rather all of these are simply things which symbolically work for you, to connect you to your practice, to help center, focus, and ground the mind, or open you. It can be anything you find that you imbue with meaning. It could be a milk bottle, for that matter, as long as when you focus on that object it evokes something in you that opens you to a space in meditation. Here's a site I've gotten a couple of my malas from I'd recommend as they're well made and the price is good: http://www.buddhistmala.com/ The ones with the adjustable knots are good, listed under the Buddhist Mala section. Also, you can use some incense for your space so long as no one objects to the smoke they produce, or heated oils as an alternative, or just some conducive oil on your skin if that helps. Not necessary, but helpful with good appropriate scents, such as Nag Champa. I could offer lots of recommendation on incense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Having cast off the shell of Christianity, your authentic self is becoming more expressive. Your conscious mind, your self-image is catching up, aligning with your authentic self.I really like this. I think it's almost better for us to not say we "deconverted", which suggests turning back the clock to 'before Christianity'. In reality, we've outgrown it. That's a good thing. It served its purpose, and now we take what's good and cast off the unusable bits which no longer fit the emerging body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 thanks antlerman and human, for your encouragement, support, and advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 You're welcome. My pleasure. Anytime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orbit Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Dierdre, I have objects on my meditation altar, but they aren't specifically Buddhist. I've got 2 white candles, incense, a Japanese bowl bell, and evergreen clippings. This stuff serves as symbols, and puts me in a calm mind. You could put anything that has meaning for you in your meditation space. It does help to have that dedicated space, even if it's just a little table in your bedroom. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Antlerman, Orbit, and others who have shared their experiences here, I just wanted to say thank you. I like how you say, that we have 'out grown' Christianity, Antlerman. Yes, that's how it feels. I don't care for the term 'deconverted,' but if that's the only wording that describes it. lol Ever since I've left Christianity, and especially since becoming outspoken with telling others that I'm an atheist, I felt a lot of relief. Christianity weighed me down a lot. Made me feel burdened. And made me feel like I had to accept any and all behaviors from others. I recently broke up with someone, a very nice someone. I've dated a lot of bad someones. Before him, I was in a horrible, abusive relationship. Not until like two months ago maybe, did he finally stop bothering me. It wasn't love, abuse is never love. And before him, I dated another jerk. And then a most wonderful guy comes into my life, and we break up because I can't see myself ever marrying. I share this, because between deconverting, and all this, my life over the past few years, has been on a roller coaster. If you were to meet me, you would think everything was fine. I have a good job, good friends, overall, life's good. But, when it comes to relationships, I can't seem to get it together. And I can't ignore it anymore. That's the thing. It's great when you can sweep your issues under a rug, but eventually you trip over the rug, and there's no more room to sweep anything else under it. And I share that, because this all came to a surface when meditating last night, and tonight. I'm getting better at being still, but...something great happened, and that was the answer perhaps to why I can't seem to get my personal life together. And that is fear. The word that popped into my head during meditating, was fear. And when I learn to let go of that, things will be clearer, and my life will be more ''authentic''. Fear isn't always a bad thing, I mean, it's a component of evolution...fight or flight. A response to keep ourselves safe. But, fear can also be unhealthy. And if I'm honest, that is what holds me back from being free. Antlerman, you sharing your experiences here has helped me immensely, you don't even know. You have inspired someone to try to get past...her past. lol And try to live a better life, not just for me, but for those around me. And my candle and mediation space is amazing. Thank you for inspiring me and helping me to better understand how to view all of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 ... And I share that, because this all came to a surface when meditating last night, and tonight. I'm getting better at being still, but...something great happened, and that was the answer perhaps to why I can't seem to get my personal life together. And that is fear. The word that popped into my head during meditating, was fear. And when I learn to let go of that, things will be clearer, and my life will be more ''authentic'' .... Deidre, I am happy for you. It seems you are on a good path. You are very articulate and apparently quite self-reflective. And it seems now you have found the resolve to turn and face your own shadow. And to look deep within and know yourself. Human Hello Human Thank you for this. You have been extremely helpful in this thread, as well. I admire everyone's journey. Isn't it interesting how we are all here on this site, with all this in common, but we are also so different? You know, being fearful isn't who we really are. So, that's the part that has struck me during meditation. That my 'truest' self? Isn't this fearful person. Underneath that, is where the freedom comes in, me thinks. lol Do you fear anything? If you want to share... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 And I share that, because this all came to a surface when meditating last night, and tonight. I'm getting better at being still, but...something great happened, and that was the answer perhaps to why I can't seem to get my personal life together. And that is fear. The word that popped into my head during meditating, was fear. And when I learn to let go of that, things will be clearer, and my life will be more ''authentic''.Oh wow. Yes, you just heard my number one "lesson" that occurs within meditation for me all the time. It just hit me hearing you say this, as it is a primary thing that comes up for me always. There is yet another level of letting go, another fear of loss, another fear of losing our sense of control, another 'what if', another release into the unknown. It doesn't end. But in each letting go, you find more and more of yourself. If this is happening for you already, all I can say is you are on your path. But don't look for a destination point, an end to it, a point of arrival. That is not the goal. It's all about unfolding yourself, from one point of self-knowledge to the next. And then to the next. And the next beyond it. I wish to share something with you that may be a guidance for you. It's something the Buddha said that deeply resonates with me in my own path. Let its words penetrate your depths: Wanting nothing, With all your heart Stop the stream. When the world dissolves Everything becomes clear. Go beyond This way or that way, To the farther shore Where the world dissolves And everything becomes clear. Beyond this shore And the father shore, Beyond the beyond, Where there is no beginning, No end. Without fear, go. Antlerman, you sharing your experiences here has helped me immensely, you don't even know. You have inspired someone to try to get past...her past. lol And try to live a better life, not just for me, but for those around me.I haven't participated around here much lately as I'm focused on other things these days, but I popped in to look around and saw your thread. I'm happy I did. This makes me very happy you have been benefitted. I wish you the Peace and Knowledge you desire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 And I share that, because this all came to a surface when meditating last night, and tonight. I'm getting better at being still, but...something great happened, and that was the answer perhaps to why I can't seem to get my personal life together. And that is fear. The word that popped into my head during meditating, was fear. And when I learn to let go of that, things will be clearer, and my life will be more ''authentic''.Oh wow. Yes, you just heard my number one "lesson" that occurs within meditation for me all the time. It just hit me hearing you say this, as it is a primary thing that comes up for me always. There is yet another level of letting go, another fear of loss, another fear of losing our sense of control, another 'what if', another release into the unknown. It doesn't end. But in each letting go, you find more and more of yourself. If this is happening for you already, all I can say is you are on your path. But don't look for a destination point, an end to it, a point of arrival. That is not the goal. It's all about unfolding yourself, from one point of self-knowledge to the next. And then to the next. And the next beyond it. I wish to share something with you that may be a guidance for you. It's something the Buddha said that deeply resonates with me in my own path. Let its words penetrate your depths: Wanting nothing, With all your heart Stop the stream. When the world dissolves Everything becomes clear. Go beyond This way or that way, To the farther shore Where the world dissolves And everything becomes clear. Beyond this shore And the father shore, Beyond the beyond, Where there is no beginning, No end. Without fear, go. Antlerman, you sharing your experiences here has helped me immensely, you don't even know. You have inspired someone to try to get past...her past. lol And try to live a better life, not just for me, but for those around me.I haven't participated around here much lately as I'm focused on other things these days, but I popped in to look around and saw your thread. I'm happy I did. This makes me very happy you have been benefitted. I wish you the Peace and Knowledge you desire. Oh, I really like that! Thank you so much! I'm glad you popped in here too haha This has been a great exchange, and hopefully others can glean something from it, as well. You know, something that struck me the past two nights of meditation, was not just the fear part, but that I thought THAT was my authentic self. Ever hear people talk of someone who is a total jerk, and they say...'welp, that's just the way bob is.' lol No, that's not who Bob really is. Bob is the guy underneath all that he does to compensate for what he won't allow to come to the surface. That...is what this journey is about, I'm realizing. And for me personally, I'm not this fearful person that I've talked myself into thinking I am all these years. When I don't make decisions out of fear, that is who I really am. So, here's something. I have two friends who I honestly don't care for...they are gossipy, etc. But, we have been friends, so to speak. I have decided to take a break from them, and told them this today. I'm sure they'll gossip about me, now. I made a decision NOT based on fear. Wouldn't it be great, if all our decisions could be made without any fear? Thank you again, and I hope you are doing well, these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Too bad our fears aren't like spiders; we could set them down, and poof...they'd just crawl away. Thank you for sharing that. Have u seen Australian spiders? The Huntsman I think it's called? It is the reason I will never go visit there. lol Serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 la la la Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 la la la Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 does that mean you're distracting yourself rather than face your fear? la la la in reference to spider-talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Eye guess. You should change your username to Spiderman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 quote name="Deidre32" post="987587" timestamp="1408683836"]Eye guess. You should change your username to Spiderman. That is an awesome idea. staff? can you change my name? I'm serious! See how influential you are Deidre. Silly man is silly ^^ It would be kewl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Spider-Man, do you fear anything else? Did you conquering your fear of spiders help you in other areas? Okay, I have a quick question for the group. The term "Mara." I was reading that this translates to "evil one." I don't believe in evil, evil spirits, or Satan. Curious as to how to view the meaning of mara in everyday life? TIA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orbit Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I always understood the Mara story symbolically rather than literally. Mara represents desires, and desires are the source of suffering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 So, is it 'wrong' to want? How do we decipher a healthy want from one that is not? Surely, to want...is a human characteristic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orbit Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 A "desire" really means that you're grasping at something; that you've got a hangup about it. Normal desires are fine; it's when they become too important to you that you are thrown out of balance. If you go back to the original Sanskrit, what gets translated into English as "desire" is really more like the word "clinging". It's when you cling to things, when you try to force them, that you are sabotaging your peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 A "desire" really means that you're grasping at something; that you've got a hangup about it. Normal desires are fine; it's when they become too important to you that you are thrown out of balance. If you go back to the original Sanskrit, what gets translated into English as "desire" is really more like the word "clinging". It's when you cling to things, when you try to force them, that you are sabotaging your peace. Orbit, thank you! Love this man! He has a way of bringing images to mind, that just makes concepts more understandable. I wasn't fully 'getting' clinging, and desire, etc...and how to let it go. But, this makes sense, now. I'm part of the stream, I'm not a 'cork' in it. The imagery of falling and trying to cling to a rock falling alongside me is actually comical, when we think about it. The rock can't do anything to help me, really, likewise, the things/people/situations we cling to in this life, can't do much for us. On another note, I've had some good meditation sessions this weekend, and what surfaced to my mind was letting go of people who don't really edify my life, but rather try to subtract from it. The ''old me'' (especially during my Xtian days) would hang onto all kinds of toxic relationships, situations, and people...for whatever my reasons were. But, I see people for who they are now, and I sense when someone isn't genuine, and when I do, I have to let them go. Trusting one's instincts, trusting one's inner voice, is what part of this journey is about, too. The authenticity of who we are comes out when we can fully learn to trust ourselves, as long as what we are feeling is based in rationality. Keep moving forward........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 I wholeheartedly agree with all you're saying here, but in this case, there's ample ''evidence,'' that what I'm ''feeling'' is accurate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deidre Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 I hear you. In this case, this person reminds me of a few others I've known who like to play what we have come to term 'head games.' Example would be, the person desires my friendship, or so they say. We start developing a friendship. Then, the games begin on that person's part, pulling away, sarcastic comments but pretending they are compliments, etc. I decide to back away, then the person apologizes, and asks for another chance. Then, the friendship begins again...and then, the person goes right back to the same behaviors. lol It's like, is this real life? I don't have the time, energy or desire to fool with people like this, anymore. Had it not been for these times of meditation and reflection, I'd still be tolerating these antics. Not sure what people like that get out of all those games they play, but they're not going to play me anymore. Nuff said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 I have to say I'm somewhat astounded how quickly these sorts of insights are surfacing for you. It seems you were more than ready for this next step. Many people meditate for years before anything opens for them, "It's relaxing" is the common response of many. And maybe that's all they were looking for. For those like you and me, it is as I said, all about bringing your intention into it. Within my first few weeks of daily meditation I was astounded at what was uncovered. I said to my partner, "I feel healed, and I didn't even realize there was anything wrong!" I then remarked, "Its feels like I just went through five years of intense psychotherapy in less the five weeks." I then too puzzled how I could have taken to it like a duck to water, whereas others have be meditating for years without this sort of result. Her comment to me was classic. "You forget you've already been on this path for many, many years. You just hadn't meditated yet". And that's the truth. It was the missing piece in all the things I was looking at trying to "figure things out". In reality, through meditation, things figure themselves out. BTW, I have a meditation CD suggestion for you that I used myself today. Never mind his New Age leanings, he writes some really effect music conducive for meditation. No magic, just a good meditative mind put into music. This has 3, 25 minute peices that are really great for meditation, I've found: http://www.amazon.com/Celestial-Reiki-2-Jonathan-Goldman/dp/B0006BGWTG/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1408907205&sr=8-4&keywords=celestial+reiki+cd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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