London Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 You're right I should have gone with a female god, that really would have pissed the sexists off. Well, if I ever find myself in that situation again, a female god it will be. I was going to do satan originally but I knew the mods would take the other peoples side. And it really wasn't worth the fight over it. And I didn't want anything from xianity so I chose greek mythology. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 On a gaming board we had a fundie whose sig was "Jesus loves you!" So mine got quietly changed to "Jesus may love me, but so does Apollo, and he's a hottie." It's not original to me, I'm afraid, but it captured how I felt about things. Years later I heard some of the guys from that game board are still using that sig elsewhere. I'm declaring victory. The only struggle I see, besides this posters struggle with reality, is the struggle against good grammar. I think this sums up christianity pretty well. If it summed up Christianity the struggle would be against good grammar and a potluck table. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 On a gaming board we had a fundie whose sig was "Jesus loves you!" So mine got quietly changed to "Jesus may love me, but so does Apollo, and he's a hottie." It's not original to me, I'm afraid, but it captured how I felt about things. Years later I heard some of the guys from that game board are still using that sig elsewhere. I'm declaring victory. It would have been too funny if you wrote "Jesus never loved me, it was just a one night stand." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 On a gaming board we had a fundie whose sig was "Jesus loves you!" So mine got quietly changed to "Jesus may love me, but so does Apollo, and he's a hottie." It's not original to me, I'm afraid, but it captured how I felt about things. Years later I heard some of the guys from that game board are still using that sig elsewhere. I'm declaring victory. It would have been too funny if you wrote "Jesus never loved me, it was just a one night stand." Or how about, "I gave myself to Jesus, but now he never calls." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 On a gaming board we had a fundie whose sig was "Jesus loves you!" So mine got quietly changed to "Jesus may love me, but so does Apollo, and he's a hottie." It's not original to me, I'm afraid, but it captured how I felt about things. Years later I heard some of the guys from that game board are still using that sig elsewhere. I'm declaring victory. It would have been too funny if you wrote "Jesus never loved me, it was just a one night stand." Or how about, "I gave myself to Jesus, but now he never calls." I love it. Maybe all us non-believers could adopt the sig, "Jesus dumped me." That pretty much ends the "relationship". LOL 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 On a gaming board we had a fundie whose sig was "Jesus loves you!" So mine got quietly changed to "Jesus may love me, but so does Apollo, and he's a hottie." It's not original to me, I'm afraid, but it captured how I felt about things. Years later I heard some of the guys from that game board are still using that sig elsewhere. I'm declaring victory. It would have been too funny if you wrote "Jesus never loved me, it was just a one night stand." Or how about, "I gave myself to Jesus, but now he never calls." I love it. Maybe all us non-believers could adopt the sig, "Jesus dumped me." That pretty much ends the "relationship". LOL I'd love to write something witty along the lines of "Use protection. Mary and God had a one night stand. Christianity was the result." Not sure how well that would go over.... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 On a gaming board we had a fundie whose sig was "Jesus loves you!" So mine got quietly changed to "Jesus may love me, but so does Apollo, and he's a hottie." It's not original to me, I'm afraid, but it captured how I felt about things. Years later I heard some of the guys from that game board are still using that sig elsewhere. I'm declaring victory. It would have been too funny if you wrote "Jesus never loved me, it was just a one night stand." Or how about, "I gave myself to Jesus, but now he never calls." I love it. Maybe all us non-believers could adopt the sig, "Jesus dumped me." That pretty much ends the "relationship". LOL Nope. I dumped him. (He was abusive and way too needy.) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dyanaprajna0 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 "Are you on fire for Jeezus? Stop the itching with god-be-gone. God-be-gone stops the infection of those drunken one night stands with everyone's favorite deity." That would be an awesome commercial. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 From a fundy: The Hebrew words for ‘suitable helper’ could also equally read ‘a power equal.' Husbands, when we consider the relations we have with our wives in light of these words, how should we then treat them? Faceook saves the day, six thousand years too late! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Honest Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 This is SO nonsensical that I had to post it. This was posted on our former church's wall (by someone in church leadership). Prophetic addendum from Joe Blow---Pastor BlahBlah accidentally spelled "woes" like this: "whoas" on a slide and Joe Blow got a word out of it! Here it is: You are the answer to the worlds – WHO AS designed, were to worship and commune with God – but through the years – have become their own god – by worshiping things instead of God. Focus is required to change the vision of this group of people – for a lack of knowledge – the people perish! So, no pressure, but what are you doing with the very gift that God planted inside you – when are you going to stand up, speak up and show up? Gifts are not for re-gifting – they were meant for you to enjoy and share with others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 This is SO nonsensical that I had to post it. This was posted on our former church's wall (by someone in church leadership). Prophetic addendum from Joe Blow---Pastor BlahBlah accidentally spelled "woes" like this: "whoas" on a slide and Joe Blow got a word out of it! Here it is: You are the answer to the worlds – WHO AS designed, were to worship and commune with God – but through the years – have become their own god – by worshiping things instead of God. Focus is required to change the vision of this group of people – for a lack of knowledge – the people perish! So, no pressure, but what are you doing with the very gift that God planted inside you – when are you going to stand up, speak up and show up? Gifts are not for re-gifting – they were meant for you to enjoy and share with others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inqui Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 This is SO nonsensical that I had to post it. This was posted on our former church's wall (by someone in church leadership). Prophetic addendum from Joe Blow---Pastor BlahBlah accidentally spelled "woes" like this: "whoas" on a slide and Joe Blow got a word out of it! Here it is: You are the answer to the worlds – WHO AS designed, were to worship and commune with God – but through the years – have become their own god – by worshiping things instead of God. Focus is required to change the vision of this group of people – for a lack of knowledge – the people perish! So, no pressure, but what are you doing with the very gift that God planted inside you – when are you going to stand up, speak up and show up? Gifts are not for re-gifting – they were meant for you to enjoy and share with others. My head is spinning. I need to sit down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen652 Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 what an idiot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivingLife Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 This is SO nonsensical that I had to post it. This was posted on our former church's wall (by someone in church leadership). Prophetic addendum from Joe Blow---Pastor BlahBlah accidentally spelled "woes" like this: "whoas" on a slide and Joe Blow got a word out of it! Here it is: You are the answer to the worlds – WHO AS designed, were to worship and commune with God – but through the years – have become their own god – by worshiping things instead of God. Focus is required to change the vision of this group of people – for a lack of knowledge – the people perish! So, no pressure, but what are you doing with the very gift that God planted inside you – when are you going to stand up, speak up and show up? Gifts are not for re-gifting – they were meant for you to enjoy and share with others. Is it just me or are there a suppressed sexual subliminal message there? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 This is SO nonsensical that I had to post it. This was posted on our former church's wall (by someone in church leadership). Prophetic addendum from Joe Blow---Pastor BlahBlah accidentally spelled "woes" like this: "whoas" on a slide and Joe Blow got a word out of it! Here it is: You are the answer to the worlds – WHO AS designed, were to worship and commune with God – but through the years – have become their own god – by worshiping things instead of God. Focus is required to change the vision of this group of people – for a lack of knowledge – the people perish! So, no pressure, but what are you doing with the very gift that God planted inside you – when are you going to stand up, speak up and show up? Gifts are not for re-gifting – they were meant for you to enjoy and share with others. Translation: Yeah, I totally meant to do that. I didn't spell anything wrong! *shifty eyes* 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dyanaprajna0 Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 This is SO nonsensical that I had to post it. This was posted on our former church's wall (by someone in church leadership). Prophetic addendum from Joe Blow---Pastor BlahBlah accidentally spelled "woes" like this: "whoas" on a slide and Joe Blow got a word out of it! Here it is: You are the answer to the worlds – WHO AS designed, were to worship and commune with God – but through the years – have become their own god – by worshiping things instead of God. Focus is required to change the vision of this group of people – for a lack of knowledge – the people perish! So, no pressure, but what are you doing with the very gift that God planted inside you – when are you going to stand up, speak up and show up? Gifts are not for re-gifting – they were meant for you to enjoy and share with others. Is it just me or are there a suppressed sexual subliminal message there? I find that to be the case with most things xtians say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dyanaprajna0 Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Here's the newest one on mine: I would like to ask everybody tonight to please pray tonight about tomorrows election. We really need a true leader in this country who has the fear of God. Somebody who isn't afraid to stand up and say they are a Christian. Somebody who isn't afraid to stand up to the other countries and show them we are America and we are not scared of any country. Somebody who has some backbone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRoper Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Here's the newest one on mine: I would like to ask everybody tonight to please pray tonight about tomorrows election. We really need a true leader in this country who has the fear of God. Somebody who isn't afraid to stand up and say they are a Christian. Somebody who isn't afraid to stand up to the other countries and show them we are America and we are not scared of any country. Somebody who has some backbone. Yeah not that Muslim asshole we have now, who pretends to be a Christian and killed Osama Bin Laden. Really, how long will these people be with us? They totally destroyed the Republican party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scitsofreaky Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 My uncle today: My friend, Theresa Ross DiPerna just commented about watching a documentary about the women of Afghanistan, and she is crying her eyes out. The kicker for me is that liberal women, I'm thinking the NOW crowd, use women's rights as a mantra for their existence . . . and then they so easily jump ship to the cry for allowing Sharia Law under the pretense of tolerance. Oh please, it is as if they bent over the table in a poker game while bluff betting four aces, only to show they don't really even have a pair. That just proves to me NOW never gave a Rat's rosy bottom about women to begin with. When will the world see, evangelical Christian women (and some evangelical men) are the real protectors of women and girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Here's the newest one on mine: I would like to ask everybody tonight to please pray tonight about tomorrows election. We really need a true leader in this country who has the fear of God. Somebody who isn't afraid to stand up and say they are a Christian. Somebody who isn't afraid to stand up to the other countries and show them we are America and we are not scared of any country. Somebody who has some backbone. So, you would want God to personally intervene, destroy every voter's free will by forcing them, unwittingly, to vote for the candidate you like? You want god to create millions of mind-numbed, thoughtless robots? oh wait, he already did. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marmot Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 My uncle today: My friend, Theresa Ross DiPerna just commented about watching a documentary about the women of Afghanistan, and she is crying her eyes out. The kicker for me is that liberal women, I'm thinking the NOW crowd, use women's rights as a mantra for their existence . . . and then they so easily jump ship to the cry for allowing Sharia Law under the pretense of tolerance. Oh please, it is as if they bent over the table in a poker game while bluff betting four aces, only to show they don't really even have a pair. That just proves to me NOW never gave a Rat's rosy bottom about women to begin with. When will the world see, evangelical Christian women (and some evangelical men) are the real protectors of women and girls. Either I'm dense or that drivel is incoherent. Or both. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marmot Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Here's the newest one on mine: I would like to ask everybody tonight to please pray tonight about tomorrows election. We really need a true leader in this country who has the fear of God. Somebody who isn't afraid to stand up and say they are a Christian. Somebody who isn't afraid to stand up to the other countries and show them we are America and we are not scared of any country. Somebody who has some backbone. So, you would want God to personally intervene, destroy every voter's free will by forcing them, unwittingly, to vote for the candidate you like? You want god to create millions of mind-numbed, thoughtless robots? oh wait, he already did. I would actually consider voting for Santorum in the primaries because I think he does damage to Christianity every time he opens up his mouth. He is also less electable than Romney. But then I have nightmares about a scenario in which he actually could get elected, and I decide it would be a bad idea. God seems to have really gone soft in his old age. I mean, he destroyed cities like Sodom and Gomorrah for a little debauchery, and turned Lot's wife into a pillar of salt just for looking back at it...and now he can't even have his guy win a primary? Man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRoper Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I would actually consider voting for Santorum in the primaries because I think he does damage to Christianity every time he opens up his mouth. He is also less electable than Romney. But then I have nightmares about a scenario in which he actually could get elected, and I decide it would be a bad idea. God seems to have really gone soft in his old age. I mean, he destroyed cities like Sodom and Gomorrah for a little debauchery, and turned Lot's wife into a pillar of salt just for looking back at it...and now he can't even have his guy win a primary? Man. High-larious! I know what you mean. There is a part of me that thinks, I cannot believe this party is not getting behind Romney who may actually be able to compete with Obama. And then the other part of me that thinks, good put Santorum forward and lose in a brutal fashion. I really don't think he can win, PA shit-canned his ass. But I do think if your critical listening skills are off, and you are just looking at the guy, he seems like a nice guy, like your next door neighbor - maybe that is why people like him? But what do I know? Less and less every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Santorum looks WAY too much like the South Park version of the Hardy Boys for my taste. There is something profoundly Not Quite Right about that fellow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Today's offering, and from a young family member, I'm ashamed to say. "If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it." Puke. I call BS on that one. At least to my wife, God got me into pharmacy school But he sure didnt get me out. She still wonders about thta one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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