What's The One Bit Of Christianese You Never Want To Hear Again?

[Guest Valk0010]

"thinking worldly"

 

followed by something that I only heard once ever, but struck me as insane.

 

"Masturbation by men degrades women."

[Zephie]

@ Will02 that blows. Unfortunately I've been in that situation before and it was totally damaging...although the person I was with was totally self-destructive. I've since realized that. Of course, now I'm dating and living with a wonderful man who is an atheist

[Positivist]

She forced me to break it off.

...I still feel guilty about it because she didn't deserve that. I feel like it's one of the worst things I ever did and I can't forgive myself even though I was coerced into it.

This happened to me too (similar). I threw away true love to avoid being "unequally yoked".

 

"Don't be unequally yoked" is ChristianSpeak for "don't hang out with people who will tell you the Emperor is not wearing clothes" (he's not...).

[Zephie]

She forced me to break it off.

...I still feel guilty about it because she didn't deserve that. I feel like it's one of the worst things I ever did and I can't forgive myself even though I was coerced into it.

This happened to me too (similar). I threw away true love to avoid being "unequally yoked".

 

"Don't be unequally yoked" is ChristianSpeak for "don't hang out with people who will tell you the Emperor is not wearing clothes" (he's not...).

 

Ugh. That whole "unequally yoked" is bullshit.

[lunaticheathen]

"thinking worldly"

 

followed by something that I only heard once ever, but struck me as insane.

 

"Masturbation by men degrades women."

 

Because it is insane. Also, if they're so fucking obsessed with having babies, masturbation by men keeps lively sperm at ready, and by women makes them more receptive. They really need to learn some fucking anatomy.

 

Also, Stryper, not lately, but that swear phrase is just too good to pass up.

[Reprobate]

The fraud they call "friendship evangelism"

[Akheia]

I had to Google that, Reprobate, and I'm in shock that this is even a concept, let alone a practice. It sounds terribly deceptive to me.

[Will02]

Will02, that must have been so awful to go through Did you ever talk to the girl again to make things right between you two?

 

It was awful. It hurt me just as much as it hurt her and it caused me to go into major depression for about 6 months. Religion brought me nothing but misery my whole life and it took away the little bit of happiness that I had. I never did get a chance to apologize for what happened, and I wouldn't blame her for not wanting to talk to me even if the opportunity to do so came along. On the slim to nil chance that she would see this thread, I would tell her that I have lots of regret about what happened (if I could go back and do it over again I would do things differently no matter what happened) and that I’ve changed since I left religion behind.

[traveller2]

(actual conversation)

 

Me: How are you?

Person: Good. I mean, 'well'! I am not good, only God is good! How are you?

Me: Uhhh...

 

hahaha yesssssss that was a rare one but I heard it yrs ago once.Its based on a gospel scripture.truly makes you want to throw up in its pointlessness.

[Suzy]

(actual conversation)

 

Me: How are you?

Person: Good. I mean, 'well'! I am not good, only God is good! How are you?

Me: Uhhh...

 

As a Christian I acutally refrained from saying things like "this or that person is a good person" because of the Bible saying only God is good...

[♦ ficino ♦]

The capacity of some people to recount entire conversations word for word ("and I said... and she says... and then I'm like... and she's like..." etc. etc.) can drive me crazy (unless the conversation is a juicy one). But the worse is when the other speaker is GOD. "I said.... and God said... and I said... and God says..."). How the fuck can they justify not only believing in a God who makes no sense, but quoting actual words? But usually everyone just nods and says Amen. I say Glory like Brother Jeff.

[traveller2]

prayer closet....need I say more

 

hahahah fuckingm in the closet lol

[Roxie]

When you are experiencing something devasting in your life like being laid of from yout job or contracting and incurable case of leprosy, someone says, "God is trying to tell you something."

 

When complaining about something (like the sentence above) they say, "Look how jesus suffered."

 

And one interesting one I haven't heard before, was a self-appointed preacher who told me that "He had blessed god."

 

And apparently god can only understand King James English, i.e. thee, thou, verily, sinneth, etc.

[Reprobate]

Fake it till you make it.

[Droptail]

Anything to do with blood or nails or thorns or any goriness that Christians like to portray in a positive light. "Washed in his blood" is a singularly flagrant example of this.

[jackbauer]

"God is not politically correct" One of those Bill O'reillyesque expressions used by the right wing fundies to justify their bigotry.

 

"God speaks through scripture" Glurge aside, it encourages delusional thinking. You'll read the scripture and interpret is as God speaking to you. Even though God could easily speak to people in ways that are clear.

 

"Faith not feeling" Bullshit! A lot of the stuff in the religion is based on feeling. How do you know one is saved? Can you see it? Can you hear it? Can you use any of your five senses? No? Than you're using fucking feelings!

 

I know there's more, but those are the three which I never want to hear again.

[mcdaddy]

"I'll be there at the potluck next Sunday! LORD WILLING of course!! Tee hee hee !"

[TrailBlazer]

On Easter: "He is risen" "He is risen indeed"

At Christmas time: "Jesus is the reason for the season" - Bahumbug!