I Can't Move On.

[ConureDelSol]

Christine, I understand what you mean about enjoying some things by yourself. I enjoy spending time on my computer or just playing with my bird. Do you like animals? Spending time with a pet can do wonders for your mental health. I was a Christian going through a very very deep depression when I got my parrot, Skittles. That darn bird managed to brighten up my life and time I might've spent doing things I shouldn't be doing on the internet is spent taking care of him now. He is actually cuddled inside my shirt as I type this! If you have any pets now, spend time with them! If you can't afford a pet, you could try volunteering at a shelter! Animals seem to be more understanding than people sometimes.

 

If you don't like animals, that painting idea you mentioned sounds wonderful. Maybe you could combine some music with it for ambiance. It may not be the root of your struggles, but I think making yourself busy or at least distracted is one way to get away from Mac. I don't know if you're on medication or even desire it, but it might be a good idea just to hop on some anxiety meds (with an OK from your Doc of course) for those crazy moments in life. I have Cymbalta on a daily basis and Ativan when I start having panic attacks.

 

I wish I could suggest something more for you!

[Galien]

So you can stop pretending you have some sort of special knowledge of her situation. Your protecting her from what she needs is classic codependent behavior.

 

 

And of course you know what she needs better than anyone. Yawn.

 

Having a family full of dysfunctionals doesn't make you Dr. Phil either. Please don't make me say it.......Fucking knowall ***** grrr

 

Are you *******? I *don't* know what she needs better than anyone. I can't help her. Nobody here can, not in the way she needs. You sure aren't helping her. That's why she needs professional help.

 

Having a family full of dysfunctionals makes me able to recognize codependent behavior. That's you. It ain't rocket science. You're not doing her any favors.

 

And having a family of dysfunctionals of my own, one who also knows all the clever psych buzzwords, probably does qualify me to find your amateur diagnosis laughable.

 

Keep your nasty know all comments to yourself. Shame they teach you lot psych 101 over there, and not "Hey there might be different ways to look at things than the way we do" 101.

 

Now there's a concept.

[Guest Valk0010]

She doesn't want actual help, she wants pity and nothing else.

[Galien]

She doesn't want actual help, she wants pity and nothing else.

 

Song for you valkie:

 

I can't believe you have a heart of stone, I saw you crying when you thought you were alone.....

[Guest ChristineE]

ConureDelSol: Those are all wonderful suggestions. I have a cat named Snoopy, a longhaired Siamese mix. He's 12 years old and adorable as anything. I love bunnies. I'd get a bunny if I weren't afraid my kitty would tear him to bits. Also, would that be Skittles in your profile pic? He's beautiful!

I have been going outside more than usual, listening to Emmy Rossum's album "Inside Out". If you've never heard it it's on youtube. I love all the songs, particularly "Slow Me Down" and "Lullaby"

 

I'm actually not looking for pity from any of you guys, Valk. Yes, I tend to be a bit overdependent on people like Mr. Spann, and yes, he lets me cry on his shoulder. But I have to say if ALL you could give me is pity, I'd likely be more depressed rather than helped. I think I've tried to clarify about ten times now that I neither want nor expect you to care for me in the manner that my mentors have. That's a real task, and I'd only ever allow you to try it if you thought you could handle me. I happen to like having someone there to comfort me when I'm upset, but I fully understand it won't be you. Or anyone here.

 

Then again, nor do I want you to swing to the total opposite of that spectrum and be completely unhelpful, assuming that I'm a liar, or seeking pity, or even that I'm in a romantic relationship with my mentors (! What is WRONG with you people!) If you want to know what I'd like you to try and do, look at ConureDelSol's most recent post.

[mymistake]

So if somebody doesn't want help nobody else is allowed to notice? Or are we allowed to notice as long as we don't comment? Galien we are not here to be mean. Are we picking on Christine? No, we are responding to her words. There are a lot of mixed messages in her story. Between the lines is a theme that doesn't change even though the story itself changes like the wind.

[Guest ChristineE]

And that's another thing. How the HELL can you pick out inconsistencies in a TRUTHFUL ACCOUNT??? If it actually happened to me, how are you finding things that "Don't add up"? IT ALL adds up, because it happened and it's TRUE!! Urgh. People.

[mymistake]

And that's another thing. How the HELL can you pick out inconsistencies in a TRUTHFUL ACCOUNT??? If it actually happened to me, how are you finding things that "Don't add up"? IT ALL adds up, because it happened and it's TRUE!! Urgh. People.

 

Because the human mind is subjective by nature. What a person presents as "true" can only be as accurate as what they believe to be the truth. I could go through the thread and point out what so many other people have noticed. However I don't think that exercise will benefit you. If you disagree then let me know.

[ToonForever]

So you can stop pretending you have some sort of special knowledge of her situation. Your protecting her from what she needs is classic codependent behavior.

 

 

And of course you know what she needs better than anyone. Yawn.

 

Having a family full of dysfunctionals doesn't make you Dr. Phil either. Please don't make me say it.......Fucking knowall ***** grrr

 

Are you *******? I *don't* know what she needs better than anyone. I can't help her. Nobody here can, not in the way she needs. You sure aren't helping her. That's why she needs professional help.

 

Having a family full of dysfunctionals makes me able to recognize codependent behavior. That's you. It ain't rocket science. You're not doing her any favors.

 

And having a family of dysfunctionals of my own, one who also knows all the clever psych buzzwords, probably does qualify me to find your amateur diagnosis laughable.

 

Keep your nasty know all comments to yourself. Shame they teach you lot psych 101 over there, and not "Hey there might be different ways to look at things than the way we do" 101.

 

Now there's a concept.

 

You're delusional. They teach us more, so you're smarter?

 

I'll say it again. Get out of the way. You're holding her back. You want to be her friend? Join the chorus and urge her to get help. Else you're just part of the problem.

[Guest Valk0010]

She doesn't want actual help, she wants pity and nothing else.

 

Song for you valkie:

 

I can't believe you have a heart of stone, I saw you crying when you thought you were alone.....

I tried to help her, she doesn't seem to want to do anything more then be manipulative.

 

After talking to her, I think hard to understand is more likely then manipulative.

[LivingLife]

We are now talking of Christine in the 3rd person. 33/38 posts on this thread alone.

 

Yup, attention troll.

 

If you have reached this aspect of being referred to as she instead of you, know that you have awakened the scorn of us here.

 

If you have a real problem as you claim, none of us can or will help you so run along and get real help.

[Galien]

So you can stop pretending you have some sort of special knowledge of her situation. Your protecting her from what she needs is classic codependent behavior.

 

 

And of course you know what she needs better than anyone. Yawn.

 

Having a family full of dysfunctionals doesn't make you Dr. Phil either. Please don't make me say it.......Fucking knowall ***** grrr

 

Are you *******? I *don't* know what she needs better than anyone. I can't help her. Nobody here can, not in the way she needs. You sure aren't helping her. That's why she needs professional help.

 

Having a family full of dysfunctionals makes me able to recognize codependent behavior. That's you. It ain't rocket science. You're not doing her any favors.

 

And having a family of dysfunctionals of my own, one who also knows all the clever psych buzzwords, probably does qualify me to find your amateur diagnosis laughable.

 

Keep your nasty know all comments to yourself. Shame they teach you lot psych 101 over there, and not "Hey there might be different ways to look at things than the way we do" 101.

 

Now there's a concept.

 

You're delusional. They teach us more, so you're smarter?

 

I'll say it again. Get out of the way. You're holding her back. You want to be her friend? Join the chorus and urge her to get help. Else you're just part of the problem.

 

Mate you know what you can do with your chorus. Don't try and bully me.

[Galien]

She doesn't want actual help, she wants pity and nothing else.

 

Song for you valkie:

 

I can't believe you have a heart of stone, I saw you crying when you thought you were alone.....

I tried to help her, she doesn't seem to want to do anything more then be manipulative.

 

After talking to her, I think hard to understand is more likely then manipulative.

 

 

Yeah I know mate, I remember once you said some thing to me along the lines of "i know what I am but what are you" or some such thing I hadn't heard of before. We don't tend to play such mental games in australia. Some people are just more complex and harder to understand than others. This is why this one size fits all template drives me around the twist.

[Legion]

I think if she sees that she's severely codependent, and yet see's nothing wrong with this, then you're wasting your time.

 

She is her enemy, an enemy she refuses to recognize.

 

 

 

.

[ToonForever]

So you can stop pretending you have some sort of special knowledge of her situation. Your protecting her from what she needs is classic codependent behavior.

 

 

And of course you know what she needs better than anyone. Yawn.

 

Having a family full of dysfunctionals doesn't make you Dr. Phil either. Please don't make me say it.......Fucking knowall ***** grrr

 

Are you *******? I *don't* know what she needs better than anyone. I can't help her. Nobody here can, not in the way she needs. You sure aren't helping her. That's why she needs professional help.

 

Having a family full of dysfunctionals makes me able to recognize codependent behavior. That's you. It ain't rocket science. You're not doing her any favors.

 

And having a family of dysfunctionals of my own, one who also knows all the clever psych buzzwords, probably does qualify me to find your amateur diagnosis laughable.

 

Keep your nasty know all comments to yourself. Shame they teach you lot psych 101 over there, and not "Hey there might be different ways to look at things than the way we do" 101.

 

Now there's a concept.

 

You're delusional. They teach us more, so you're smarter?

 

I'll say it again. Get out of the way. You're holding her back. You want to be her friend? Join the chorus and urge her to get help. Else you're just part of the problem.

 

Mate you know what you can do with your chorus. Don't try and bully me.

 

Bully you? Nice try. Victim mentality much? No wonder you coddle Christine. Birds of a feather. Just trying to talk some sense into you. I see it's useless. Carry on being unhelpful.

[Galien]

Groupthink much? Is there any kind of behaviour or comment a person can make that does not tap into your borg like assessment of EVERYTHING?. All I can say is thank fuck I don't live there.

 

Is there anything you people don't have an answer for, any time you can throw you hands in the air and say we don't know what to do, or are you always so bloody sure you have a handle on everything? Can you answer a question or look at a situation without spewing forth a stream of platitudes, buzzwords and utter certainty that you are 100% right?

 

14 trillion dollars in debt and 50 million people on food stamps, and I am delusional? Methinks at somepoint someone forgot how to hold a mirror up to themselves before they opened their mouth.

 

The OP considers me a friend, and that is because I do not judge her or try and fix her. She is a person who deserves to be listened to despite her issues. I know over there you easily toss people in the trash who do not conform the way you think they should. We aren't quite there yet, we still think other human beings should be treated with respect and dignity, no matter their mental health status their sexual orientation or their social status.

[Legion]

I do not judge her or try and fix her.

 

I don't judge her either. I feel sad for her. She is caught in a trap.

 

1 ) She knows she is very codependent

2 ) She doesn't see anything wrong with this.

 

By my thinking then she has accepted that she is engaging in unhealthy behavior.

 

Edit: and there's nothing we can do about it. Until she recognizes that her own behavior is the source of her problems, then that behavior will not change.

[Zephie]

After reading everything and I think I posted a couple of times too, I just want her to be healthy and happy. ChristineE knows she needs to get away from this douche that's treating her like she says. I dunno. Hope she can get some kind of help and support. Just my thoughts.

[Galien]

I do not judge her or try and fix her.

 

I don't judge her either. I feel sad for her. She is caught in a trap.

 

1 ) She knows she is very codependent

2 ) She doesn't see anything wrong with this.

 

By my thinking then she has accepted that she is engaging in unhealthy behavior.

 

Edit: and there's nothing we can do about it. Until she recognizes that her own behavior is the source of her problems, then that behavior will not change.

 

That is right Legion, people need to take their own time to work through their issues. It is also true that no matter what Christine tells us, we cannot fully know the depth of her pain or her fear. We cannot experience her life the way she does. All we can do is lend support. Most people engage in unhealthy behaviours of one kind or another. If only we could indivudually admit to and address our own a bit more readily, then the world would be an easier place for all of us.

[Legion]

All we can do is lend support.

 

Well it seems to me that the best encouragement would be accompanied by useful advice.

 

Most people engage in unhealthy behaviours of one kind or another.

 

quite likely true. But if I was stabbing myself in the eye, and didn't recognize that this was what was causing the pain, then I might appreciate it somewhat if someone would say, "Don't you know that stabbing yourself in the eye is causing the pain?"

[mymistake]

Groupthink much? Is there any kind of behaviour or comment a person can make that does not tap into your borg like assessment of EVERYTHING?. All I can say is thank fuck I don't live there.

 

Is there anything you people don't have an answer for, any time you can throw you hands in the air and say we don't know what to do, or are you always so bloody sure you have a handle on everything? Can you answer a question or look at a situation without spewing forth a stream of platitudes, buzzwords and utter certainty that you are 100% right?

 

14 trillion dollars in debt and 50 million people on food stamps, and I am delusional? Methinks at somepoint someone forgot how to hold a mirror up to themselves before they opened their mouth.

 

The OP considers me a friend, and that is because I do not judge her or try and fix her. She is a person who deserves to be listened to despite her issues. I know over there you easily toss people in the trash who do not conform the way you think they should. We aren't quite there yet, we still think other human beings should be treated with respect and dignity, no matter their mental health status their sexual orientation or their social status.

 

What are you getting so worked up for? Really I don't get it. If you think you should be her "mentor" then nobody is stopping you. Your rants are not doing you any favors. We are not being mean to you or to ChristeneE. We are not the ones playing mental games.

 

Yes ChristieneE sees you as a friend. Is that because you are such a great friend or because ChristieneE rejects the friendship of everyone else?

[Guest ChristineE]

It's because she's among the few here who never used the words, "Manipulative", "attention-seeking", or "coddle". That and the amount of time she's stood up for me on this thread! I don't reject anyone's friendship. I'm not even sore at Valk anymore after he got to know me and realized I'm not any sort of troll.

[mymistake]

It's because she's among the few here who never used the words, "Manipulative", "attention-seeking", or "coddle". That and the amount of time she's stood up for me on this thread!

 

Lots of people stood up for you in this thread. They told you to get professional help. Who is your friend - the person who tells you your fly is down so you can fix it or the person who notices and lets you walk around all day with your fly down?

 

I don't reject anyone's friendship.

 

So which it is? Are you friends with just the one who never used the words "Manipulative", "attention-seeking", or "coddle" and has (agreed) with you all this time or are you friends with everyone? If you are friends with everyone then please inform Galien and act like you accept the friendship of everyone. If Galien is your only friend then come clean about that. You can't have it both ways.

 

I'm not even sore at Valk anymore after he got to know me and realized I'm not any sort of troll.

 

I was there that night. I saw what happened. I was also there the night before and saw how that went down.

[Guest ChristineE]

I'm not "friends" with everyone, because everyone doesn't want to be friends with me. Namely those who still think ill of me.But if they change their minds I'm very open to friendship. Honestly, I'm easy going so long as you don't call me a liar or a troll or an attention-seeker

[mymistake]

I'm not "friends" with everyone, because everyone doesn't want to be friends with me. Namely those who still think ill of me.But if they change their minds I'm very open to friendship. Honestly, I'm easy going so long as you don't call me a liar or a troll or an attention-seeker

 

You are getting it all backwards. Before you came here nobody here said anything to you. You came here with a clean slate. You send messages that push people away. And then once you had pushed people away it is some how their fault that when they offered you friendship things didn't work out.