mcdaddy Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 Yay another member of the UYC! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 "UYC"? Unbelievers <something> Club? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadrunner Posted October 2, 2012 Author Share Posted October 2, 2012 unequally yoked club but I like. unbelieving young cad. I think that fits us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 unequally yoked club Ah. Thanks. You would think I would know that, since I'm a member of it, and all. EDIT: Changed my user title to remind myself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chipper Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Hey you'd be surprised how many of us are in that same position. Pull up a chair and get comfortable. Would you mind taking a quick poll? 1. Did you get married as a christian? 2. Are you under 40? 3. Did you intend to raise your kids as christian before they got here? 4. Did you silently drift away from faith (no one knows)? 5. Do you now have to now vent frustration on the internet (alone) and learn about all the you missed as a xian on the internet since your wife doesn't care or know about any of it? I can pretty much answer all 5 questions with one word, "Yes". Although as for number 3, I have always intended for my children to think for themselves and be allowed to choose but I had intended on going to church, now I absolutely do not want them in church until they are less impressionable and able to reason things for themselves. I'll start a new thread too, I could use a therapeutic release about now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadrunner Posted October 5, 2012 Author Share Posted October 5, 2012 Hey you'd be surprised how many of us are in that same position. Pull up a chair and get comfortable. Would you mind taking a quick poll? 1. Did you get married as a christian? 2. Are you under 40? 3. Did you intend to raise your kids as christian before they got here? 4. Did you silently drift away from faith (no one knows)? 5. Do you now have to now vent frustration on the internet (alone) and learn about all the you missed as a xian on the internet since your wife doesn't care or know about any of it? I can pretty much answer all 5 questions with one word, "Yes". Although as for number 3, I have always intended for my children to think for themselves and be allowed to choose but I had intended on going to church, now I absolutely do not want them in church until they are less impressionable and able to reason things for themselves. I'll start a new thread too, I could use a therapeutic release about now. Welcome to the UYC. As for #3 the disclaimer is that you would have had to lost faith after the kids but it seems to be a growing trend. Cant wait to here your story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolish girl Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 UYC.....reporting for duty. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Hey you'd be surprised how many of us are in that same position. Pull up a chair and get comfortable. Would you mind taking a quick poll? 1. Did you get married as a christian? 2. Are you under 40? 3. Did you intend to raise your kids as christian before they got here? 4. Did you silently drift away from faith (no one knows)? 5. Do you now have to now vent frustration on the internet (alone) and learn about all the you missed as a xian on the internet since your wife doesn't care or know about any of it? Looking at this again, I think that we could get rid of the "under 40" part of it. While I think most of us in the UYC are under 40, but if my actual deconversion had come just a few years later, I would have been a member over 40. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Better late than never. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellwood Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 UYC card carrier here. Been several weeks since I have had to defend my club membership to my wife. Nice. Hope it continues for a while. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darwinfish Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 An update to my update ... This past weekend me and my wife took a whole day (about seven hours) out of the house and away from the kids together. She's been asking me a bunch of political questions lately, and although, I've been honest with her, I've tried to be careful with my words so as to not upset her. Along with her faith, she takes politics very personal. I've never really been political, but the thoughts on politics I do have don't really line up with her's. All in all, she's being more open to talk with me about these things and trying hard not to get emotional if I don't agree with her. During our day out, she told me that she wants to talk to me about faith, but is worried that she'll get too emotional, and that I'll respond badly, and, then it becomes a fight. So, we agreed that if a topic starts upsetting her, she can let me know that she wants to end the topic before she gets emotional about it, and I won't push her to talk about it after that. This is her way of trying to accept me as an atheist, while still being very attached to her beliefs. She was even trying to encourage me to hang out with some atheist guys I meet at the Recovering From Religion meetups I used to go to. This is a pretty positive change considering I stopped going to church a month ago, and I thought that would be upsetting to her. I'm starting to see an acceptance with my wife that hasn't been there since I came out to her. And, as for the day out, it was really good to have that time alone. So, we've decided to plan a day like that at least once a month now. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 That's a nice follow-up, illusion. I hope this means that your wife is really coming to terms with who you really are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Yes, it's great to hear that things are getting better. It sounds like she's getting over the initial shock, but of course it's probably still hard for her. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadrunner Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 Yeah its pretty much a hot button issue in our house too. When its not on the table everything seems normal even though she swears that she's dying on the inside even when we're all having a good time. She also get very upset and thinks I have an attitude about the topic. I think its just because the very idea that I dont buy into something that she takes so seriously is offensive so the knee-jerk reaction is to put up your guard even when Im not on the offense. Being in the UYC will turn you gray fast. (yes I know that its a myth that stress causes gray but you get the idea) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rek99 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Since the last update I've only had one real "fight" with the wife, and it was kind of a big one. Here's the email that I sent her the next day: Baby, I really am sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have said fairy tales, it was truly disrespectful of your beliefs. I will try and use more appropriate terms in the future. The main hang-up I have is that I feel we cannot even have a conversation about beliefs and education because anything I say will offend you. I will try to speak without harsh words, but I cannot back down from things that cannot be proven, or even somewhat proven. Just because science cannot disprove the existence of a god does not mean that there is a god. Science can only speak about things that are testable and measurable. If there is a god and he has some sort of power, he apparently doesn’t want to be seen or observed because he does not do anything currently that can be spoken of. Two hundred years ago, someone with an unknown disease or affliction that was not known of or diagnosed at the time was said to be cursed or evil. Now that those diseases and disabilities are known we can say what they are. My point is, 1500 years ago people thought the Earth was the center of the universe. Galileo was imprisoned by the church for blaspheming against god for proclaiming that the sun was the center of our solar system. 1000 years ago the church said those who got the black plague were evildoers and rallied against scientific research into virus inoculations to prevent diseases. 500 years ago people thought Columbus would sail off the edge of the earth in his “vain” attempt to search for a new world. A few hundred years ago people with unknown diseases like polio, mental retardation, Tourette’s Syndrome, and birth defects were said to be cursed, evil, or punished by god. ALL of these things are now explained and the explanations are accepted by the church, but not after hindering thousands of years of human progress. This isn’t the case as much in America today, well, it is in the south where they want to teach creationism as science; but it is in other countries. Think of modern Islam, Hinduism, and various other sects of these religions that are constantly fighting with one another. They are blowing up buses and hospitals using women and children as bait to kill innocents. They oppress the rights of women and minorities in an effort to forward their own version of god. This was the case with Christianity even recently! Now, women are allowed to serve in ministry, but try having a women preacher or even announcement reader on stage 50 years ago and you would have a riot on your hands. Interpreting a passage differently is not progress in my eyes, it’s someone’s personal beliefs on how that passage should be read. Even Christian sects are currently fighting with one another over different versions of the bible. Just google “violence in northern Ireland” for current examples of Christians killing one another. If there really was one true and real god, it would be unquestionable. No mere man would be able to compete with the knowledge and wisdom found in the one true holy writings. It would be profoundly insightful with things that nobody could possible contend with. A person without divine insight, like god would have, would be proven as a fraud, because his writings would not be consistent with what we already have from god. Anyway, this has rambled on long enough. You asked for some passages and here are just a few: Numbers 5:11-22 Deuteronomy 25:11 Deuteronomy 22:28-29 Jeremiah 19:9 Samuel 15:31 Peter 2:18 I’m not asking you to research them or even showing you these to shake your faith. I’m showing these to you because passages like this are in the bible. I can’t accept a god that condones (or as many Christians today would say, “condoned”), rape, witchcraft, slavery, and cannibalism. This is a site to show the current contradictions and impossibilities in the bible: http://www.bidstrup.com/bible2.htm A very good series on the foundational falsehoods of creationism is linked below. The first link is to the beginning of the whole series. The second link is to the one that I was talking about last night that shows there is no missing link, and that evolution is a fact. He does use some sarcasm but if you look past that there are legitimate arguments: Again, I’m not asking you to change your mind. I’m showing you what made it impossible for me to believe in the god of the bible anymore. I love you honey and I hope you can read this without thinking that I’m “believing the lies of this world” and rather I am looking at actual scientific research. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darwinfish Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Since the last update I've only had one real "fight" with the wife, and it was kind of a big one. I'm hoping for a good outcome for you, Rek. My experience makes me think that even if she were to read those verses or watch those videos, she will think that there's a Christian argument that makes sense. It's easier to believe that there's some explanation that a well versed Christian would know, than to think that you really have been wrong all these years. I do applaud you for showing her all these issues. I've written similar things to my wife, and got absolutely no response from her, other than her saying, "I think Satan is trying to pull us apart." On the bright side, most of us were just as entrenched in those beliefs and realized how illogical they were. So, there is a chance for our spouses to see that, too. I hope your wife will look into those things, some spouses on this site have seen through the B.S. Maybe yours will be one of them. Good luck, buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rek99 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Thanks man. It's all good, but my wife is doing things similar to yours. Saying I'm deceived by the devil, believing worldy lies, etc..... She even says the same things about being depressed even when we're all having fun as a family. UYC indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadrunner Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 You guys are lucky, my wife keeps bringing in "big dogs" (pastor, dad, religious friends). Nothing more insulting than to admit ignorance to the point that you have to call in others who aren't even in our marriage. They all fail miserably by the way. Its funny how a well thought out rebuttal from my loved ones ends up sounding like the bozos who call into atheist experience. its the same non-sense. kind of sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I will admit that I have been lucky so far, in that my wife hasn't tried to have her dad, her brother, or some other pastor try to talk me back into Christianity. She also hasn't made any negative comments to me about not going to church. I just hope she's not just building up a ton of resentment toward me by not talking about it. I've been watching for any signs of it, but I'm also not the best at reading people, so who knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new2me Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 If there really was one true and real god, it would be unquestionable. No mere man would be able to compete with the knowledge and wisdom found in the one true holy writings. It would be profoundly insightful with things that nobody could possible contend with. A person without divine insight, like god would have, would be proven as a fraud, because his writings would not be consistent with what we already have from god. I like this. I just can't imagine that if god existed, he would be able to stand having all sorts of people (who he loves, right?) arguing about who he is and what he expects from them. So instead, as people kill, torture, and emotionally damage each other because of god, he doesn't even bother trying to straighten everyone out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Since I am the original namer, founder, CEO and Fuhrer of the UYC, I demand that all members send me 25% of your income (gross, NOT NET) to help the less fortunate unequally yokeders. If you ask for proof I am not dispensing the funds in an upright manner, that shows a lack of faith and you will be banned from UYC. That will be all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Since I am the original namer, founder, CEO and Fuhrer of the UYC, I demand that all members send me 25% of your income (gross, NOT NET) to help the less fortunate unequally yokeders. If you ask for proof I am not dispensing the funds in an upright manner, that shows a lack of faith and you will be banned from UYC. That will be all. That's fine. I'll just start my own club, and call it the Club for the Unequally Yoked (CUY). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Since I am the original namer, founder, CEO and Fuhrer of the UYC, I demand that all members send me 25% of your income (gross, NOT NET) to help the less fortunate unequally yokeders. If you ask for proof I am not dispensing the funds in an upright manner, that shows a lack of faith and you will be banned from UYC. That will be all. That's fine. I'll just start my own club, and call it the Club for the Unequally Yoked (CUY). Well, we'll have nude mixers and donkey rides at mine. Eat my ass, competitor! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Since I am the original namer, founder, CEO and Fuhrer of the UYC, I demand that all members send me 25% of your income (gross, NOT NET) to help the less fortunate unequally yokeders. If you ask for proof I am not dispensing the funds in an upright manner, that shows a lack of faith and you will be banned from UYC. That will be all. That's fine. I'll just start my own club, and call it the Club for the Unequally Yoked (CUY). Well, we'll have nude mixers and donkey rides at mine. Eat my ass, competitor! My club is cheaper. So there's that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Are you two just *ASKING* for the otters to kill us all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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